The Adorable Dungeon Master Vol 1

Prologue: Death by Deprivation of Cuteness

My name is Lucia Morales. At least, I used to call myself that. Other people did too. Back then, I was twenty-two years old, and I was studying to become an interpreter—at least, I was until an incident that happened on a certain day. I’ll get to that in a bit, but first, a little bit more about the life I used to lead. I grew up in a multilingual household with my mother, an interpreter and translator; my father, a construction worker; and three older brothers. Before I started high school, I’d already decided to become an interpreter, just like my mother, so I studied a lot.

As you might have guessed, my study habits led to me not being very popular at school. I wasn’t exactly socially awkward, I just prioritized my language learning over making friends. Fortunately, my brothers, who were all bigger and more athletic than I was, made sure the bullying never got out of hand. Even so, school was pretty rough for me.

Around five years ago, I was still in high school, and going through a particularly rough time. Looking for a way to unwind, I picked up my smartphone and searched for games. There were so many available, and I tried quite a few of them, but none held my interest very long. Luckily the algorithm came to my rescue, and after I’d tried a few games out, the recommendations got better. Finally I found myself looking at the banner for a game called “Questonicia.” It might not have been the most popular, but it ended up changing my life forever. Not that I knew that back then, but as I looked at the banner with its cute little characters, I decided I had to play it.

Questonicia (a name made by combining the words “quest” and “nice”) was a mobile game, but the virtual world it was set in used procedural generation. It was literally infinite. The game world expanded as people found new places to explore. There weren’t really towns and villages in the beginning, but that was the point. Players chose their characters from one of four factions: the Hyumins, Gawordens, Necromages, and Sprigians. Each faction had a different role in the game, but all of them could create things.

Hyumins were basically just humans, and they used resources to build cities and roads. Gawordens were beast-like people who managed ecosystems, creating animals and plants. Necromages created and managed underground tombs full of undead creatures. Sprigians primarily created towers, which they could fill with monsters, but they could also expand their dungeons by creating more towers, then using their exclusive Adjoin ability to connect them together.

It was the Sprigian faction that got me to download this game in the first place. Their cute designs and adorable monster minions were all over the banner ad. So, when I created my character, I chose to make a Sprigian. Not because of their gameplay mechanics, but because of how cute they were. The entire game had a playful art style, but the Sprigians were next level adorable. I definitely spent well over an hour in the character creator, fussing over how my in-game persona would look. Her skin, hair, even the size of her butt were all options I could play with. The end result was Lilac Grimwood, my avatar. Even though Lilac was the character I played in the game, I treated her more like a virtual pet.

With a few pokes of the screen, I made her skin color a light brown, close to what mine was in real life. Her hair was a pale purple, and her eyes were a special color called “twilight sky.” This color made her eyes take on a silvery hue, and it looked like there were tiny stars floating in her pupils. She was an absolute masterpiece. Like all Sprigians, she had adorable chibi character proportions and huge eyes. Characters from other factions were still cute, but in Questonicia, Sprigians reigned supreme in that department. They were the smallest race, while the other races were more like “half chibi” and didn’t stir my maternal instincts.

With the rest of my life so miserable at the time, Lilac quickly became a sanctuary of sorts for me. Before I knew it, I was doting on her like a grandparent. I used real money to buy her in-game dresses and accessories. Every day I looked forward to coming home and dressing her up, styling her hair, and surveying her little tower. There were all sorts of adorable little Sprigian creatures to fill the tower with. Each one had their own summoning requirements and required a certain amount of time to create. Since my main interest in the game was how cute everything was, I never used any of the items that made construction go faster; I just enjoyed watching my cute little minions build stuff with their tiny hammers or carry resources around.

Eventually, my brothers found out about the game, and they all started playing too. Each of them chose a different faction, but we all cooperated together to make cities, forests, and dungeons. Carlos, my eldest brother, played a Hyumin and built a city which I surrounded with adjoined towers for defense. Pedro, the second oldest, chose a Necromage character; he built an underground labyrinth beneath the city and connected it to my tower labyrinth aboveground. Manuel, my third brother, created a female Gaworden avatar and populated the area around the city with forests and animals. I surrounded those forests with another set of towers, and our perfect little settlement was born. Our collaborative effort eventually became a popular spot for other players to go on adventures. There was a town to stock up on supplies, a forest to go hunting in, and an expansive series of dungeons full of monsters to battle.

Thanks to my brothers, I also ended up taking Lilac on adventures and gaining levels. In battle, Carlos was our tank, a defensive character who drew the attention of monsters and animals. Pedro was a combat mage with an array of magic for defeating enemies, and Manuel was a scout who could disarm traps and sneak up on foes to ambush them. And I, as Lilac, was our healer, with an array of spells designed to recover health and remove negative effects. As we gained levels, I was able to summon even more monsters, and my casual little dungeon became a huge wall that protected our city.

Even as our city’s in-game popularity grew and our characters got stronger, though, I still had the most fun when I was just playing with Lilac. Her little dungeon master room was decorated with all of the cutest furnishings available. I would rearrange them and try different combinations, then change her clothes and do it all again. I took so many screenshots. I started up a social media account just for Lilac, and posted pics of her room. I think I inspired quite a few other girls to try the game.

Before I knew it, high school had ended, and I was studying more than ever. I still played the game at least once a day, but I spent way less time on it than I did while I was in school. I told myself it would all pay off once I successfully became an interpreter, but I missed Lilac just the same. When I did play, instead of my phone I used a tablet I’d splurged on it so I could watch Lilac on a bigger screen. Er, I mean, I’d bought it for school, and just happened to have room to download the game on it. I bought plush toys of characters from the game and filled my real-life room with them. They were all too cute, so I couldn’t help myself. When I looked at them while I was studying, it was like they were cheering me on. I had to try hard, for them!

Anyway, the day my life turned upside down began as my brothers and I were helping my parents pack up a moving truck. The old house we’d all grown up in was located in a rough neighborhood, and my parents had talked about moving somewhere else for as long as I could remember. On that day, it was finally happening. My parents were both doing better at work, so we could finally afford to move into a better neighborhood. My brothers had all moved out already, but they came back to help load the rented moving truck. So it was a sort of family reunion atmosphere.

“Man, the neighborhood looks even worse now than when we were kids,” said Carlos. He was tall and muscular, and kept his hair cut in a super short buzz cut. He had been quite the athlete during school, but now he was working for my father, with the intention of one day taking over the construction business.

“Without us around to say anything, the punks around here have really gone wild, huh?” Pedro agreed. He was a bit shorter than Carlos, but no less athletic. He’d used to dream of becoming a professional athlete, but lately, he did landscaping work. He had handsome features, and the top of his head was covered in curly black hair.

“Jeez, there’s dumb looking graffiti everywhere,” said Manuel. “Those kids never learn. I’m glad we’re getting mom, dad, and Lucia out of here.” Manuel was shorter than both of my other brothers. Like the rest of us, he had light brown skin. His black hair was done in cornrows. He’d been a track and field athlete in high school, but in college, he studied art. He wanted to be a painter.

“We gonna be livin’ the peaceful suburban life from now on!” my father announced.

My father was shorter than all of my brothers, and even though his gut was starting to expand a bit now that he was in management, his arms were still plenty muscular. He was going bald, so he wore a baseball cap to hide the top of his head.

The four of them chatted away as they loaded furniture and boxes onto the truck. I was helping too, but mainly with the things from my room.

“Make sure to put these boxes on top of everything else,” I told them. “I don’t want them to get squished.”

“Why, what’s in ’em?” Carlos asked.

“Plushies.”

“Eh, they’re just stuffed animals, why’d you even put ’em in boxes?” said Pedro. “A trash bag would have worked just fine.”

“I’m not gonna treat them like trash. They’re my treasures.”

“You sure are into the cute stuff,” Manuel said. “There’s way more now than before we left.”

“I couldn’t help it, they’re all so precious!”

I hefted another box of superlight stuffed animals into the truck, and as my brothers obediently stacked it on top of everything else, I went back into the house to get the next one. I took a look around at the bare living room, then went to my room to retrieve the next box. As I headed out again, my mother emerged from the kitchen. She was making sandwiches for everyone.

“It’s so good to have the boys around for this,” she said. “They’ve all grown up so dependable.”

She had much darker skin than the rest of the family, and I always envied how beautiful she looked. Her hair was done in long braids. She always told me to be thankful for inheriting my hair from our father, but I thought hers was plenty beautiful too. Now that I was older, she was drilling the secrets of her beauty into me at every opportunity. She didn’t seem at all worried about my brothers, but she wanted me to hurry up and find someone to settle down with.

“They’re at least good enough to carry the heavy stuff,” I replied.

“You should find yourself a nice dependable guy like that. Ahora ve a buscar tu amor.”

“Really, Mom? ‘Go find your love’? I’ll find a great guy after I become an interpreter, just like you did.”

“Oh, now you’re just teasing me.” She always made a big show of being all shy about it when we talked about the way she met Dad. She acted like an innocent maiden.

“Yup, I’m just here to bring up old romantic stuff that embarrasses you.”

I walked out of the house with a smile on my face. As I headed toward the truck with the box in my arms, I could hear some people yelling down the street.

“Those punks are at it again?” spat Carlos.

“Just leave ’em be, they’ll sort themselves out,” my father told him.

The yelling kept up, though. Looking that way, I wasn’t really watching where I was going, and I bumped into Pedro as he was getting off the truck. The box of stuffed animals I was holding fell to the ground and spilled open.

“Ah, they’ll get dirty!” I shouted as I ran to their rescue. They’d fallen onto the lawn, at least; I hoped the grass would shield them from the dirt long enough for me to pack them up again.

“Ah, sorry,” said Pedro, “I wasn’t payin’ attention.”

“It’s all right, I wasn’t either,” I said as I stuffed the plushies back into their box.

The shouting down the street continued as I picked up the box and started walking toward the back of the truck.

Then I heard a loud bang.

It was an unfortunately familiar sound in that awful neighborhood. I remembered waking up to that noise in the middle of the night multiple times in the past. It was the sound of a gunshot.

For some reason, I lost my balance, and fell backward. The box I was carrying fell open again, and my plushies fell out of it, covering my face.

“Lucia!”

My father and brothers were all shouting my name for some reason.

“I can hear you just fine, the gunshot wasn’t that loud.” Or that was what I tried to say, but for some reason, nothing came out. I was on the ground, and for some reason, I couldn’t move. Suddenly, Carlos batted away the plushies covering my face. He looked so worried.

“Lucia! Hey! Hang in there!”

“Hey, don’t be mean to them. You’re gonna get them dirty. Why won’t the sounds come out when I say things?”

“Oh god! She’s bleeding everywhere!”

“Don’t move her!”

“Hello? Yes. My daughter’s been shot, please send help right away.”

Huh? Is dad on the phone? Who’s he talking to? I’m his only daughter, and I haven’t been—

Oh.

Wait.

Yeah, that makes sense. I was just thinking it was getting cold.

Dad’s giving the person on the phone our address. We were supposed to be moving away from here today. We were just a day away from being safe from this kind of thing. Well, relatively safe anyway.

What about my future as an interpreter? Did I really do all of that studying for nothing?

Mom was right, I should have just found a great guy. We could have started a family, had kids by now, if I wasn’t always stuck with my nose in a book.

OH! Lilac! You poor thing. I would have played with you more if I knew this was going to happen. If I could just see her adorable face, I’m sure this awful injury would disappear. That’s the healing power of cuteness. A little adorable goes a long way. My family is gathered around me now. They all look so sad. Hey, don’t kneel on that plushie! You’re smashing it into the ground! Adorable little things like that shouldn’t be mistreated. Why won’t the sounds come out? I need to tell them all to stop crying, get off my plush toy, and get me my tablet so I can see Lilac. The healing power of her adorable face could revive me instantly.

“Lucia! Stay with us!”

Huh? Which brother was that? It’s getting hard to tell.

Am I really going to die from lack of cuteness?

When I go to heaven will there be adorable little cherubs to comfort me? There’d better be, or I’m not going.

It’s so cold. I thought it was summer, why am I freezing?

Lilac? Is that you? Why are you crying? Please don’t be sad, I don’t want to see your sweet little face covered in tears. You’ll miss me? That’s sweet of you. I’ll miss you too. I’ll miss styling your hair, and buying you cute dresses. I’ll miss ordering your adorable little minions around the dungeon, and listening to the cute squeaking sounds they make when they move. Is this what it’s like to say goodbye to your family on your deathbed? My family can’t hear me anymore. Come to think of it, I stopped being able to hear them a while ago too. Am I already moving on to the great beyond? To die, to sleep, perchance to dream, but in that sleep, what dreams may come? That was Shakespeare, right? Well, I guess I’ll either wake up in the hospital, heaven, or not at all. See you then.

That was the last thing I thought before I died. I guess I was a bit confused there at the very end. Maybe I was hallucinating, or maybe it was more than that, but I saw Lilac hovering over me. She was crying. Seeing her cry like that made me sad too.

Chapter One: The Adorable Dungeon Master Arrives

I opened my eyes. What I saw was neither the inside of a hospital room nor the pearly gates of heaven. In front of me, behind me, and all around me was a dense forest. I looked down. I wasn’t lying on the ground anymore; my body was resting atop a huge blue flower with white spots. After a bit of rolling, I was able to slide out of it, and discovered that my feet were completely bare.

Wait, were those my feet? I couldn’t believe how tiny they were. Like the feet of a small child. My hands too. Tiny baby hands. My chest—well, no problems there. In fact, wasn’t I actually a little bigger there? At least proportionally. Compared to the rest of me, I had to say I was pretty stacked.

Am I wearing a dress? It looks familiar. I can hear water.

I walked toward the sound of flowing water, and sure enough, there was a fairly substantial river there. As I drew closer, I discovered that this part of the river was relatively calm. In fact I could almost make out my reflection.

Huh?

Pointy ears? Light purple hair. Adorably plump cheeks. The person staring back at me through the rippling water wasn’t Lucia Morales. The surface of the water reflected the distorted image of Lilac Grimwood.

Now my chibi proportions made sense. Wait, how did any of this make sense? The last thing I remembered, I was lying in the front yard dying, and now I was here in a random forest with the body of the adorable character I created in Questonicia. That really was a generic title, wasn’t it? The developers got all kinds of flak online for being lazy. Personally, as long as they kept making cute things for me to buy, I didn’t complain.

I supposed it was pointless to wonder about the hows and whys. There was nobody around to confirm whatever baseless theories I came up with, after all. I sat by the edge of the river in stunned silence for a few moments, and then I stood up to take a better look at myself.

I was wearing a light purple dress that matched my hair perfectly. It was totally normal for Sprigians to walk around barefoot. In fact, at first there had been no shoes available for them at all. The developers had claimed that it wasn’t a mistake or a technical limitation, but rather for lore reasons: Sprigians maintained the balance of the world, and being barefoot allowed them to connect to the land. Eventually, they did release footwear for Sprigians, but if you looked closely (and trust me, I did), none of them had soles. In other words, all the Sprigian footwear only covered the top part of the foot so that their bare soles could still come in contact with the ground. The dress I found myself wearing now was one without any footwear that matched it well, so Lilac always went barefoot when wearing it.

On my left wrist was Lilac’s ever-present accessory, “Fairy’s Storage Bracelet,” which allowed me to access my home inventory from anywhere. Without this essential item, players could only change equipment at home, and they couldn’t carry much without a magic bag of some kind. This bracelet was actually fairly difficult to obtain, but my brothers had helped me complete all of the quests for it. In a way, it was a precious symbol of their love for me. Equipped to the same hand, on the middle finger, was a ring called “Fairy’s Homecoming Band” that allowed the wearer to return to their home point any time they wished. This was another rare item, one that’d cost me a lot of real-world money. In a way, it was a cherished symbol of my love for little Lilac.

Oh Lilac, with this ring, I promised to love you forever and never abandon you, but then I had to get hit by a stray bullet from some dumb neighborhood turf war. Life is cruel... No, life without cuteness is cruel. A little bit of adorable goes a long way. When you’re armed with the unbeatable power of lovable charm, even the cruelest world can feel like heaven!

...Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be checking out my gear.

No bracelet on the right wrist, but on the right middle finger was...a ring I didn’t recognize? I didn’t remember ever giving this to Lilac. It didn’t look like any drop we ever found either.

I tried to visualize my status screen, but nothing happened.

I should still be able to check my inventory, right?

With that thought, I could suddenly see every item in Lilac’s extensive collection in my mind’s eye. Right away, another unfamiliar item caught my attention. I withdrew it immediately. Outwardly, the object that materialized in my tiny hands was undoubtedly a tablet. It was similar to the one I’d bought to play the game—I mean, for school. The one I’d happened to have installed and played the game on because the screen was bigger than my phone. It had a light purple case, complete with a little flap to cover the screen. The border was adorned with a green and white floral pattern. On top of the other features...it was cute. There was no switch to turn it on or off, but when I touched the screen, it flickered to life. The start-up screen said “Fairy Sovereign’s Tablet” in the most adorable font, in white letters on a lavender background. Almost immediately, it showed me a screen that looked practically identical to the user interface on my old tablet. I went to check my equipment right away.

The unknown ring was called “Ring of the Fairy Sovereign,” and, according to the description, it served as proof of being fairy royalty.

“Huh?”

I couldn’t help but say it out loud.

Wait, is that Lilac’s voice? It’s adorable. She sounds so cute. I’m gonna read the ring’s effects aloud, just so I can hear more of that charming sound.

“Let’s see. Grants the skills Ruler’s Blessing, Gate to the Unseen Realm, and Heir of Balance. In addition, increases all status values by one thousand percent. HUH?! Isn’t that really good?!”

Come to think of it, I had noticed some major bonuses to my stats. Could those numbers even get that high in-game? I was far too casual a player to know for sure.

“Hmmm, no matter where I look, there doesn’t seem to be a battery gauge on this thing. Does it last forever, then? Maybe it runs on magic or something. Well, I’m not about to question it. If it works, great! Now then, let’s check everything out and see if there are any other surprises.”

I spent over an hour poring over my status screen and inventory list. Inside my inventory, there were plenty of adorable dresses and fashion accessories, various weapons—mostly for my healer class—and a ton of single use items, but nothing else that hadn’t been there before. That was when I decided to check into the new skills the Ring of the Fairy Sovereign gave me. By highlighting an item on my screen, I could click the help icon to get more information about it. Despite the amount of time I’d spent playing over the years, I still used it a lot—sometimes the help screen even revealed hidden lore about an item.

Ruler’s Blessing allowed me to bestow special titles on those who served me. Apparently these titles would make the recipient stronger, but unfortunately, the description didn’t really say anything more about how it worked.

Gate to the Unseen Realm allowed the wearer of the ring to enter the Unseen Realm, a special dimension where the Unseen Court was located. I’d visited the Unseen Realm a few times for quests in the game. It was the home of the Queen of the Unseen, who ruled over all Sprigians. She was more dignified and beautiful than cute, but I didn’t dislike her as a character. Once again, though, the description didn’t specifically mention how to access the Unseen Realm, so the skill was useless to me.

Heir of Balance was much more useful. With this skill, I could raise the power of one combatant in a battle, and/or lower the power of the other, until they were evenly matched. In essence, it forced two parties to fight on equal terms. As a dungeon master, this was a premium skill with all kinds of potential for abuse. I could flood a dungeon with level one cuties and then make each one the same level as anyone who fought them. This was a skill I definitely wanted to try out.

Looking up from my tablet, I realized the sun was getting low. In a normal fantasy world adventure, you’d be able to just follow the first river you found and eventually you’d run into people. People tended to build towns and cities next to bodies of fresh water, so that would be a pretty safe bet. However, in the game world of Questonicia, everything was generated by artificial intelligence; it didn’t adhere to such real-world logic. In fact, it would have been troublesome for players if it did. Since one of the main things to do in the game was build things, the game didn’t really generate many towns and cities on its own. So if I’d been somehow transported into the game world, following the river could potentially take years and ultimately lead nowhere.

My best bet in this situation was to create a dungeon. A Sprigian tower dungeon always had a room available for the dungeon master’s exclusive use. From there, the dungeon master could plan the layout of the rest of the labyrinth, including the placement of monsters, traps, and treasure. Some dungeon masters left the entrance to their room open to visitors with themselves as the final boss of their dungeon, but not me. After all, a sealed dungeon master chamber was impervious to any form of attack. No place in the entire game was safer. It was also one of the few rooms in a Sprigian tower dungeon that could be placed underground.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t just stick a dungeon anywhere I wanted. There were rules. First, I needed a hollow tree. Any kind of hollow would do, as long as it was large enough to fit a Labyrinth Seed. In the game, Sprigian players started with only a single Labyrinth Seed, but once they’d built a dungeon and developed it past a certain point, they would get more of them periodically. They were hard to get when you were first playing, but right now my inventory was loaded with hundreds of them. Each one waiting to become a new dungeon.

As the sun sank low in the sky, I walked casually through the forest in search of a hollow tree. I had access to the skill Fairy Wings, which let me fly quickly to cover large distances, but I wouldn’t be able to spot hollow trees well from the air. Even if I spotted a city, I probably didn’t have anything that the people there would consider money. My inventory did have plenty of things I could sell, but they were divided into three broad categories: disposable items that might be dangerous in the wrong hands, stuff I absolutely wanted to keep, and things most people probably wouldn’t buy. Some of the items probably fell into more than one category. I was going to need to know a lot more about this world before I just randomly started selling stuff to people.

In the game it was possible to create toll gates, which other entities had to pay to get through. I’d never used this feature much because most of the items I bought were real-world money purchases. Anyway, the in-game currency was “crystals,” so it was pretty likely the people here wouldn’t care about them. Unless of course this was the game world, in which case the odds were low that there was any sort of civilization nearby. Sprigians tended to avoid cities, since many of their skills didn’t work there.

For example, as I walked through the forest, my Loved by Nature skill caused the trees to literally get out of my way. Even the gnarled roots slid underground to avoid my bare feet. The forest itself couldn’t bring itself to inconvenience me, even a little. Contrast that with a crowded city, and you could see why Sprigians preferred the outdoors. Of course, there were other skills that didn’t work indoors. Natural Stealth, Detect Malice, and Nature’s Accomplice either didn’t work at all or had limited function indoors.

Anyway, I did end up finding something, but it wasn’t a hollow tree.

I could only see the shape of it in the distance at first. Its outline looked like a figure wearing armor. My first contact with a being from this world.

Will they be friendly? Will I be able to understand them? Will they be able to understand me?

Those were the questions in my mind as I approached, brimming with hope. As I drew closer, I realized my mistake, but not before the creature noticed me. On closer inspection, it looked like a bear standing on its hind legs, but its body was covered in thick armor-like plates. Each of the claws that extended from its front paws were almost as big as one of Lilac’s forearms, and there were four of them on each paw. The huge, armored bear turned toward me and let loose a terrifying roar that sent thick strands of saliva flying from its mouth.

I swear its eyes are glowing red. It isn’t cute at all. If anyone made a plushie of this, I’d definitely slap them. Hey, maybe it’s friendly. I should try talking to it. Who could say, it might be sentient. Maybe we’ll become best buddies, and then years from now we’ll laugh about this encounter.

“Uh, hello?”

“GRAAAAAAAUUUGH!”

Nope, it was roaring again—unless that was bear-speak for “It’s really nice to meet you, let’s be friends,” I was pretty sure it wanted to kill me. Let’s see... If this was a regular grizzly bear, playing dead might work, but that’d only be if it thought I was a threat to its territory. If it saw me as food, and wanted to eat me, then that’d would be suicide. I either had to make myself as much or as little of a threat as possible... Maybe I should just back away slowly. That might work.

“GRAAAAAAAUUUGH!”

Great, it’s charging at me. Lunging forward at full speed. Didn’t I hear somewhere that an adult grizzly can run faster than— Wow, it looks even bigger up close. Maybe it’s just my sense of scale being thrown off by this new body.

Faced with the threat of evisceration, I panicked. I threw my arms out in front of me instinctively, and one of my low-level spells, Green Nature Bullet, activated. The results...were less than desirable. The armored bear was thrown off by the sudden appearance of the small, glowing, green orb of pure natural energy I fired off. It stopped charging and reared up on its hind legs. The projectile was slow, but it had a really big target.

My spell collided with the armored bear, and moments later, the horrific creature exploded into a rain of blood and gore. It went everywhere.

It splattered onto my face. It got all over my dress. There was even a fine red mist in the air. Faced with the overwhelming stench of blood and the disgusting feeling of it on my skin, I screamed.

Really, really loud.

I wasn’t proud of it, but that’s what happened.

The lower part of the thing’s body was still there, but the rest of it was blown to bits. Pretty much all that remained were its dumpy little legs, still in a standing position. In the game, defeated monsters disappeared into twinkling motes of light. In the case of animals, once they were brought down, there was a puff of smoke and then the animal’s body was replaced with resources like meat, horns, hide, or claws.

Maybe this wasn’t the game world. After all, I’d never seen a creature like that in Questonicia—it wouldn’t be cute enough to make the cut. Even the bigger, more powerful monsters in the game still had at least some of that adorable charm. But if this wasn’t the game world, then what was all this stuff from the game doing here? There was even a Way-Point Flower; I’d been lying on it when I woke up.

Wait.

THERE WAS A WAY-POINT FLOWER!

I’d been so disoriented when I arrived in this world, I didn’t even register it at the time. The huge blue flower I’d been lying on when I woke up—that was definitely a Way-Point Flower. In the game, you could register them on your map and use certain items and abilities to teleport back to them. Any race could use them, and they only ever spawned via random generation, so you couldn’t grow them yourself. Players tended to build things around them, since they were so convenient. They were useful when exploring an unfamiliar area too. Now that I had my tablet, I needed to hurry up and register it to my map.

I retraced my steps as I raced through the forest, heedless of the fact that I stank like fresh blood. There were other monsters around, but thankfully the blood warned them away. Normally, the scent of fresh blood would only lure in the carnivorous creatures of this forest, but the blood of this particular monster was actually a deterrent. It was a case of “If something made one of those bleed, you don’t want it near you,” so I went undisturbed. Of course, I knew none of this at the time.

At the end of my mad dash, I finally reached the Way-Point Flower. After I wiped some of the blood off of my hands, I quickly registered it to the map on my tablet. Then, since the flower was close to the river, I took the opportunity to freshen up a bit. The water of the river was cold, but my skin felt much better after I washed away the blood and gore.

Luckily, the blood also came off the dress I was wearing with surprising ease. In my previous life, I’d always heard bloodstains were really difficult to get out of clothing. Maybe it was the dress. It didn’t say anything about it on the status screen, but maybe it had some sort of magical resistance to stains. In any case, I was glad; I would have hated to have to throw it away or stop wearing it because it was covered in gore.

Once the blood was rinsed away, I returned to the Way-Point Flower. As I approached it, I noticed something unbelievable: Within just a few strides of the flower was a hollow tree.

Notably, the hollow was far enough off of the ground that I couldn’t reach it, but luckily I figured out how to activate the skill Fairy Wings. When I reached the opening, I peeked inside to see if anything was nesting in it. After my encounter with the strange bear, I didn’t want to be attacked when I inserted the Labyrinth Seed. There did seem to be some remnants of a bird’s nest inside, but it seemed like it had been abandoned long ago. Once I was satisfied that nothing was going to attack me from inside the tree. I took a Labyrinth Seed out of my inventory and set it right in the middle of the abandoned bird nest. Sitting there, it almost looked like a little brown egg. After a few moments, the seed started to glow, and the tree began its transformation.

I retreated backward to give the new labyrinth tower space to grow. The trunk expanded outward, swallowing up the trees around it. Whenever a Labyrinth Seed was planted, it absorbed most of the nearby trees and plants and incorporated them into itself. I watched the process unfold in person for the first time. If there’d been more time, I would have liked to find a hollow tree close to a field of flowers... Sprigian towers with flowers incorporated into them always looked way cuter. Just then, it was less of a tower and more of a small hut, though. The structure was currently a cube shape, with two rooms. One room was the entryway, and the other was the dungeon master’s chamber. Once I was inside, I’d be able to control the entire dungeon from there, and populate it with monsters. Well, by monsters, I meant Sprigian cuties, not gross uglies like that armored bear. At first, I’d only be able to summon Sprigoblin Irregulars.

Sprigoblin Irregulars were special squadrons of monsters that explored the area around a tower dungeon, and brought back food and materials. They were basically scouts. However, once the dungeon became self-sufficient, the Irregulars would usually shift their focus away from gathering items for the dungeon and devote themselves to my protection instead. At least, that was how it worked in the game. If I tried to summon something, would it really appear? If it did respond to my summons, would it listen to me? There was really only one way to find out...

Before I tried summoning anything, though, there was another pressing matter: I needed a bath. Not another quick rinse in the river. A real one.

A few minutes later, I was in the sealed dungeon master chamber. Aside from the mandatory Dungeon Portal, which was used to summon things, there was only one furnishing in the room—Fairy’s Enchanted Bubble Bath. According to the description, the magical bubbles in this warm bath automatically cleansed and revitalized anyone who bathed in it. In the game, I’d mainly used it to replenish health and stamina. Conveniently, it also cleaned itself, so I could jump right in without rinsing off first.

Moments later, I was completely nude. It was my first time seeing Lilac’s naughty bits. In the game, when you stripped all of the clothing off of a character, they still had some plain looking underclothes covering their intimate spots. When I attempted to bathe here, I was a bit surprised to discover that I was actually able to become fully naked. I kept my rings on, but everything else was on the floor.

Whoa, my skin is super smooth—not a freckle or mole in sight. My boobs were way more than a handful for my tiny hands, but I didn’t really have anything else for reference. Even if I wanted to tell you my measurements, I wouldn’t have been able to. I supposed to anyone who was able to peep on me (which I didn’t really think could happen), I would have an amazing assortment of bubbles covering everything important.

During my bath, I took the opportunity to familiarize myself with my new body. My small, callus-free feet that were just as soft as a baby’s, and almost as tiny. My delicate fingers and plump cheeks. Speaking of cheeks, I feel I should mention that Lilac was packing some serious junk in the trunk. I’d made her butt really big in the character creator, because I’d thought it was funny there was even an option for that, but now her comically enormous booty was my problem. Well, it wasn’t really a problem in most ways. There were guys back home who would kill to have a girl with a rear end like mine.

It still felt a bit weird to call this body mine, since it’d originally belonged to Lilac, but I was getting used to the idea of the two of us being one and the same now.

After a long, trauma-healing bath, I changed into a bathrobe and face pack. These had originally been released as a joke, but once I saw what Lilac looked like wearing them on the preview screen, I had to buy them. Tonight, though, I wasn’t wearing them because I needed a laugh; it just felt right to wear them after a bath. I pulled another item out of my inventory, a full length mirror. I was pretty sure it had an effect that let you view places like Way-Point Flowers registered on your map without leaving the dungeon, so it was pretty powerful. In this case, I really just wanted a look at myself. You know, the thing mirrors normally do.

Even with the face pack on, it was obvious. There was no getting around it: The figure staring back at me in the mirror was none other than Lilac Grimwood, my avatar from Questonicia. It was more for confirmation than anything at this point.

The next order of business was to take a nap—I’d had a rough day—so I pulled out another piece of furniture from my inventory. “Fairy’s Grand Canopy Bed” was every bit as luxurious as it sounded. In the game there was no real need for it other than decoration, but I was glad I’d bought it anyway. According to the description, those who slept on it would always have good dreams. I wondered if I’d dream of the family I’d left behind. There was only one way to find out.

Actually, though, speaking of “only one way to find out”...I still need to try summoning some Sprigoblin Irregulars.

It made sense to summon them before I went to sleep, so they could explore and gather materials while I slept. So the next step would be deciding what to wear. After all, it wouldn’t look good for me to meet them in a bathrobe and face pack. It was time to find something regal-looking.

After nearly an hour looking through the outfits in my inventory and trying them on, I found the perfect one for the occasion. (I knew it was close to an hour because I checked the time on my tablet.) Since I was going to be summoning, I chose to wear my “Summoner’s Gown,” a shimmering purple dress with glowing rune patterns. Apparently, wearing this dress when summoning gave the summoned creature a temporary bonus to their stats. You might well ask why I wouldn’t just wear that all the time, but when you realized that it only worked the first time you summoned something, and that anything being summoned for the first time was basically guaranteed to be pretty weak anyway, you’d start to realize it really wasn’t that overpowered. In fact, it was kinda terrible. It was cute though, so it was okay.

Once the Summoner’s Gown was equipped—and I’d given myself a quick once-over in the mirror to ensure maximum cuteness—I approached the Dungeon Portal. Apart from being able to teleport me in and out of the sealed dungeon master room, this portal would allow me to populate my dungeon with creatures. For most creatures, I’d need some materials, but the Sprigoblin Irregulars had no requirements: I could summon them right away, then take a nap while they hunted materials.

I held out my tiny hands, and invoked the summoning. The Dungeon Portal shimmered in response to my efforts...and then they appeared.

I’d been really worried that it might not work here, but there they were—a squad of Sprigoblin Irregulars. There were four of them. Each was actually a bit shorter than I was, with a pleasingly plump round body and an adorable little face. Their light green skin and pointy ears were really the most goblin-like things about them. Well, those and their little underbites with conical teeth jutting out from their lower jaws. They were dressed in comically shaped leather armor, and each had a short sword. Over time, they would each specialize in different weapons, but this was what their default equipment looked like. Mere moments after being summoned, the four of them knelt before me.

Okay, now what? Should I just use the tablet to command them like usual? Should I say something? Would they be able to understand me if I did? In the game, Sprigians had their own language. I’d actually looked into it, to see if I could learn it just for fun, and it’d turned out to be pretty easy. Most of the words were just scrambled English, so it was more of a substitution cipher than a real language. Come to think of it, when I invoked spells, I was speaking Sprigian, wasn’t I? I hadn’t really noticed. Then again, I hadn’t used magic much since I got here. The time with the bear had been without a chant, and the only other time was the summoning invocation just now. Maybe because this was Lilac’s body, it felt pretty natural. It was almost as effortless as breathing.

Okay, I decided. I’ll try talking to them.

“My Irregulars, I command you to go forth and survey the nearby terrain. The area I find myself in is unfamiliar to me, and there seem to be dangerous creatures around. Exercise utmost caution as you survey the surrounding area, and bring back materials for the dungeon.”

Okay, so I put up a front, trying to sound as important as possible. I was absolutely overflowing with royal dignity. There was an awkward pause, and for a moment I was worried they didn’t understand my Sprigian...but then they responded with a unanimous, “Yes, Your Majesty!”

That caught me off guard, but I went with it. More importantly, it sounded like we could all understand each other.

“You’re dismissed; go forth, and return safely!”

“Yes!” the four shouted in unison, and then they were gone.

They teleported out of the room using the Dungeon Portal, and were off to survey the forest for me...which meant it was finally time for bed.

I changed out of my summoner’s gown and into my kitty pajamas. Okay, so officially, the outfit was called a “Faecat Kigurumi Onesie,” but it was basically a fuzzy light blue outfit with a cat theme which covered my whole body. They came in a variety of colors, but this blue one was my favorite, and I’d been dying to wear it for a while. There were built-in kitty paw gloves, but nothing to cover the feet—remember, there’s that whole thing about Sprigians’ feet needing to touch the ground. I zipped it up all the way, then pulled the hood over my head and admired myself in the mirror for a bit. The hood had not only cat ears, but eyes and a nose as well. It was super cute.

Once I was satisfied, I climbed into bed.

I wasn’t sure how long it took me to get to sleep, but considering it was an unfamiliar place with a bed far different from what I was used to sleeping on, I think I went to sleep relatively quickly. I was pretty sure I did have some nice dreams, but unfortunately, I couldn’t remember any of them. I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and renewed. That is, until I saw the alert on my tablet.

I rolled over and picked it up to check the notification: My squad of Sprigoblin Irregulars had been completely wiped out.

Chapter Two: The Adorable Dungeon Master Makes Improvements

It was official: this world wasn’t cute at all! And I was inclined to take that personally. First, I’d run into a hideous bear monster, which I accidentally exploded into bloody confetti—and then my adorable little squad of Irregulars had been obliterated. In the game, Sprigoblin Irregulars came equipped with “Natural Stealth,” a skill that allowed them to avoid unwanted encounters with any monsters or animals in the area. It was very rare for them to be killed by anything but other players. That was why I’d sent my level one squad into the forest so confidently.

The notification didn’t say how they’d died, only that they were wiped out. Hopefully they’d remember what happened after I revived them. I still had far too little information about this place I was in. If they could remember what happened to them, it would make things a lot easier for me.

In the game, Sprigoblin Irregulars were the lifeline of an early-game tower dungeon. Without them, a dungeon master couldn’t gather the materials needed to summon other creatures. To prevent experienced players from bullying newbies, a system had been put in place that gave players whose Irregulars were killed a substantial number of dungeon points, which could be used to strengthen monsters or expand the dungeon. In other words, if someone killed your Irregulars to keep you from gathering resources, you got dungeon points instead. That was why the Irregulars hadn’t revived automatically while I was asleep—there were enough dungeon points to level them up, so the system waited to see if I wanted to do that or not.

The answer to that question was a big fat “yes,” so I upgraded all of my Irregulars to level two. Once the upgrade was complete, they revived automatically, since enough time had already passed.

This time, I was wearing a blue dress called “Monster Tamer’s Gown,” which gave a small bonus to the stats a monster gained when it leveled up. Unlike the bonus from the Summoner’s Gown, this one was permanent, which made the Monster Tamer’s Gown a much better item. It didn’t have any other effects, but it was definitely the best thing to wear when leveling up monsters.

The Irregulars appeared before me, looking exactly as they had the first time. They immediately knelt before me.

“My Irregulars, I am troubled by what befell you. Tell me, do you remember what happened?”

This was the real question. If they had no memories and they acted like freshly summoned monsters, then I wasn’t going to be able to sleep that night after casually sending them to their deaths.

“The mission began as normal, and we went out to gather materials as Your Majesty ordered,” one of them reported. “It was dark outside, but that posed no problem. We gathered a decent amount, but were ambushed by a group of people with swords and axes. They appeared to be Hyumins.”

People? Really? Wow.

“I see,” I said. “This requires further investigation. Return to your duties; I will look into this matter personally.”

The prospect of people was both exciting and terrifying. It was possible they’d mistaken my adorable Irregulars for something more dangerous and launched a preemptive strike, but it was also possible that they were just bad people in general. I had to check.

“Your Majesty, should we not accompany you?” one of the Irregulars asked.

“I’m afraid at your current level, you would only slow me down. It would be far better for me if you simply focused on gathering materials.”

He looked so sad to hear that, but it was true. Still, I wanted to cheer him up.

“What is your name?” I asked.

“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty, but none of us has one.”

Ah perhaps that was insensitive of me. Come to think of it, in the status readout, it just listed them as Irregular A, B, C, and D...

“In that case, from this day forth, you shall be known as Ringo,” I announced. “Take care not to bring shame on this name.”

A look of pure elation flashed across his face, and then, he started glowing. When the light subsided, he looked completely different. He was taller than me now, but not by much. That adorably chubby body had been replaced with proportions similar to my own. He was actually kinda buff.

I quickly took a look at the status screen and found that his stats had nearly quadrupled. It also displayed his name as “Ringo” instead of “Irregular A.” Wait, in most role-playing games, only boss monsters had actual names. By giving him a name, had I inadvertently made him into a boss? Wait, one of my new skills, Ruler’s Blessing, said something about granting titles in the description. Is that what it did? Still, if it had this much of an effect, I wanted to try it on the others.

As the others looked on enviously at Ringo, I clapped my hands to draw their attention.

“I will also bestow names on the rest of you,” I said. I pointed at each of them in turn. “You’ll be Manzana, you’ll be Pomme, and you’ll be Mela.”

I named them all with the word for “apple” from different languages, because those round green bodies reminded me of green apples. Ringo was Japanese, Manzana was Spanish, Pomme was French, and Mela was Italian, but they all meant “apple.”

The other three started to glow as well, and they underwent similar transformations. The biggest difference was that while Manzana looked much like Ringo did, Mela and Pomme were distinctly female, and with attractive proportions. They all still had green skin and light green hair, but they now had limber, muscular bodies. They were all still cute, just in a different way.

Even with their higher stats, though, I still thought they’d slow me down.

“I’m going to investigate the place where you fought,” I told them. “While I am gone, please gather materials. I have the utmost confidence in your ability to carry out the task I have assigned you. Dismissed!”

They still wanted to go with me, I could sense it in their gazes, but I made it clear that wasn’t going to happen. Those resigned yet guilty looks were so sad, I had to try really hard to resist the urge to give in. I wanted to bring smiles to those adorable faces. It took a lot of willpower to stay stoic as I saw them off. If I looked worried as they left, they’d think I didn’t have any faith in their abilities, and I couldn’t let their feelings become any more battered than they already were.

Once they were gone, I left as well. As I left the tower, I activated my Fairy Wings and ascended into the sky. Normally these wings were invisible—or rather, since they were made from my magic, they didn’t exist until I activated the skill. With the skill active, they were on full display, making it easy to spot me in the air. Even as I flew off toward the site of my Irregulars’ ill-fated battle, I could feel their expectant eyes on me. They were well hidden, but they couldn’t hide the feeling I got when they looked at me.

From the air, things looked very different. It was much easier to use the map this way, since I could ignore most obstacles.

I reached the site of the battle, but I wasn’t interested in the site itself. Rather, I wanted information on the people my Irregulars had met. Surveying the area from above, I found what I was looking for: A small clearing in the canopy revealed the remains of a campsite. Without the skills of a forensics expert or a hunter, I couldn’t be completely sure, but it looked like it’d been used recently to me. If they’d camped out here, that meant the nearest human settlement couldn’t be that close. If a town was nearby, they would have just gone back there instead of camping overnight in a scary forest.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any obvious tracks, so I had no idea which way these people had gone after they polished off my Irregulars. Fortunately, I had another option: the “follow the river” strategy. If there were humans around, then it stood to reason that some form of settlement would be relatively close. Flying high above the forest, I searched in every direction but couldn’t find anything that resembled a human settlement. I followed the river, scanning the horizon for any signs of civilization. According to my map, I was heading west. After flying for several minutes, though, I still hadn’t found anything, so I turned back.

If I couldn’t figure out where they came from, I’d just have to lure them to me. Even if I couldn’t capture them, I’d still be able to follow them home if I could lure them out.

If these really were humans, I could think of at least one really easy way to lure them in: the sudden appearance of a huge tower. In other words, it was time to upgrade the dungeon.

Unfortunately, it usually took quite a bit of time to gather the materials for the first dungeon upgrade, but I had a work-around. In the game, there were items to make various time sensitive things happen more quickly. Naturally, these were quite potent when used correctly. However, when I was playing, I was usually focused on Lilac, and how cute she was. I would spend hours dressing her up in little outfits and trying different combinations of accessories. As a result, most of my time skipping items were still in my inventory.

As soon as I returned to the dungeon master’s chamber, I tried one out.

The results were amazing. I could see my team of Irregulars on-screen, moving at dozens of times their usual speed. A few seconds later, the materials I’d been waiting on were delivered. There was a rest period before the Irregulars could go out again, but I shortened that with a speed-up item as well. When I used the speed-up items, they seemed to compress the time around whatever I sped up. The Irregulars still got their whole break, but from my point of view, it happened in seconds rather than hours.

These items were awesome. They wouldn’t last forever if I kept using them at this pace, but they were originally meant to be used. Normally I just preferred to let things that took a long time happen while I was asleep.

I used a few dozen lower-tier time accelerators, then started the upgrades. First, I increased the Irregulars to level three. Next, I added four more floors to the dungeon. Normally, even after you spent the points for the upgrade, the dungeon would take a while to grow, but a few more time-saving items remedied that little problem. With each floor I added, the dungeon expanded, becoming wider and longer as well as taller. Now that there was a five-story-tall tower in the middle of the forest, hopefully I’d draw in some curious humans.

Just drawing them in wouldn’t be any fun, so I summoned a hundred Sprigumdrops and activated a Sprigardener. Sprigumdrops were small, sticky creatures who ranked among the weakest in the game. In Questonicia, players needed to defeat a slime in the wild before they could summon one, but I seemed to already have access to all of my summons from the game. I stationed forty squishy Sprigumdrops on the first floor, twenty on the second, fifteen on the third, fifteen on the fourth, and ten on the fifth. I left the ones on the first floor at level one, but the ones on the second floor were leveled up to level two, the ones on the third were level three, and so on. This was actually really easy to accomplish with the Sprigardener in place.

The Sprigardener was a tower dungeon’s first step to being self-sufficient. It was called a gardener, but it was really more of a farmer. It grew useful materials and automatically deposited them into the material inventory. Thanks to the time accelerators, I’d earned a ton of dungeon points, but I’d spent nearly all of them on upgrades. The Sprigardener would help me passively recover the points I’d spent.

Since the Sprigardener grew things, its domain was the roof of the tower. On a hunch, I paid it a visit. I hadn’t added a staircase that led to the roof, so I flew up there instead. The creature in question was a huge sentient treelike creature, but instead of having a gnarled wooden face like similar creatures from other games, it had a cute, feminine face with huge eyes. I approached the Sprigardener from the air. It noticed me, and it smiled as I landed in front of it.

“Oh, Your Majesty! Welcome! What can I do for you today?” Like my other minions, it was speaking Sprigian.

“To thank you for your hard work, I’ve decided to give you a name. From this day forward, you will be Maple!”

At my declaration, Maple’s body began glowing, and just like the Irregulars, she transformed. This change was much more striking, though. Instead of a tree, there was a large flower blossom, with a sort of stem extending from it that connected to Maple’s main body. Her actual body had amazing proportions, just like my other female minions. Instead of just being a tree trunk with a face, the new and improved Maple had arms and legs, not to mention curves in all the right places. She had dark brown skin, bright green hair, and pointed ears. The tether that connected her to the flower was connected to her main body just above her butt, so it looked like a tail.

Now that she had a proper body, Maple knelt in front of me. With the upgrade she’d gotten from being named, Maple was able to produce materials (and dungeon points) more quickly, and they were higher quality as well. This would increase the efficiency of my first dungeon in this new world at least five-fold.

“I will do my utmost to prove worthy of the name I’ve been given, as I continue to serve you,” she pledged.

“I’m counting on it,” I replied.

From Another Point of View Part 1: Hegram

On the orders of Duke Finlaud, the king’s older brother, my companions and I set out on an expedition. Our objective was to explore and evaluate the Grimwood region and determine how viable it would be to create a settlement there.

The Grimwood region extended across the northern border of the country of Doma, which made up the entire southern tip of the continent. Numerous smaller countries lay to the north of the forest, but because the Grimwood was considered exceedingly dangerous, none had ever made an attempt to settle it. In fact, most here in Doma seemed to think that the terrifying creatures that infested the woods served as an effective deterrent against war.

The duke struck me as a man of great ambition. I was sure he sought the great renown that would come with such an expansion, but who would he ever get to live there? Unless the entirety of the forest were destroyed, and all the hostile creatures living within perished, nobody would ever feel safe there. Our band of mercenaries was rated highly by the association, but parties like ours were uncommon. You’d never find enough people with our strength to populate a whole village. But regardless, I was happy to take the money that was offered, so I kept my doubts about the mission to myself.

At first, the expedition went much as expected. It took more than three days to travel to the Grimwood on foot. Horses would’ve made the journey faster, but we wouldn’t have had any way to keep them for the journey home. Traveling on foot also cut down on the provisions we could carry, but we managed as best we could.

By the end of the fifth day, we were deep within the Grimwood. We made camp for the night, and I happened to be on watch. I heard a subtle noise from an area not too far away, so I roused my fellows. Once we were all awake and armed, we set out to investigate the noise I’d heard.

We encountered a group of strange creatures, moving stealthily through the forest. They were short, green, and pudgy. To put it bluntly, they looked a bit like exceptionally rotund goblins. Average goblins generally didn’t appear in the Grimwood, but occasionally advanced species would migrate there in search of better prey. Unlike ordinary goblins, the creatures we observed seemed to be wearing armor and carrying decent weapons, but there were only four of them, so we had them outnumbered.

I silently signaled my fellows, and we ambushed them. Just like goblins, they proved quite weak—perhaps too weak to survive on their own in these woods. Did they normally get by with stealth? When I struck the first fatal blow, the creature I was fighting vanished into tiny specks of light. Nothing was left behind. I turned to observe the rest of the battle, and the other three creatures vanished in exactly the same way when they were defeated.

I’d never heard of such goblins appearing in the Grimwood before, and I’d never heard of any monster just vanishing into twinkling light when it was killed. I worried that this was an ominous sign of things to come. If these were illusions, they were on a different level than any I’d seen before, and the caster must have still been around somewhere. Creatures that could create illusions or cause hallucinations were rare, and always problematic.

Even if those creatures really were some other species, something told me we hadn’t seen the last of them. But my fellows seemed to be in high spirits, so I kept my concerns to myself. It seemed I was the only one who thought much of the way the creatures had disappeared. It also concerned me that they’d obtained weapons and armor from somewhere. I’d never seen a goblin wear armor before, and when they did have weapons, they usually weren’t maintained very well. Goblins typically looted weapons from people unfortunate enough to fall in battle against them, but didn’t know how to take care of them properly. It was common to see goblin weapons covered in rust and dents.

The way those creatures carried themselves, on the other hand, was frighteningly similar to the way humans did. Their weapons, while not amazing, were at least decently maintained. Considering the odd shape of their bodies, their armor couldn’t have been left behind by any unfortunate human warriors. Who would make armor for such creatures? Did they have their own settlement in the area? The longer I thought about it, the more questions arose.

My men were much more carefree. They easily accepted all the strangeness and went about their business. We broke camp at dawn, and continued deeper into the forest.

During the sixth day of the expedition, we came across the remains of an armed bear. These were regarded as one of the most dangerous creatures in the Grimwood. With their durable armor-like hides and their knifelike claws, they were a threat even to seasoned warriors like us. As to why they were called “armed bears,” and not “armored bears,” there was an old story about how they got their name. From a distance, they looked very much like humans wearing armor. A scout for a large military expedition into the Grimwood reported seeing a group of “armed men” in the forest. When this military faction surrounded the “armed men” and tried to confront them, one of the soldiers yelled out, “Those aren’t armed men, they’re armed bears!” The name stuck.

These remains, however, were completely inexplicable. It looked as though the creature had been blasted apart somehow. What could have happened? There were bits and pieces of it everywhere, almost as if something inside of it had exploded. If there was something in the Grimwood that could do this to an armed bear, humans would never be able to conquer this place.

In the afternoon, one of the men spotted something completely unexpected.

“Hegram!” he called out. “Take a look at that!”

I peered through the gap in the forest canopy he was pointing through, and I must admit, I couldn’t contain my shock.

“A tower?”

There had never been any reports of any sort of structure being found in the Grimwood. If these were some sort of ruins from a long-extinct civilization, it would be an unprecedented discovery. What unknown treasures might lurk inside? Valuable artifacts, jewelry, ancient weapons forged with lost techniques from precious metals... Even the building itself could potentially hold some value if it could be repurposed for military use. With these possibilities in mind, we set out for the mysterious tower.

It took just under an hour to reach the base of the tower, but I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. It was unlike any human architecture. There were no bricks, nails, or any other signs of human construction. It was almost as though the tower had simply grown that way. It really did resemble a tree in a number of ways. The rest of the group seemed eager to explore the interior, though, so I set aside my misgivings once again.

Inside, the layout seemed to be designed to confuse and disorient visitors. Could this have been some sort of fortification? As we looked around, I noticed that there were strange glowing fixtures in the ceiling that made it surprisingly bright. We wouldn’t need to bring torches.

Gunzar, our scout, spotted something moving, and we prepared for battle. The creature in question seemed to be made of some sort of slime. It had a semicylindrical body, and a pair of round black eyes. It seemed aggressive, but it was so weak that you couldn’t really call its pathetic lunges attacks. One of the men sliced it in half, and it disappeared into flecks of light just as the strange goblins had. Were those other creatures connected to this place? But before I could think much harder about the situation, we discovered many more of the slime-like creatures lurking in the corridors.

After killing around forty of the little blobs, we discovered a staircase leading to the floor above. It didn’t appear to be old or rotten, so we decided to climb up. There were more of the little blobs on the next floor. I may have been imagining it, but it seemed that these were more powerful than the ones on the ground floor. Perhaps we were just tired.

We made our way through the winding halls, and fought around twenty more of the creatures before we found another staircase. Thinking back on what had happened when we entered the second floor. I suggested that we take a break before exploring the third. We sat down to rest for a few minutes and shared our thoughts. Morale was high; the men were excited about the potential discoveries awaiting us. After our short respite, we ascended the stairs to the third floor.

It wasn’t my imagination. The creatures on the third floor were much stronger than the ones on the first floor had been. They all looked the same, but there was a clear difference in the way they fought. The strength difference wasn’t enough to make us struggle, but it did catch us by surprise. They were faster, hit harder, and were more difficult to kill, but fortunately there were fewer of them. I’d say we killed around fifteen of them before we found the next staircase.

I cautioned the men to be prepared for a tougher fight as we ascended the stairs to the fourth floor, and I was correct to do so. We kept a tight defensive formation as we fought the creatures on the fourth floor. Unfortunately, even though there were just as many of them as there had been on the previous floor, the fourth floor was much smaller than the rest, so we encountered enemies far more frequently. By the time we reached the stairs, the men were eager for a little rest. If this pattern continued, we could be in for a much more serious battle on the fifth floor.

As we sat there, I did my best to keep up morale, fully aware that the next floor could prove dangerous if we weren’t careful. We ate some of our provisions, stretching out the break a bit longer. Nothing attacked us while we waited there.

I wondered if each group of monsters had claimed a specific floor as their own territory. Perhaps they preferred high places, so only the strongest of them could live on the highest floor...

I sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case.

We were thrust into combat the moment we arrived on the fifth floor. There were ten of them this time, and it seemed almost like they had been waiting for us. Even though we were outnumbered two to one, the men performed admirably. These were indeed stronger opponents than the ones on the fourth floor, but the difference wasn’t that substantial. In truth, I was afraid there might be an even greater monster among them, but my fears proved to be unfounded. The battle was fierce, but I’m happy to say we didn’t lose a single man as we whittled away the enemy forces.

With all ten defeated, I silently prayed that the worst was over. If there was a stronger monster that ruled over all of these, it might be able to inflict some serious damage on our group.

I couldn’t help but think back to the remains of that armed bear we found.

Our search continued. We entered a large, open area. Most of the tower was made up of somewhat narrow hallways that made it difficult to fight, so this was a nice change of pace. In the middle of the room was a single wooden chest, trimmed with what appeared to be brass. The wood was stained a beautiful deep red color. The men were beside themselves with excitement. I must admit, I allowed myself to get a bit caught up in the moment as well. Here was a reward for our trials. We all gathered around to see what treasure might be inside.

The chest didn’t seem to be locked, and there were no signs of traps, so Gunzar, our scout, opened it without hesitation. Inside were ten identical bottles made of blue glass, filled with some sort of liquid. Each bottle had a stopper, presumably to keep the contents fresh and contained. All of us were puzzled. Gunzar passed two of them to each of us, but as he removed the last two for himself, we heard a soft click, followed by a loud metallic clang.

The chest was booby-trapped! We hadn’t encountered any traps so far, and there were no mechanisms on the lid, so Gunzar had thought it was safe. It turned out the bottom of the chest was rigged with some sort of mechanism designed to spring the trap when the contents were removed. Unfortunately, the loud clang we heard was the sound of some sturdy looking metal bars dropping from the ceiling. Those same bars now prevented our escape.

We were trapped.

Chapter Three: The Adorable Dungeon Master Takes Prisoners

They actually showed up! Five whole real live humans! I’d hoped the tower wouldn’t be too difficult for them. The layout was a total maze, but the monsters were easy, and there was really only one trap.

You might be wondering why I didn’t want the tower to be too difficult, but it was really very simple. In most other dungeon master simulator games, you gained resources for your dungeon by defeating adventurers who came to plunder it. This was true of Questonicia as well, but keep in mind that those other games tended to only have a single player. Since Questonicia was an online multiplayer game, the people coming to explore your dungeon were other players. If more experienced players flooded their dungeons with powerful monsters that could defeat anyone who entered the maze, new players would feel overwhelmed and quit.

Questonicia solved this problem by giving dungeon masters points when their monsters were killed, and when the dungeon’s treasure chests were opened. The higher a monster’s level, the more points you got when it was defeated. Since the points you got from defeated low-level players were worth way less than what a successful dungeon run could earn you, most people who built dungeons had at least a few that catered to newbies. It wasn’t uncommon to see Sprigian players with a series of interconnected dungeons that got progressively more difficult as you went. You could even put a teleportation circle at the top of one tower that led to the bottom floor of the next one.

In order to entice players to search your dungeons, you could set up treasure chests, which would automatically fill themselves with items of your choosing. You could also set the chest to dispense random items, but there were limits. There were rules on what items could be placed in treasure chests based on the point value of all the monsters between the dungeon entrance and the chest in question. This time, I filled the chest with ten low potions. In the game, low potions were one of the worst items, recovering a measly twenty health. Only new players would be grateful to receive one. But that was in the game. What if the people here didn’t have anything like them yet? Oh, and don’t worry: The items in question didn’t come out of my own inventory. After all, dungeon masters couldn’t loot items from chests in their own dungeons. They also couldn’t deal damage to any of their own dungeon monsters. I’d tested both of these rules, and they still held true here.

I could have filled the chest with crystals, Questonicia’s currency, but after the encounter with that huge, bearlike creature, I was really starting to doubt that this was the world of the game I was familiar with. Crystals looked pretty, but I kinda doubted anyone from this world would be super excited to get them. It would be one thing if I made sure to not give out too many at once, and kept them rare—then I could artificially increase their rarity, like diamonds. Unfortunately, though, when you placed crystals in a chest, the dungeon always dispensed the maximum amount. After just a few dungeon runs, they’d be pretty common.

Since I placed the chest at the end, the items I could put in it were based on the combined point values of the Sprigumdrops between the chest and the entrance. Even if there were a hundred of them, Sprigumdrops weren’t exactly worth a ton of points, even at level five. With a single chest, I was pretty limited on what items I could add. Sorry, fellas, no legendary sword this time.

I wasn’t sure what kind of magic or technology was available here in this world yet, so I decided not to go with early game weapons or anything dangerous. Besides, if I gave them better weapons and armor, they might use them to hurt people. Potions could only be helpful, and they were my only other noncombat option besides crystals. There was really no other choice.

In that moment, I didn’t really think about how potions might work differently if this wasn’t the world of Questonicia, or consider that if the people of this world were all equal to low-level characters in the game, then those potions would actually be pretty good. I’m not that smart.

My human visitors made their way through the labyrinth at a decent pace. Seeing how easy the first floor was for them made me wish I’d used more time accelerators to level up more Sprigumdrops, but I supposed I’d rather be safe than sorry. Ideally, when you designed a dungeon, you wanted the monsters to be both easy enough for visitors to defeat and strong enough to be worth a lot of dungeon points when they were defeated. Finding that delicate balance was difficult. At most, a tower dungeon could have a hundred floors, so if I kept this pattern up, the monsters on the highest floor would be level 100. That might sound like a lot, but in Questonicia, a level 100 player was still considered a beginner. I’d been playing for five years, so my level was in the quadruple digits.

It looked like the second floor was still pretty easy for them. Ideally, they’d defeat all of the Sprigumdrops, and then kindly fall into the cleverly disguised trap I’d set up at the end. My aim here wasn’t to hurt them, but to learn from them.

As I watched them on the tablet, I could hear their shouts and conversations. They definitely weren’t speaking any language I’d ever heard before. If they got caught in my little trap at the end, I could safely approach them and try to communicate.

Looking at their combat abilities, I’d probably be safe even if I approached them right now, but if they attacked me, I might end up defending myself, and that could get messy. Yeah, I’d really rather not have to go through that. Just thinking about what I’d done to that armor-plated bear happening to a real person was sickening enough to turn my stomach.

Speaking of stomachs...I haven’t mentioned yet what I’d been eating since I arrived here. It turned out Sprigians were frugivores, meaning they could only eat things like fruits and nuts. The Irregulars (Team Apple) and the Sprigardener (Maple) gathered and produced lots of fruit for the dungeon’s inhabitants. I had a ton of food items in my inventory that offered various benefits, so I usually tried to eat those, but sometimes a bit of fresh fruit really hit the spot.

I wondered if being adorable meant I had a natural fondness for sweet things... Well, I guess certain nuts, roots, and tubers could be included in Sprigian diets as well, so maybe not.

Anyway, the human group finished their break and headed up to the third floor. It looked like they’d realized the monsters there were stronger, but they still weren’t really having any trouble. I wondered what level they were. I didn’t have a way to check, but based on how little difficulty they were having here, I’d put them all at least level eight. Thank goodness I hadn’t overestimated them and filled the first floor with level twenty enemies. Yup, it was always best to set the bar low at the start for things like this. If they’d gotten killed because of a mistake like that, I would have felt really bad about it.

Realistically, I probably would’ve tried to convince myself that they deserved it for bullying my Irregulars, but my minions had returned to me, so it wasn’t really the same.

Oh, looks like they’re going to the fourth floor now. I gotta say, these guys have guts. I mean, they realized the monsters are getting stronger every floor, and they’re unaware that I don’t want to kill them, but they’re still pushing forward anyway. It’s kinda admirable, you know?

The visitors seemed to handle the monsters on the fourth floor okay, which was a relief. If they really are around level eight, then they shouldn’t have any problems with the next floor either. It looked like I could expect good returns on my investment. I’d already picked up a significant quantity of dungeon points, so I looked forward to adding another floor or two after they finished.

Oh, they’re stopping to eat. Good idea. Best not to rush in if you’re tired. The layout on the fifth floor isn’t complicated, but the monsters are all in one place, and they’re level five, so it’ll be tough for you guys.

I ate a piece of fruit while I watched them eat. Maybe I didn’t want to feel left out. As they ate and talked, I paid a lot of attention to what they said and the context in which they said it. Obviously I still couldn’t understand them, but I was looking for context clues. If you were around people who spoke a different language long enough, and you paid close enough attention, you’d eventually start to pick it up. In language learning, that process is called immersion. As an immigrant to this new world, I needed to learn to communicate with the people here. As the proud owner of a tower full of monsters, being able to explain myself and my motives would become a vital skill. My tablet was actually recording their conversation in the chat log as well, so I could go over it again later.

Looks like break time is over—they’re heading upstairs now.

The moment of truth arrived. They just needed to beat ten level five Sprigumdrops, open the treasure chest, and trigger the trap I’d set.

This looked pretty tough for them, but they had a solid defensive formation. Good thing I’d given them more room to work with. If they’d been ambushed in a narrower space, they wouldn’t have been able to form ranks like that. I’d have to keep things like that in mind.

I wondered if this was about average strength for the people here. If there are any people way stronger than this, I’d like them to give my tower a try. I’ll put better stuff in the treasure chests if that happens, I promise!

Oh, they did it!

The group of humans finally defeated the last of my squishy little minions and moved on to eagerly inspecting the treasure chest. They seemed a bit perplexed when they finally opened the lid. I wondered if they already had anything like healing potions in this world. If they didn’t, then this little discovery of theirs could net them a small fortune. Then, when they told people about it, I’d get more visitors. Maybe even some stronger ones. I could hardly wait.

It looked like they were splitting the loot evenly among the members, even if they didn’t know exactly what it was. As they took the last bottle out, my devious little trap activated, and they were captured without incident. I was so pleased with myself I couldn’t help but let out an adorable “Woo-hoo!”

I gathered the Irregulars and went to greet my guests. The Irregulars took point, swords at the ready. As we approached, I tried to get them to act less hostile, but I supposed from their perspective these guys had ambushed them. I’d probably be on guard too if it were me. Even though I already explained the situation to them, and our “enemies” were safely behind bars, Team Apple was still ready for battle.

By the way, wasn’t “Team Apple” just the cutest little nickname for them? Since all of their names meant apple in different languages, it was just perfect. You can shower me with praise, I really outdid myself. At that point, I only called them Team Apple in my head, since none of them knew the meaning behind it, but I still enjoyed it.

The group of humans heard us as we climbed the stairs to the fifth floor. On my tablet, I watched them get up and ready their weapons. This was a critical first impression, so I wanted my entrance to be fabulous. I was wearing a shimmering silver dress with a flowery vibe. Floral-themed dresses like this one were common Sprigian wardrobe options. I even used my “Enchanted Cosmetics” for this, so I looked absolutely stunning. Enchanted Cosmetics were technically a piece of equipment, so they were easy to apply and remove, but they didn’t have any real effects other than making me look devastatingly charming.

This dress in particular was called “Silver Rose,” which did a really good job of describing it. On the left side of the chest, there was a cluster of silvery, roselike ornaments, which made the whole gown look like an enchanted flower garden. The dress also literally gave off light, so it really brightened up a dimly lit dungeon. In a situation like this, it was a surefire way to get their attention. Since it was meant for dungeon exploration, this dress also had really nice defensive values, as well as immunity against corrosion and poison, so it was practical as well.

My Irregulars entered first. Our human prisoners were clearly wary of them; I could hear their alarmed shouts from the stairway. Team Apple formed a barrier of sorts in front of me, so the humans didn’t see me as I ascended the remaining stairs. After all, each of my Irregulars was just a bit taller than I was. Once I was safely on the fifth floor, Team Apple moved aside, two of them on each side of me. The humans stared at me blankly, clearly in awe of my unsurpassed charm. I gave them a moment to collect themselves.

Then, I tried to communicate.

“Buenas tardes.”

I started with Spanish, because the language these guys were speaking sounded a bit like Latin. Unfortunately, the humans just stared at me incredulously.

“Good afternoon.”

Same blank, uncomprehending stares.

“Konnichiwa.”

I was beginning to feel awkward and embarrassed, but I kept going no matter how hot my cheeks felt.

“Guten Tag.”

“Ciao.”

“Ni hao.”

“Bonjour.”

“Lohel.”

“Ola.”

No matter which greeting I used, there was no real discernible response. Not even a hint of comprehension. I used every single greeting I could think of, in every language I could speak even a little of. If any of the languages I knew had a similar counterpart in this world, and one of them could speak it, we’d be able to communicate much more easily. Unfortunately, things didn’t go so smoothly. When none of them responded to a single thing I said, I moved on to the next plan.

In my previous life, I was studying to be an interpreter, but I hadn’t just wanted to translate English to Spanish and vice versa. The more languages an interpreter could speak, read, and write fluently, the more work they could get. In the best cases, they could become an official interpreter for a head of state. In other words, not only had I studied multiple languages, but I’d studied the very concept of language itself—how people learned it, the way it developed, and how it changed.

By the time I died, I could already speak English, Spanish, French, German, and Portuguese fluently, and knew at least a handful of words and useful phrases in about twenty other languages. I was confident that with enough time, I could learn this new language through immersion.

That was the problem, though. This clever little trap I devised had a time limit. To avoid situations where new players got stuck and couldn’t exit a dungeon, if a player was caught in a movement-restricting trap like this for longer than thirty minutes, they would automatically be warped back to the entrance. Players could also use an item or skill to return to their home point, or a nearby Way-Point Flower, but the punishment was ultimately the same: They would be forced out of the dungeon. Unfortunately, I didn’t want that to happen this time. In this situation, I was just trying to open a meaningful dialogue.

“Lilac Grimwood,” I said, and I put my hand over my own heart in an attempt to convey that I was introducing myself. Then I motioned toward my guards, and introduced them each in turn. Then I waited, to see what they would do.

Most of them just stared blankly, but the older guy seemed to get it.

“Hegram,” he said, with his hand over his own heart.

I said “older guy,” but he wasn’t a senior citizen or anything; he looked like he was only in his early to mid-thirties. Unlike the others, who all had stubble on their faces, this guy had a nice, clean shave. His blond hair was cut super short too. He really seemed like the military type. I wondered if soldiers in this place got buzz cuts like they did back home. Anyway, he was tall and well-built, and he wore leather armor with metal plates attached in strategic locations.

Oh yeah, and he and the other humans were all twice as tall as I was. Seriously. Not exaggerating here. Either they were huge, or I was tiny. I’d already suspected that I was smaller than I was in my previous life, but was I really the size of a small child in this world? I had no idea. When I first saw them on the tablet, I hadn’t realized the scale was so different. My poor Irregulars must have been so scared being ambushed by these guys—at the time they’d been even shorter than I was.

Anyway the introductions continued.

“Gunzar,” Hegram, motioning toward the smallest member of their group.

When I say “smallest,” of course, I don’t mean anywhere near as short as I was. He just wasn’t as robust as the other guys, and not as tall. He wore a brown bandana over his dark hair, and leather armor with no metal plates. Since he carried a short sword and a dagger, he seemed like the type who prioritized quickness and stealth over raw power and defense. He was the guy who’d opened the rigged chest earlier, so I felt a little guilty for tricking him.

“Roban.”

This time, Hegram gestured toward the largest member of their group, a man wearing leather armor whose long, light brown hair hung down almost to his shoulders. It was clear he wasn’t really interested in taking care of it. He had a thick layer of stubble—well, everyone besides Hegram was sporting at least a five o’clock shadow, but this guy almost had a full beard going on. The rest of his body was pretty hairy too. He was very well-built, but the body hair was such a difference from what you usually saw on muscular guys back home, where bodybuilders and such usually shaved or waxed their body hair to show off their muscles better. Not this guy, though. He had a really strong jawline, almost as pronounced as in a certain internet meme. When he was fighting, he swung around a big double bladed battle axe with only one hand. He seemed like the type of guy who was really confident in his strength, and used brute force to accomplish his goals. That was just the vibe I got from him.

“Degon. Shuzarl.”

Finally, Hegram gestured toward each of the remaining two members in turn. Unfortunately, the two of them looked very similar to each other... Not that they were identical twins or anything, but they could have been brothers. Average height (by the standards of my previous life, I guess), slightly built, dark brown hair, leather armor with metal plates. They even wore matching helmets. They were the open-faced kind, with the almost conical top. The sides were made of leather, but the top part was metal. Yeah, I was absolutely sure I was going to mix these two guys up constantly.

Come to think of it, though, they probably thought the same thing about the Irregulars. Mela and Pomme were almost identical to one another, and the same could be said for the boys. Ringo and Manzana were almost twins. Right now, I had one of each pair on either side of me, but if our relationship with these humans lasted a long time, they’d probably be confused just as easily.

Maybe I’d talk to the girls later about changing up the way they did their hair. That way, it’d be easier for outsiders to tell them apart. As for the boys, I’d have to set up an outfitter and get them different sets of armor, so they’d at least be dressed differently. Okay, now I’m excited about giving my Irregulars makeovers... Gotta focus on the task at hand.

When you were trying to communicate with someone, and neither of you spoke the other person’s language, gestures were your best friend. Unlike games where you acted out certain things and your team tried to guess what you’re doing, with someone who didn’t speak your language it was harder to confirm that the other party understood.

The first thing I wanted to convey was that I didn’t mean to harm them. After all, I did trap them, but only to force a conversation. My goal was to learn their language. The best way to learn a new language is through immersion—by being around people who use it. By seeing and hearing how others use words, and in what context, we could adapt and learn that language ourselves. Unfortunately, the process generally took a while, and I couldn’t just keep these guys prisoner until I made progress. Okay, I could try to do that, but it’d be cruel. I planned to release them once they understood we meant no harm.

I asked the two pairs of Irregulars with me to pantomime aggression toward each other, then put away their weapons and shake hands. Once they completed my request, I checked the humans for signs of understanding.

Hegram seemed to understand; he offered his hand through the bars. His hand was way bigger than mine, but I reached out and shook it gently anyway. Once I was convinced things would remain peaceful, I took out my tablet and used it to remove the bars that blocked their escape. The other humans hurried to their feet, but Hegram yelled something at them, and they all moved more slowly. He must have told them to avoid making any sudden moves that might alarm us. What a good commander.

I led the group out of the tower, and used the points I’d gained (and some wait-time reducing items) to add two more floors. As the new floors were added, the tower expanded outward as well. The humans were pretty alarmed.

I used the dungeon master functions to add a map of the surrounding area on the outside of the tower, right next to the entrance. The map was essentially part of the wall. The tower’s position was marked on the map. Once the humans were all outside, all of the monsters in the tower were able to spawn again. I went ahead and leveled up all of the Sprigumdrops on the first floor to level two, then moved five of them to the sixth floor and raised them to level six. Next, I summoned a Sprigrizzly, which didn’t look as fearsome as its name implied—it was essentially a giant living teddy bear. I made some changes to the layout to accommodate the new floors, then removed the trap from the fifth floor and refilled the chest. This time, I put a safe zone around the chest that would give them a place to take a break, even with monsters around.

I placed the Sprigrizzly on the seventh floor all by itself, to guard a new chest. The new chest contained a steel shield, which would help them out on future runs.

Now I just had to get them to go back into the dungeon. I motioned toward the door in an inviting way, hoping they would get the hint. They were confused at first, but Hegram was pretty quick on the uptake, as always. Eventually, they ventured back into the tower.

From Another Point of View Part 2: Gunzar

Ever since I became a mercenary, I’d prided myself on my ability to locate traps and render them harmless. At some point the other guys all started to rely on my skills and intuition. I knew I couldn’t hit as hard in battle as the others, but I made up for it with my sharp eyes and ears.

When the boss came to us with our latest job, I gotta admit I was worried. Oh, by boss, I mean our leader, Hegram. He was a big guy, probably former military from somewhere—nobody in the group knew except him. In our line of work, it was taboo to ask about another mercenary’s past. Nobody wound up in this profession without going through something pretty awful first. There might be a few naive kids that came through every now and then, thinking there was some sort of fame or glory involved, but once they got a feel for how rough it was, they always quit real quick.

This job in the Grimwood region had a reputable client, but the type of job wasn’t my forte. Sure, I could detect monsters and animals nearby and alert my fellows, but the dense growth would make it tougher. I felt much more at home in a ruin rigged with traps than in a dense forest. The rest of the guys were really enthusiastic about it though, so we took the job. The pay was good, but I felt like our objective was too vague. Scout the Grimwood, and determine if a suitable place to build a settlement existed... The Grimwood was absolutely huge—on the northern side, it bordered more than half a dozen different countries. Not only that, it was full of dangerous creatures. I felt like we could save a lot of time by just telling the duke that nobody in their right mind would ever want to live out there.

Since horses would be useless in the forest, we went on foot. It took a few days just to reach the edge of the forest. That’s how far away everyone lived from it—settlements any closer than that risked being attacked by hungry monsters. Everything went as expected, meaning we were attacked nearly constantly by terrifying creatures, until we ran into these little round goblins. They had decent gear, which regular goblins never carried, and when we defeated them, they disappeared into little showers of light.

That was only the beginning of the weirdness. After that, we ended up finding a tower in the middle of the woods.

It didn’t look right at all. It was unnatural—or maybe too natural. There were no seams or joints. Instead of being built from stone or timber, it looked like it just grew out of the ground on its own. The other guys wanted to go in, and honestly, I figured I’d be more useful in there than outside, so I agreed.

The whole place was full of these squishy little monsters that made squeaking noises when they launched themselves at you. The ones on the first floor weren’t anything special, but the higher we went, the stronger they got. By the time we got to the fifth floor, we were all feeling pretty drained. Luckily there were way fewer monsters on the fifth floor than on the previous floors, and after we defeated them all, we found a chest. It was the type of chest you might see in a rich person’s home. The sight of it really sparked the imagination. Would we find gold inside? Jewelry? Works of art? Those were the types of thoughts running through our heads. I checked for traps, but there were no signs of hidden mechanisms.

When I opened the lid, though, there were no jewels, coins, clothes, paintings, or any of the other things we were hoping for. What we found instead were ten little bottles made of some kind of blue glass. The uniform nature of the bottles and the detailed carvings on them made me suspect right away that they could fetch a high price on the secondary market. They each held some sort of liquid, which I think we all sincerely hoped was booze. I started handing the bottles out to the others. There were ten of them, so that meant two for each of us. Easy to divide up.

Since there weren’t any traps in the rest of the building, and the lid to the chest wasn’t rigged at all, I let my guard down.

As I lifted the last bottle out of the chest, I heard something shift, followed by a loud clang as the only viable way in or out of the room was suddenly blocked by a sturdy-looking set of metal bars. We were trapped.

Needless to say, the others weren’t happy, and much of their anger was directed toward me.

“How did you miss that?!”

“So much for Gunzar’s intuition.”

“Maybe these bottles are full of poison, so we can kill ourselves before we starve to death.”

“There’s gotta be another way out—start lookin’, ya morons!”

I gotta admit, it was a blow to my confidence. Being berated like that made it feel even worse. Luckily, the boss got everyone back on task.

“Calm yourselves, men,” Hegram told us. “We’re not beaten yet. Search the room for a way to disable the trap. Be thorough.”

We all followed his orders. As we felt the walls and floor for a hidden switch, I heard someone approaching.

“Footsteps!” I warned the others. “Someone’s coming!”

We got ready for a fight.

The figures that entered the room defied explanation. There were four of them, two men and two women, but they weren’t human. They were short and green, like goblins—but way prettier. They didn’t have the long, warty noses and huge tattered ears one normally saw on a goblin. In fact, they reminded me more of the group of little round guys we’d killed; their armor and weapons were nearly identical.

I broke into a cold sweat. What if they set up this trap to get revenge for their fellows? I looked around the room, and it seemed like the others had come to the same conclusion. Panic was starting to set in.

That’s when she showed up.

She was shorter than the rest of them, so we didn’t see her behind them at first. I didn’t hear her on the stairs either. She had perfectly smooth brown skin, devoid of any freckles or blemishes. Her hair was glossy, and a beautiful light purple color. Those eyes of hers were otherworldly, a sort of gray color that looked like they were filled with twinkling stars. She had the body proportions of a child, as far as her arms and legs went, but then her chest... That wasn’t something you saw on a little girl. By human standards, I supposed she was bigger than most, but compared to the rest of her body, she was incredibly busty. She was wearing an absolutely gorgeous silver dress, but it couldn’t hide those. They were completely covered, but that only made them more enticing.

We’d been out in the wilderness for almost a week, so it had been days since any of us had seen a woman. The two green girls were cute too, but nothing like this woman.

I realized I was holding my breath, but I couldn’t bear to exhale just yet. The little green people moved aside to let the newcomer through, and she started speaking.

She said a bunch of short sentences, maybe one or two words each, but none of us understood a thing she said. Her voice was lyrical and charming, though. I’d never heard a cuter one. I suppose some people would have called it high-pitched, and they might have been annoyed by it, but I thought it was lovely.

As she spoke, the scent of flowers wafted into the room, replacing the musty stink of sweaty men. There were little silver flowers on her dress—was the smell from them, or was it her own natural scent? The way she spoke had a sort of hypnotic rhythm to it. She kept saying something, then looking at our faces to gauge our reactions, then trying another word.

Wait, were each of these words or phrases greetings in different languages?

Just how many languages did she speak?

Everyone just stared at her with vacant looks on our faces. Finally, she seemed to give up on greeting us.

“Lilac Grimwood,” she said with her hand over her heart.

Was that her name? Wait, Grimwood? Like the forest? Was she claiming to be the sovereign of the entire Grimwood region? That huge expanse of trees that bordered at least eight countries, and even had its own little mountain range—that Grimwood? If so, this was huge. It would completely change our understanding of this forest.

A sovereign ruler would also put a damper on the duke’s plans to colonize the area. If he wanted the land, he might have to deal with a whole army to get it. She wasn’t like the other monsters that lived here; she was smart, really smart. Personally, though, I’d thought that the duke’s plan of colonizing the forest was stupid from the start, so no big loss there from my perspective.

Little Miss Grimwood had her guards put on a little pantomime show to convey that they meant no harm. Most of us didn’t get it at first, but Hegram figured out what it meant. He shook hands with the little lady, and a few moments later, we were free. Turns out there wasn’t any hidden switch. She pulled out some sort of magical slate and poked it a few times, and then the bars disappeared.

She led us out of the tower, guards in tow. Then she took out her magic item again, and poked it a few more times. After that, the tower got bigger almost instantly. Yeah, I didn’t understand what happened either. It just grew, right before our eyes, like a huge hollow tree. We all stood there gawking at it, but the little lady seemed to want us to go back inside.

When we went back in, the monsters from earlier had returned. We looked at her for permission, and she nodded, so we set to work exterminating them again. The halls were noticeably wider this time, and the monsters on the first floor seemed a bit tougher than last time. The little lady and her guards followed along as we went through the tower, but when we got to the fifth floor, the layout was different. The monsters weren’t all in a huge group this time—they were more spread out, which made it a lot easier. There was also another chest.

I examined the chest warily, and then the little miss started gesturing. I figured she was trying to let us know that the chest wasn’t rigged with a trap like the last time. There were ten more little bottles inside, just like before, but no trap triggered when I pulled out the last one.

We took a break to eat, and the little lady seemed really interested in hearing us talk, even though she couldn’t understand what we were saying.

“This sure is a weird situation,” Degon said.

I was inclined to agree.

“Yeah, but I bet these little bottles will sell well,” said Shuzarl hopefully.

“Forget the bottles, how about the tits on that girl,” Roban said. “She’s absolutely stacked!” He wasn’t one to hold back—he spoke his mind and he was used to getting what he wanted.

“Roban, that’s rude,” Hegram warned him. “Save that sort of talk for later.”

“Ah, what’s the harm? She can’t understand us anyway. I wanna grab those fun bags of hers and make her squeal all night long.”

Ugh. It wasn’t as though the rest of us didn’t have any thoughts like that, but hearing him broadcast them loudly like that was really unpleasant. He did have a point about her being unable to understand, but it seemed like she was really making an effort to learn. Come to think of it, I think I’d heard somewhere that being around people who speak a language was the best way to learn it. There weren’t many people on the continent that couldn’t speak Ausbarlian, but that was how babies did it, after all.

She was listening so intently to our conversation, but it was mostly lewd male fantasies about her. I was so ashamed of my comrades. I couldn’t help but agree that she had a nice figure, though, even if I kept it to myself.

The monsters on the sixth floor were even stronger than the ones on the fifth. We were lucky they came at us one at a time. If they’d attacked in swarms like the ones on the first floor, we would have been overwhelmed. Thankfully, there were only five monsters on the whole floor, and we got a chance to rest again afterward.

There was only a single monster on the seventh floor, but it was unlike anything we’d ever seen. Instead of a squishy little blob, this creature looked like a stuffed toy animal. I’d heard noble children sometimes kept such things, but I’d never seen one. Apart from the fact it was pink, it looked very much like a bear.

“GAO!” the creature cried as we approached. Rather than menacing, its voice was cute and feminine.

The cute voice couldn’t hide its ferocity in battle, though. It swung its huge arms in wide arcs, and whenever they connected, they sent us flying. This thing was stronger than Roban, I was certain. It fought like a real bear, but lacked the sharp claws to do any real damage...or so we thought at first. It turned out those savage blows could break bones if we weren’t careful.

Shuzarl took a hit and went down—he wasn’t getting up. But then the little lady went over to his pack, pulled out one of the little bottles from his share, and dumped its contents over him. The liquid disappeared as it splashed on his skin, and his whole body glowed for a moment. Then he stood up, completely unharmed.

“That’s what those do?!” I shouted.

I couldn’t help myself. There was no way of knowing how badly injured Shuzarl was, but it’d been enough to render him unconscious. Just a splash of the stuff in that bottle and he was right as rain. Each of these bottles was worth a fortune, and not just because of the bottles themselves. To mercenaries like us, rapid healing like this was insanely valuable.

Wait, so the little lady had set all this up for our benefit?

We ended up using four more bottles of healing liquid before the creature on the seventh floor was defeated. When the battle finally ended, we all collapsed on the floor, exhausted, and the little miss clapped her hands to applaud our efforts.

She brought one of the empty bottles over to me and pointed at it. After a while, I realized she wanted to know the word for it. I told her the word for bottle.

She pointed at a full one. “Potion,” she said.

Wait, was that what the stuff in the bottle was called? Potion. Easier to say than “healing liquid.” All right, I’ll call these potions from now on.

There was a chest on this floor too. Once we’d had a chance to catch our breath, I examined it. There were no obvious traps, and the little miss used gestures to indicate it was safe. When I opened it up, there was a shield inside. Hegram was really impressed by the quality.

“It’s solid steel,” he said. “Usually you see shields made mostly of wood with just a band of steel around the outside. Normally a shield made completely of metal would be thin, but this one is pretty thick. It has a nice, curved shape as well. The curve actually makes the defenses a little thicker, since it increases the depth the enemy has to penetrate by just a bit. It’s more the type for deflecting enemy blows, so only someone who knows what they’re doing should be fooling with it. We can try to sell it off once we get to town, but for now, who should carry it?”

“It’s gotta be you, boss,” I replied. “It’s too heavy for most of us, and Roban would just strap it to his back.”

Everyone else seemed to agree. The boss looked really natural holding that shield. It was almost a shame he planned to sell it, but we knew it was probably worth a small fortune in metal alone.

We decided to rest for the night on the seventh floor. When we made it obvious we had no plans to move until morning, the little miss and her guards left. You couldn’t really tell what time it was inside of the tower, but we were all exhausted, so we drew lots to determine who’d be on watch, and made camp. There was no fire, but we were indoors, so it wasn’t cold.

We were roused a few hours later when something odd happened.

I woke up to find myself on the ground outside of the tower. According to Degon, who was on watch at the time, there had been a bright light, and then suddenly we were all outside. Come to think of it, the little miss had made some odd gestures when we made it clear we planned to rest on the seventh floor for the night. Maybe she’d been trying to warn us about that. As we speculated about what could have happened, the tower grew right before our eyes again, and the little miss appeared beside it to beckon us inside. We hesitated, but she made it clear it was safe.

When we walked back inside, the first floor was completely different. It had five rooms, each with a door and a bed. There was a thick wooden bar for the door in each one, so you could effectively barricade yourself inside. Not a single monster in sight, and there was a spacious central area with a wooden table. There were even five simple wooden chairs placed around the table for us. On the other side of the floor, there was a room equipped with some sort of privy—a real nice one compared to what we were used to. It seemed the little miss was trying her best to accommodate us.

We decided to take her up on her hospitality. There was a dim light in each room, bright enough to see by, but not bright enough to keep us awake. The beds were actually pretty comfortable, though. I was asleep in no time.

Chapter Four: The Adorable Dungeon Master Dreams

The Irregulars and I followed the humans as they cleared the new and improved tower. After they finished, I was hoping they’d be willing to try one more round, but it seemed like they were pretty exhausted. It seemed they liked the items okay, and I picked up a few of their words. When they set up a sort of makeshift camp on the seventh floor, I tried to tell them that the tower had a feature designed to prevent people from loitering within for too long, but unfortunately it didn’t seem like they understood. Since the dungeon master couldn’t modify the tower while outsiders were inside, the developers put a time limit on how long you could stay still in a dungeon. If you remained in the same spot for too long, you’d be automatically sent outside of the dungeon. Traps that stopped movement took advantage of this feature as well.

Since I couldn’t explain with just gestures and my super limited vocabulary, I decided to leave them to their own devices. They’d figure it out for themselves eventually. I returned to the sealed dungeon master chamber and got ready for bed.

As I climbed in, I got a notification on my tablet. It seemed there was something I could upgrade, even though I couldn’t adjust the tower. The only thing that came to mind was my own room. I checked the notification, and it said I could spend a hundred dungeon points to upgrade my bed. That was new. I’d never been able to upgrade my own furniture before.

Something inside me demanded that I try it. After all, it was already amazing to sleep on, what would it be like after an upgrade? I had plenty of points available after Hegram’s party’s latest run, so I did it. I was eager to know how it had changed, so I checked the bed’s description on my menu screen right away.

“Fairy’s Grand Canopy Bed” was now “Fairy Sovereign’s Grand Canopy Bed,” and the description now read, “Connects the Dream Realm to the Unseen Court, to allow the Sovereign to visit the Unseen Realm in their sleep.”

My Ring of the Fairy Sovereign had a skill that allowed me to access the Unseen Realm, so it seemed like I just needed to wear the ring while I slept in this bed, and I’d get to go there? It seemed like I wasn’t able to remove that ring anyway, so I guessed every time I slept here, I’d be visiting the Unseen Realm. Unless I used a different bed. Maybe I had to intend to visit before I went to sleep. Well, only one way to find out. Good night!

I snuggled into the newly upgraded bed, which actually did feel even nicer to lay on. I was asleep in minutes. As my consciousness drifted away, I found myself in a world of swirling mists. When I’d visited the Unseen Realm while I played Questonicia, it had been a place full of silvery castles shrouded in mists like these. The atmosphere always felt really stiff and formal.

This place felt very different. It was hollow and empty. There were none of the fairy lights that floated around in the fog, and the landscape seemed more rocky and harsh. I saw what appeared to be a structure in the distance, and flew that way with Fairy Wings. When I arrived, I saw what certainly looked like a castle, but was really more of a jagged rock formation. Light emanated from within, though, so I went inside.

It looked like someone had carved this place out of a mountain with water. The inside looked very cave-like, but it was also unmistakably the inside of a castle. There were stone statues of various Sprigian creatures placed along the cavernous halls, and paintings depicting battles hung from the walls, at once both out of place yet perfectly at home.

I arrived in a huge interior chamber. There was a throne there, similarly carved from the rock, and in front of it was a raised platform. A pillow lay atop that table-like rock, with a crystal crown resting on it. Behind the throne was a huge tapestry, adorned with images of Sprigians with their wings on full display. It was the cutest thing here.

As I approached the platform, I heard a disembodied voice.

“Welcome, Lilac Grimwood, Sovereign of the Unseen. Long have we waited. Come forth, and claim your birthright.”

The voice addressing me spoke in Sprigian, so I replied in the same language. “Please, I have questions. Why am I here? Why am I the Sovereign? Please help me understand.”

The mists gathered behind the platform and converged to form a shape. It was a shape that belonged to someone I recognized: the Queen of the Unseen from the game, Arterbi Celanba, the Arbiter of Balance. I started to kneel down, but I was interrupted.

“Kneel not, for you now have the same rank as I. It would no longer be right for you to bend a knee to others. It is good to see you again, dear Grimwood.”

“I, too, am happy to behold a familiar face,” I said. “I have struggled a bit in this land without answers. I’m glad to have made it this far.”

Yup, I was totally keeping up my “royal dignity” front.

“For too long, the world you now inhabit has been without a suitable Arbiter,” the queen explained. “In ancient times, the humans there went to war with the race that was assigned to ensure balance. They did so under the mistaken impression that they were fighting against tyranny. Those who followed the Arbiter of the time became enraged, and transformed into something monstrous. Instead of preserving order, they plunged the world into chaos. In this state, they were destroyed by humanity, and were unable to return to the Unseen Realm. Since then, it has sat empty, awaiting a new Sovereign. Then, by some miracle, you arrived in that world. The Unseen Realm responded to you, and named you the new Arbiter. Once you claim the crystal crown left behind by your predecessor, the powers of the Arbiter will be yours.”

“Why me? Why can’t it be someone like you?”

“I am unable to interact with that world directly; this conversation via mist projection is the most I can manage. There are none in that world but you who can take up this task.”

“What will happen to me if I accept the crown?” I asked. “Will I be forced to stay here?”

“You will still be quite free to act, and you will be able to return to the place you went to sleep,” she told me. “You will also gain the immense power afforded to the Arbiter of Balance. There are many responsibilities that power entails, but the power will help you meet those expectations. I have every confidence in you.”

“Um, this might sound like a stupid question, but I can’t understand the humans in this world. Is there some easy way to learn their language?”

“There is, in fact. The Sovereign has access to a skill that allows them to understand their subordinates. If someone who speaks that language swears loyalty to you, and you rename them, you will be able to communicate through them.”

“They have to swear willingly, right? I can’t force them.”

“That’s correct. You understand well.”

I may as well try it. The pros seemed to outnumber the cons here. If I could find a way to get a human subordinate, that would solve a lot of problems. Unfortunately, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell if someone was swearing their unending loyalty to me, since I didn’t speak their language. So I needed to speak the language to get a subordinate, but I needed a subordinate to learn the language... Okay, technically I didn’t need the subordinate to learn the language, though, so it wasn’t completely hopeless.

I approached the crystal crown, but before I could pick it up it floated into the air and slammed into my head. I was sure the impact was going to hurt, but it didn’t. I reached up to feel my forehead, and it was gone.

I looked around for a mirror, and one appeared as though it were responding to my will. As I looked at myself, I saw there was no bump or anything, but there was no sign of the tiara either.

I panicked. “Wh-What happened? Where’s the crown?”

“Fret not, dear Grimwood,” Queen Arterbi assured me, “the crown has bonded with you. When you exert your full authority as the Arbiter, the mark will appear upon your brow. The tiara will only manifest itself physically when you must act as an Arbiter in front of all the world.”

“O-okay, as long as I didn’t accidentally lose it or something...”

“Return now to the waking world,” she said. “I suspect you’ll be quite pleased with the authority your new title grants you. Remember to use it wisely and responsibly.”

“I-I will!”

The next thing I knew, I was awake in my Fairy Sovereign’s Grand Canopy Bed. It didn’t seem as though much time had passed. When I checked my tablet, it looked like the humans had just been expelled from the tower, so I’d been asleep for just over thirty minutes. I opened up the menu to make some changes, and I was completely blown away. Tons of new options were available. It would take hours to go through them all.

When I thought about the humans being forced outside of the tower, and wished there was something I could do to help them, the tablet responded. I was suddenly looking at a brand new set of options. Thanks to my promotion to “Arbiter of Balance,” I found I was able to change certain rules within the tower to fit my specifications. There were still limits, but I had way more control. There were also way more things I could build.

I started off by adding another floor, then moving everything up a story. That meant that the former first floor was now on the second, and so on. The new first floor was completely empty, so I started filling it up. I added five rooms, with beds, and I gave each room its own door, complete with a bar so they’d feel safe inside. I also made a toilet—it was nothing fancy, but it was better than everyone just relieving themselves wherever they felt like it. I added a table and five chairs, too, all made of wood.

I was still limited by what resources were available, but I was able to create a living space. I changed the rules for the first floor so that it wasn’t counted as part of the dungeon for when it came to self-repair, so it wouldn’t kick anyone out no matter how long they stayed. I could always change that later, if things got bothersome.

I was pretty excited about my new addition, so I rushed to show everyone right away. I exited the tower with my Irregulars and motioned to the humans in an effort to get them to follow me. They seemed to catch on, and they were pretty excited about the rooms. They each picked a room out and barred their doors. Hopefully they’d be able to get a good night’s rest.

Speaking of which, my own nap had been interrupted, so I changed back into my pajamas and went back to bed. As I equipped the Faecat Kigurumi Onesie, I noticed that my “Ring of the Fairy Sovereign” was now “Ring of the True Fairy Sovereign.” Additionally, the skill “Heir of Balance” attached to my ring was now “Arbiter of Balance.” According to the description, the skill now gave me “complete dominion over balance,” whatever that meant.

The other skills connected to the ring were different now too. “Ruler’s Blessing” had changed to “Sovereign Arbiter’s Favor,” and, along with the title granting effect, it also allowed me and my subordinates to understand each other no matter which languages we spoke. The description also mentioned an ability to summon titled subordinates and change their forms. As usual, though, it didn’t say how to do any of that.

“Gate to the Unseen Realm” had become “Sovereign of the Unseen Realm.” In addition to being able to travel there, I could now freely manipulate the Unseen Realm with my heart and mind, according to the description. There were other changes as well, but I didn’t notice them right then.

As it turned out, I had even more control over the Unseen Realm than I did over my dungeon. When I fell asleep again, I returned to the Unseen Realm, and I discovered how the new “Sovereign of the Unseen Realm” skill worked. Just by thinking about it, I could alter the landscape, the decor, and even the furniture. I’m not going to lie, I spent hours playing with it. I was able to alter the entire Unseen Realm with my mind—who wouldn’t try to test the limits of what they could do? I tried to see how cute I could make everything.

I lined the roads with pink bushes, and made the lighting brighter. I made the swirling mists a pink color as well, and the effect looked really nice. I changed the ominous-looking cave castle into a white marble structure, then added stained glass windows on the upper floors. It looked amazing from the outside. Inside, I moved the historical paintings and tapestries into a single tower, and redecorated the interior of the main structure to my own tastes. I created a room for myself, and filled it with all the stuffed animals I loved so much. I recreated all of them. Seeing them all like that made me miss my family, so I tried to create a magic mirror that would let me see them, but that didn’t work.

It made sense. The Arbiter of Balance from the game world couldn’t interfere in this one, so of course I couldn’t interact with my original world. After all, I was fairly certain that Arterbi was stronger than I was.

It was obvious, but that didn’t make it hurt less. I wished there was a way to tell them I was all right... Well, I was still dead, but I was also living it up in another world. They shouldn’t keep crying over me...

Huh? Am I crying? That won’t do, Lilac’s face is way cuter when she smiles. Wait, is that thunder?

As depression set in, the world around me started to change. Storm clouds rolled in, and everything turned gray. That was when I realized just how complete my dominion over this realm was. When I was happy the realm was bright and colorful, but when I was sad or angry, it became a frightening place. So I put on a brave face and cleared the clouds away. I’d just finished making the place cuter, so I wasn’t about to let it go back to being gloomy.

I’d heard that the color green had a calming effect, so I covered the landscape in grass and leafy trees. I also added a nice lake. I created balconies on the sides of the castle’s towers, where I could take in the view. It was majestic.

As the gray clouds cleared, I created a rainbow in their place. I stood there on the balcony and gazed up at it. I cleared my mind, determined not to feel homesick, and focused on the sights and sounds in front of me. Eventually I hit upon the idea of creating some sweets to eat. I reasoned that since this world was something like a dream, I wouldn’t gain weight from eating a bunch of sugary treats. I now had a fruit-only diet, so I ate sweet things pretty consistently, but there was one flavor in particular I was craving...

Chocolate started out as cocoa beans, so I was pretty sure I’d be able to eat it even with Lilac’s Sprigian body. And if my theory about this being more like a dream than reality held up, then I should have been able to eat whatever I wanted anyway. With that in mind, I made a plant that grew “fruit” with the same characteristics as a chocolate bar. Every time I plucked one off of it and removed the leafy wrapping, another grew in its place. The slight bitterness was a great contrast to the sweet fruit I’d been eating, and my mood improved with the very first bite.

I thought about what to do with the leafy wrapping that covered each bar when I was done with it, and it turned out they smelled great. I was wondering if they’d be good to turn into potpourri when they suddenly turned into fragrant bowls of dried leaves all by themselves.

As I ate, I sat on my throne, which had become fluffy, heart-shaped, and pink. It was super comfy. I sat there in sheer bliss for quite some time, but as I enjoyed the delicious food, nostalgic memories began to surface in my mind.

I thought of happy moments around the dinner table with my family, and remembered my brothers. With the nostalgia came regret, longing, and sadness. Truthfully, I struggled to stay positive. A little sadness was fine, but I couldn’t let myself wallow in misery. Somehow, I kept my mind busy trying to prevent my emotions from altering the landscape, and that seemed to work.

By the time I woke up, I thought I had a pretty good idea of how the Sovereign of the Unseen Realm skill worked.

From Another Point of View Part 3: ???

Untold eons ago, my people fought against the races of man. Although we sought only to maintain balance, they mistakenly viewed our attempts to restrict certain actions as tyranny. At first, it couldn’t even be called a war. Any time one of us fell, we simply returned to the Unseen Realm, and eventually we returned to the mortal realm just as powerful as when we left. Though they outnumbered us, we had an obvious advantage.

Unfortunately the races of man somehow discovered our weaknesses. The legendary metal mythrite was originally from the Unseen Realm. Weapons made from it could destroy not only our mortal bodies, but also our spiritual selves. Armed with these weapons, the races of man reversed our advantage, and hunted us to near extinction. Those who remained succumbed to the desire for more power and the thirst for revenge. Our bodies lost their pure and beautiful forms, and became savage. Sharp fangs, horns, claws, tough scales—our kind covered our bodies with all the greatest natural weapons we could think of.

When the Arbiter fell after our transformation, none who remained were qualified to succeed them. With our bodies and minds tainted by hatred, our fates were sealed. One after another, my fellows marched to the slaughter, until only I remained. My body was in a deplorable state, and I saw no point in continuing to struggle alone, so I remained hidden in the Unseen Realm. Over time, the anger faded away, and all that was left was pure grief. I mourned my fallen fellows, and lamented my own cowardice. Every time I thought I should return to the mortal realm and throw my life away, I convinced myself to continue on as the last of my kind: the one to pass on the memories of those who died.

For eons, I sat here and did absolutely nothing. Every day was the same as the last. I had no way of knowing what became of the mortal realm. Without an Arbiter, there was no way to receive any news besides going there myself. I believed I would spend the rest of eternity here, forever unchanged... But one day, a new Arbiter of Balance suddenly appeared.

I didn’t know what to make of the strange little thing at first. She was less than half my size, but she was full of life and cheer. Was the mortal realm at peace, then? Curiosity got the better of me, and I followed her. She didn’t seem to notice me, but then, I was hardly worth any notice in the first place. From the shadows, I watched the strange little woman with brown skin and pale purple hair enter the old castle. I followed her the entire time, hidden by the darkness, but she didn’t notice me. Silently, I witnessed as she accepted the crown and became the new Arbiter. My emotions overwhelmed me.

Hope, grief, trepidation, excitement, pride, sadness, joy; they all intermingled at once in my heart. Before she accepted her role as the new Arbiter, she had a conversation with a projection. I assumed that this projection belonged to the Arbiter of another world. It seemed that our new Arbiter had been sent from another world as well. Did that mean the state of the mortal realm had deteriorated so far that the universe saw fit to move space and time to bring an Arbiter here from another world? There were so many questions. I wanted to speak with the new Arbiter, but my cowardice rooted me to the spot. How would this new Arbiter judge me for my crimes? I dared not approach for fear of how she might react.

Then, just as suddenly as she appeared, the new Arbiter was gone. Returned to the mortal realm, no doubt. Was the situation really so dire that she couldn’t first deal with the lingering clouds of hatred and regret that shrouded the Unseen Realm?

Ah, but it wasn’t my place to question the Arbiter. My role should have been to serve her, in any capacity I could. In service, I might find atonement. Absolution for my cowardly reluctance. I resolved to pledge myself to her when next she appeared... But my cowardice got in the way once again.

She returned far sooner than I anticipated, and I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t have enough time to work up the courage to approach her. This time she seemed content to experiment with her powers, using them to mend the blighted landscape. More than mend—she set about improving it. She filled the unseen realm with colorful plants, and transformed the cursed castle into a thing of beauty. She seemed to have her own ideas about how to make the place as charming as possible. It made me wonder who she was renovating it all for. Did she perhaps intend to bring servants with her? If she already had a retinue, then surely she would have little use for my help. I admonished myself for creating more excuses, and pledged to steel my resolve and present myself to her. Even if she decided to eliminate me as a remnant of the tainted old guard, I had a duty to her. To ensure the future of the unseen realm, I had to speak with her.

Suddenly, storm clouds appeared overhead. Were her emotions in turmoil? I crept as close as I could without being noticed. It seemed she was longing for her old home, or perhaps for the people she’d left behind there. Perhaps the ones she longed for were lost the same way my old comrades were. I felt a kinship with her, but I remained unable to approach.

Curse my cowardly ways. If only I’d been slain in battle, and someone more useful had been left alive instead. As I continued to watch, and she gained control of her own tumultuous emotions, I lamented my inability to overcome my own fears.

The realm was peaceful once again, and she made the sky even more splendid. She prepared a strange plant that produced flat, rectangular fruits. I watched her eat several of them; they seemed to comfort her. It seemed that these fruits stirred some memories within her that inspired painful longing, but she controlled her emotions this time. The realm remained beautiful. That level of control was inspiring; she was certainly more skilled than I. It was obvious why she had been chosen as the next Arbiter.

When she departed the Unseen Realm again, I resolved to speak with her the next time she appeared. No more excuses.

I’ll swear my eternal loyalty to her, and let the rest happen as it is meant to. I refuse to allow this fear to control me any longer. The next time we meet will decide everything.

Chapter Five: The Adorable Dungeon Master Travels

I woke up refreshed and ready for the challenges of a new day.

My schedule was totally packed. I planned to try and get the humans to do another dungeon run, and I wanted to research my new abilities. If this were a game, I doubted they would’ve dumped this many new things on me all at once, but since it was reality, I needed time to examine all of the things I could do.

The first item on the agenda hit a snag right away. When I got dressed and warped to the first floor, the humans were getting ready to leave.

I tried what I could to get them to stay, but I couldn’t communicate well enough to convince them. Realistically, I could have forced them, but I didn’t want that sort of relationship with them. So I saw them all off with a smile, and moved on to my next task. Instead of fretting over something I couldn’t control, I decided to check out my new skills. There was one that caught my attention right away.

My new title, “Ruler of Grimwood Forest,” gave me an amazing ability. It allowed me to alter plant life—which meant I could, for example, transform any tree I wanted into a hollow tree. I know, I couldn’t believe it either. This ability would have been pretty useless to most people, but for a dungeon master with my particular skills, this gave me an incredible amount of freedom to create new towers. There was no way I could pass this up. I had to try it out immediately.

First, I used my map to determine where the best places would be, and transformed four trees in strategic locations. Then I filled each of them with a Labyrinth Seed. This gave me a total of five dungeons, even though four of them were just single floor huts at the moment. I summoned a set of Sprigoblin Irregulars for each of the new dungeons, for a total of sixteen. I called over Team Apple and put each member in charge of one of the new squads. Then I used the Adjoin skill to connect all five dungeons together, and told the squads to go out and gather resources.

When dungeons were connected via Adjoin, they shared resources, and in many ways were treated as a single dungeon. Adjoin created a physical connection between two different dungeons. Generally this connection was a sort of corridor, but since they could be placed at different heights, they could be more like covered bridges—or even just a wall, depending on how close the dungeons were and the way the connection was made. Adjoining five towers together in this way essentially just made them all one big dungeon. In the game, you could actually adjoin your dungeon to another player’s, too, but the rules functioned a bit differently. There were also limits based on how far apart the dungeons were, so it was best to build dungeons you wanted to link as close together as possible.

With the dungeons connected together, I reorganized the first floor, added more rooms, and created a kitchen. There was a creature called a Sprigourmet, which served as a cook in the game. This was essentially just a Sprigoblin with a chef’s hat on. Their function was to process edible materials you collected into advanced foods, which could be used to summon more powerful minions. Luckily it seemed my costs to summon new creatures had decreased dramatically, so I created a Sprigourmet right away. Of course, a chef couldn’t do much without proper tools, so I needed to have a way to make those as well.

To that end, I summoned a pair of Sprigolems, one to serve as a blacksmith, and the other to mine useful ores. Now, you might be wondering just how much ore I’d be able to mine in a forest, but a Sprigolem miner didn’t just mine whatever was available right there. They used a special fairy mine that would never be depleted. The Sprigolems themselves were made of wood, but they had adorable little round bodies, and big spherical heads topped with little horns that almost looked like cat ears. They ate rocks they found while mining, and as they gained levels they slowly transformed from wood to stone. Once they became stone, they would eat ores until they transitioned into metal bodies. After they became metal they’d no longer need to eat regularly, they just needed a few dungeon points every once in a while to keep them going.

The mine and the smithy were located in the basement beneath the first floor, and eventually they’d be able to supply my Sprigoblins with new weapons, armor, and tools. For now, I was happy just to get the kitchen going. Unfortunately, it was going to take a lot of points and resources to get them all where I needed them to be, but I had a powerful shortcut at my disposal: I decided to give them names. Having names would theoretically boost all of their abilities and get everything up and running a lot faster.

I named the Sprigourmet chef “Bistro,” which worked out...too well. He transformed after he was named, gaining more Sprigian proportions. Instead of green skin, he had smooth, brown skin, glossy dark hair, and golden eyes. Not only that, but he could make delicious sweets. His smile was dangerous for a lonely young maiden to be around. Just one look from him was enough to set my heart racing. It was only a matter of time before he conquered my heart though my stomach. A true crisis. If he made any romantic advances toward me, I’d never be able to resist. I silently vowed to stay away from the kitchen.

I could always just say it was unbecoming of the sovereign to speak to kitchen staff directly, but the guilty truth would haunt me forever. Oh, Bistro, why did you have to end up so perfect?

This only proved that I was correct in not handing out names frivolously. If I named everyone, surely I would accidentally create even more irresistible cuties. With this important lesson fresh in my mind, I went ahead and named the two Sprigolems anyway.

There were two Sprigolems, a miner and a blacksmith. The miner toiled away tirelessly in search of metals and minerals, while the blacksmith used those to make weapons, armor, and tools. I was nervous about how they would change as they looked at me with their glowing green eyes. I named the miner “Herc,” as in Hercules, but I shortened it to make it cuter. In the same breath, I named the blacksmith “Hammer” since he would inevitably use one to forge metal items. They both transformed after receiving their names, and their round bodies became sleek and slender. Their formerly brown wooden bodies turned completely black, aside from their glowing green eyes. Their heads still had a pleasing round shape to them, complete with horns, but they were probably more cool than cute at this point.

“A-are you guys okay?” I asked. “Your bodies turned black.” They were still moving, but I wanted to make sure they weren’t burnt or anything.

“Ah, don’t you fret none, Yer Majesty, we be made o’ ironwood now,” Hammer assured me, flexing his nonexistent muscles. “Stronger ’n steel, but supple as wood. Best o’ both worlds.”

Meanwhile, Herc just silently bowed. I decided to take Hammer’s word for it.

With that out of the way, I was ready for the next phase of my plan: tail the humans, and find out where they came from. Okay, so it wasn’t really a plan, more like an agenda. I needed to be around more people to learn the local language, and these guys could lead me to them.

Luckily, when I officially became the Arbiter, my Fairy Wings skill had been replaced with Fairy Sovereign’s Luminous Wings, a massive upgrade. Fairy Wings was a skill exclusive to Sprigians that allowed the user to fly freely. The movement speed was only about twice as fast as we could run, but Sprigians naturally had a lower running speed anyway, since they had short legs. The biggest advantage of the skill was the ability to soar over obstacles. Envious players from the other factions had bombarded the developers with complaints until they added various equipment to the game that mimicked the effects of Fairy Wings. Of course, they also added some Sprigian exclusive items that could mimic various exclusive skills from the other factions as well, so the whiners kept complaining.

Anyway, the normal version of the skill manifested a set of transparent wings, not unlike those you might find on a dragonfly. Instead of being totally clear, fairy wings had a sort of iridescent quality to them, meaning they looked like they were different colors depending on the angle you looked at them from. The effect was nice, but not over-the-top. The wings also didn’t really move at all, even when the player was flying, which drew more complaints about the developers being lazy. Even though the developers explained that the magic that manifested the wings was what generated lift, and that’s why they didn’t move, people just wrote that off as a lame excuse and kept right on complaining.

The new and improved version was something else. When I deployed the Sovereign wings, I was shocked at how huge they were. Each of the four wings was longer than my body from head to toe, and flared out at the ends. The effect almost made it look like I had feathers. In addition, rather than just having a rainbow coating, these wings glowed in ever-changing colors of light. There was even a little tailcoat-like wing at the base of my lower back.

Wait, does that mean I have a fairy tail now?

Okay, bad jokes aside, these wings were way faster than the old ones. Instead of being able to move at twice my normal walking speed, it multiplied my speed by more than ten times. When I had the Fairy Sovereign’s Luminous Wings deployed, everything else looked like it moved in slow motion. With that type of mobility at my disposal, it didn’t take me long to find the humans from above.

After I located them, I didn’t approach them right away. Instead, I landed a bit away from them, and used my new Ruler of Grimwood Forest skill to change a random plant into a Way-Point Flower. Yeah, if people playing the game found out someone had a skill like this, they’d either be screaming to have it removed or begging to have it for themselves. It was super overpowered. I could essentially create my own points to teleport to whenever I wanted.

Once I’d registered the new flower, I decided to explore more of the forest from above. The woods stretched over an absurdly huge amount of land, but I was able to cover a ton of ground with my new wings. In the north, I found a trio of mountains that seemed to be the source of the river that flowed through the forest. The river east of the mountains flowed east, and the river to the west flowed west.

From above, the mountains were arranged in a triangular pattern, with a lush green valley in the middle where the water pooled before coming down in a waterfall into the river. So I decided to put a dungeon there. Just north of the huge lake that was the source of the river, I changed one of the trees into a hollow tree and planted a Labyrinth Seed. I summoned a team of Irregulars, and told them to scout the area and gather materials. For good measure, I made a few more dungeons in other spots around the mountains, and linked them all together with Adjoin. I envisioned this place becoming a sort of mountain stronghold in the future; the thought made me giddy.

I explored the forest, adding more dungeons as I went. I didn’t just put them in random spots; I made sure to place them so that they’d be able to serve as ways to cross the river for people traveling on foot or on horseback. This was an important role of Sprigian dungeons back in the game. You could even charge a toll for safe passage through your labyrinth. That had been my primary source of in-game currency, since I hadn’t left my dungeon master chamber much.

As I went, I made sure to connect dungeons that were close to each other, just to make them easier to manage. In my head, I made it a contest to see which dungeons would generate the most resources. I placed and registered Way-Point Flowers as I traveled too. That way I could move easily between dungeons that weren’t connected to each other yet.

Every few hours, I checked on the humans and put a Way-Point Flower near their position. Since I was such a high level already, my speed was plenty high in the first place, but multiplying it by over ten times was really extreme. Keep in mind I was also getting a 1000% bonus in speed from my Ring of the True Fairy Sovereign (along with ten times my other stats), so with my wings deployed I was literally one hundred times faster than my in-game speed. I was moving so quickly I doubted they’d be able to spot me even if I flew by right in front of them.

When it got dark, the humans stopped to set up camp for the night, so I put another Way-Point Flower near them and teleported back home. There was no real reason to sleep on the ground when I could just warp back there in the morning. So I completed my nightly self-care routine, got dressed for bed, and went to sleep.

Of course, sleeping in my bed meant another trip to the Unseen Realm. I was ready for another night spent practicing my arbiter powers, but there was a surprise waiting for me.

“Y-Your Majesty, please accept my vow of unyielding loyalty. I will serve you faithfully for all eternity.”

“...Huh?”

There was someone else there. He was more than three times my size, but he was super skinny. Despite the overall size difference, his limbs were thinner than mine. His thin arms ended in hands nearly the size of my head, and each of his fingers ended in a sharp point. His entire body was pitch black, and with his elongated limbs, he looked like a shadow. His legs were nearly as thin as his arms, with clawed feet nearly as big as my torso (minus the breasts). His glowing yellow eyes were the only facial feature I could see; there wasn’t anything that looked like a mouth or a nose. Those eyes seemed hollow, unnatural. Something like a shark’s emotionless stare, perhaps. Even so, they looked sad to me, even if they might have seemed expressionless to others. He was kneeling in front of me, with his head bowed as low as he could, but he was still way taller than I was. Even if he got down on all fours and pressed his head against the ground, I might have still been shorter.

He looked at me with those yellow eyes, awaiting my response. I felt the expectation in his voice. When I looked into his eyes, I could see it there too. Whoever this guy was, he seemed to want to become my servant, or maybe a vassal.

Believe it or not, I did actually have some understanding of diplomacy and etiquette from my interpreter studies. So I didn’t say something stupid like “Who are you again?” even though I really wanted to.

“Though we have only just met, I feel as though you are quite aware of who I am,” I said. “You must understand this puts me at a bit of a disadvantage. Before I respond to your vow, please tell me a bit about yourself.”

This was the most diplomatic response I could muster. He seemed to respond favorably.

“Of course, Your Majesty!”

Yup, pretty favorable. What followed was a super long story about not just his own past, but the history of his people. I’ll spare you the whole thing, but the short version was, “Humans found a way to permanently kill our people when we went to war with them. They killed the old Arbiter, so we all got angry and turned into monsters to get back at them.”

He also seemed to have a major case of survivor’s guilt. He was wallowing in self-pity and regret. After the rest of his people died, he basically became a recluse, shutting himself away in the Unseen Realm. He had waited here for thousands of years doing absolutely nothing until I showed up.

Once the incredibly long story was finally over, I only wanted to know one more thing: “What’s your name?”

“It matters not,” he replied. “If you’ll accept my vow, then please provide me with a new one. I shall accept any name you wish to give me.”

I thought for a moment, then gave him a name that signified his hopes. “Redimir. That is your name now. It reflects your desire to redeem yourself. Make sure you live proudly by it.”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

Upon receiving his new name, Redimir started to glow and change. What stood in front of me afterward was absolutely nothing like the creature I saw before. To put it bluntly, he looked like a baby dragon. His lower jaw and belly were covered in silver scales, while the rest of his scales were black. He had yellow eyes with silver irises and black pupils. A stubbly little reptilian tail jutted out behind him, and he was sporting a pair of little black wings with silvery membranes. I’ll admit it, he was totally cute. I fought super hard to resist the urge to hug him. I repeatedly told myself that those scales wouldn’t be very cuddly. If I didn’t focus intently to suppress my desires, the Unseen Realm would try to make them a reality.

Redimir looked over his new body, and tears started to flow from his eyes.

“Wh-What’s wrong? Do you dislike your new form?” I was struggling desperately to maintain my composure. I really didn’t want him to ask me to change it. But it turned out I had nothing to worry about.

“I-I was just so moved by the wish you included in my name, and this new form, it’s splendid,” he wailed, doing his best to wipe away his tears. It seemed like he was actually just really happy. “Never before have I seen such beautiful and durable scales. I can feel the burden of my guilt melting away. Let us return to the mortal realm together!”

“Actually, my real body is still in the mortal realm,” I explained. “I visit the Unseen Realm in my sleep, via an enchantment on my bed. I don’t really know of another way to get here.”

“Ah! That makes sense, then. I was wondering why your visits had such odd timing. I suppose I won’t be able to follow you back, then. If I tried, I might end up trapped in your body.”

“Yeah, please don’t. I’ve noticed that once I name someone, though, I end up with a skill to summon that person as I wish. So I can always call you when I need you.”

“In that case, please do. I look forward to the opportunity to live up to my new name.”

Something occurred to me. “Say, Redimir,” I asked, “can you speak the language humans do?”

“I could during the war, but it’s possible the words have changed since then. I believe it’s been quite a long time.”

“I was wondering about it. Since I named you, I’ve had the feeling that I know another language, so that clears up where that came from. It’s not the same as what the humans I met before were speaking, but if I compare the two, perhaps it will help me learn their language faster.”

“A brilliant idea. I am moved beyond words that I could be of such help just by swearing myself to your service.”

Redimir and I talked for a while longer before I woke up. Then it was back to following the humans and exploring the forest. I also spent some time looking over the chat logs and comparing the language the humans were speaking to the one I’d learned from Redimir. It was a bit like comparing Latin to modern French or Spanish—it certainly wasn’t perfect, but it increased my understanding of their language by quite a lot.

It took the humans almost a week to get back home, but I was eventually able to set up a Way-Point Flower pretty close to the city. Now I just needed to figure out how I was going to get them to let me in, so I could listen to people talk and learn their language. I was really looking forward to it.

From Another Point of View Part 4: Duke Finlaud

From the moment my brother was chosen to be king, I knew my father had made a terrible mistake. For father’s sake, though, I held my tongue—I didn’t want to give him more to worry about on his deathbed.

After he died, I was put in charge of this backwater territory near the border. Well, “near” in relative terms, I supposed. The only thing we were really close to was the Grimwood, that accursed forest full of ravenous monsters. Since then, I’d been determined to wrest power away from my brother, but there was no way to gain renown in battle. Without such opportunities, how would I gain a mandate from the people? To become king, I would ideally have such a strong mandate from the people that my brother would be forced to abdicate. Unfortunately, with that blasted forest in the way, there could be no war, and no way for me to expand my meager holdings.

Or could I?

I hatched a plan to colonize the Grimwood. There would certainly be casualties at first, but as the trees were cut down, the monsters would gradually move north, away from our settlements. There was a river running through the forest that would be excellent for building villages. Once I’d claimed the entire Grimwood territory south of the river, we could continue north. Even if it meant encroaching on territory currently claimed by other nations, they were in no position to defend it.

If my plan worked, I could move the entire country’s border far to the north without fighting a single battle. Once I accomplished that, there would no doubt be a movement to have me crowned king. My brother would be all but forced to abdicate in my favor. If he wouldn’t surrender the throne peacefully, I was sure I could convince some of my sympathizers to remove him for me without actually ordering them to.

Everything hinged on the Grimwood colonization plan. So I enlisted the help of a renowned group of mercenaries. I tasked them with investigating the Grimwood and locating suitable spots for villages. Their leader, Hegram, had a military air about him; I was a bit curious about his history, but I didn’t pry. In the end, all that mattered was the results of their survey.

They were gone nearly two full weeks, but when they returned I couldn’t believe their report. It was absolute nonsense.

“A queen?! You’re saying there’s someone who claims sovereignty over the Grimwood region?! Impossible!”

“We saw it with our own eyes, Your Grace. She was a little thing, not even as tall as my waist, but she could make these huge towers grow out of the ground like plants. They were full of strange monsters we’d never seen before. We brought back the things we found there to serve as proof. I’ve never seen anything like them.”

This development threw my entire plan into disarray. The Grimwood was already a place humans feared. If there was someone—or something—laying claim to it, the colonization plan would face another setback.

But... Wait, what if this wasn’t a setback at all?

Something mentioned in the report was actually very interesting.

“Tell me more about these towers,” I ordered.

The more I heard, the more I became convinced. The strange creature laying claim to the Grimwood wasn’t the end of the colonization plan, but the beginning. I planned to send out a subjugation force to capture her, then force her to create more towers for humans to live in. Since she could make things like bedrooms and privies, I was certain they could become valuable living spaces.

And I was told she was pleasing to look at—perhaps I’d even make her my concubine.

My dream of redrawing the border and ruling the country drew closer than ever.

Don’t you worry little Miss Grimwood, as long as you obey me, I’ll be sure to take good care of you.

Chapter Six: The Adorable Dungeon Master Waits in Prison

After waiting a few days, I decided to take the direct approach. I just walked right up to the gate of the human city and tried to get in. I figured the lord of this town had probably heard about me already, and hopefully he’d be interested in meeting. If everything went okay, he could bring in a scholar who studied languages, and between the two of us, we’d find a way to communicate.

Yeah, in hindsight, perhaps it wasn’t really the best plan.

I was immediately surrounded by a bunch of shouting guards, who led me to a prison cell. At first, I figured whoever was in charge would eventually clear up the misunderstanding, but at the end of the day, nobody had arrived to release me. As I waited, I passed the time by reading the descriptions of my new and improved skills and remotely improving the towers I’d set up.

Another day passed, and still no pardon from the governor, so to speak.

Don’t I get a phone call or something? Where’s my lawyer? I guessed this world didn’t have those kinds of rights for prisoners. At least, not for adorable Sprigian prisoners.

There was always at least one guard posted outside of my cell. They rotated around the same times every day. Each time a new guard arrived, I tried talking to them, but I was never able to get a dialogue going. It was frustrating, but I tried not to let it get to me.

They’re just doing their jobs. Talking with prisoners is probably against the rules.

Just to be clear, I let them put me in prison, but I never allowed them to touch me. I had barrier spells for that. Even once I was in the cell, I could still have left any time I wanted. There were multiple reasons I allowed them to lock me up and didn’t just leave.

At the time, I really thought I might end up meeting with the local lord or whatever and come to some sort of understanding. When I thought about fighting back, I remembered that armor plated bear, and I just couldn’t do it. I could probably have leveled this whole city if I really felt like it, but I wasn’t here to hurt anyone. Besides, if the soldiers failed to catch me, or let me escape, they could lose their jobs, or worse. I didn’t know exactly what kind of culture I was dealing with, so I really didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. When I got frustrated, I would just tell myself that these were decent, hardworking people who were just following orders. So I stayed put, and hoped for some sort of attempt at communication.

Don’t ask me how the food was, I didn’t try any. Sprigians are frugivores, so when the guards gave me rock-hard bread and awful-smelling water, I just ate things from my inventory instead. Even from my cell, I could still tell my cook, Bistro, to deposit meals into my inventory, so I could enjoy his cuisine even while I was behind bars. My towers were all growing nicely, and I was able to link more of them together. I wondered what Hegram and the rest would think if they saw the first tower dungeon again after all of the changes. I’d added a bath to the ground floor, and washrooms right next to every staircase.

The prison cell was underground, but thanks to the clock on my tablet, I could still tell exactly how much time passed. That’s how I knew I was down there for more than two weeks. I used a barrier when I slept to make sure nobody tried anything. Luckily, I’d checked beforehand to make sure this was possible in the safety of my own room at the tower, and I was pleased to report that the barrier stayed up the entire time without issue. The “bed” in my cell was pretty much just a pile of straw, so that was probably the worst part. The cell also didn’t really have a toilet. There wasn’t even a hole in the floor. Luckily, I was able to grab various types of furniture from my inventory, and I had a few different types of toilets available.

There was one modeled after a pitcher plant that was helpful in this situation. In real life, the pitcher plant this toilet was modeled after produced sweet nectar to lure tree shrews in; as they ate the nectar, it stimulated them to do their business, and the plant used their waste to nourish itself. Think of it as a nonlethal version of carnivorous plants like the Venus flytrap—and instead of dispensing nectar, my toilet version had a bidet. To make sure the guards didn’t peep at me when I did my business, I used a folding screen.

Since the guards didn’t keep that close of an eye on me, and I was pretty good at covering my tracks, I’m not sure they even knew half of my little ways of getting around the awful living conditions down there.

Whenever I finally get to talk with the local lord, I’ll have to mention the lackluster accommodations.

Anyway, my extended stay came to an end one fateful night when the guard reported to his shift drunk. I don’t mean just a little tipsy either: He was hammered. The sloshed guard showed up, and the guy he was supposed to relieve didn’t even give him a second look before he took off. Instead of just sitting in his little chair with his back to me like normal, the inebriated guard came over to the bars of the cell. At first I was kinda excited—I thought I might finally have a chance to try out some phrases. I’d been studying my chat logs from Hegram and his buddies, along with the ancient language I got from Redimir, and I was eager to try communicating. Unfortunately, the guard was more eager for something else.

He pointed at me and yelled some stuff, then seemed to get frustrated when I couldn’t understand him. He made some gestures and moved his body, but I couldn’t really tell what he wanted. Finally, he took his pants off. Yeah, that was when I realized what was on his mind, and I got pretty grossed out. So I made it as clear as I could that I was not interested in fooling around with him.

That just made him angry. He whipped out the key to the cell and shoved it in the lock. The metallic scraping sounds it made as the key turned hurt my ears. I could see where this was going, so I immediately teleported right the heck out of there with my Fairy’s Homecoming Band.

I wonder how he tried to explain what happened. Maybe he got fired, maybe he was executed; at that point, I no longer cared. He deserved whatever he got.

From Another Point of View Part 5: Duke Finlaud Revisited

I couldn’t make any sense of it. The report was too unbelievable to be true. The new crux of my plan simply wandered into town one day and was promptly arrested. This worked out perfectly for me, so I had her thrown into the worst cell available and made sure the food and water were horrible. The idea was to leave her there for a month or so, then come down to rescue her personally. From there, I’d pretend I’d had no idea she was being held there, and she would be so grateful I’d rescued her that she’d do anything I wanted. Unfortunately, that plan apparently wasn’t foolproof. One drunk guard ruined the whole thing. According to his testimony, the prisoner simply vanished, right before his eyes.

Who in their right mind would believe such a tale? Especially from a drunkard.

Of course, I had him executed as soon as I heard the news. The kingdom would be all the better off with one less idiot. I was certain he had absolutely no idea what a valuable commodity that girl was, but that was no excuse. Nobody else on duty that night was able to explain how she’d escaped. I thought about having the rest of them executed as well, but that would have left us short of staff, so I showed them my merciful side.

My original plan had been to send out a subjugation force to capture her, and now that she’d been imprisoned once, she certainly wouldn’t just conveniently wander into town a second time. So I started organizing the mission to raid the forest and recover this “queen.” I absolutely couldn’t afford to fail this time, so I devoted a full eighty percent of my soldiers to the effort. Only the bare minimum were left behind to defend the domain, but that was hardly an issue—we were situated in the middle of nowhere. Not even bandits had any incentive to attack this place. In a way, no place in the kingdom was safer.

I sent for the leader of the mercenary group I’d hired last time, Hegram. I wanted to commission his group of mercenaries for this operation, since they had a significant amount of experience with the Grimwood. More importantly, they’d been to the tower where this “queen” lived once before. Thankfully, the man in question was still in town.

“You summoned me, Your Grace?”

He really must have had some formal training somewhere. He was quickly becoming my favorite mercenary to deal with.

“Yes, there’s been a bit of a problem regarding that little girl you told me about, Miss Grimwood,” I told him. “Apparently she wandered into town and was arrested.”

“What? That’s awful!” He seemed genuinely appalled.

“Yes, quite. Unfortunately, it gets worse. You see, that happened over two weeks ago, but I wasn’t told about it until she apparently escaped.”

“She escaped, then? I might have known. She’s truly mysterious, that one.”

“Yes, quite. More importantly, I can’t let this blemish on my reputation stand. I want you and your men to lead my soldiers into the Grimwood, and meet with her on my behalf. Ultimately, I’d like her to return here so I can apologize in person. I’d go myself, but I can’t leave the town while it’s so lightly defended. I intend to deploy eighty percent of my soldiers for this task. With such a fighting force, even the most dangerous creatures of the forest should keep their distance.”

“I’d be happy to assist you in this endeavor,” Hegram said. “Shall we discuss the terms?”

“But of course.”

Since this wasn’t the first job I’d given his group, it was easy to hash out the details. Once we agreed upon the terms, I sent him off with a smile. He seemed like the upstanding sort, so I played to that. After all, it seemed like he and his band were on somewhat decent terms with that wretched girl. Just as planned, it seemed he never thought I had anything but the purest of noble intentions.

If he could just lure her back here, I’d handle the rest. I’d put a collar around her neck and keep her as a pet. Maybe I’d even teach her to bark when I called her. It’d serve her right for all the trouble she’d caused me.

Just you wait little Miss Grimwood, I’ll have you on your knees before me within the next month. Then we’ll see who really rules the Grimwood region.

Chapter Seven: The Adorable Dungeon Master Is Drawn to Cuties

Everyone was pretty happy to see me when I got home. I inspected the changes I’d made while I was gone, then made some pretty extensive modifications to my own chambers. My dungeon master room became a multiroom complex, with separate chambers for bathing, eating, and sleeping. There was even a lounge complete with sofas. I also made a small room just for the toilet, and an enormous closet where I could display some of my favorite outfits when I wasn’t wearing them.

Now this was the sort of sanctuary I was accustomed to. After I upgraded absolutely everything I could, I paid a visit to the Sprigrizzly I’d summoned as a dungeon boss.

Ah, it’s so cute, I just wanna hug it. You know what? I will. Hug attack!

I couldn’t quite wrap my arms around it, but I gave it a big hug anyway, sinking into its plush fluffiness. It seemed a bit confused, but it didn’t really seem to mind.

“Ah, you’re so fluffy, I couldn’t resist giving you a great big hug,” I sighed happily. “I know! I’ll give you a name too!”

I couldn’t resist; I wanted to see how it would change after I named it. I mean, how could it possibly get any cuter? I thought for a moment, then decided on a great name.

“Your name will be Ursa.”

After being named, Ursa glowed brightly, then shrank down to almost my height. Other than that, it looked pretty much the same. I checked its stats, and they’d all gone up, as expected. Wait, didn’t that mean—

“You’re even easier to hug now!”

I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around its neck in a proper hug.

Then its head came off.

My head bumped against it as I went in for the hug, and it just sort of flopped onto the ground. I was horrified.

“Waaaaugh! I’m so sorry!” I wailed, stumbling backward—only to find a new head in place of the old one. “Ursa?”

She had long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and pointed ears. Absolutely adorable.

Oh! I get it. After I named her, she’d switched from being a giant animated stuffed animal to being a Sprigian in a bear kigurumi, and I’d accidentally knocked off her mascot head.

Just to clarify, Ursa wore a different kind of kigurumi than the one I wore to bed. The term “kigurumi” is actually an abbreviation, but it essentially means “human-sized stuffed toy covering.” My pajamas were a kigurumi onesie, which meant that it was an animal-shaped costume with a hood. Ursa wore a mascot-suit-style kigurumi, which was more like a costume a theme park employee might wear. Both were kigurumi, but they were different kinds. I know, because I looked it up. I’ll just call hers a mascot costume for now, to avoid confusion.

“Y-yes Your Majesty?” Holy crud, her voice was cute too. Was she embarrassed? She was blushing like crazy. Was it because I was hugging her, or was she just shy without her mascot head on? After two weeks locked up in that awful prison cell, I had to be going through cuteness withdrawals.

Yeah, just let me get my fix. I’m soaking up all the cuteness...! Oh wait, she talked, I should say something back.

“You’re so cute.”

It was no good, my brain melted back there, and that was the only thing I could think to say. Now I sounded creepy. Forgive me Ursa, your queen is just a slobbering idiot who’s obsessed with cuties! Her image of me had to be in tatters. Oh no! My precious royal dignity! What if she hates me? What if she tries to avoid me from now on? Ah, this is so awkward!

“Th-Th-Th-Thank you, Your Majesty!”

Huh? She just took the compliment? Yes! I’m not sunk yet! Come on Lilac, pull it together. You’ve gotta act like the queen you’re supposed to be. Now, let’s give her the most dignified response we can manage.

“Thanks for letting me hug you, I feel much better now.”

That was the best I could come up with?! What is wrong with me?! She thinks I’m creepy for sure now. Why did my brain turn into hot fudge? I’m gonna die of embarrassment. That’s how my second life ends.

“A-any time, Your Majesty.”

She’s smiling?! She’s an angel, no, a goddess! Ursa, goddess of warm fuzzy hugs and sweet feels. Ah, I’m gonna melt into a gooey cuddle puddle. Why is she so freakin’ cute?! She’s so embarrassed, but you can tell she’s happy too. Even though she’s the shy, quiet type. It’s no good, I can’t escape the gravitational pull of her cuteness, she’s like a black hole of adorable. I wanna hug her again. Nope, can’t stop, doing it!

I gave Ursa another hug, then fled as fast as I could. Of course, I made sure to properly say goodbye so I wouldn’t upset her, but then I made another mistake. In my flustered state, I thought it would be a good idea to drink something sweet to calm myself. So I wandered right into the kitchen. There I saw Bistro in all his studly glory.

Oh no! He’s hot!

This was a completely different problem. Ursa triggered all of my protective, motherly urges and made me want to hug and cuddle her nonstop. Bistro, on the other hand, made me feel like a woman. One who really wanted to get to know a certain devastatingly charming chef. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, he was so adorable. Normally I would have steered well clear of the kitchen to avoid this exact situation, but now I was stuck. Maybe I could slip away before—

“Your Majesty!”

“Eep!”

“Is there something I can do for you?”

Yup, you can tell me you love me, and watch my heart melt. Oh, thank goodness that one didn’t slip out. Ah, his voice is cute too. Not too deep, but not super high either. The perfect way for an “adorable man” to sound.

“C-C-C-Coffee!”

“As you wish,” Bistro said with a bow.

I’d just blurted out something that sounded good. I never drank it much in my old life, but since being reborn as a creature with a mostly fruit diet, I’d really grown fond of savory and bitter flavors. They balanced the sweet things I normally ate really well. Even so, I usually took my coffee with sugar, since milk was off the menu. Sprigians couldn’t do dairy at all—unless it was a mother nursing her child, but that was different.

This time, though, I was going to try to snap myself out of it with some unsweetened, black coffee, bitter enough to brace me. As I tried to prepare myself, Bistro arrived with my freshly brewed coffee.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said in that smooth, gorgeous voice. “It should be ready to drink now.”

“Th-Th-Th-Thank you!”

I grabbed the coffee cup and quickly took a huge swig. Normally, this would be an incredibly stupid move. I mean, it still was, but I didn’t suffer for it. Not only did I not get scalded by hot coffee, it wasn’t bitter at all.

“It isn’t too hot, and it’s not bitter at all.”

“Ah, forgive me, it seemed as if Your Majesty wanted to drink it right away, so I took the liberty of cooling it down for you. I am also well acquainted with how many sugars Your Majesty normally takes, so I added them on my own. Was it not to your taste?”

The taste was the farthest thing from my mind at the moment.

“H-how did you cool it down?”

Please don’t say you blew on it. Please don’t say you blew on it. If you say you cooled it down with a gentle breath from those lips, I will absolutely lose my mind.

“I used a paper fan. Was it too cold?”

“Oh, no, it was lovely.”

Why am I disappointed?! Did I want him to blow on it or not?! Make up your mind, me! Calm down, remember, he’s your employee. It’d be improper to try and start a relationship with him. After all, if I told him I wanted him, he’d feel obligated to go along with it. It’d totally be sexual harassment. I can’t do it, no matter how unbelievably gorgeous he is.

I gulped down the rest of my coffee, only to be presented with another cup.

This is entrapment. He’s got to be doing it on purpose. Wait a second, is that a chocolate covered strawberry? He’s bringing me a snack too? I’m doomed. He’s already stolen my heart and left a glob of melted caramel in its place. He’ll take it back to his phantom thief lair later, and deposit it in his treasure chest full of women’s hearts he’s collected. Why is he so perfect?!

Bistro set the chocolate covered strawberry down in front of me. It wasn’t any ordinary strawberry, either. It was bigger than my fist, and way sweeter than the ones from my old life. I had to use a fork and knife to eat it. Just one berry was a whole dessert all by itself.

I couldn’t help myself. I ate every last bite, then finished off my coffee.

“Feeling better?” Bistro asked.

He could tell I wasn’t myself? I want him! I want him so bad. Where did this dreamy, caring man come from? Where did I summon him from? Heaven? I love you, o wonderful man who makes my food!

“Yes, thank you. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. It was wonderful.”

With that, I excused myself. It would have been dangerous for my maidenly heart to remain there any longer. His smile was absolutely devastating. It took so much willpower to leave that room. Frankly, I was lucky to escape without drooling anywhere.

I returned to my chambers, did my nightly care routine, took a nice long bath, then went to bed.

It really was great to be home.

Hmm, I guess I started thinking of this place as home at some point without realizing it. Maybe it was during my stay in prison.

As I rolled around in my own bed for the first time in weeks, I felt as though I was missing something... I mentioned earlier that I’d collected a ton of plush toys based on the game. Well, each of them came with a code to get a digital version of the same toy to decorate your dungeon master room with. With how hectic everything had been at the beginning, I’d been focused on essentials, but now that my chambers were expanded, I decided to bring out the stuffed cuties. In particular, I decided that the Sprigrizzly plush would be joining me in bed. It was nearly as big as I was—or rather, close to my new size as Lilac. I could safely cuddle this cutie without any sexual harassment issues.

Oh! It smells like strawberries, just like the real-life version. Come to think of it, Ursa smells like strawberries too. That reminds me of the awesome dessert I just ate. Even with all the sweets I’ve been eating, I don’t really feel like I’ve gained any weight. Do I have a calorie-burning cheat skill somewhere in this superlong list of abilities? If I did, I probably wouldn’t have such a huge rear end. I wonder if Bistro likes big butts. If you do, you can’t lie about it, okay? No denying it either. I’ve got dumps like a truck, thighs like—

Ahem. Those were the sorts of useless thoughts swimming around my head as I drifted off to sleep. And of course with sleep came another trip to the Unseen Realm. Redimir was there waiting for me, with his adorable new little dragon body. He was so happy to see me. I guess he had been really worried when I didn’t show up for over two weeks. I think I even saw his tail wagging... And there was something else too.

“I-is that a bow tie?”

“Ah, meager though it may be, I thought I should adorn myself as befits a servant of the Arbiter,” he said, blushing. “This body doesn’t lend itself to ordinary clothing, so this was the best I could do. Does it displease you? If so, I’ll remove it at once.”

“No! Don’t touch it! It’s adorable!”

My dignified image! Come back! Don’t leave me! I couldn’t believe I’d just blurted that out. Now he was definitely gonna think I was some kinda weirdo.

“Forgive me for misunderstanding, Your Majesty. I shall wear it proudly.”

You bet you will. Don’t vandalize my precious baby dragon without permission. Wait, does he really not care that I just called him adorable? Is he proud of it? Is he making a smug face? That’s totally smug, right? He’s so happy I liked it that he didn’t notice I said something totally weird and out of line? Sweet!

I cleared my throat. “Ahem. You merely misunderstood my reaction. Your judgment was right on the mark about the bow tie itself. In that sense, your intuition is worthy of praise.”

Yup, just gloss over the whole thing with some praise, and nobody will be the wiser.

“Truly, Your Majesty’s compassion knows no bounds. Allow me to prepare something for you. Please, relax wherever you’d like.”

It was like having a butler. I could get used to this.

“Very well,” I said. “I’ll have a seat on the balcony then. I wish to take in the view.”

So I did. I went over to the balcony and sat down at one of the cute little tables there. I sat near the railing, so I could look out over the Unseen Realm. I wondered for a moment if there were others like Redimir around—but I quickly banished the thought from my head. Nothing good came from brooding in this world. It was best to just relax and be happy. After all, my state of mind directly impacted this world, so letting negative thoughts linger was a really bad idea.

I created a little tree about as tall as I was. It had orange leaves, and produced full-sized oranges. It seemed like I was always eating here. In a way, it made sense. Indulging in sweets kept me happy, and since it was like a dream, I’d never get fat. Then again, I ate a ton of sweets in the mortal realm, too, and I didn’t get fat there either. As I contemplated the advantages of my eternally “just right” body type, Redimir returned with a tray in hand—or maybe that should be with a tray in paw.

“I’ve prepared some tea using the sweet leaves of one of the plants here and accompanied it with some of the strange bitter brown fruits you cultivated,” he told me. “The two seem to pair oddly well.”

He put an adorable little teacup and saucer in front of me. The hot liquid inside had a pinkish hue to it. Then he set down a small plate with a few chocolate bars. Apparently he’d gotten curious about them while I was gone, and experimented with them. The tea was made from the petals of the “Sakura Rose” I’d created. They looked like pink roses, but smelled like cherry blossoms. If you left the flowers alone long enough the petals swelled up a bit, and they tasted like dried cherries. I’d heard of rose tea before, so I guessed this was a sort of cherry flavored variant. I took a sip, and a pleasing sweetness filled my mouth. I hadn’t intended for these to be used for tea, but it totally worked. I broke off a square of chocolate to chase the sweet tea with. This was bliss.

I think I had three or four cups of that tea before the night was over, with Redimir serving me dutifully the whole time. It was so soothing. The bitter chocolate really took it to the next level. I was so distracted by the elegant tea time, though, that I totally forgot to try the oranges I’d made. Next time, for sure.

From Another Point of View Part 6: Sedriz

I could scarcely believe it when I heard the order.

“I want you to gather about eighty percent of my troops. Leave behind only the bare minimum needed to maintain our defenses and public order. The objective is the so-called ‘Queen of the Grimwood,’ a small feminine creature that doesn’t even come up to a grown man’s waist. I’ve enlisted a group of mercenaries to guide you to the tower she lives in. I’d like you to bring her peacefully if possible, but you’re free to use force if you must. Failure is not an option; my plans have suffered far too many setbacks already.”

Duke Finlaud made it clear he wasn’t interested in hearing any objections, but this was sheer lunacy. The Grimwood region was bursting with monsters no normal human had a hope of defeating. Even with these numbers, I still expected casualties. The creatures would steer clear of the main force and strike at stragglers or the fringes of the flanks. They’d whittle our numbers down as much as they could. Not only that, but we’d also have to bring carts and horses to carry our supplies. What were we supposed to do with them once we got to the forest? We’d have no choice but to waste time cutting a path through. Even a small one for the horses would take weeks, and while people were cutting down trees, they were at risk of being attacked by monsters.

The stress of this trip threatened to wear a hole in my stomach. It took nearly two weeks just to reach the edge of the forest. Morale was absolutely horrible. When we sent scouts to look for a good path, though, they returned with a surprising discovery: a pair of small towers connected together to form a sort of gatehouse. These towers were in turn connected to a series of other small towers leading deep into the forest. Nobody had ever heard of these structures being here before, but the mercenaries seemed to know something.

“That’s Miss Lilac’s handiwork all right,” their scout said. I didn’t remember his name. “I bet this is a path that goes straight through to the main tower.”

“Even if there are monsters,” added their leader, “it’ll probably just be those little squishy things. Even green recruits could beat the weaker ones. Much safer to go through here than through the wood itself.”

“Unless Miss Grimwood is holding a grudge,” one of his men pointed out. “If she’s angry, she might have booby-trapped the whole thing.”

“I still think it’s safer in there than outside.”

In the end, I decided to enter the gatehouse. If it was dangerous, we could simply turn around and leave. Unfortunately, it took days to get the entire army inside. On the bright side, it really was quite safe. There were even privies and water fountains placed along the route at set intervals, as well as places to prepare and eat meals. There was no sign of the “squishy things” Hegram and his men had mentioned, but that wasn’t exactly a bad thing.

“If I had known it was going to be like this, I would have suggested sending in a smaller team,” Hegram said, a few days later. “The numbers are really slowing us down.”

He was right. We’d been traveling for three days now along these corridors—which even had beds available in some spots—but the pace was always slower leading an army than with just a handful of people.

“At least we didn’t have to abandon the carts or the animals.” I was trying to see the bright side, but this trip was already taxing my nerves.

“It’s tough to reckon from indoors, but I think our scouts will report a change sometime tomorrow,” said Hegram, trying to raise morale. “We’ve got to be close by now.”

“I hope you’re right, for all our sakes,” I replied.

Hegram really did have the air of an old military man, even though he and I were close in age. At least I thought he wasn’t that much older than me; it was kind of tough to figure out. It just felt like he had a ton of experience, and I found myself wanting to learn from him. If we made it back alive, I wanted to buy him a drink and ask if he’d like to spar sometime.

The next day, his prediction really did come true. The scouts reported that in the hall up ahead there was a large door with some armed humanoid creatures positioned in front of it.

I moved forward, unsure what I was about to encounter. Hegram and his men came with me, for which I was eternally grateful. At the end of the hall was a mob of goblin-like creatures who seemed to be guarding a door. Most of them had chubby, round little bodies, and didn’t seem all that tough, but there were four of them that set off alarm bells in my head even though they were barely taller than my waist. Their weapons and armor were on another level, and the way they carried themselves indicated they knew their way around a battle.

Hegram volunteered to speak with them, and when he stepped forward, one of the four intimidating ones did the same.

He was slender, with green skin and hair, and he wore black armor with spiked pauldrons. The sword on his back would have been a standard broadsword for a human, but for him, it was more like a great sword. His expression was fierce, fixing us in place with a sharp glare. This was much more than a naturally intimidating aura; he seemed furious. Despite the hostile reception, though, Hegram addressed him politely.

“Pardon me, but might you be the same four who were guarding Miss Grimwood last time we met?” he asked.

That greeting was perfect. He mentioned their master’s name, so even if they couldn’t understand, it was less likely they’d attack us.

“She sent.” He gestured toward himself. “Warn human.” His hands motioned toward us in broad, noticeable gestures. “Danger,” he said emphatically, turning to point at the imposing door, “here. No fight, go back.”

From what I could tell, he seemed to be indicating that he was here to warn us. Did that mean he wasn’t here to protect the door, but to protect us from what was beyond it? It was unlikely that a conversation was going to get us anywhere, but that was far more than I’d been led to think we’d get out of him.

“Thank you,” Hegram said with a bow.

The messenger grinned in a way that was at once mischievous and menacing. He and the rest of the little armed band turned and departed through the door, leaving us as it closed behind them.

“It seems as though the path won’t remain peaceful once we pass through this door,” I observed. “It was kind of them to warn us.”

“I get the feeling that little fellow really doesn’t like us,” said Hegram. “If not for his mistress, I think he’d have no problem killing every last person here.”

I didn’t think he was wrong there. After being in a certain number of fights, you gained a sense of what sorts of foes were bad news. Even though he was small, that little green guy would be able to inflict significant harm to our forces, even all alone. “You got that vibe from him too, huh?” I said. “I could feel his anger from where I was standing. Not quite bloodlust, but he seems the type who could hide it well.”

Hegram nodded. “He wasn’t quite so imposing when last we met, but it’s been close to two months since then. I wonder if that anger is over his mistress being imprisoned, or something else.”

I wasn’t sure what else it could be, but I was glad the duke hadn’t joined us personally. I’d hate to be around when that fury found a target. I kept that thought to myself, though.

“May as well see what’s waiting for us,” I decided. “Tell the scouts to open the door.”

A few moments later, it was opened. The door was actually unusually large, so there’d be no problem getting the supply carts through. We had already left one of the carts behind at one of the rest stops after the remaining supplies inside were transferred to another cart. What we’d left behind was basically a cart full of empty crates and barrels—we could pick it up on the way back. If we made it back.

The report came back quickly.

“Sir! There are thousands of them!”

Beyond the door was a single, huge room full of little roundish monsters.

“The ‘squishy things’ you spoke of earlier?” I asked Hegram as I drew my weapon.

“That’s them,” he replied, reading his own blade. “They range from completely harmless to able to knock you out in one blow by ramming into you at high speed. Be careful.”

There really were thousands of them...so we led the army into battle.

It was brutal.

Fortunately, the weaker squishies were probably about fifty percent of their force, and those died fairly quickly. Unfortunately, the more of them we killed, the more obvious the problematic ones became. At first, the battle seemed like a lopsided victory for my troops—by the time there were only about ten percent of them left, only around ten percent of our own forces had been taken down. It seemed like the creatures weren’t interested in landing killing blows, but dozens of men were knocked out.

In the midst of this overwhelming disadvantage, the remaining foes were not going down quietly. Hegram’s group could manage one or two at a time, but most of the soldiers could only flail around ineptly as the squishy things bashed into them repeatedly. It took over an hour to whittle the enemy number down to about five percent of their original strength, but by then our own numbers had been cut nearly in half.

I couldn’t help but wonder what their game was. First, they warned us of the danger, then they refused to land a killing blow after knocking my soldiers to the ground—not that I was complaining about the lack of losses. The deaths of over fifty percent of my men would have been a staggering loss, especially when we held such a huge numerical advantage. As the enemy numbers dwindled, I had to order some of the men to drag their unconscious fellows out of the way. Perhaps that was the reason for leaving them alive, to force me to allocate resources to the wounded that I wouldn’t have bothered with for a dead man.

Normally, with losses that bad it would have been wise to call a retreat, but according to Hegram there was a possibility that the enemies would return in full force if we left, so it was better to stay and try to finish them all off. So that’s what we did. After another hour of combat, with groups taking turns fighting and resting, we finally put an end to the last of them.

Over seventy percent of my men were on the ground. The other thirty percent quickly joined them as they sought to rest their weary bodies. As we all sat there gasping for air, I heard a faint noise that sounded like someone clapping.

I turned my head toward the sound, and noticed a balcony above the battlefield. The armed humanoids from earlier were there, but they weren’t the ones applauding our efforts. Our one-person ovation was coming from someone much shorter than the others: a stunning little woman with brown skin. Her hair was a light purple that looked almost like silver depending on how the light hit it. Noticeable even in the dim lighting, her dress was a sparkling silver color as well. She was practically glowing.

“Hegram! Good see again!” she shouted with a wave. Her voice was high-pitched, but cute. She motioned below the balcony to a second door directly opposite the one we entered.

I’d been briefed beforehand on the peculiar nature of this little girl, but I was completely at a loss. I had no idea what to do.

Hegram volunteered again. “My group will check it out, to make sure it’s safe.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’m definitely buying you a drink if we make it back.”

“When we get back, then,” he corrected me.

They checked out the room on the other side of the door, and brought back good news.

“It looks like there’s a fountain on the other side of that door, but that’s not the best part. The water seems to have healing properties. Look, we bottled some of it.” Hegram took out a waterskin and splashed the liquid inside on some of the fallen troops. In just a few seconds, they were back on their feet.

We grabbed some empty barrels from one of the supply carts, and splashed all of the fallen troops with the healing water. I found myself wishing we’d brought along the empty barrels we’d abandoned earlier. When I looked up, I noticed that the elusive Miss Grimwood was no longer watching us from her balcony. Her armed guards were gone as well.

Luckily, the area ahead also included plenty of space to rest. There were even beds available, though only a dozen of them. Each of the rooms that contained a bed also contained a chest. According to Hegram, these chests were similar to the chests he and his men had obtained items from during their first visit. After some investigation, we determined that all twelve chests had identical contents: a single, unremarkable, leather bag. At least, we thought they were unremarkable at first.

It was one of Hegram’s men who made the discovery.

“Hey chief, don’t make a huge deal out of this, but these bags hold a lot more than they look like they can. I think there’s somethin’ special about ’em after all.” He was speaking in a low voice, but I still overheard it. I quickly intervened.

“Let’s not make a fuss,” I said. “It seems like these bags have some unique properties we’ll need to experiment with later, but keep that to yourselves. We wouldn’t want any conflict to break out over it if the men learn what they can do.”

“Good point,” Hegram agreed.

Each of us took two of the bags, and I made sure none of the troops made a fuss about it. Perhaps farther in there would be rewards we could share with the men. Here’s hoping we find booze.

Chapter Eight: The Adorable Dungeon Master Entertains Guests

About a week after I escaped from prison, I was flying over the forest, looking for good spots to place towers, when I noticed a huge mass of people moving in my general direction. I’m not the smartest cutie in the world or anything, but I figured there weren’t many things they could be here for. So I called Team Apple together, and we had a meeting.

“They’re sending an army after you? The insolence!”

Yeah, Ringo was pretty upset, and it sounded like the rest of the group wasn’t super happy about it either.

“Maybe the troops are there to help deal with the monsters, and they just want to talk things over,” I suggested. “Those monsters are really nasty, right?”

“Your Majesty, it would be lovely if that were the case, but I sincerely doubt it,” Mela said. I could see her point, but I still wanted to be optimistic.

“Okay, here’s what we’ll do,” I decided. “I’m gonna use whatever points we have saved up to connect some towers together and make them a nice, safe passage. That way, if they’re here to talk, we can do that. Before we let them into the main tower, I’ll have a huge room filled with Sprigumdrops. We’ll take advantage of their numbers and have a massive battle. If they’re only here to fight, they’ll retreat after they take a certain number of losses. If they’re willing to talk, they should stay and fight them.”

“How does that work?” Pomme asked.

“Good question, Pomme. You see, humans tend to believe that other people think like they do, so if they’re here to kill us, they’ll assume we want to kill them. If they’re only here to talk, they’ll think we won’t hurt them too badly.”

“That sounds really stupid,” said Pomme. But she was about the only minion I had who was ever so blunt with me. Meanwhile, Ringo was more of a blind loyalist.

“Pomme!” he exclaimed indignantly. “Don’t disrespect Her Majesty!”

“It’s okay, Ringo. I asked you all here to talk this over with you and gather your opinions. Besides, I’m not planning to leave myself defenseless. I’ve been meaning to get you all some better gear for a while, and I should have the points to upgrade the outfitter.”

So I finally got to give Team Apple the makeover I wanted. Normally, at around level ten Sprigoblin Irregulars upgraded to Faegoblin Irregulars and started to diversify their weapons a bit. They also became more slender. Team Apple pretty much already looked like that, so I didn’t know what would happen once I boosted their levels. So, I tried it out. I raised them to level ten, and boom: Their class changed to “Fairy Queen’s Royal Guard” and they all got a little bit taller. I was now really short in comparison. These new forms also came with some serious muscle. Even the girls were ripped. Pomme had abs, a whole eight pack of them. The definition was crazy.

So instead of becoming Faegoblin Irregulars, they became royal guards... I wonder how their paths would diverge if I leveled them up even higher.

Once I’d finished my upgrades, we all went to the outfitter, and they each picked out some new gear.

Since I’d upgraded the mine and outfitter as much as I could while I was away, Hammer was able to produce some seriously awesome gear for Team Apple. They looked so cool in their black metal armor. Apparently it was made of a material called Sprigiron, and it had magical properties.

Ringo was using a bigger sword now. To a human, I suppose it would only be a broadsword, but it was almost as long as Ringo was, so to him it was more like a great sword. Before you say, “Such a big sword wouldn’t work if you drew it from the back,” calm down. The scabbard here was special. Most of the back side of it was open, and once the sword was just a little bit out, it was easy to pull the rest free. I asked Hammer how it didn’t just fall out while he was moving around, and apparently there were these little spikes at the top that held the guard in place. So it wasn’t going to come loose unless he was turned upside-down.

Anyway, Pomme got herself a spear and a sturdy shield, and I put her hair in a side-pony. The blade of her spear was made of Sprigiron, while the shaft was made of ironwood, the same material Hammer and Herc were made of. Her shield was a composite of those two materials as well. Mela was still rocking a regular ponytail, and she got a short sword and round shield. Manzana got a huge battleaxe along with some spiky armor that was a lot like Ringo’s. After their makeover, the two boys looked so macho.

Even though Manzana didn’t really talk a lot, from observing the way they were behaving around each other, I got the notion that he and Pomme might be romantically interested in each other...

“How do I look?” she would ask him, cheeks full of maidenly blush, as she tried on each new piece of armor. Her eyes were clearly looking for his approval.

For his part, Manzana just smiled and nodded most of the time, but maybe that was part of what she liked. She blushed even more as he nodded at each aspect of her new look.

In contrast, Ringo was often loud and boisterous, and really liked to show off. Especially to me. He was like a kid who wanted his mother to put a picture he drew in crayon on the fridge with a magnet.

Anyway, once Team Apple had their new gear, I started working on the pathway to the main tower. It wasn’t really difficult. At first I just concentrated on making a big, long tunnel, but then I started to think about how the animals in the area might not be able to get around it easily. I ended up having it ramp upward, almost like a bridge, and then come back down once it got to the area in front of the main tower. The incline was very subtle; I knew they had carts with them, and didn’t want to overburden their animals. I just thought of it as making everything wheelchair accessible, but much wider, and that seemed to work out. I also added washrooms, drinking fountains, and places to stop and rest along the way. Moving a large group of people always took longer than making the same trip by yourself.

You might be wondering how all of that worked without indoor plumbing. Fortunately, it wasn’t really all that difficult to set up. First of all, when I added a water feature, such as a sink or a fountain, the root structure of my tower would connect to various underground waterways. From there, the water was filtered by passing through the tower’s internal structure, and came out nice and clean on the other end. As for any waste, liquid waste was filtered again and converted into nutrients for the tower itself, while the truly unusual parts would be deposited harmlessly beneath the tower to replace soil drained of nutrients. At least, that’s what the help section said when I looked it up!

I didn’t really have the points or the space to do anything too fancy with it, but the safe road to the tower was completed pretty quickly. Once that was out of the way, I needed to create a place for the soldiers to duke it out with some monsters. After all, if I wanted to give them some cool stuff, they needed to slay monsters worth an appropriate amount of points. So I linked about twenty or so towers together and raised them all up a floor, then gave the whole thing a mostly open floor plan. Since they were nice and cheap, I filled the area with Sprigumdrops. Without the memory limitations of the game, I was literally able to spawn thousands of them. Looking to maximize the points I gained, I kept about half of them at level one, thirty percent at level two, ten percent at level three, five percent at level four, three percent at level five, one percent at level six, and half a percent each of levels seven and eight. I was worried that the higher-level ones would be too tough, but I wanted to test how “strength in numbers” played out here—especially since you couldn’t have a literal army invade your tower all at once in the game.

As for rewards, I still wasn’t into the idea of weapons as treasure, so I arranged for another item instead. In the game, “Fairy’s Magic Bag” increased your item carrying capacity by ten spaces, but each of those spaces could hold an infinite quantity of a single item. I was really curious to see how they worked in this world. It would be a bummer if they worked like a normal bag, but if they were able to hold way more than it looked like they could, I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about setting potions as rewards in other chests. Plus, if they worked close to the way they did in the game, they wouldn’t be heavy no matter what was inside of them.

I created twelve bedrooms in the area past the battle arena, and put a chest in each one containing a single magic bag. The idea was that only the most important people in the army would get to use the rooms, so they would end up with the bags. I also added a wide area where the rest of the troops could take a break, complete with a healing fountain. You saw things like that in games sometimes—a seemingly ordinary fountain, but when you drank from it, your health was restored. This worked similarly to a normal fountain, plumbing-wise, but the water was imbued with healing properties just before it emerged from the spout.

Beyond the wide room was the main tower, which was now several ten-story-tall dungeons joined together. The facilities on the ground floor there were top-notch, and these guys would get to enjoy them as long as they played nice.

As it turned out, I could make just about anything if I had enough points. Even modern conveniences from my old life could be recreated to an extent using magic. The main reason there were so many options was that I could literally make almost anything I’d ever seen before, even if I didn’t fully understand how it worked. Thanks to that, the kitchen had some very modern looking appliances: a blender, mixer, juicer, grinder, coffee maker, dishwasher, burners—even a magical oven. I swear, I didn’t only load up the kitchen with cool stuff because I had a major crush on the chef. It was purely out of a selfish desire to eat things closer to what I ate back in my first life.

The kitchen wasn’t the only place that got upgraded. Bedrooms now had touch activated lamps, so the occupant could turn the lights off to sleep. I also made improvements to the toilets. A more comfortable seat, easier cleanup, and a magic item that got rid of unpleasant smells while filling the room with a sweet scent became standard features. Each had a bidet function and toilet paper that never ran out. Before, the toilets had been much more plain—they had been basically just a hole with a special Sprigumdrop at the bottom to clean up the mess. These new ones were even better than modern bathrooms back in my original world. At the time, I wasn’t thinking “I want the best toilets in the world!”—I just wanted to see what I could do with my powers, and I happened to end up with the best toilets in the world. As for the waste, the new system broke it down, filtered it, and turned it into nutrients for the towers.

Wait, if it’s all being used, can it really be called waste anymore?

I didn’t know what sort of currency the humans here used, or what sort of value they placed on it. Eventually, I wanted to be able to trade goods and services with them, but I couldn’t start doing that without a better idea of what things were worth. Otherwise I could set prices too low or too high, or end up letting my people get ripped off.

Anyway, I spent the days before the army arrived making various little improvements, and they finally entered the tunnel I’d prepared. I was fairly confident they’d choose my nice, safe tunnel over a creepy forest swarming with deadly monsters. Seriously, while I was outside making more towers, a huge snake appeared, and just its head was bigger than I was. Speaking of its head, Ringo chopped that right off. It wasn’t as bad as my encounter with the bear, but blood still went everywhere. I let Ringo off with a light scolding, since he was just trying to protect me, then had his squad bring the snake’s corpse to Hammer for processing. The bones and skin could be turned into weapons and armor. The meat was essentially useless to us, but I had it taken to Bistro to see if he could make something nice for our human guests.

Oh yeah, the guests. Everything pretty much worked out as planned, and the humans followed the tunnel until they reached the huge arena I’d set up. On my orders, Ringo warned them of the danger. It turned out that the skill I had for understanding my subordinates was a two-way street, so in other words, we shared our levels of language understanding. If one of us learned a new word, we all knew it. That made learning languages way easier. If I could get all of those humans to talk to my cute little minions, we could learn the language through immersion super-fast. Unfortunately the conversation between Ringo and the human visitors was pretty short, but I noticed Hegram and his men in the group talking to him. I was glad to see them, and hoped they’d be willing to work with me some more.

As the battle began, I was positioned on a balcony in a special booster seat—er, throne, so I could see over the railing. Even though I was flanked by a whole bunch of guards, we all watched the proceedings in silence. It took about two hours from start to finish. When it was over, I gave them a standing ovation, but my guards didn’t join in, so it probably wasn’t very loud. Early on the humans took a big lead, but I was a bit worried there at the end, since the numerical advantage didn’t really work out for them. The lower level Sprigumdrops died fairly quickly, but the higher the level, the longer they survived, and the more humans they knocked out in the process. Hegram’s group were definitely the heroes of the battle. Without them, the humans might have been totally wiped out.

Well, there was one other guy who held his own. He seemed like he might be the army’s leader. I was curious about him, but any conversation was going to have to wait.

After the battle, there was a long rest break. They found the healing fountain, and got all the humans who’d fallen unconscious back on their feet. Hegram’s group ended up with most of the magic bags; the other two went to the leader guy whose name I didn’t know. There was more resting, and then they entered the main tower, where I had picnic tables prepared, and Bistro set out plates with servings of giant snake meat. Bistro couldn’t taste test his own work, but he’d prepared the meat by breading and deep-frying it like chicken, then sprinkling it with lemon juice. I probably haven’t mentioned it, but I’d summoned more Sprigourmet chefs after Bistro, I just hadn’t named them—one “man of my dreams” was enough. So he had plenty of help getting all of those plates ready.

Once the soldiers figured out there was hot food available, they threw caution to the wind and dug right in. There were some who seemed worried about poison, but they quickly joined in when they saw everyone else enjoying themselves with no ill effects. Of course, we didn’t really have enough space to feed a whole army at once, so they kinda had to eat in shifts. In a way, the language barrier worked out for us here; if I’d told them they were being served snake and they didn’t want to eat it, I would have felt bad.

For those who asked for more, I had Bistro serve a nice dessert. Those chocolate covered strawberries were a big hit. I noticed that some of the soldiers pocketed the metal tableware we set out, but I was okay with it. I’d noticed that before many of them ate with either wooden utensils or none at all. And if they harbored guilt or gratitude for the “gifts” they’d received, they might be less likely to attack us.

Hegram and his group showed up well after the feasting was already underway, and I had them escorted to a special dining area away from the riffraff. I planned to eat with them personally, to improve my language comprehension skills.

The circular table in the special dining room was more elegant than the long picnic tables in the main area. There was a candelabra, with a trio of lit candles in the center, atop a white table cloth. My chair was almost a bar stool, to make sure I could sit level with the much taller humans.

When the humans filed into the room, they looked surprised to see me. I was surprised too—Hegram had brought leader-guy with him. I called over a guard and told them to inform the kitchen that we’d need another place setting. A few moments later, a member of the kitchen staff appeared and set another place at the table. Once that was done, I motioned for the humans to sit and join me, and the food was brought out.

They were served the choicest cuts of the snake meat, while I essentially skipped straight to dessert. Those strawberries were the best. The mood was a bit awkward, so I tried to start up a conversation.

“Hegram, good see again.” I felt like a character in a caveman movie. I was trying my best, but I didn’t quite have the sentence structure down, and my vocabulary was missing a lot of words.

Hegram didn’t seem to mind, though. He said something I couldn’t translate—probably the equivalent of “Likewise” if I had to guess. Then he motioned over to the leader-guy. “Sedriz,” he said.

Ah, so leader-guy’s name is Sedriz. Good to know.

“Sedriz. Good. Meet.”

AAAAGH! I was so embarrassed. It was all part of the language learning process, but my poor dignity was in tatters. They had to think I was such a moron. Please have patience with non-native language speakers, they’re usually trying their best!

The humans seemed to enjoy the food, and after dinner they were more than happy to talk with me. I wasn’t able to follow the entire conversation, but the gist of it was that the ruler of the town I had visited wanted me to come back. Apparently he hadn’t known I was locked up, and he wanted to apologize in person. If you ask me, sending such a huge army to “persuade” someone to come listen to an apology was a bit heavy-handed...but it wasn’t like he could really hurt me if he tried, so I agreed to go back. My guards were not happy about it, but I wanted to pursue a peaceful relationship with our neighbors, at least for now.

Ideally, they’d be able to send people to the forest to visit the towers, kill monsters, and buy goods. In return, maybe we could buy fruit from them. Okay, it wasn’t perfect, but I was betting this huge, monster-infested forest was pretty problematic in terms of trade. If I were to open up a safe trade route, our neighbors surely stood to profit. Faster, safer trade would mean better lives for the people. I could also charge a toll for using it, which would help cover my nonexistent costs... I wondered if I should start paying my minions. Did they even want to be paid? What would they even buy?

I guess we had something like a communist society right now, with everyone working for the greater good without expecting anything in return... Actually, it was really more like they were all my slaves, and I was just a tyrannical dictator. When I put it that way, I guess I’d never really thought that deeply into it... Maybe I shouldn’t have just accepted it.

What if I made some places for them to relax? There could be a swimming pool, and a spa, and then I could give them some sort of currency to spend on their time off. Wait, did they get time off? I mean, they did take breaks in between expeditions. Did they even want time off?

You know, I probably need to get to know my people a lot better, otherwise they may start to resent me.

From Another Point of View Part 7: King Savla Doma III

Lilac Grimwood’s arrival in our world was nearly twenty years after I became king of Doma, and prior to that, I’d like to think I’d done a good job as ruler. Unfortunately, not everyone saw it that way, and there was a faction of nobles that seemed intent on seeing me abdicate. None of them had ever been so bold as to oppose me directly, but there had been hidden signs. Luckily, my kingdom had a robust and trustworthy information network. In over three hundred years, this kingdom had yet to see a king overthrown, and the existence of our underground covert operatives played a huge role in that. They had eyes and ears everywhere, and kept the king well-informed about those with ill intentions.

Lately they bring a great deal of news about my elder brother.

My brother Finlaud was older than me by around two years, and as a child, he always believed he’d be king one day. In our youth he often competed with me, eager to prove his prowess. Unfortunately he had a very slight build, and quickly realized he was mostly inept in battle. Undeterred, he took to learning strategy: If he couldn’t lead troops from the front, he’d command them from the rear. He studied everything he could in an effort to become a great military leader. Sadly—at least from his perspective—our country had known very little violence since it was founded three hundred years ago.

Geographically, we were situated at the southern end of the continent of Ausbarl, and to our north lay the expansive Grimwood region. Since the forest acted as a natural deterrent to our northern neighbors, no foreign power had ever once attempted an invasion in our three-hundred-year history. Our coastline was mostly made up of sheer cliffs, so there weren’t many places an enemy force could make landfall by sea. Those that did exist were well fortified and defended. Even if an enemy were foolish enough to overlook that, the deeper parts of the oceans were full of gigantic monstrosities that could sink even the sturdiest warships. The only boats that ever made it to port were small, agile skimmers that stuck near the coast. So my brother eventually realized he would never gain any glory in war.

The war stories he was so fond of as a child were all from before the founding, when our forefathers unified the southern part of the continent. Since history was written by the victors, it was hard to say if my ancestors were righteous or not, but ultimately, regardless of their intentions, Doma was founded as a single unified nation at the southern edge of the continent. Some of the noble families in the kingdom carried within them the lineages of the rulers of the countries Doma had absorbed, and many of them despised the crown for stealing away their birthright, though they never admitted so publicly. Finlaud was drawn to these self-important nobles, and befriended them. If there was one area he was gifted in, it was managing the aristocracy. However, this wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

Ultimately, our father determined that Finlaud was ill-suited to ruling a country. My brother often made comments about commoners that made it clear he saw them as less than human. He’d boast loudly and often about what sorts of new laws he wanted to put in place as king, and they were usually terrible. Father tried time and again to correct him, but Finlaud refused to change his ways. He saw the people as tools to be used, mere pieces on a game board for him to move. That was not the proper mindset for a king. When my father inevitably named me as his heir, Finlaud was devastated.

I was certain he felt blindsided and betrayed, but it was his own fault. If he’d applied himself to learning about what it meant to rule a kingdom, instead of what it took to defeat an enemy or how to win over the noble class, he could have been a wonderful king.

Since then, though, his desire for the throne had never waned. After my coronation, whenever I met with an informant from the kingdom’s information network in secret, my brother was invariably the primary topic of conversation.

“Duke Finlaud has dispatched the vast majority of his forces, around eighty percent, to the Grimwood, to retrieve this so-called queen,” my informant reported. “It’s been nearly two weeks since they left. The spies near your brother report that he grows more anxious by the day. With all the military strategy he’s studied, he should know how long it takes to move a force like that.”

I sighed. “What are the chances he’s trying to do only what’s best for the kingdom, and isn’t plotting anything beyond that?”

“Close to zero, Your Majesty.”

“I feared as much. I never thought Finlaud’s desire to prove himself would lead him to such rash action. In our kingdom’s rich history, many men have sent armies into the Grimwood, to try and cull the monsters there. Every single attempt ended in disaster. Does this queen really have the ability to change the situation there?”

“Duke Finlaud certainly seems to think so. Either that, or he hopes to turn her against you somehow. We’ve received reports about the towers this little queen supposedly created. More and more of them continue to appear in the Grimwood. Every time our scouts survey the area, they find at least half a dozen that weren’t there when they last checked. The monsters inside become stronger as the tower gets taller, from what we’ve been able to determine. We’ve yet to confirm any of the semi-spherical monsters leaving the towers. They seem to have their own territories inside that they won’t move away from. Regardless of how many of them are killed, the monsters eventually return as though nothing happened.”

“Have any of your scouts or spies actually seen this queen?” I asked.

“Unfortunately, when she was imprisoned she was held in the deepest dungeon the duke could spare, with only a single guard. We couldn’t get anyone close enough to get a look at her. We thought we had an opportunity when one of the guards arrived for his shift drunk, but apparently the queen used that same happening to escape. We’ve been unable to verify exactly how she got out.”

“I feel as though my brother is playing with fire. He won’t understand that he’s not really in control until everything he’s worked for has been consumed by the flames.” I frowned. “Do everything you can to contact this little queen. The future of the kingdom may depend on what sort of relationship we forge with her. We can’t allow my brother to be the one to represent the kingdom in this matter. Tell your men they are authorized to arrest him should he show any overt signs of treason—in the worst-case scenario, they may execute him on the spot. That is how dire the situation has become. I will bear full responsibility should it come to that.”

“You needn’t worry; if it comes to that, we will take measures to ensure that a suitable culprit is held accountable.”

“A ‘suitable culprit’?” I repeated, uneasy.

“One of the nobles who conspire against the crown, of course. There are any number of ways to pin the blame on those treasonous cowards.”

“I-I see. I shall leave it to you then.”

It was always a bit unnerving when one of my agents casually mentioned doing something like that. To them, it was business as usual, the type of thing their ancestors did time and again to safeguard the kingdom. To me, it was an unsavory yet necessary truth. The ugly dark side of being a monarch. My brother was totally unaware of its existence—otherwise he might have been more cautious about what he said, and who he spoke to.

I felt as though he was tightening the noose around his own neck, and I could do nothing but watch. It still grieved me. Even though he would gladly wish the same on me, he was still my brother. To disregard such ties entirely took more courage than I could muster.

Still, if my brother held aspirations for the throne, that meant he wanted not only me out of the way, but my children as well—and I would never allow that. No matter what sort of devious plan he had in store, I would protect my children and this kingdom with my very life. Even if it meant history would look back and say I was underhanded, I would not allow harm to come to either.

I couldn’t help but wonder when exactly this ambition began. Was it the very moment father appointed me as his successor, or did he waver a bit first, thinking he might have to harm his own family? If I was able to speak to him again before this was all over, I supposed I’d have to ask him. I wondered if he would answer me honestly.

Who was this Miss Grimwood? Where did she come from? What were her plans? She could very well be the greatest threat to the kingdom. If only there were a way to invite her here so we could have a discussion. I’d heard she didn’t speak Ausbarlian, as most denizens of the continent did. I believed I had a few court scholars who studied language, though—I could only think that they’d be delighted to speak with her and try to interpret her words.

I’d heard she seemed interested in learning Ausbarlian as well. If I had the chance, I thought, I should try to arrange a meeting. No—I must arrange one, for the future of the kingdom.

Chapter Nine: The Adorable Dungeon Master Has a Meeting

Maybe I should have tried to get them to complete a trip through the main tower before we left... But I supposed regrets would have to wait until later.

My minions were understandably worried about me visiting the human city alone again. If the situation had been a bit different, I would have loved to take them along, but it was actually safer for me to go alone. If I brought guards, and they ended up being captured or held hostage, I could be coerced into doing all sorts of things. Alone, I could just teleport back home if things went south.

Unfortunately, the human army insisted I travel along with them, even though I could reach the city much faster with a Way-Point Flower warp. I could beat them there by more than two weeks if I wanted. Flying would get me there faster too.

In the end, I settled for warping back home each night to sleep in my own bed. I could create Way-Point Flowers from any plant near the camp, so I could always rejoin them each morning. In a way, I was actually glad to be traveling with them, since it gave me a chance to learn more of their language. Once I effectively learned how to say “What’s this?” and I was able to ask the names of objects fairly easily, my vocabulary improved quite a bit. The humans learned fairly quickly what I was trying to do, and most seemed pretty enthusiastic about helping. Of course, there was no way to become totally fluent in just a two- or three-week-long trip, but I think I improved quite a bit.

Eventually, we reached the city. I tried to ask its name, but I wasn’t sure if they told me what that particular settlement was called or just the generic word for “city.” This time, with my military escort, I was able to bypass the guards at the gate, and they led me straight to the huge mansion in the center of the city. There were sturdy stone walls around it, but it was definitely more of a mansion than a castle.

I’d been here once before, but this time, instead of being led straight to the prison underneath it, I was being escorted through the front gate. As the army entered the city, most of the men were dismissed and allowed to return to their homes. By the time we reached the mansion, the escort was fairly small—only about a dozen men, along with Sedriz, and Hegram and his group.

Once we were allowed inside, my escort shrunk again, so now it was only Hegram’s group and Sedriz accompanying me. It made sense. There were plenty of soldiers inside the mansion—nowhere near enough to stop me if I went on a rampage and decided to level the place, though. I wasn’t planning to do that, of course, so I kept that part to myself.

Inside the building, the trappings of wealth were everywhere. Pretty paintings, golden candlesticks and goblets, and expensive looking vases and sculptures decorated every room and hallway we passed through. Eventually, I was led to what I believed was the lord’s study. I wasn’t sure what rank he was, but I knew he was pretty important.

Sedriz knocked on the door, and a voice from the other side said something I couldn’t understand. Sedriz opened the door and led us inside. The man awaiting us was elaborately dressed, but my clothes put him to shame. On this occasion, I was dressed in a spectacular gown that changed colors constantly. Little balls of colored light would rise off of it periodically. Definitely a dress to impress. It was called “Fairy’s Prismatic Gown,” and in addition to illuminating dark places, it offered resistance against dark element attacks and regenerated health while it was equipped.

Meanwhile, the guy in front of me was super skinny, regardless of how he tried to hide it with those puffy sleeves of his. His face was long and mean looking, not what I’d consider attractive. He had a pointy little mustache that made him look like a cliché villain from a cheesy television drama from the 1960s or something, and he had stringy, dark-blond hair that didn’t seem well taken care of.

Not having access to proper shampoo must be rough.

Still, I was willing to bet that in this world he was considered quite the catch as far as marriage was concerned. With his wealth and position, I was sure he had to be used to having his pick of the ladies. I wondered if he was already married—I found out later that he wasn’t.

He spoke to me, but I couldn’t really understand any of it. I could pick out a word or two here and there, but the context was a mystery. I guessed he was using a lot of difficult words that nobles used to feel superior to those around them. His sentences were punctuated with sweeping gestures whose meanings also eluded me. After his grand speech ended, he motioned for everyone to leave the room. As the men turned to leave, I tried to go with them, but they stopped me. Apparently the lord wanted a private meeting with me. Hopefully he’d use easier words once we were alone...

Yeah, hold on to that dream. He’s still talking, and I have no idea what he’s saying. He’s smiling a lot, so I guess he’s enjoying himself. I’m not sure if he’s apologized for locking me up yet, but if he has, I don’t think he really meant it. He hasn’t looked sad or remorseful even once since I got here.

I’m not sure what they told him about my language comprehension skills, but he sure likes to hear himself talk. He could make this speech to the wall and it would be just as effective. Oh, he’s getting down on one knee now, is he finally going to apologize? Now that I can look into his eyes, I don’t like the look he’s giving me. Hey watch where you put those hands, buddy!

Luckily I was quick on the draw with my dome-shaped barrier spell before Lord Grabby Hands could grope my chest.

“Medo!”

He was thrown backward as my barrier suddenly expanded, and he wasn’t happy about it. From his position on the floor, he started yelling, and armed guards filled the room.

I tried to explain what happened, but I wasn’t able to use the right words. My gestures were probably just as confusing, since I was so flustered. The guards surrounded me, but I didn’t really feel like another extended stay in prison, so I warped home.

What a mess. So much for peaceful relations. What I really needed was to study up on the language more.

Once I was back home, I called a meeting. The attendees were basically everyone I’d given a name to so far, with the exception of Maple, because she was still tethered to the garden on the roof. I was worried about having Bistro there, but I planned to avoid eye contact. Yeah, that was the best I could do. I could have just not invited him, but I wanted to get a broad perspective. If it were just the warriors there, I could see it turning into a “Let’s just kill him!” hate-fest really quickly.

Once everyone was gathered around, I explained what had happened. When I got to the part about the lord trying to grab my chest, Ringo exploded.

“I told you we should have come along!”

“If you all had come along, things would have only gotten more complicated,” I insisted. “Because I was alone, I was able to escape without anyone being hurt.”

I’d already explained this, but it seemed like Ringo and the others weren’t satisfied with the answer.

“P-Please rely on us more!” he begged. “You do far too much by yourself, Your Majesty! We all live to serve you, and would gladly die for your sake!”

Everyone else in the room nodded as though that were a natural thing to say.

“Do you think that would make me happy?!” I exclaimed. “The thought of losing even one of you makes my heart hurt! Right now I’m stronger than all of you put together. The best way for any of you to protect me is to remain alive and happy. Protect my heart from the grief of losing you! My body will be fine. I called you all here because I wanted to understand your feelings. You all do so much for me and get next to nothing in return. You’re practically slaves! I want to make your lives better, and give you more time to relax and have fun.”

“Th-That won’t make us happy!” said Ringo. “What makes us happiest is being of use to you. When you praise us for a job well done, it brings us more joy than anything else. Please don’t say you want us to do even less than we do now!”

Everyone nodded along with him again. Even though we could all speak the same languages, I couldn’t understand them. They didn’t want anything in return? Not even something as basic as some time off? It seemed like they were crazy, until I realized they really were like children seeking their parent’s approval—or maybe like religious zealots trying to please their deity. They wanted to be loved and respected more than anything else. Once I thought of it that way, it made much more sense. I remembered learning my first words other than English or Spanish, and how proud my mother had been. Her smile had made me so happy.

That’s what it was. Love was what drove them. I was the most important thing to them, even more important than their own lives.

“Very well,” I said. “I won’t force you to take time off of work, on two conditions. First, if you do want some time off, or anything else, you’ll let me know. Second, don’t throw your lives away in a misguided attempt to protect me. Even if you can be revived, I don’t want any of you to die for nothing. As long as you follow these two rules, I won’t force you to take any time off. If I find out anyone has deliberately broken either of these rules, I’ll order that person to take a weeklong vacation.”

Everyone seemed pleased with my decision. I admit, it felt weird threatening them with free time, but it helped me understand my minions a bit better.

Next came the discussion of what to do about the lecherous lord.

“All right, let’s gather up an army and—”

“Ringo, that’s a violation of rule number two,” I told him firmly. “Did you need some time off?”

“N-no!” he protested. “We’re stronger than them, so why can’t we just raise an army and attack their city?”

More nods from the rest of them. Even you Bistro? I’m so disappointed.

“The reason is very simple,” I said. “Let’s see if any of you can come up with it.”

After a few moments of silence, Pomme raised her hand.

“Yes, Pomme.”

“Is it because a war would hurt a lot of innocent people who had nothing to do with it?”

“That’s absolutely correct!”

Ringo stood up, slamming his open palms into the table for emphasis. “It’s their own fault for serving that pervert, and allowing him to rule over them!” He was thinking some seriously violent thoughts.

I hummed thoughtfully. “Hmm. Maybe I need to add some more rules. Like ‘no hurting or killing innocent people to prove a point’—or rather, for any reason at all.”

“I get it,” said Pomme. “So what are we going to do about it then? You can’t mean to just do nothing.”

Ah, there’s a good question.

“Economic sanctions,” I said.

Silence filled the room.

“Forgive my ignorance, but how are we to sanction them?” Bistro asked. He was looking at me like I was defective somehow.

Ah, Bistro, don’t look at me like that. It’s not a dumb idea, I promise.

“I’ll set up dungeons around the perimeter of their city, and install a toll gate.”

“That sounds really du—” Pomme began.

“I wasn’t finished, Pomme. It doesn’t seem like they raise much food inside of the city itself, so we tax any incoming foodstuffs. If people want to leave town, we allow them to, free of charge, but we charge a hefty fee for entering. The idea is to get most of the innocent people to leave the city.”

“Ah! So then we can go punish that nasty human!” Ringo blurted out as he realized the brilliance of my plan.

“If he doesn’t come to us first,” Bistro added.

“Your Majesty! Please, forgive us for ever doubting you!” wailed Ringo, bowing deeply.

There were tears flowing all around the table. It seemed as though everyone there was moved by how kind and generous I was to give the innocents a way to escape the violence. I still thought it would be better if we could just learn to communicate better, but I couldn’t let this go unpunished. Lord Lusty Pants needed some serious consequences.

“I’m so glad I got to participate,” Ursa whispered quietly.

Huh? Ursa? Hate to break it to you, but you didn’t really say anything throughout the entire meeting, so you didn’t really participate...

That night, before bed, I set up a circle of towers around the city, then a line of towers leading to the forest. When I went to sleep, I told Redimir what happened...and had nearly the same exact discussion with him. He wanted to raze the city to the ground immediately. Why were all of my subordinates so darned violent? I supposed it would have been worse if they were all tree-hugging pacifists, but still. I didn’t even know what the city was called.

When I woke up, I started linking the towers I’d set up the previous night together with Adjoin, creating a wall. Then I made them all taller. The finishing touch was the gatehouse. With my gigantic wall made from adjoined towers, I now controlled all traffic in and out of the city. If anyone wanted to enter or leave, they needed to go through my gate. There was a path through the tower labyrinth, of course, but I filled it with level ten Faegoblins. If anyone could make it through that unscathed, they deserved to pass through.

From Another Point of View Part 8: Duke Finlaud Once More

The Grimwood expedition returned, and they were apparently quite successful. I was elated. They sent a messenger ahead to relay the good news, so I still had time to prepare. I wondered what sort of collar would be the right size for my new pet’s neck. After putting me through this much trouble, she should have been happy to avoid execution.

There was no reason to hold back any longer. Once they brought her to me, I’d make her mine, and with her under my control, I’d be able to conquer the entire Grimwood region. Then, once the foolish commoners saw how skilled I was, they’d be clamoring for my brother to abdicate. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself as I imagined my first few days on the throne.

Perhaps I should make a list of insolent nobles to execute once I became king. There’d be no reason to hold back. Anyone who’d ever wronged me would find their head on the chopping block. I wondered how many wives I’d end up with. Surely at least a dozen. Then, of course, there would be concubines like little Miss Grimwood.

Ah, Finlaud you old fox, you’ll have them lined up all the way from here to the royal capital, begging for your favor.

Everyone who had ever looked down on me, or compared me unfavorably to my brother, would be expunged. Those who supported me could have their daughters become my wives or concubines. What an honor for them! What a grand thought.

It was nearly two full days before the army returned to the city. They led little Miss Grimwood straight to my study, where I awaited. She was dressed in an unusual dress with fabric that shifted colors by the moment. The effect caused by the shifting hues was quite lovely. She was much as previous reports had described her: short, but well-endowed. With her height, she’d make a perfect meat-toilet.

I made a grand gesture of welcoming her, and spoke at length about just how unfortunate the earlier incident was. She remained silent, smiling with the occasional nod. The message that arrived ahead of the army said she was getting better at speaking and understanding Ausbarlian, and it seemed she was completely spellbound by my words.

She was clearly enraptured as I spoke about my deep desire to create a peaceful relationship. Once I was sure she was ready, I cleared everyone else out of the room. Now I could speak with her directly. This was the crucial part.

“My dear Miss Grimwood, let me be frank. I find you quite charming. I’ve decided to do you the honor of allowing you to become my concubine.”

She stood there completely silent, no doubt stunned by my generous offer.

“If you’re obedient, I can promise I’ll treat you well. You’ll become my cherished pet, and I’ll lavish you with affection. Together, we’ll reshape this kingdom.”

Still no response. Was she moved beyond words, or was she just an idiot?

“I don’t plan to simply remain a mere duke. With your power, we’ll tame the Grimwood, and the people will demand I become king!”

She was still just smiling and nodding. I didn’t necessarily dislike a woman who knew how to remain silent. It looked like it was time I made my move.

I lowered myself to one knee, not in submission, but simply to reach the poor creature’s eye level. From my new vantage point, I had a much better view of her bountiful bust. She was showing a bit of cleavage—practically an invitation. I reached forward, ready to sample the goods.

“There now, be a good girl and show me just how meek and submissive you can be.”

Just before my hand made contact with her ample bosom, I was suddenly thrown backward. I wasn’t not sure how, but that little beast attacked me.

No matter; if she wouldn’t become mine willingly, I’d just have to force her.

“Treacherous wench! Guards! Guards!”

The door burst open, and my soldiers flooded the room, spears at the ready. How do you like that, little Miss Grimwood?

Just as my men were about to take her prisoner, though, she suddenly vanished. Nobody had any idea what happened. She was there one moment, and gone the next. Only a few motes of light remained to mark her passing, and those vanished a moment later. She was nowhere to be found.

“That little wench attacked me!” I screeched, with great dignity. “Find her immediately!”

The guards scrambled to follow my orders. Good help is so hard to find these days.

It was a good thing we were alone when I said all of those treasonous things. If she told anyone about it, it would be her word against mine. Nobody would believe that inhuman menace against the word of the honorable Duke Finlaud.

This was the final straw. “The next time I catch that girl, she’s going to die.”

Hours passed, night fell, and no word came of her whereabouts. I went to sleep, only to be roused by an urgent banging on the door the next day. I made myself presentable as quickly as I could, and answered the door.

“This had better be good,” I spat, “or—”

“Your Grace, the city has been surrounded! We’re trapped!”

I ran to my window, and threw open the curtains. My chambers were on the fourth floor, so I could see quite far from my balcony, but I didn’t even have to open the window. A strange wall surrounded the entire city. Drab and brown, but taller than the stone city walls. These new walls encircled the city at a much wider radius, which was to our advantage. We could bring them down without any damage to the city.

“Have these new walls investigated at once,” I ordered.

“Ah, I already have a report for you regarding that, Your Grace.”

“Say that sooner next time! Well, what is it?”

“The guards have carried out a thorough examination of the walls that appeared outside of the city this morning,” the messenger explained. “It seems the only way in or out is a single gatehouse guarded by ten or so unusual creatures. These creatures are willing to allow people to leave town freely, but charge a toll to any who attempt to enter. The toll is apparently based on what the traveler happens to be carrying. If they have fruit, the creatures take nearly half of it. If they have coin, only a small percentage. If they have other wares, the creatures seem to help themselves to whatever they like.”

“This is outrageous! They can’t charge a toll to enter my city!”

“There’s more, sir. Apparently anyone who complains about the toll, or asks why they’re being taxed, is shown a strange moving image that also replicates your voice.”

“My voice?!”

“Yes, Your Grace. The image shows you, as well, and from the reports, it isn’t very flattering.”

“What do you mean? Spit it out!”

“The moving image that speaks with your voice accosts a small woman, and boasts about plans to overthrow the king. It’s become the talk of the town.”

My anger exploded.

“That little wench! I’ll wring her neck!”

Chapter Ten: The Adorable Dungeon Master Takes a Toll

As I set up the gate, I worried about how to explain to people why we were claiming a toll. What we were doing was technically robbery, but I found a simple way to make sure they understood it was the lord’s fault.

I was able to set up a large video screen near the gate. It turned out my tablet had functions similar to what an administrator would have had in the game. I could review not only chat logs, but also video replay. The audio was intact, and I was able to set it up so that the clip would play on the screen. I couldn’t understand what the lord was saying, but the same wasn’t true for the people visiting the city.

The clip began at the moment he made everyone else leave the room, and ended after the point he tried to grab me. It was from a third person perspective, as well. I’d originally wanted to set it up to keep playing over and over again on a loop, but I decided that would be too annoying for the guards. In the end, I set it up so that there was a large green play button beneath the screen. When a guard pushed it, it would play the whole clip.

The guards themselves were originally Spriguardians, a defense-oriented Sprigoblin variant, but I upgraded them to Faeguards. They looked like regular Sprigians, but they wore heavy full plate armor. There were ten on each side of the gate, all of them level eleven. In other words, they were pretty robust. Since they controlled the gatehouse, they could limit the number of people who were allowed in at a time, so the numbers game wasn’t ever going to catch up to them. I had Ursa wait nearby, too, just in case there was any trouble.

With the overwhelming force of my gate guards and the video evidence, everyone paid the toll. Well, I say paid, but the guards basically had instructions to take fifty percent of fruit imports and five percent of other food imports. If they weren’t bringing in food, then the guards had orders to just take money. Unfortunately, we didn’t know how they valued their currency, so they just took a few of whichever coin they had the most of.

After a while, we formed a theory of which coins had the most value and which had the least. The lord’s soldiers showed up, but the guards didn’t open the gate for them. They tried going into the labyrinth, but they lost. I made sure they were only ever knocked out and sent back to the entrance, though, so nobody died. Yeah, as it turned out, I could set the violent areas of the labyrinth to “stun” rather than kill challengers.

After a few days, we noticed more people were leaving the city than entering. I figured the food situation had to be getting worse, since merchants probably lost quite a bit of money due to our tolls. I made sure to record everything we seized, and who we took it from, so that we could pay them back later.

In most cases, when the people we’d taken stuff from left the city, we returned the things we took. In the case of fruit, which would rot if it was left too long, if they didn’t return within a certain amount of time, we’d eat it ourselves and then compensate them with similar fruits later. The people seemed puzzled when we returned their stuff, but it seemed to help us avoid a lot of resentment. After a while, I think word got around that we weren’t really trying to steal things, we just wanted to limit the resources going into the city. Hence the drop in imports. I didn’t know exactly how fast information traveled in this world, but I felt like we were making progress.

I wasn’t sure how many people lived in the city, either, but I was fairly certain the food situation was beginning to deteriorate. Not much food was going in, and it seemed like they didn’t produce much within the city itself.

To help the regular people, I expanded the dungeons and made a food market near the gate. This actually worked really well, and we were able to sell a lot of fruit to the citizens. We didn’t know how to price the goods, so we went pretty cheap. The goal was to offer relief to citizens who weren’t able to afford rising prices in town. We were also able to get rid of perishable vegetables and other food we confiscated that would go bad if it was left for too long. We fairly compensated the merchants in those cases as well. In the case of meat, we would sometimes give them edible parts of monsters my Irregulars hunted in the forest, which were actually considered rare and valuable in the city. Many of them actually profited in the end because we took their stuff. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time.

After we set up our little food market, a bunch of soldiers showed up and tried to seize the food for themselves, but my guards knocked them all out.

Apparently Hegram and his group had left the city while I wasn’t looking, which was a shame—I kinda wanted to say goodbye to them before they left. Maybe they had avoided me on purpose. I wasn’t sure how close they were to the local lord, but I hoped this incident wouldn’t impact my own relationship with them.

We kept up the blockade for about two more weeks. The city was much less lively now. Many of the citizens left and didn’t come back. I actually had my Faegoblin Irregulars watching the roads to make sure people stayed safe as they fled. I was also able to determine where some other towns and villages were, and I set up Way-Point Flowers near all of them. Oh, Sprigoblins normally became Faegoblins at level ten, so I made sure to power up all of the Irregular teams that patrolled the area. Faegoblins were taller and more slender than Sprigoblins, and their skin was more blue than green. They looked a lot more reliable, as well.

As the blockade was about to enter its third week, a large military force appeared. They were dressed about the same as the local lord’s men, but they were flying a different banner. I wondered if they were reinforcements from somewhere, but I wasn’t worried. There wasn’t really anything they could do to stop me. Maybe they were here to bring the local lord to justice... The thought crossed my mind, but I brushed it off. No way things would work out that well.

Mixed in with the army was a caravan of fancy carriages, all bearing the same crest as the banners the soldiers were flying. I discussed the situation with my guards, and we decided to wait and see if this force was hostile before acting.

When the force drew closer to the gate, the carriages moved to the front. I told the guards to open the gate and allow the carriages in, but they stopped short of the entrance. A man emerged from the most elaborate carriage, flanked by guards. He wore an ornate but tasteful blue robe and a red mantle. His face was adorned with a full beard, but it was well maintained. Atop his head was a golden crown, and at his belt was what looked to be a sheathed broadsword. His blond hair reminded me of the local lord’s, but his was much healthier looking. This man was definitely a king, or whatever they called them here.

What if he’s a body double? I mean, I have no idea what their king here looks like in the first place, so it’s a possibility. Still, I wonder what he does to his hair? Do they have shampoo here after all? Maybe I could produce and sell all-natural shampoo. What about other cosmetics? I bet I could. When I want something, I seem to be able to recreate it pretty faithfully, even if I have no idea how the original thing worked. That’s why I can enjoy things like chocolate and coffee. If I want to create a machine that could process fruits into shampoo, I bet the dungeon would magic it right up. I should try that out later. Oh, it looks like the king wants to talk.

I approached without my guards and he did the same. It seemed he didn’t want to pass through the gate, and I didn’t blame him. Once he was through the outer gate, we’d have been able to trap him inside; he’d have been at our mercy until we opened either the outer or inner gate to let him out. Similarly, I would have been up against their whole army if I went outside the gatehouse. So we basically stood on either side of the opened outer gate. (The gate, by the way, was the kind you raised and lowered. There were sharp points at the bottom, so it’d have been really bad if it got dropped on you.)

There sure were a lot of old bearded guys around the king. Were they wizards? Scholars? Santa Claus impersonators? Okay, probably not the last one. Maybe they were his advisors, or something like that. Anyway, there weren’t a bunch of people pointing weapons at me, so we were definitely off to a great start.

The king put his hand over his heart, and spoke.

“Savla Doma.”

Was that a greeting? Did Savla mean king? Maybe Doma meant king, and Savla was his name. Maybe the whole thing was just his name. What if it was just a greeting? I really need to learn this language. Whatever, I’ll just respond.

“Lilac Grimwood.” I put my hand over my own heart as I introduced myself.

He moved like he was going to lower himself to my eye level, but the old guys freaked out. I immediately realized the problem: A king shouldn’t lower himself before anyone. So I deployed my wings and gently lifted myself to his eye level. Everyone except my guys just stared in shock. I guess this was the first time I’d ever really shown any humans my wings. It must have surprised them.

I still wasn’t confident in my language skills, so I decided to try speaking the old language I’d learned from Redimir. I hoped that they would be able to understand it better than my broken modern speech, since I was more fluent in the older tongue.

“Could you please state the purpose for your visit?” It was a relatively harmless question, and I spoke slowly, to be better understood. To my surprise, one of the old men came forward and spoke to the king. Then the king replied to him, and the old man spoke to me.

“We have journeyed here from the royal capital of Doma in order to meet with you, Lilac of Grimwood,” he said.

An interpreter! The king had brought along a guy who could understand the old language! I could have kissed him! We could finally have a real conversation. I was super stoked to have my first actual chat with a human in this world.

I was a bit confused by his wording, though. “Is Grimwood a place?” I asked.

“Are you not named for the forest in which you dwell?”

“Wait, is that huge forest called Grimwood too? What a coincidence. I had no idea.”

“So you do not claim to be the sovereign of the Grimwood region?”

“Well, I am the ruler of my people, and we do live there now,” I mused. “So I suppose I am sort of claiming it, but only because I figured nobody else wanted it. I mean, it’s crawling with dangerous monsters, right? I figured I could set up a safe path through the woods, and charge a toll for passage.”

The interpreter was doing a great job, this conversation was going really well. Seriously, this guy was my new hero.

“Currently, the border between our nation and the countries to the north is the river that flows through the Grimwood,” he explained on the king’s behalf. “We would like to negotiate with regards to how the borders will change.”

“I’m happy to negotiate,” I said. “I’m thrilled just to be able to carry on a normal conversation. Before that, though, I’d like for something to be done about the local lord.”

“Ah, yes, we heard there was some sort of incident. We came to verify the truth for ourselves.”

I told the whole story. Well, at least the parts that involved humans. At the end, I showed the king the video of the local lord making a grab at my goods via my tablet, and he was visibly upset. I still couldn’t understand what the local lord was saying, but I guess it was pretty bad. After all, look what he tried to do after he said it.

“Is that enough evidence?” I asked.

The interpreter paused instead of relaying my message to the king right away. “Ahem, the ‘local lord,’ as you call him, is actually the king’s brother, Duke Finlaud,” he said to me. “Please understand, this puts His Majesty in a very difficult position.”

What a nice old man. After that aside, he passed what I’d said to the king, and gave me his response: “On the strength of this evidence, and your testimony, we will arrest Duke Finlaud for high treason.”

“Treason?” I asked. “Not sexual assault?”

“Before he tried to grab you, he alluded to plans to become king. In other words, he was plotting treason. It’s a far graver offense.”

“Oh, I had no idea what he was saying. I’m much more comfortable speaking this ancient language than the more modern one derived from it.”

“The modern language we speak is called Ausbarlian, named for the continent of Ausbarl,” the interpreter said. “Are you interested in learning it?”

“Yes! Absolutely! I won’t always have such an excellent interpreter available, after all.”

The king said something to his interpreter, who turned to me and said, “His Majesty has offered to lend me to you for a while, so that you can study Ausbarlian.”

“Really?” I turned to the king. “You’d really let me learn from him?!”

“Yes, that’s how much His Majesty wants to win your favor.”

“Then, can we wait to negotiate about the border until I’ve learned to speak the language properly?” I suggested. “I won’t build any new towers until then, and I’ll stop taking tolls from people that pass through this gate as soon as the duke has been arrested.”

“You have yourself a deal.”

The king and I shook hands, and I followed his forces into the city. I set up a folding chair I’d conjured up, and ate popcorn (or a close cousin, courtesy of a fruit with some very interesting properties) outside of the duke’s mansion as they dragged him out, kicking and screaming. He yelled and gestured at me as soon as he saw me, but I remained composed and dignified... Right up until the moment I stuck my tongue out at him, and pulled down my lower right eyelid.

“Blehhh.”

Serves him right. The creep.

The king was true to his word, and I was able to borrow his amazing interpreter. The old man’s name was Worgin, and he was a scholar who studied languages. That king sure was smart to have brought him along. I learned later that the king had gathered as many capable scholars as he could in the hopes of being able to communicate with me. Mission accomplished, I guess.

From Another Point of View Part 9: Worgin

For me, I suppose, it began on a day when I was busy with research as usual. At the time I served under King Savla Doma III as a royal scholar. He was the third king I’d sworn loyalty to in my lifetime, and I felt truly blessed to have served each one.

My area of interest had always been languages. Studying ancient tongues and deciphering the meanings and origins of words brought me great joy. Unfortunately, there were seldom any opportunities to use the knowledge I gained. Occasionally an ancient ruin would be unearthed, and I would be asked to decipher carvings on the wall, or some tattered texts found within, but that was hardly a common occurrence.

I spent most of my time engrossed in research, delving into forgotten texts, transcribing, translating. Compiling my own works on linguistics to leave behind for later generations. Every now and then I’d be asked to take a younger scholar under my wing and teach them some of what I knew, but these times seemed fleeting. Most of my life was spent living in a room beneath the library wing of the royal palace. Each morning I would wake, take breakfast, then set to work unraveling the mysteries of another old document. That was my routine, and I found it fulfilling.

On the day in question, I was immersed in my studies as usual when a messenger suddenly appeared.

“Forgive the disturbance, but His Majesty has requested your presence.”

“Oho. How rare. I shall depart immediately; lead the way.”

My old joints creaked as I stood up. I wasn’t at the point where I was so bent I needed a cane to move about, but I was close. Another year or so and I’d be hard-pressed to get out of bed in the morning unaided. Blessed though I was with a long life, I dreaded what was to come. I wished this withered body of mine would last another hundred years. There was still so much more I wanted to learn.

I followed the messenger to the king’s study. I’d been there before, but not recently.

“Ah, Worgin,” His Majesty greeted me. “Prompt as ever.” The smile on his face warmed my heart. How long had it been since I was asked to help with anything? Ten years? Twenty? In any case, I was thrilled to see His Majesty again. I began to kneel, as was appropriate, but he stopped me. “Please don’t. We’re not in a formal setting here, and I need you as healthy as possible. I’ve a great favor to ask of you.”

“I shall do anything in my power to assist you, Your Majesty. What would you have of me?”

“I’ll get straight to the point, then.”

His Majesty relayed the unbelievable tale of a strange little girl who’d recently appeared in the Grimwood region to the north. Apparently, this girl spoke an unknown language, but was interested in learning Ausbarlian. My heart danced at the thought. A language nobody knew anything about? And not an old, dead one, but a living, changing language! One would normally need to travel to another continent to speak with such a person.

In ancient times, humanity was forced to band together against a common enemy, and our language was inevitably unified. Everyone had spoken the same words back then. Near the end of that great battle, the enemy split and separated the lands however they could, to divide mankind’s power; the spaces in between became breeding grounds for monsters, further isolating the races of men. Huge monsters that dwelt in the seas and oceans made travel between continents nearly impossible, and even travel over land via areas like the Grimwood was unwise. What little contact we had with countries to the north was maintained by small vessels sailing in the shallows along the coast. The amount of trade these ships could facilitate was minimal at best. If there were a safe path through the Grimwood, expansive trade with the northern countries would become possible... Apparently, this little girl was the key to such a future.

As the king explained the situation, I realized how important this task was. Success or failure could potentially impact all of humanity.

I wasn’t the only scholar invited along, but most of the others were men I’d taught myself. None of them could truly rival me in knowledge. We traveled with His Majesty in a caravan of carriages with a huge military escort. Our destination was Finnelbraugh, the capital city of Duke Finlaud’s domain. The long carriage ride was hard on my old body, but I endured it. My excitement swelled with each passing day—but so did my old joints. It was a pleasant change of pace, traveling like this, but I worried I’d be needing that cane sooner as a result.

There was a stir as we approached the city. Apparently a series of huge walls had been erected around it, effectively holding the entire city prisoner. There was but a single gate, and the guards had little command of the Ausbarlian tongue. They would allow people to leave the city freely, but anyone entering was subject to a toll. The guards would search their carts, and occasionally their person, and extract whatever fee they deemed reasonable. If anyone objected, they were shown some sort of magical projection of the duke engaged in questionable acts. By far the strangest part was that when people left the city, their belongings were returned to them. It seemed the blockade was meant only to negatively impact the city, but not the people. There were also reports of the little creatures selling food, taking advantage of the rising prices within the city due to their own unusual sanctions.

Those weren’t the actions of someone who saw humanity as the enemy. It would have been easy for them to simply blockade the city and completely starve everyone inside, but they’d chosen this path instead. I had high hopes as we drew close to the city.

The caravan of carriages came to a stop, and the king took the lead as we approached the gate. His Majesty went alone, for fear that moving with his guards might appear hostile. We scholars were close behind him, hoping to be of service. If this supposedly unknown language was one we’d studied, then we would be able to interpret their words.

The little girl at the heart of the matter approached His Majesty personally. Judging by her behavior, I had to assume that she understood the position of a king. After a short introduction, His Majesty tried to lower himself to eye level with the little girl, who was far shorter than he was. This prompted panicked cries from his ministers and retainers, who always stood on ceremony. It was then that the little girl surprised everyone by sprouting a huge quartet of luminous wings and rising to meet the king’s gaze.

When she spoke, I understood every word. It was the oldest language I knew, one I’d studied extensively.

“Your Majesty,” I said. “I know these words! Please allow me to translate.”

After the king approved, I translated a lengthy conversation. The little girl was small, but by no means a child. She had flawless brown skin, and otherworldly hair that almost glowed. Her clothes put even the most elegant noble to shame, though for some reason she was barefoot. She was a calm, rational leader who conveyed her concerns clearly. I put questions about how and why she knew the ancient tongue out of my mind, and in the end, she agreed to stop imposing tolls on visitors to Finnelbraugh so long as the duke was brought to justice for his crimes.

As for those crimes... She showed us strange moving images via some sort of magical device, which also recreated the duke’s voice in devastating detail. She claimed she couldn’t understand what the duke was saying, which lent some credibility to her testimony. After all, it would be quite difficult to fake something like this if you didn’t know what the words meant.

His Majesty made good on his promise and quickly had his brother arrested. Then he offered to have me accompany the girl home. I was both excited and anxious when she enthusiastically agreed. This was my chance not only to teach her Ausbarlian, but to learn more about her people, language, and culture. Truly an opportunity I would be eternally grateful for.

Before we departed, the girl held her hands out in front of me, and her palms began to shine with warm light. As I wondered what she was doing, I felt the painful swelling in my joints subside. This mysterious girl, Lilac Grimwood, was miraculous indeed. I had much to learn from her.

I was led into the interior of the walls encircling the city. There were thousands of menacing creatures within, but all knelt as their sovereign passed. Lady Grimwood took up the magic tool from earlier once again and tapped at the images it displayed. Moments later a strange carriage appeared, with two large green wolves harnessed to it. I say wolves, but they seemed more like overgrown pups. Lady Grimwood went over to inspect the new arrival, as though she were surprised to see it.

“Is this carriage your doing, Lady Grimwood?” I asked. We were still speaking the ancient language. I hadn’t gotten around to asking her how she knew it yet.

“Oh, yeah,” she said. “It’s a long way, and I figured walking would be tough for you.”

“Truly? You’re too kind.”

When I approached the carriage, the door opened of its own accord. The interior was cozy, with a pair of very plush seats situated across from one another. Rather than a set of steps, a small ramp complete with guard rails appeared. I was floored. This carriage was of finer quality than any I’d ever seen. When I sat down on the cushioned seats, I sank slightly into their pillowy softness. It was the most comfortable seat I’d ever experienced. Lady Grimwood sat across from me, and we enjoyed a pleasant conversation as we traveled to her home. Though the way there was long indeed, the carriage was swift. It seemed like hardly any time passed before we arrived.

During the trip, she revealed that the language she and I were speaking was not her native tongue, but one she had learned from one of her subordinates. Her actual native language was one that escaped me entirely, and I was thrilled beyond words when she offered to teach me to speak it.

As we exited the carriage, I could see many strange and wondrous sights all around us. I asked about everything, and in turn, Lady Grimwood asked me what our words for the things she showed me were. We were a pair of teachers, learning from one another. How long had it been since I’d felt this way?

The weather cooled as summer gave way to autumn, and winter simply flew by as well. I was able to send messages to the royal palace regularly, and they sent replies back in turn. I didn’t know if any of the things I told them were helpful or not, but I was having the time of my life. Lady Grimwood’s Ausbarlian language skills developed remarkably. She was apparently quite used to learning new languages, and when her subordinates learned a new word, she immediately knew it as well. Quite the advantage. I must say, my progress with her native Sprigian was much slower, though I did have the benefit of being surrounded by dozens of native speakers on a daily basis.

As spring arrived, I took ill. I was in bed for days on end—I didn’t know how long. During that time, Lady Grimwood penned a letter to the king unassisted, to send for a doctor. I must admit, by that time, I was well and truly smitten with her. She was absolutely precious, both in appearance and in her sweet ways. It was obvious to me why her followers adored her so. During that time, as I lay there sickened, she would sit by my bedside and read to me as I lay awake in bed. At the same time the previous year, I would have been ready to let death take me; I’d lived a long and productive life, spent doing something meaningful. As I looked into her sweet face, however, I realized I wanted to live. With her around, I now enjoyed life so much that I couldn’t bear to let it end.

When the doctor arrived from the royal capital, she left me little hope. After a single exam, the head royal physician flatly declared there was nothing she could do, and went straight home. Lady Grimwood wept for me and vowed to cure the malady herself.

The next day, Lady Grimwood returned with a glass bottle full of a glowing golden liquid. She removed the stopper and held the mouth of the container to my lips.

“Drink this,” she told me.

With unwavering trust, I did as instructed and imbibed the magical concoction. I could feel a heat in my chest as it worked its way down my throat. Then I took a deep breath, and felt the spring air fully fill my lungs. My body suddenly felt stronger than it had in years. I looked down at my hands to discover they were quite a bit smaller. In fact, my whole body felt lighter as well. Lady Grimwood hurried to summon some attendants, and had them bring in a mirror. I didn’t recognize the figure reflected in it when I gazed that way.

“It seems to have worked, but I suppose a few side effects were unavoidable,” she said. “What do you think?”

“I’m one of you now. I’ve become a Sprigian.”

My formerly grizzled and elderly voice now sounded youthful and full of life. The figure in the mirror was a Sprigian, just like Lady Grimwood and her subjects. Light brown skin, pointed ears, long silver hair, golden eyes, and a handsome face devoid of any facial hair. I felt my face to confirm that this was indeed my own reflection. My robe hung loosely around my smaller body.

“How do you feel?” Her Majesty asked eagerly.

“Different,” I replied flatly.

“Good different, or bad different?”

“The malady seems to have gone away...but so has the rest of me.”

“Please don’t be upset, but I created some potent life essence in the Unseen Realm, and brought it back here to cure you. I didn’t realize the effects would be this drastic. I ask that you forgive me—I swear, I had only the purest intentions. Though, I realize you may resent me for this. After all, your body will probably never be human again.”

I shook my head. “How could I resent you? You’ve given me a new lease on life. Why, this body is far stronger than my old one ever was. I’ve never been so muscular. I should be thanking you for it.” I flexed my bicep to show off my newfound muscle, and my robe fell open, partially exposing my chest. Thankfully I was still seated, and nothing else slipped out. Lady Grimwood made an adorable noise and hid her eyes with her hands until I was decent again. Was she embarrassed to see my chest? How long had it been since anyone thought about me that way? Her reaction set my heart pounding.

Lady Grimwood summoned a Sprigian named Hammer to the room, and he measured my body. A few hours later, I had a new robe, made from durable materials I’d never heard of before. I’ll have you know, I cut quite a dashing figure in my new clothes.

I sat at my desk at the end of the day, and penned a letter to His Majesty. How can I possibly explain this? I wondered as I put pen to paper.

Chapter Eleven: The Adorable Dungeon Master Teaches and Learns

Thanks to the king, I returned home with an awesome language tutor in tow. If I’d been by myself I would’ve just warped there, but since Worgin was with me, I’d need to take the scenic route.

I could have just had him make his way there by himself, but that would have been terribly rude. Besides, if we went together, I could talk with him along the way! So I created a carriage real quick. I noticed Worgin had some swelling around the joints, and decided it was probably from being jostled around by the carriage he was riding in. So I healed him up with my magic, and made sure my carriage was equipped with super soft cushions. I included a suspension system, too, for a smoother ride. We’d be taking the carriage through the tunnels I’d made, so the ride was probably going to be pretty smooth anyway, but I wasn’t taking any chances. Old people could be pretty fragile.

I led Worgin through the part of the labyrinth around the city that was filled with Sprigoblins, but I made sure they didn’t attack him. Even back in the game, you could designate another player as a guest so that your minions wouldn’t attack them. They all knelt as we walked through, so I guess I must’ve come off like a pretty big deal. Way to make me look good! There was a secret path to some nice, peaceful tunnels, which is where I set up the carriage. These tunnels would lead all the way back to the main tower.

I summoned and leveled up a pair of Sprigarou to pull the carriage. Sprigarou were cute and cuddly little doggies with green fur. If you’ve ever seen a Pomeranian dog, they looked a lot like those, but they came in floral colors. They even smelled like flowers and fruits. Okay, they were supposed to be wolves, but they totally had these cute little puppy faces. Even when they became Faewolves later in life, they still retained their Pomeranian-like appearance, they just got bigger. As I looked at them in person for the first time, I desperately wanted to wrap my little arms around them and bury myself in their fluffy fur, but I managed to maintain my dignity as a ruler in front of my guest.

Once we were safely inside of the carriage, we had a nice little chat.

“Lady Grimwood, I simply must ask. How did you come to speak this language, which was thought to be long dead?”

“Oh, well, it’s not my native tongue,” I explained. “My primary language is Sprigian, but I don’t think anyone here knows it. So I tried a language I learned from one of my subordinates. I know it’s really old, but I can speak it a lot more fluently than modern Ausbarlian.”

“Ah, could you speak a little Sprigian for me, then?”

I thought for a moment “Ceni ot etem uyo.”

Worgin blinked. “You’re right, I didn’t understand that at all.”

“I said ‘nice to meet you’ in Sprigian.”

“I’ll try to remember that one,” he chuckled.

I nodded. “It’s one of the most important phrases you need to know to function in a society.”

“Oh? What are the others?”

“Hmm. Things like ‘where is the bathroom?’ or ‘how much does this cost?’ come to mind... Speaking of which, I need to ask you about money. We want to use the same currency as Doma, but we don’t really know the values yet. If we don’t learn what everything is worth, people won’t want to do business with us.”

“Ah, I’ve kept to the castle for quite some time, so I’m hardly abreast of how much any of it is worth, but I can at least teach you the values of currency as they relate to each other.”

“So, you might have an outdated view of what a coin will buy, but you can at least tell me how many of these low value coins make up one of these higher value coins.”

I produced some of the currency we’d received from our fruit sales and showed it to Worgin. He nodded, and began his explanation. Luckily I had my trusty tablet recording the entire conversation in my chat log, so I’d be able to make signs with the information for my followers later.

We arrived at the main tower, and Worgin’s eyes opened wide as he got out of the carriage. He had questions about everything, and I was happy to brag—er, explain what things were and what they did.

Worgin and I had a lot in common. He reminded me of my mother, with how passionate he was about language. Words connected people to one another. Without language, we’re just beasts who savagely imposed our will on others because we couldn’t explain what we wanted. If we couldn’t impose our will on others, then it was their will that was imposed on us, all because we couldn’t ask them to stop. We all learned our words so easily that we took them for granted, but they were really important.

Worgin reminded me of that. We took tea together every day, and talked about language. I had my Irregulars hunt down edible monsters, like that giant snake, so that Worgin could have meat with his meals. There were also huge boar-like monsters called “great smashers” which were apparently particularly good for eating. Bistro made them really tasty, and Worgin approved. Apparently the giant snakes were called “gigant serpents” in Ausbarlian, and that bear I had killed was called an “armed bear.” There were quite a few other dangerous monsters in the woods, but I hadn’t personally run into them yet.

I guessed they didn’t really have a concept of months in this world, since my tablet never displayed the name of one. They did have seasons here, though, and those passed by quickly. Worgin and I spent most of our time indoors, so we were always a little surprised to find out the season had changed.

We kind of just got used to our routine, which seemed like it would continue forever. By the time spring rolled around, I could speak and write Ausbarlian pretty effectively, and Worgin’s Sprigian was coming along nicely too. It felt like things would just continue on like that... But then Worgin got sick.

At first, we just treated it like a normal cold—I stayed by his bedside and nursed him as well as I could. I read books to him, too, to stave off the boredom. Days passed, though, and he wasn’t getting any better.

I could have summoned my own medical personnel, but if I did that, and Worgin died anyway, I could potentially have been held responsible for his death. So I sent a letter to the royal capital of Doma, asking for a doctor. It was my first time writing in Ausbarlian without Worgin’s guidance, but I was more worried about what would happen if he didn’t get a doctor in time than I was about my grammar or handwriting.

By the time the doctor actually got there, Worgin was pretty weak. The doctor examined him, but she didn’t recommend any medicines or treatments.

“He’s simply arrived at the end of his life,” she said. “There’s nothing I can do. If you want to help, just make him as comfortable as possible. I have other patients to attend to back home that I actually stand a chance of saving. I’ll be taking my leave now.”

There was a lot I wanted to say in response, but if the doctor had already given up, it was foolish to try and pressure her into staying. I watched silently as she turned around and went home. But I didn’t give up.

“Just hold on a bit longer,” I told Worgin, “and I’ll cure you myself.”

I’d already tried magic, but whatever ailment he had, it wasn’t something I could deal with. Even spells that were supposed to cure any status abnormality didn’t make him feel any better. I wasn’t about to take that lying down.

Or, well, I did lie down, but only to go to the Unseen Realm to search for a solution. It was the right choice. Thank goodness for Redimir: He told me that one of the reasons Sprigians lived such long lives was because the Unseen Realm invigorated our spirits, which in turn rejuvenated our bodies. So I decided to bottle some of that rejuvenating energy and take it with me. If I put something into my inventory while I was in the Unseen Realm, I could retrieve it in the mortal realm, and vice versa. That way, I was able to create or modify things in the Unseen Realm, and move them to the mortal realm afterward. Eventually I was able to create and move things even when I was awake, but it was always easier to do while I was actually visiting the Unseen Realm. Hey, I didn’t make the rules, I just exploited them.

So I bottled the rejuvenation energy as a liquid, stocked up on chocolate, grabbed a jar of Redimir’s rose tea blend, and put it all in my inventory. Then I awakened in the mortal realm and hurried right to Worgin’s side.

“Drink this,” I instructed after I took the bottle of glowing vitality out of my inventory and pulled out the stopper.

Worgin did as I told him and drank the luminous liquid. It kept glowing even after it was inside of him, so brightly that I could see the light shining through his clothes. It happened really quickly, but his body definitely got better! The main problem was that his appearance totally changed.

Instead of an old man with a long, gray beard, now he was, um, really handsome. I mean, he was a Sprigian now, and a cute one. He had long silver hair and golden eyes, with light brown skin.

Gah! What if he thinks I did this on purpose?! I’m not trying to make a reverse harem full of hot guys! I swear! It wasn’t my fault I was surrounded by drop-dead gorgeous cuties. Okay, well, technically it was, but I hadn’t done it on purpose. I only had the purest intentions.

Ah, Bistro, I’m such an unfaithful woman. Look at me, flitting back and forth between affections. My fickle heart soars on cherub wings to wherever it feels most loved. Don’t look at me like that, Worgin, I get too much sugar in my diet as it is! Maybe I should summon a dentist soon. Oh no, what if he ends up hot too? I won’t be safe anywhere. My body instinctively wants to cuddle cuties, it won’t be denied.

I was going to need another fluff session with the Sprigarous I’d summoned. Well, technically they were Faewolves now, since I’d leveled them up past level ten, but they were still fluffy and cuddly. They didn’t really seem to mind when I called them to my room just so I could just bury myself in their fluff. In fact, they really seemed to enjoy it.

I may be addicted. Send help. I can’t stop. I won’t stop. I don’t want to stop. It’s a disease. The only way to cure the symptoms is more cuddles, but then they only come back worse the next time. No, I shouldn’t think of it as a disease, they’re the cure! The cure for adorable withdrawal symptoms. Yup, that’s what it is.

Oh, right, I should ask Worgin how he’s feeling—

“It seems to have worked, but I suppose a few side effects were unavoidable,” I said. “What do you think?”

“I’m one of you now.”

Yup, he’d noticed the side effects... He still seemed calm for now, which was good. But, oh no, what were his people gonna think? They were totally gonna assume I just brainwashed him and made him a Sprigian. They’d treat me like the villain in an alien invasion movie. I really hadn’t meant to! If their stupid doctor wasn’t such a hack, I wouldn’t have resorted to this. Maybe I should write a formal apology letter...

“Dear King Doma, sorry I turned your loyal retainer into an irresistible hottie. We’ll send pictures of the kids.” Nope! Not happening! How am I gonna explain this?

I pressed Worgin for details on his condition, and it seemed like he was feeling healthy. After that, I explained what I’d given him and why, and he seemed to understand. He flexed his bicep to show me how well he was doing, and his robe, which was now too big for him, sorta slid open. For a moment there, before I shielded my eyes, I could see the promised land... Wow, that was close. My instincts almost got the better of me, and I nearly tackled him.

I got Hammer to come in and measure Worgin for a new robe. There was a kind of huge monster in the forest called a sovereign spider, which got its name from the big yellow spot it had on its butt part that looked kinda like a crown when it was upside down. My Irregulars hunted them because their parts made good materials for weapons and armor, but apparently they could also harvest their silk, which was supertough and durable. That was what Worgin’s new robe was made from. Thankfully, it fit him perfectly, so I wouldn’t be subjected to near-certain temptation on a daily basis.

Before, I’d only thought of him as a kindly grandpa sort of character, but now that he was hot— Did that make me a bad person? It totally did, right? I was feeling super shallow. I mean, I wouldn’t say I didn’t like him before, but I certainly hadn’t been so attracted to him. There was a difference.

I totally sound like a shallow person making excuses right now, don’t I? No way! There’s nothing wrong with not being romantically interested in an old man who’s literally about to die. I mean, I went out of my way to save him, right? That shows I cared about him before, right? Gin, forgive me, I’m just a shallow little mud puddle. Please take care not to step in me as you walk the path to true happiness.

“So, what do you think we should tell King Doma about this?” I said warily.

“Everything, of course,” he replied. Gin was so loyal to the king that it made me a bit jealous.

He sat down and got ready to write a letter. A few moments later, though, when he got back up, the page was still blank.

“So, Gin?” I started.

“Gin?”

“Oh, sorry, I started calling you that in my head a few moments ago, and it just slipped out. But I was wondering if we shouldn’t just go visit the king in person.”

“Ah, I was hoping to suggest that very thing.”

“I’ll prepare some video evidence, then,” I said. “I’m looking forward to being able to speak with him without an interpreter. No offense, of course, you did an amazing job interpreting for us.”

He smiled. “None taken. I suppose I shall write a letter with a short, unsatisfying explanation, and advise His Majesty that we’ll be coming to visit.”

“Sounds good to me.”

So we decided to just explain the situation in person, since a letter probably just wouldn’t do it justice.

From Another Point of View Part 10: King Dalvas Gunzverg

Our kingdom of Gunzverg boasted a long history, and I dearly wished I could say it was a proud one. After my father’s reign, our country was very lucky to remain a kingdom at all. All along the southern part of our lands lay the dreaded Grimwood, a forest full of ferocious monsters. Settlements built too near it were, without exception, doomed to disaster. The moment one of the huge beasts within decided the townsfolk were on the menu, the lives of the villagers were forfeit.

Years ago, when I was but a boy, there was a mighty general who led our armies. To him, even the Grimwood could be conquered. Unfortunately, though, he was only one man, and the Grimwood was vast. My father, the previous king, ignored the Grimwood, and instead sought to expand our country’s borders through warfare. The surrounding kingdoms naturally took offense to this, and we were soon beset from all sides.

Rather than seek an alliance or treaty with any of our neighbors, my father tried to take lands from all of them at once. He overestimated our general’s incredible abilities, and believed him invincible. Foolishly, he thrust our armies into unwinnable situations one after another, against the advice of all those around him. When our great general didn’t return victorious, my father screamed obscenities at him. Eventually, my father not only removed the general from his post, he exiled him.

Ironically, without the revered general, father became much more cautious in his military endeavors, but it was already too late. Our borders shrank to a laughable extent. Even the common folk of the neighboring countries called us “the shrinking kingdom” or “the vanishing lands” in jest. Our entire country was reduced to just the heavily fortified royal capital, Verga Gunza, and the territory near the Grimwood.

None of the other countries wished to expend the effort and supplies needed to take the capital, and they weren’t interested in the uninhabitable lands near the Grimwood. In a way, the dangerous forest saved us. Unfortunately, my father focused his efforts on reclaiming the lands we’d lost in the previous conflicts. He lost many generals in battle before he finally decided to lead the troops himself.

I wondered if he finally realized what a difficult thing war was once he stood on the field of battle. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to ask him. Our enemies happily took the chance to be rid of him. After my father’s death, I assumed the throne at a mere fifteen years of age, and vowed never to repeat his foolish mistakes.

After my ascension, I was forced to engage in trade with the very people who had stolen our land from us. Not that we didn’t deserve it, but they sold us produce and grain from the very cities they won from us in war, and at premium prices. It was frustrating. We cultivated the land near the royal capital as best we could, but there wasn’t much of it. Our people pushed as far south as possible, but before long we received news that one of our frontier settlements had been attacked by monsters. Southern expansion ground to a halt. The voices clamoring to retake our former lands grew louder by the day.

Just as I thought I might be forced to heed those voices, word came that our great general had returned to us. Apparently, after he was exiled, he’d formed a small band of mercenaries, and traveled south, through the Grimwood. He’d eventually found work in the great kingdom south of the forest, and had been living there ever since.

Fortunately, he didn’t return empty-handed either. He came to one of the villages and sent word to the royal capital that he wished to have an audience with the king regarding the Grimwood. I immediately sent a positive response. Why wouldn’t I? Just having him around would increase morale, and with his strength, the Grimwood became far less imposing. Even if all we could do was cut down trees along the edge of the forest, eventually, the monsters would be forced to retreat away from our southern settlements.

A few days later, the man himself stood in front of me. He was a bit older now, but no less imposing. Even after all the years spent in exile, he still maintained his dignified, clean-cut appearance. I was nearly moved to tears by the sight of him. After all, he still lived up to the heroic image I remembered from my childhood. To me, our kingdom’s misfortune hadn’t truly begun until he left, so to see him return was akin to seeing the kingdom reborn.

“I can’t begin to describe just how good it is to see you again, General Hegram.”

“I am a general no longer, Your Majesty,” he corrected me. “These days, I am but a humble mercenary, selling his sword to those with the coin to afford it.”

“Say the word, and I’ll rectify that problem at once,” I promised. “I would gladly restore your former command. My father’s rash decision to exile you was by far the worst blunder he ever made. Please, won’t you consider swearing your loyalty to me, as you once did to my father? Our country needs you.”

“What this country needs is land it can grow food on. Right now it depends far too much on imports. At least, that’s what the townsfolk tell me. The reason I’ve come here is because something has changed recently in the Grimwood, and I thought Your Majesty should be aware of it.”

My interest was immediately piqued. What sort of change had taken place? Were the monsters dying out? If so, that was phenomenal news. I was beside myself with anticipation. “Please, then, continue.”

What followed was a strange tale indeed. Had these words come from the mouth of anyone else, I would have immediately written them off as fiction. He spoke of a tiny woman who had recently made her home in the Grimwood. She commanded unusual powers, including the ability to summon up huge towers and fill them with monsters and treasure. This singular entity had recently come into conflict with the great kingdom to the south.

For my part, I wanted to meet this woman as soon as possible.

“Unfortunately, Your Majesty, such an expedition won’t be possible until at least spring,” Hegram told me.

“Why must we wait so long? It’s only autumn now.”

“Summer is the best time to cross the Grimwood. I’ve been there often enough to know. In the spring, the monsters are far more aggressive, since they’re marking and defending territory for breeding. In the fall, they fatten themselves for the winter, so they hunt more often, and in winter, food is scarce, so they attack much more desperately. The trek across the Grimwood is a long one, well over two weeks, even in good conditions. Taking a cart full of supplies isn’t really an option, and any food you do bring will attract hungry monsters. It’s best to travel light, when there’s plenty of food around. That way you can forage for fruit, nuts, and mushrooms.”

“I see, so late spring at the very earliest.”

“That’s correct, Your Majesty.”

“Very well. Unlike my father, I am willing to listen to the advice of those with experience. I will defer to your guidance. Please, won’t you take this time to gather what men and supplies you need to undertake this important mission on the kingdom’s behalf? I will compensate you as best I can.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty. We will begin our preparations at once.”

Chapter Twelve: The Adorable Dungeon Master Visits the Royal Capital

We received a reply from King Doma and set out for the royal capital. Well, “set out” might be a bit of a dramatic way to put it, when the first step of our journey was warping from a teleportation circle I’d added to the dungeon.

Technically, it was part of a pair, and each transported people to the other. This was a relatively common feature in video game dungeons, and one of the most convenient. I brought Gin with me for this trip because I planned to inform King Doma about his transformation. Gin was disoriented and confused at first, but I explained what had happened, and we moved on.

Even though I was able to place teleportation circles that could warp people from one part of the dungeon to another, that wouldn’t work for towers that weren’t connected to each other with Adjoin. In the end, I created a warp circle in one of the towers near Duke Finlaud’s city, which I’d learned by then was called Finnelbraugh, and a corresponding circle at the main tower. Then I warped my guards and carriage, complete with fluffy doggies, to Finnelbraugh, and made ready to start my journey to the royal capital. I’d promised not to make any more towers until the king and I had a chance to negotiate, but I really wanted to. If I linked Finnelbraugh’s towers with the royal capital, it would revolutionize travel. I’d have to see what the king thought of that idea.

It was a long carriage ride, and Doma didn’t exactly have a great road system, so it was pretty bumpy too. Fortunately, my carriage was made for comfort. I didn’t have a fancy royal crest, so it was pretty plain on the outside, I supposed... Although, according to Gin, it still looked plenty fancy. Inside was a whole different story. You could tell by the absurd amount of plush cushioning that it was an extravagant carriage. Normally, monsters like Faewolves wouldn’t be able to leave the dungeon, but I guess hooking them up to the carriage allowed them to move with it. The game didn’t have mechanics like that. I did purchase the carriage with dungeon points, though, so I supposed the Faewolves were counted as being in the dungeon as long as they were connected to it.

To pass the time during the trip, I taught Gin how to use magic.

“You should be able to feel the power flowing through you,” I explained as I pushed and pulled at the energy within him with my own.

We were sitting across from each other, with my palms pressed against his. This was a legitimate way to circulate energy through his body, so he could learn the feel of it. I definitely was not just trying to score some hand-holding time. Seriously, I mean it. If that was the goal, I would have had him interlace his fingers with mine. Then I would have overheated and passed out.

Anyway, he was able to move his energy around pretty well by the end of the first day, so I taught him how to use light magic once it got dark. I played around with my orb of light until he was able to make his own. Then I helped him practice his control by moving my orb around the carriage and having his chase it. Okay, there was a lot of giggling, and it was really fun, but he was still learning.

I warped back to the tower once the guards made camp. Gin had to sleep in the carriage, but I needed to sleep in my own bed. The carriage was probably comfortable enough for both of us to sleep there, but that was a dangerous arrangement. Who knew what would happen if I was left alone with his adorable sleeping face. At the very least, I would have poked his cheeks.

During the rest of the trip, I taught Gin more magic and explained various aspects of Sprigian culture, such as why we usually went barefoot. Speaking of which, since the carriage counted as part of the dungeon, we could use magic in it just fine, but a normal carriage wouldn’t have been as connected to nature. I explained some other things about Sprigian lore as well. I figured he deserved to know since he kinda was one now.

“Because we live such long lives, Sprigians don’t get married,” I said. “We do form monogamous pairs, and those couples can stay together for extremely long periods of time, but we don’t ever mate for life. Sprigians prefer to avoid being constrained, and it would be miserable to marry someone and then grow bored of them a hundred years later and feel like you have no choice but to stay with them.”

Gin looked a bit surprised by that one. “Couldn’t they just divorce, then?” he asked.

“Sprigians take vows very seriously. If they swear to be with someone for all eternity, they’re going to do it, no matter what.”

“What about courtship? Do Sprigians have special customs or rituals for expressing their interest in a mate?”

Oh? Might there be someone you’re oh-so-very interested in courting? You can tell me, I promise. If it’s me, though, my heart will melt, and I’ll pass out as soon as you say so.

“I’d say it’s probably pretty similar to human courtship, minus the marriage part,” I said. “The couple spends time together whenever they can, and eventually they declare their intent to form a monogamous pair. They’ll remain together until one or both parties decide it’s time to start seeing other people. They might have children during their time with each other, and if they do, it’s customary to remain together until all of their offspring are adults. There have been cases of Sprigian mothers and children leaving the father’s home on the same day. It’s kind of sad to think of losing your whole family at once like that, but Sprigians seem to prefer that over the alternative. When you’re young and inexperienced, it’s easy to say you’ll love someone forever. Once a few hundred years go by, though, I could see how one might feel trapped, and wish for a change of pace.”

“How do you feel about it?” Gin asked me. Okay, so my heart might have leaped into my throat when he asked me so directly.

I laughed. “I’m only in my twenties, so I still think being with one person forever sounds romantic. I know it may not be practical, though. Plus, as the Arbiter of Balance, I can’t allow my personal feelings to bias my judgment.”

“Arbiter of Balance? What sort of position is that?” He leaned forward in his seat a bit; I had his full attention. Would it have been so wrong if the carriage had hit a bump at that very moment, and launched him right into my lap? Asking for a friend.

“Oh, I guess I haven’t mentioned that yet, huh? I’m tasked with maintaining balance in the mortal realm. For example, if a group of people are being oppressed, ideally, I’d intervene and stop the people exploiting them. Perhaps if one person was hoarding more food than they needed while others starved around them, I’d be tasked with convincing the hoarder to share with their fellows. Those sorts of duties.”

“So your duties are the sort that may bring you into conflict with other countries, then?”

“Only if they’re disrupting the balance in a substantial way. It’s not my job to nitpick every little thing, but when countries engage in things like slavery and war, I’d say I’m required to look into it.”

“Slavery disrupts the balance?”

I thought back to the history of slavery in the world I came from. “It does when it’s one group of people oppressing another. Forced labor for criminals is fine, as long as the punishment is justified, but enslaving someone just because they’re different from you is a no-go. Now that I think of it, what are Doma’s laws on slavery?”

It could really change the focus of this trip if the upper classes of Doma were enslaving people in the lower classes, so I had to ask.

“The punitive kind, last I checked,” said Gin. “Forced labor for criminals, as you mentioned earlier. Although it’s possible things have changed since I entered the palace.”

“Ah, right, you don’t get out much. I’m a bit of a homebody myself, so I can relate.”

For Gin and I, an afternoon spent studying language in a quiet library was much more appealing than going outside and touching grass.

“I seem to recall you going out fairly often,” he pointed out.

“Ah, that’s just because it’s part of my job. I’m surveying the land, to get a better idea of where to place towers. Eventually, I’d like to wall off the entire forest, to make it safe for humans to live near it. Then it would be easier to establish trade.”

“You can really do that?”

“Yeah, with enough time and resources. I would have started already, but I didn’t want to cause any friction with Doma. They consider at least part of the forest to be their land, after all. I’m hoping to ask for the land in return for keeping the monsters contained. I know I’m building stuff all over it anyway, so it’s a bit late, but I really would like to pursue good relations.”

“I believe that would be a very attractive offer. It’s often said that the lands near the Grimwood are quite fertile, but we’ve been unable to cultivate them due to the danger. If it became difficult or impossible for monsters to leave the forest, I don’t think Doma could ask for a better outcome.”

“Well, I’m sure they’d be fine with the forest simply not existing at all, but that would cause a different kind of problem,” I said with a grin.

“What do you mean?”

Oh, these guys probably don’t know how important trees are to the environment.

“When humans, Sprigians, and most other creatures breathe, we take in oxygen from the air around us,” I explained. “That’s what our lungs are for. Oxygen isn’t the only thing in the air, though. For example, when we exhale, we introduce carbon dioxide into the air. Carbon dioxide is essentially oxygen bonded together by carbon. In that state, it’s toxic to humans. In other words, if you’re trapped in a space with no air flow, eventually you’ll replace all of the oxygen in that space with carbon dioxide and die. Plants like trees fix that. They take in carbon dioxide, strip the carbon away, and release oxygen. If you cut down all of the trees, it lowers the amount of oxygen being produced. You can see how that would eventually be a problem now, right?”

Gin was stunned. “Th-That’s incredible! Where did you come across this knowledge?”

“Oh, right, I guess you’d want to know. I guess you can say it’s knowledge needed to do my job, so I just sort of know it.” I couldn’t exactly tell him it was just basic science from my previous life. It wasn’t exactly a lie to say I’d always known it as the Arbiter, though, since I’d known it before I reincarnated into this world.

He looked at me curiously. “Wouldn’t the ability to speak the same language as the people you’re meant to bring balance to be an essential skill for the job as well?”

Oh crud, he’s onto me. Quick, think up a convincing excuse!

“One would think, but apparently those skills weren’t included. I was upset about that at first, but now I’m glad it gave me the chance to meet you.”

Well, that wasn’t an excuse, I just flattered him instead. Seems like it worked, so I’ll let it go this time.

“R-really? Me?”

He’s blushing, he’s totally blushing! Attack!

“Aw, are you blushing? That’s so cute.”

“You’re just teasing me on purpose now.”

He’s trying to regain his composure, pour on the charm!

“I can’t help it. I adore the way the tips of your ears turn red when you’re embarrassed.”

“Th-They do?”

“Oh yes, red as a ripe strawberry.”

Wow, look at him go! You’d never guess he’s an old man on the inside. I shouldn’t tease him too much, though. A little flirting from him would have done the same thing to me.

When we finally arrived at the gates to the royal capital, we caused quite a stir. Armed guards with spears at the ready barred our path, and I had to get out of the carriage to keep them from attacking the cute doggies pulling it—even though the Faewolves were more than four times my size, they were still cute and fluffy. The guards quickly changed their tune when I showed them the letter I’d received from King Doma, though. It was good to have friends in high places. I would have loved to explore the city more, but with our entourage, we stood out too much. After passing through the main gate into the city, we headed straight for the royal palace.

It really wasn’t hard to locate the royal castle, since it was the biggest thing in the city by a long way. Stone walls and imposing spire towers set it apart from the rest of the buildings. There were walls and gates designed to deter or trap intruders, much like the ones I’d installed outside of Finnelbraugh. Thanks to the layout, it took a considerable amount of time to reach the actual palace. The guards at the palace gates were nervous, but they didn’t freak out like the ones at the city gate. The city gate guards had apparently sent a messenger to the palace ahead of us, so the castle guards knew what to expect. I was just glad I didn’t have to get out of the carriage again.

Once we arrived, there was some confusion about what to do with the carriage. The guards were worried about the Faewolves being in the same stable as the horses. On a hunch, I tried storing the carriage in my inventory. Just as I thought, once it was gone, the Faewolves returned to the dungeon. While they were connected to the carriage, they were treated as part of it, so they were allowed to be outside the dungeon. The only living things my inventory was allowed to hold were nonsentient plants and their seeds. As soon as the carriage was sent to the inventory, the Faewolves were forced back to their original spawn point. I’d have to give them some treats and cuddles later.

By the way, Faewolves were frugivores as well, but their meal of choice was the Sprigian “savor fruit,” which has a skin like a sausage casing and hearty, meat-like flesh. I was quite fond of them myself. If I had to describe the taste, maybe something between pork and beef? They could be prepared in many of the same ways. Savor fruits were an item that you needed to raise your dungeon past a certain point to obtain in the game, but once players unlocked them, they often devoted a lot of their available farming space to them. That was because they were the food source for Sprigarous and their advanced forms, and for Sprigrimalkins too. For the latter, the chef needed to mix the savor fruit with sea-brine fruit to make it taste like fish. The “sea-savor sauté” this recipe produced was the primary food source for Sprigrimalkins and their advanced forms.

Oh, right, the palace. Once the carriage and the creatures pulling it were gone, the guards led us into the palace. Gin and I were flanked by Team Apple, my royal guards. I’d left the rest of my Irregulars at the palace gates to show my peaceful intentions...but honestly, that was like saying, “I left my knife at the door to show I mean you no harm” when your arm was a rocket launcher. The power of the thirty-two Irregulars at the palace gates was minuscule even compared to my royal guard, and my royal guard were just as thoroughly outclassed by yours truly. Of those going to meet the king, Gin was probably the weakest, though he was improving quickly. He was really getting the hang of using magic.

Inside, the palace was pretty overwhelming. You saw places like this in games and stuff, but being there in person was different. There was a sort of oppressive feel to the halls of a royal palace. Maybe the feeling came from how big everything was. It certainly didn’t help that I was way smaller than the people this place was designed for. Those huge corridors and high ceilings were the exact opposite of cozy. You almost couldn’t help feeling rigid and formal in surroundings like that. Maybe that was the whole point. A lot of castles had military purposes to them, so maybe this one had wide halls to accommodate large groups of soldiers, or to make sure there was enough room to fight. Thinking back to how much trouble Hegram and his men had had when the dungeon paths were narrow, that was definitely a possibility.

The castle’s decor was refined and elegant, but it was a total joke compared to the palace I’d made for myself in the Unseen Realm. I mean, my palace had plants that grew infinite chocolate bars; that alone gave it the win. Wait, but it wasn’t really a competition. I guess I thought about taking some notes on how to decorate a castle, but then I realized mine looked better, and left it at that.

After being led through a series of winding corridors—probably arranged that way to disorient intruders—we finally arrived at the throne room. A set of huge double doors opened, and a guy near the entrance announced my arrival. There were people everywhere: guards, advisors, ministers, and probably a few other miscellaneous nobles with nothing better to do. There were a few maids around too.

Maybe I should get a maid or two... I’ll look into it.

Anyway, we walked right up the red carpet in the middle of the room, and reached the point where it was customary to wait. Gin knelt before the king, but as a fellow ruler, I wasn’t obliged to. My guards simply stood at attention.

The king gave the standard formal greeting. “Thank you for coming all this way,” he added. “I hope the trip wasn’t too difficult.”

“The hardest part was navigating the corridors of your palace, King Doma,” I said with a chuckle. “I assure you, the rest of the journey was no trouble at all. Regarding the purpose of our trip here, I have something of great importance to discuss with you. A fact that would certainly cause great trouble if it were widely known. As such, I would prefer to meet with you as privately as possible. I would like this information to be known only by yourself and those you trust most. If such a meeting would be problematic, I can return another time.”

“Does this perhaps pertain to the scholar I sent you? I notice Worgin is not with you.”

“It actually has a great deal to do with Worgin, and the reason you do not see him here. I assure you, the truth will startle you, and it could ignite conflict. I implore you to consider granting my request for a more private meeting.”

They weren’t allowed to interrupt, but you could see in the faces of the other humans in the room that they weren’t crazy about my idea. It wasn’t like I couldn’t understand why. From their point of view, I might as well be a creepy old man asking a child to get in the back of a van for some candy. I represented a threat to their king, and no amount of sweet talk was going to fix that. I just had to hope King Doma trusted me.

“By the way,” the king said, “forgive me for not saying so earlier, but your Ausbarlian really has improved quite a bit. Worgin did a wonderful job teaching you.”

“I agree wholeheartedly, King Doma. I would like to elaborate further, but I’m afraid I must insist on more privacy before I do so.”

“Very well.” He turned to his attendants. “Have one of the conference rooms opened at once. I will meet with Miss Grimwood in a more private setting.”

“Thank you, King Doma.”

Rather than a verbal response, the king gave a curt nod, and we were escorted to a conference room. Gin and I went inside, leaving my guards outside as a show of peaceful intent. The king likewise brought only a single retainer.

“This is Yomas, my prime minister,” he explained. “Outside of my family, there are none I trust more.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Yomas.”

“Likewise, milady.”

I didn’t waste any more time. “Allow me to introduce the other person joining our little meeting, since you didn’t recognize him earlier.” I motioned to Gin. “This is Worgin. I must admit, It’s a bit awkward being in a room alone with you and two of your retainers, so I’d like to finish the explanation quickly.”

“You’re claiming that Worgin has become one of your people?” said the king.

“If you mean a Sprigian, then yes. He’s still quite loyal to you, though.”

“How did this happen?”

“I’ll show you.”

I pulled out my tablet, and showed King Doma and Yomas the replay of the doctor saying there was nothing that could be done, followed by the video of Worgin’s transformation. Both of them were stunned. They looked at each other, then back to me. They normally took great care to conceal their emotions, but their eyes were wide with shock.

“I’m revealing this to you despite knowing we will be viewed with suspicion,” I added. “If I wanted to deceive you, I could have just told you he’d died. Please keep that in mind. I hope you understand why I wanted this kept a secret between as few people as possible.”

Yomas gulped audibly. “I-If people knew about this, there would be many who would demand it. It did drastically change his appearance, but Worgin certainly seems younger. If anyone seeking to reclaim their youth were to learn of this, it could ignite the flames of war.”

“It’s far worse than that,” I corrected him. “Sprigians don’t age and die the way humans do. What I accidentally gave to Worgin is akin to immortality. Incidentally, I’ve been calling him Gin since he changed. It may serve to help hide the truth if you were to do the same.”

“I hadn’t even thought of any of this,” said Gin, shocked. “I was more worried about the reputation of the royal physician, since Lady Grimwood was able to heal me while she couldn’t.” He bowed his head to King Doma. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, I never meant for this to happen.”

He probably felt guilty about becoming immortal while the master he served was stuck with the lifespan of a human. All the more reason he should stick with me, as far as I was concerned. I had a hunch that was what the king would decide anyway. If Gin stayed here, the people in the castle would think he was a spy; it would make his life difficult. With me, he could live comfortably and continue to send reports to King Doma. I didn’t care if he was only there to spy on me, because I didn’t have anything to hide.

Okay, nothing except all of my silly crushes. Speaking of crushes, during this meeting, I could see the possibility of Gin being leveraged against me if I got romantically entangled with him...

Curses, why must the beautiful men around me always be off-limits...? Is it just me, or do I sound shallow and desperate? Better to just stop thinking about it.

“Immortality,” King Doma repeated. “I could see people going to great lengths to obtain that glowing liquid of yours. What exactly was in that bottle, anyway?”

“What Gin drank was a liquid version of the raw vitality present in the Unseen Realm,” I explained. “It revitalizes the spirit, which in turn rejuvenates the body. That was why I thought it could save him. I never imagined it would change him into a Sprigian. It’s possible the dosage was too high, but I suspect the result would have been similar even with a lower dose. It brought him back from the brink of death, and reforged his body. You can see why I would like to keep this a secret. Both kings and commoners alike would hound me relentlessly if they knew.”

“Did you not think that I might wish for it myself, then?” the king asked pointedly.

I looked him right in the eye as I explained my thoughts. “I thought about that, but think of what it would mean for your position. I wouldn’t mind giving you some, but if you changed your form, people wouldn’t follow you so readily anymore. They would become distrustful, thinking you were a spy, or under my control. In the worst-case scenario, either you would be driven out of your own kingdom, or I’d be asked to transform every person in it. The second option may not seem bad at first, but the Unseen Realm wouldn’t be able to handle producing the energy to change that many people all at once—and there would also be those who would resist, fueled by suspicion and hatred. In either case, it could invite conflict into your lands.”

“You make a good point,” Yomas said. “You’ve considered this very thoroughly.”

“They’re all things I was worried might happen to Gin, so I’ve worried over them almost constantly since he changed,” I admitted.

“Milady, you’ve really worried that much for me? I’ve been so thoughtless. I never even considered that anyone might doubt me, or that they would suspect you of trickery,” Gin confessed with a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“It’s because you’re a good person,” I told him. “People try to see themselves in others, and they tend to assume others would think as they would. Unfortunately, I’m all too familiar with the slings and arrows of hatred and prejudice. It’s only natural I’d be wary of them.”

“I can sense the pain behind those words. You must have endured a lot.” King Doma tried his best to empathize, but I wasn’t sure if he really understood what that was like. Most people could probably think back to a time in their life when they were treated unfairly because they were different, though. I certainly could.

“Not as much as some,” I said. “You might even say I’ve been fortunate. Now then, I propose we put that matter aside for now and discuss the matter of the Grimwood region, and the placement of my towers. If you’d like, we can call in more of your retainers, or hold the meeting in a different venue.”

“I see,” King Doma said. “Before that, what terms would you like? I’m curious as to your motivations.”

“Ah. Well, ideally, I’d like to make towers all along the southern edge of the forest, and have you recognize my claim as queen of the Grimwood region. In exchange, I’ll link the towers together, which will create a wall that would prevent most of the monsters from escaping the forest. That way, you’ll be able to create settlements in the north and farm the land there. I’ll also have my forces patrol the forest near the wall and eliminate any monsters that might try to cross. In addition, I’ll create a safe route through the forest. That way, merchants can eventually travel to the northern countries. In exchange, I’ll claim a modest toll from them.”

“What would that toll be?”

“For now, I’d say about five domels per person. That sounds reasonable, right?”

Yomas nodded. “Perhaps not for the average person, but for a merchant, it sounds fair.”

“Eventually, I want to create a lively marketplace, full of goods from all over the continent. I’d like Grimwood to become an important trade hub. I haven’t made contact with any of the northern countries yet, but once I establish my southern border, that will be my next step. I’d also like to put a few towers along the route from the royal capital to Grimwood. That would make travel much faster.”

“Faster? Not safer?” King Doma asked, confused.

“Faster and safer,” I corrected.

“What Lady Grimwood means, Your Majesty, is that she can create magical gateways within the towers to reduce travel times,” Gin cut in. “However, to create these gates, the towers on either end must be connected to each other. We were able to shave a significant amount of time off of our journey by using one of these gates to warp to Finnelbraugh. Since the travel is near instantaneous, there’s no risk of being attacked during that part of the trip.”

“What Gin said,” I said. Even now, he was a masterful translator.

“Milady, I would also suggest informing His Majesty of what you told me regarding the role of trees in tending to the air.” Gin looked at me meaningfully. Honestly, I didn’t want him to stop.

“Ah, that’s true. It might help silence those who want to cut down the Grimwood.”

I spent a few minutes explaining things about how oxygen worked to the king and Yomas. Incidentally, my towers functioned much the same way trees did; in their case, they also purified the air inside of them. With so many reasons to stay inside, it was a miracle I ever went anywhere. Especially since I could create almost anything while I was inside my towers or in the Unseen Realm. Despite having every reason to stay at home, here I was, still trying to forge relationships. Realistically, I could just ignore the humans and do whatever I wanted...but, well, I’d been human once too.

In the end, I supposed it was human nature to seek relationships with others. What was the quote? “No man is an island, complete unto himself”?

Anyway, after my explanation, I answered some other questions about basic science.

“You’ve given us much to consider,” King Doma declared. “If you’ll wait in an antechamber, I’ll discuss your proposal with my advisors.” It seemed he was finally ready to make a choice. Honestly, though, my behavior probably wouldn’t change much either way.

“Very well. I await a favorable response.”

I exited the room and was met by a pair of maids, who led me to a very fancy waiting room. It seemed this was one of several antechambers connected to the palace’s ballroom; they were furnished this way so ladies could adjust their dresses and makeup while they waited. I sincerely hoped he wasn’t going to ask me to dance. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I’d danced maybe twice in my previous life, and not at all since becoming Lilac. In the event I was asked to dance, I could probably just float there with my wings and cheat my way through it, but that would make me look bad...

I did get asked to the senior prom in high school, by the way, but my brothers all attended the event as well. Every time my date even looked like he was going to touch me inappropriately, he was instantly bombarded by ominous glares from three different directions. We were both so nervous that our one attempt at actually dancing ended pretty badly, and we spent most of the event by the punch bowl. In the end he was too scared of my brothers to pursue a romantic relationship with me beyond the dance. Not that it would have mattered, really, with how busy I’d always been.

I sat in the antechamber and waited. The king’s answer would determine my relationship with Doma in the future. Would I become a helpful friend and trade partner, or a legend about a strange creature who lived in a tower in the forest?

From Another Point of View Part 11: Yomas

I didn’t know what to think when His Majesty asked me to attend a private meeting with the little lady of Grimwood. I was even less sure what to think afterward. The revelations we heard in that little conference room were incredible. Was it possible she was lying about any of it? Absolutely, but did that make sense? If the creature she brought into the room with her wasn’t really Worgin, why lie about it? Worgin wasn’t all that important politically. He’d certainly be missed by the scholars, but nobody else would pay him any mind. With what she’d said about immortality, we couldn’t treat him as Worgin anymore anyway. She could just as easily have told us that he’d died, and we’d have been none the wiser.

The king had sent the royal physician to treat Worgin, but she’d returned promptly, saying he was dying from old age. That woman detested wasting time. If she thought a patient was beyond help, she felt her time would be better spent on someone she could save. It was a bit harsh, but not entirely incorrect. In times of war or disaster, doctors treated the patients with the most severe wounds or symptoms first, but if any were too far gone, the doctors would just move on. Far better to save the next man than waste time on someone who would die no matter what. Then again, I supposed death was inevitable for us all. I’d heard that in some cultures people didn’t believe in doctors at all, and just let death come as it would.

I turned to His Majesty after our guests left the room. “What do you make of it, sire? Can she be trusted?”

“What reason does she have to lie?”

“About Worgin, certainly none. Regarding the air, however—”

“It certainly could be a ploy to keep us from asking for lumber. Then again, I’ve heard these towers of hers can house people, so perhaps we could make use of them for that purpose. That way, we wouldn’t need as much wood.”

“The idea makes me uneasy,” I admitted. “After all, she controls what happens inside those towers to a large degree. She could easily hold our people hostage if we’re not careful.”

“She doesn’t really seem the type,” mused the king. “After dealing with my brother for so long, I’ve gotten pretty good at detecting lies. She doesn’t strike me as a schemer; I personally believe we can take her at her word. We should discuss her proposal with the rest of the ministers and my advisors. Let us adjourn to another conference room, as this one is ill-suited to such a large group.”

As the king instructed, he and I relocated to a larger conference room, and were soon joined by the other ministers and advisors. The meeting was contentious, and lasted far longer than it should have. From fairly early on, everyone was in agreement about putting a wall around the Grimwood. Our real debate was over how many more towers the girl should be allowed to place within the borders of the kingdom beyond that. She’d already demonstrated how she could potentially strangle a city in Finnelbraugh, and many feared she would do the same to the entire kingdom if she could. One wrong move, and we’d all be her hostages. Objections were raised one after the other, but the king put an end to them with one simple question:

“How would you propose we stop her, then? It seems to me that she could do whatever she pleased, and we’d be powerless to prevent it. Far better, then, to negotiate as equals, and obtain terms favorable to the kingdom. If we object or refuse too strongly, she may do exactly as you suggested and strangle this kingdom with an abundance of her towers. Therefore, I’d like to ask her if she would request permission before placing a tower in our kingdom anywhere outside of the Grimwood. In exchange, I’m more than willing to cede the entirety of the Grimwood region the kingdom currently claims to her. Truthfully, she could just wall it off and take it anyway, so we’re not really losing anything.”

With this logic thrust in their faces, the ministers and advisors began to see Lady Grimwood in a new light.

“It’s true, she’s actually being quite generous and polite to even bother negotiating.”

“She must truly value peace.”

“What an astute ruler.”

“I wonder if she’s married?”

That question caused quite a stir, and they spent a few minutes speculating about her prospects. The king put a stop to it after the discussion started trending toward his eldest son, who was currently in the nursery.

In the end, it was decided that we would cede the Grimwood to her in exchange for the wall, and require her to ask permission each and every time she wanted to construct a tower inside the kingdom’s borders. If she agreed to that, our troubles with the monster-filled forest would be truly over.

From Another Point of View Part 12: Baron Sedestin

A rank stench met my nose as I descended the stairs. The odor was so foul I covered my nose with a handkerchief in an attempt to block it. I was on my way to the deepest parts of the castle dungeon, to meet with a prisoner there. Well, not just to meet—to liberate. Duke Finlaud had rotted in this hole long enough.

He’d been down here for weeks; nearly two seasons. Meanwhile, the little wench responsible was here in the palace, and much of the security detail was busy with the forces she’d brought along. They weren’t fighting, but they still needed to be watched. This gave me an excellent opportunity to add plenty of my own troops to the detail. With enough men inside of the castle, I could finally liberate the duke, and together, we would place him on the throne. Then those fools who opposed him would be hanged, and I would become a count, or perhaps even a marquis. After that, our new king would dispose of that wretched little monster from the Grimwood.

In preparation for this day, I had spent hours poring over old texts in the archives. After weeks of research, I finally found what I was looking for: a tome detailing the history of the treasured sword of the royal family. In times long past, strange creatures from another world had appeared. For a time, they had lived peacefully alongside the people of this world. They supposedly had brought many new possibilities with them, but they had also tried to impose their values on the rest of the world. In the end, thirteen great weapons were forged from a special metal from their world. These weapons were the only things that could kill the invaders.

After a war that spanned centuries, the last of their kind was finally snuffed out. Apparently, in the last years of that war, the lands were divided by the great oceans, as well as the Grimwood and other places like it—a sort of spiteful way to divide the races of man and ensure they could no longer work together cohesively.

Fortunately, the interlopers were defeated in the end, but now it seemed as though they weren’t really all gone after all. This obnoxious brat who had shown up in the Grimwood had to be some sort of remnant from those times. Perhaps she had been sealed away, or maybe she hatched from an egg after being dormant for centuries... However exactly it was she’d survived, the royal family still held one of the thirteen weapons—which meant Duke Finlaud could take up the royal family’s treasure and kill that little wench once and for all.

Armed with this knowledge, and accompanied by my most trusted men, I paid a “visit” to the duke. He looked to be in an absolutely detestable state, but he still held on to his pride.

“Your Grace, it is I, Baron Sedestin.”

“What news, good baron?” he replied. His mental faculties were as sharp as ever.

“That little wretch from the Grimwood is inside the castle at this very moment,” I told him. “I’ve researched the old tomes, and I think I have a way to finally be rid of her. The sword passed down in the royal family is one of the very same thirteen weapons that destroyed those like her in ancient times. All you need to do is take up that blade, and you’ll be able to slay her without any difficulty.”

“Truly? Then I can finally have my revenge! When can you have me out?”

“This very moment. I have my best men with me, ready to put you on the throne.”

“Make it so,” he ordered.

“At once, Your Grace.”

With a swift hand gesture, I signaled my men to begin the attack. They took out the dungeon guards in no time. Once the guards were relieved of their keys, Duke Finlaud was free, just like that.

“How many men do you have within the palace?” he asked.

“Only about a hundred or so, brought in under the pretense of reinforcing the palace guard for the little monster’s visit. I had to keep the number small to avoid suspicion. The palace has eyes and ears everywhere, but fear not; I have some loyal men stationed outside the walls. When they receive a certain signal, they’ll send word to all of our allies. I couldn’t communicate to them ahead of time without risking the palace’s shadows getting wind of it. We must act now or never. I’ll see you on the throne before the day is out.”

“Sedestin, you’ve truly outdone yourself. I’ll see to it that you’re rewarded.”

“You’re too kind, Your Grace. I look forward to the moment I can call you my king.”

Things progressed rapidly from there. I took the opportunity to present the duke with a fresh set of clothes, and he took the opportunity to shave off the unsightly facial hair he’d grown during his stay. Once he was changed, we left the dungeon, accompanied by my men. It was regrettable that we couldn’t spare the time for his grace to have a proper bath, but there would be ample opportunity for that later. We took the most direct route to the treasury, silencing the palace’s guards as we went. The fewer we left alive, the fewer we’d have to contend with later.

Once we gained access to the treasury, the duke was able to retrieve the royal family’s treasured sword. It was a unique weapon; the metal was nearly the same color as a clear sky, and intricate designs were carved into both the hilt and the blade. There was no doubt about it. This was the genuine article.

Our next objective was to rendezvous with the rest of my men inside of the palace. From there, we’d signal the troops outside of the palace, who would alert our allies. The plan was well underway.

Most of my men were in the courtyard, assigned to guard the entourage that little wretch had brought with her. I silently signaled them all to abandon their posts, and they formed ranks behind me. One of the little monsters from the Grimwood asked what was going on, but I took care of it.

“We’re only going to make the rounds,” I told the vile creature. “I trust you won’t cause any trouble while we’re away.”

That was all it took. The little trolls were probably too concerned with how their actions would reflect on their obnoxious ruler to do anything. As we made our way to the throne room, any small pockets of resistance we encountered were eliminated right away. Unfortunately, however, when we arrived, the throne room was nearly deserted. We captured the guards stationed there alive, in order to interrogate them. This was the worst-case scenario. The king should have been in the middle of an audience with that little wretch. If they weren’t here, then they must have—

“Of course! They must have retreated to a conference room to negotiate with her,” His Grace deduced. As expected of Duke Finlaud; he’d figured it out just as I did.

Unfortunately that did little to narrow down where exactly the king could be. There were a great many conference rooms in the palace, of different shapes and sizes. The layout of the palace was designed to confuse invaders, so not even a frequent visitor like myself knew every one of those rooms. Searching blindly would only cost us time. We needed to interrogate the guards here. No matter what sorts of cruel torture we had to subject them to, the time spent would be far less than searching ourselves.

How unfortunate that the current king chose to treat that little pest as an equal, and negotiate with her. He could have just taken up the treasured sword himself and killed her personally. Instead, the task fell to his brother.

“We must hurry and interrogate the guards here,” I said. “We’ve no time to be gentle. If we’re too rough with the first few, it’ll lower the morale of the rest. Start with the older guards first.” My orders, like the torture itself, were cruel yet necessary.

With that, my men set to work. They broke bones and twisted limbs. We didn’t have any of the crueler implements at hand, but we didn’t need them. I had my troops begin with the older, more obstinate troops. They maimed them, or just killed them outright when they refused to talk. When they finally started interrogating the younger guards, the ones with a lot to live for, it didn’t take long to secure the information we needed. Of course, once we had that information, we couldn’t just leave all of those hale and hearty young men there to oppose us later. What happened next was obvious.

“Kill them.”

Duke Finlaud himself gave the order. He knew just as well as I did what must be done. The young men cried and wailed as they were slaughtered. Spineless louts, the lot of them. They’d betrayed their king, and their country. They deserved to die.

“I must apologize for making such a frightful mess of the throne room,” I said.

“It’s no matter,” the duke replied icily. “We both know it had to be done. There was no reason to let such disgraceful louts live.” No surprise there. Duke Finlaud was the man I’d chosen to follow, after all.

We made our way to the conference room the younger guards had indicated. We ran into a few more small groups of guards here and there, but ultimately, we made it there without much trouble. As we drew closer to the door, looks of concern flashed across the faces of the men guarding it. There were quite a few of them—this was definitely the place. There wouldn’t have been this much security unless there was someone truly important in the room behind them. There were probably a few more stationed inside the room as well.

“This is it, Your Grace,” I whispered. “Your brother is just behind that door. We need only remove these last few guards.”

“Do it,” ordered the duke.

“You heard him, men! Attack!”

Being a larger security detail, and one positioned so close to the king, these men put up much more of a fight. They formed ranks, determined to protect the door behind them. The clash of blades echoed throughout the halls, and men from both sides fell. I admit I was a bit worried for a moment, but after a few minutes of conflict, my men had taken far fewer casualties.

In war, a battle didn’t usually continue until one side was completely eradicated. Normally, a commander would withdraw once his troops sustained a certain number of losses. This allowed them to preserve their forces for later battles. These guards had no such luxury; if they failed here, their king would die, and they would be executed for defending him. Their families might even face death along with them. They had their backs to the wall, and were about to be wiped out.

“Hey!” someone shouted. “Don’t you humans know it’s bad form to let swine roam the halls of your palace?!”

A lone figure stood in the hall. He was comically short, with putrid-looking green skin and something red smeared on his face. He wore black armor, and a sword on his back that was far too big for him.

“One of the little monster’s people?” I looked to His Grace for confirmation.

“Oi! I heard that,” the goblin snarled. Those pointy green ears of his must not have just been for show. “Did you just mock Her Royal Majesty? I’ve decided. Bacon bits for everyone. It’s open season on filthy pigs! Anyone who has a problem with me killing those two hogs over there can come at me. I’m not gonna hold back, though!”

Unfortunately for him, we still had the numerical advantage.

“You three, go kill that goblin over there.”

Duke Finlaud gave orders to my men, as befit his station. The three of them approached the little green monster, blades at the ready. The little fool just stood there, probably frozen in terror.

“Only three? I’m insulted you think so little of me. Let’s see if I can change your minds. Niteguillo Vewa!”

The movement was so swift I couldn’t follow it. The next thing I knew, the goblin was shaking the blood off of his sword, and the three men we sent after him had been hacked to bits. I stood there in stunned silence, but fortunately, Duke Finlaud knew what to do. He beckoned to a group of men standing behind us, and had them position themselves between us and the goblin. They stood there, swords and spears at the ready, awaiting orders.

“Finish off the guards in front of the door first,” the duke told them. “We can crush the little goblin later.”

Ah, truly a levelheaded decision. Only a fool would follow our current king over Duke Finlaud. We were only a few steps away from the throne now. Our moment was nearly—

“Ignoring me? Can’t say I recommend it. I said it before, I’m gonna kill those pigs, and anyone between me and them is just as dead. Shufla Debla!”

I stood in awe of the scene of carnage before me. My men were neatly cleaved in half by unseen blades that moved too quickly to evade. Nearly all of them in the hall were dead. More than half of the forces I had brought with me had been wiped out by a single opponent.

“Hey, you guys in front of the door still okay?” the horrid creature said. “I was tryin’ not to kill any of ya, but it’s tough to control my strength. Sorry if I took out any of the king’s guards by mistake.”

“N-no, those of us left are all fine, Sir Goblin,” one of the frightened guards managed.

“Sir Goblin? No thanks. Just call me Ringo, it’s the name Her Majesty gave me. It’s way better.”

How can this be happening? This goblin just casually murdered my elite troops in an instant without even breaking a sweat. It’s impossible!

“Y-Your Grace, perhaps we should—”

But just as I was about to suggest retreat, the duke interrupted my cowardly line of thought. “It’s fine. I’ll take him myself,” he boldly declared as he took up the treasured sword of the royal family.

I was ashamed of myself, but the duke stood tall and proud. He looked so gallant and manly. How very foolish I’d been. To doubt our victory for even a moment was unbecoming of a faithful retainer such as myself. As the duke stood valiantly and faced the goblin alone, I led our remaining men in another attack on the conference room. The clash of blades rang out anew as we tried to eliminate the last obstacles between the duke and the throne. I found myself unable to tear my eyes away from the duke’s battle.

Armed with the treasured sword, the duke held his own against the evil goblin. His nimble movements were every bit as fast as his opponent’s—nay, even faster. The swordplay that had single-handedly decimated our forces was unable to best Duke Finlaud. His mighty blows didn’t yield an inch as he quickly turned the battle to our advantage. The powers of the treasured sword were truly a thing of wonder, but without the masterful swordplay of someone like the duke, it would have been useless. I couldn’t have been more proud in that moment.

“Heh, you’re nothing special, but that sword sure is nice,” the goblin sneered shamelessly. “If it weren’t for that, I’d have lopped both your arms off by now.”

How dare that miserable cretin belittle the duke like that? Once he’s beaten, I’ll have him skinned alive.

“Your bluff and bluster won’t save you,” Duke Finlaud shot back. “This sword has the power to bring a permanent end to your abominable kind. Once I’ve consigned you to oblivion, the little wench is next.”

The next moment, Duke Finlaud’s cheek was bleeding. I didn’t see how the wound was made, but its sudden appearance unnerved the duke.

The little imp sighed. “Ah, it’s difficult to aim while I’m moving so fast. I meant to take your head off with that one, but all I did was slice your cheek. I should probably just hack off your arm; that way, you won’t be able to use that sword anymore.”

“Don’t let a lucky shot go to your head, whelp! I still have the advantage here.”

“Assuming I’m younger? It’s true, but you shouldn’t. Our people can live for centuries and still look just like this. And just because we’re young doesn’t mean you should let your guard down! I’m still warming up, and my sword arm is a bit stiff. Once I get in a few more practice swings, I’ll start sending your limbs flying.”

“Then I’d better kill you first!”

His Grace flew at the insolent goblin, unleashing a superb flurry of swordplay. It wouldn’t be much longer now. As each move played out, the future king pressed his advantage. The goblin was clearly on the defensive. With each swing, the duke’s movements became sharper and more defined. It seemed His Grace was also “just warming up.” Finally, the moment came when the duke deflected one of the goblin’s strikes and knocked him off-balance. Duke Finlaud raised the treasured sword above his head and swung downward. My heart pounded in my chest as the goblin’s eyes went wide with shock. The little pest knew he wouldn’t be able to block the lethal attack. A grin crept onto my face as I waited for the satisfying sound of sword meeting flesh.

Then, suddenly, it was over. The blade stopped before it reached its intended target. The duke hadn’t suddenly changed his mind and decided to spare him. Instead the sword was caught by a tiny hand, which seemed no worse off for its contact with the blade.

“Didn’t I tell you not to start any trouble, Ringo?”

“I didn’t start anything, the trouble was already in full swing when I got here.”

“Oh, you’re right, it’s Duke Pervy Pants. Looks like he got into daddy’s toy collection and found something dangerous. Bad boy, this toy is a bit too much for you.”

With a swift motion, she jerked the treasured sword out of Duke Finlaud’s hands. The next moment, the sword disappeared into nothingness.

“Th-The sacred sword of the royal family!” the duke cried. “What have you done?!”

“Sacred? If it’s sacred, you really shouldn’t be swinging it around like a toy and trying to get blood all over it. Besides, it was the people of the Unseen Realm who gave that sword to your ancestors in the first place. The materials it’s made from are a part of my territory, so I’m just reclaiming them. If the king has a problem with that, I’ll have my smith create a new weapon for him that isn’t so awful.”

“Damn you! Damn you, Lilac Grimwood!”

I knew it: this was her. The inhuman creature that had appeared in the Grimwood from nowhere. She floated between the duke and the goblin, suspended on luminous wings bigger than the rest of her body. Where had she come from? How did she block that strike? There were too many questions.

Despair crept into my heart. We’d lost the treasured sword that was to have been the means of killing her. How could this have happened? The thirteen weapons were supposed to be the only things capable of ending these creatures, so how could she have just stopped one like that? Her hand was completely unharmed, despite catching the blade mid-swing. It should have been mangled beyond recognition. Why had this little monster appeared? How dare she ruin the machinations of her betters? How could she be this strong?

“J-just what are you?” I blurted out.

“Me?” She turned to look at me. “I guess I’m just an adorable dungeon master.”

Chapter Thirteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Gets Involved

The maids in the castle seemed determined to serve me tea, but I told them I couldn’t drink it. Really, there were certain types of tea we could drink, but I wasn’t sure what the stuff they wanted to serve was made from. Think of it like an allergy—sometimes people who are allergic to nuts won’t eat chocolate because there are nuts being chopped in the same factory, and the chocolate might be contaminated. Avoiding an international incident by drinking tea that might be harmful was probably the best idea.

I ended up giving them some of the cherry rose tea I’d grabbed in the Unseen Realm instead. Since it was technically fruit, I could drink it just fine. I use that phrase, “technically fruit,” a lot.

As it turned out, if I made a fruit in the Unseen Realm, then brought it back with me, I could eat it no problem. Even if I did something crazy like make fruit with the same properties as bread dough (which I totally did), or one with insides like an egg (also did that), they still counted as fruit as far as our Sprigian stomachs were concerned. I was such a little cheater.

Anyway, I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when Ringo got bored.

“It’s taking them an awfully long time to decide something so simple. Should I go check on them, Your Majesty?”

“I’m sure they’re fine with me building a wall, so they’re probably arguing over something else. Like whether they’re going to ask for lumber or not.”

I thought my discussion with Ringo was over, but a few minutes later—

“Your Majesty, if I may, surely there’s no harm in simply checking in,” he insisted. “Would you give me permission?”

“Okay, go check on them, but be polite. I don’t want you to cause any trouble. Come right back when you’re done, even if the meeting isn’t over yet.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

He left with a bow.

I turned to the others. “If any of the rest of you are bored, you can have a turn when Ringo gets back.”

“Ringo just asked to leave because he didn’t want you to catch him staring at you.”

“Pomme, that’s mean,” Mela objected.

“It’s the truth, though,” said Pomme. “He’s so hopeless.”

“What do you mean, staring at me?” I said. “He needs to watch me as a guard, doesn’t he?”

Pomme snickered. “Yeah, I’m sure he’d be the first to notice anyone attacking your breasts or legs.”

“Pomme,” Mela scolded her, “he’s not even here to defend himself.”

“That’s his own fault. He needs to learn some self-control. Oh, and he should probably aim for someone in his league.”

“W-well, you and he don’t really get along, and as for me, I, uh, um—”

Mela’s blushing face was so cute. Wait, did she like Ringo, then? More importantly, did Ringo like me? I was going to have to get together with them for some serious girl talk... Later, though. For now, I needed to put a stop to this before someone’s feelings get hurt.

“That’s enough, Pomme,” I told her. “This isn’t the place to discuss such things. I’ll arrange some time to talk things over with you and Mela privately later. There are many things I wish to ask you about.”

“Uh, sure, Your Majesty.”

Oh wow, is that the rare blushing Pomme I see over there? I’m definitely saving this replay. Maybe just a few stills of her blushing. On second thought, the way she fidgets is something else, I gotta keep the video version.

After that, I sat and enjoyed my tea in silence for a while, but eventually worry crept in. Ringo hadn’t returned.

“Don’t you think Ringo is taking too long?” Mela asked nervously, fidgeting in place. “If he just went straight there and back, he should have returned by now, right?”

“He probably shot his mouth off again,” Pomme scoffed. “He’s terribly rude to everyone but you, Your Majesty.”

Mela pouted. “He’s not that bad.”

I checked my tablet. There was a map of the places we’d been in the palace, and I could see Ringo’s position on it.

“It says he’s in the hall near the conference room. He seems to be staying in the same spot though. Why isn’t he on the way back here?” I wondered aloud.

“Shall we investigate, Your Highness?” said Mela.

“No, I have a bad feeling about this. Stay here until I call for you.”

With those instructions, I deployed my wings and flew through the halls of the palace as fast as they could carry me. The layout of the palace was tricky, but I had a map, so I didn’t get lost. When I finally caught up, I was totally horrified by what I saw.

First of all, there was blood splattered all over the place. If that wasn’t bad enough, there were mangled human body parts scattered around as well. Ringo had his sword out, locked in battle with a human. Looking behind them, there seemed to be two groups of humans fighting each other as well, though I couldn’t tell them apart from one another. More importantly, it looked like the guy Ringo was fighting was about to win. The weapon in his hands was a strange color, and it gave off the same vibes as the Unseen Realm.

I remembered Redimir’s old stories about weapons that could end the lives of those intertwined with that world. My body moved before I had a chance to think.

Luckily, everything around me was effectively in super slow motion thanks to my wings. Faster than instantly, I put myself in between Ringo and the person attacking him. I reached out toward the strange sword and I pinched the slow-moving blade between my thumb and forefinger, stopping it completely. It all happened so fast, I didn’t realize it until I was right in his face, but the guy attacking Ringo was none other than Lord Sexual Harassment himself. I’d thought he was supposed to be locked up. He did smell like he’d been kept somewhere dank for a while, actually... Yuck, he reeked pretty bad.

I took the chance to admonish Ringo a little for getting into trouble.

“Didn’t I tell you not to start any trouble, Ringo?” I didn’t take my eyes off of the duke while I spoke; he was likely to get grabby if I gave him the opportunity.

“I didn’t start anything, the trouble was already in full swing when I got here.”

So I wasn’t imagining the two groups of humans fighting over there.

“Oh, you’re right, it’s Duke Pervy Pants. Looks like he got into daddy’s toy collection and found something dangerous. Bad boy, this toy is a bit too much for you.” I yanked the sword out of the drippy duke’s hands and stowed it in my inventory. I’d destroy it in the Unseen Realm later.

Without the substantial stat buffs he’d been getting from the weapon, the duke was back to his pathetic old self. I didn’t have any sort of skill for stealing items, but I was way stronger than he was. He had to let go, or I would have torn his arm off. At the very least, I would have had Ringo cut it off for me. Either option would involve getting blood all over me again, though, so I went with brute force.

“Th-The sacred sword of the royal family!” the duke wailed. “What have you done?!” He really did sound like a kid throwing a tantrum.

“Damn you! Damn you, Lilac Grimwood!”

Truly a poet. The duke sure has a way with words.

“J-Just what are you?”

The question came from a guy who didn’t look like he belonged there. He was wearing the fine clothes of a noble, in warm crimson colors. His hair was light brown, almost blond, and I supposed he was maybe a bit handsome—by this world’s standards anyway.

I thought about it for a moment. I could explain what a Sprigian was, but that probably wasn’t what he was really asking. He probably wanted to know just why I could do all the things I could do. So I gave him the first reply that came to mind:

“Me? I guess I’m just an adorable dungeon master.”

Truer words were never spoken. Muy bien!

But it looked like he didn’t get it. “Just what is that supposed to mean?” he sputtered.

“Baron Sedestin,” the duke interrupted, “we’ve lost the advantage here; we must flee.”

Ah so this guy was a baron. Guess he worked for the duke. That was probably how the duke got out. What a pain.

“Your Grace!” the baron cried. “My most humble apologies. We retreat for now, men!”

Baron New Guy and Duke Dipstick made a run for it, but I had a secret weapon to stop them in their tracks.

“How cute, they think they’re running. Ringo, target their legs; I want them left alive.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty.”

Ringo put himself between me and the duke’s retreating troops. A fierce grin spread across his face. I realized he was probably just smiling because I’d asked for his help, but what happened next just made him look psychotic.

“Shufla Debla!”

One swing from Ringo’s sword, and the duke and his goons were on the ground with no legs below the knees. Incidentally, “Shufla Debla” was one of Ringo’s special attacks; the name was Sprigian for “Flash Blade.” It was essentially a series of superfast sword strokes that created blades of wind pressure to mow down your enemies. I was expecting him to maybe just cut their ankles or something, but he really went and amputated every one of their legs below the knee. How brutal. If he really did like me, showing me how savage he was probably wasn’t the way to win me over. Men, am I right?

I turned to the men in front of the conference room door. “Could one of you please explain to King Doma what just happened before all of these guys bleed out? I’d rather not get involved with this kingdom’s politics, but I’m pretty sure these guys tried to kill one of my underlings. Is that correct?”

“Queen Grimwood, Sir Ringo saved us when we were about to be overrun by the duke’s men,” one of the guards said hastily. “If not for him, the king may very well have perished. We owe the two of you our lives, if not our country. I will report to His Majesty at once.”

Wait a minute, isn’t that a really huge deal? Wipe that smug look off of your face, Ringo, you only came out here because you were bored. It was a fluke, an accident. He probably saw the duke and picked a fight with him. Why are these humans looking at us like we’re angels? I mean, sure, I kinda am, but Ringo is the type of guy who thinks hacking his enemies to bits is fun. Please don’t look at him like he’s your new role model.

It took a while for the guards outside the conference room to convince the ones inside that the commotion was over. They delivered their report loudly, so everyone on the other side of the door could hear it. Eventually, the guards inside the room cautiously opened the door. They surveyed the scene and relayed to the king that the description was accurate. Ringo looked like the cat that got the canary. The smug grin on his face was proof of how pleased he was.

Eventually, the king appeared to witness the carnage for himself. Needless to say, he was appalled by the state of the corridor.

“Wh-What is— No, call for a doctor immediately!”

“Actually, I can heal them all,” I interrupted. “I just need you to make sure they’ve been properly restrained. I probably can’t do anything for those who have already died, but the ones who just had their legs cut off should be fine.”

“Very well. Restrain them all immediately!”

Things happened pretty quickly after that. The palace guards called for reinforcements, and along the way they found a whole bunch more injured guys, along with even more dead ones. I healed the good guys right away, but I only healed the bad ones once they were safely tied or shackled. It was a complete healing, too, so all those hacked off limbs were properly reattached. The corridor was still a bloody mess, but at least I was able to save a few people. Blood and gore were still splattered everywhere, and it was easier to smell the stench of it without the sour-smelling duke around.

“Now that the adrenaline of the situation has left me, I find myself nauseated by this scenery,” I said with a sigh. “If you don’t mind, I’ll excuse myself, and adjourn to the antechamber. I truly pity whoever is tasked with cleaning up this mess.”

That’s right, I didn’t have some sort of overpowered isekai skill for cleaning things. I had subordinates who could clean up quickly, but most of them couldn’t leave the dungeon. Besides, there were dead people here—any sort of magical cleanup would likely erase everything foreign from the room, including the corpses, and those remains, even as mangled as they were, should rightfully be returned to their families.

Though I supposed it would depend on the will of the caster. Yeah, magic could be scary sometimes.

“I’ll send for you later, then,” the king agreed. “Please excuse the mess.”

“Oh, and King Doma,” I warned. “This will be the last time I spare him. If he raises a hand against me or my people just one more time, I’ll kill him where he stands. If you’d rather not let that happen, I’d suggest keeping a better eye on him, or just executing him outright. Brother or not, he was definitely trying to kill you today.”

I left with that final parting shot. Nothing more needed to be said.

When I returned to the antechamber, Ringo braced himself for a scolding. He got a hug instead. I wrapped my arms around him and held on supertight. When I saw that sword coming down... Thinking about what would have happened if I’d arrived any later, I shuddered. I’d nearly lost him, forever, and that would have been awful. He still wasn’t boyfriend material, but I’d really hate it if he died.

The others were very confused, especially Mela, who looked a bit panicked.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” I said, releasing Ringo so I could look him right in the eyes.

“Hey, relax, I would have been—”

He tried to play it off, but I interrupted him.

“Killed! You were about to die!”

“Even if I got killed back there, I would have just gone back to the Unseen—”

“You don’t get it!” I cried. “That sword he was about to slice you with was made with materials from the Unseen Realm. If you’d been killed by it, it would have destroyed your spiritual body as well. I almost lost you back there. Permanently! If I’d arrived just a few moments later, I would have been avenging your death instead of having all those people restrained. Do you understand me?”

Ringo’s eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open a bit. I could see he finally understood just how close he’d come to oblivion. The others seemed to understand as well.

My hands were trembling as I let go of Ringo. I clenched my fists. As soon as I got back to the relative privacy of the antechamber, my emotions just spilled out. My royal facade crumbled away, and my worries and fears burst out. Even so, I managed to keep from crying. I looked around, and decided I needed to calm down. I sat down and rang a bell I’d been given to summon one of the maids outside of the room.

After the castle’s maids brewed me a fresh pot of cherry rose tea, I sat and drank it in silence with my eyes closed. When I did happen to open my eyes to check, I saw a taciturn Ringo, reflecting seriously on his brush with death.

It was much easier to risk your life when death wasn’t the end. If you played virtual poker, you could take bigger gambles with in-game funds than with real money. It changed the way you saw risk. When you were playing a video game, you were more likely to take a chance on a precarious jump, because if you died there were plenty more lives where that came from. For Ringo, the revelation that he could have died permanently in that battle must have been a shock. Team Apple treated themselves as expendable shields, feeling safe in the knowledge they would always return from the Unseen Realm after death. This incident seemed to instill something new in all of them.

“I-I’m so glad you’re safe!” Mela burst out.

I looked up to see Mela in front of Ringo, her clenched fists trembling. She looked to be on the verge of tears. Oops, did I make her jealous with that hug? I’d meant it as the sort of hug I’d give to a plush toy, or a beloved pet. It wasn’t the sort of embrace a woman gave the man she loved. (Just so you know, the difference was where the hands are. When a woman hugs a man she loves, her arms should be around his neck. It brings her lips closer to his...and aligns certain other things as well. I’d hugged Ringo around his torso, under his arms. More of a bear hug. That’s a hug for friends and family.)

Oho? Is Mela going to make a move? When I looked, I noticed Pomme and Manzana were holding hands. Each of them must have been thinking about how awful it would be to lose the other. Ugh, the mood was so somber and depressing, but I didn’t try to change it. This was something important for them, a lesson that would shape their personalities in the future. If it changed the way they fought, and made them value their lives more, then it was a good thing.

Mela seemed frozen; she just stood there in front of Ringo, trembling and blushing. Ringo didn’t seem to know how to respond either. He thought about it for a moment, and then—

“Thank you,” he told her. “I’m sorry to have worried you.” Then he approached me and said the same thing.

“As long as you learn from this, and value your life more in the future, I will accept your apology. That goes for the rest of you as well. It doesn’t make me even a little happy to hear that you laid down your life for my sake. You can’t protect me if you’re gone.”

The other three stood at attention.

“Yes, Your Majesty!” Mela agreed.

“Of course!” Pomme enthusiastically seconded.

Manzana just responded with a grunt. He really was the quiet type.

I wondered if he opened up to Pomme when they were alone together. Maybe they just liked to sit in silence and hold hands... In some ways that was even more romantic. When two people were so comfortable with one another that they felt better by just being around each other, that was real love. Just thinking about it made me want to sigh.

Right about then, there was a knock at the door. Apparently, the king was finally ready to talk again.

Even before this little incident, I’d already been in an overwhelmingly advantageous position for negotiations. Now the duke had gift wrapped an even better one for me. Nearly having one of my royal guards killed during a peaceful diplomatic visit was quite serious, and I planned to use it for all the leverage it was worth. Negotiations were about to get heated. If they thought I wasn’t going to ask for more based on what had just happened, they were sorely mistaken.

A few minutes later, I was in the smaller conference room with King Doma again.

“We have decided to agree to cede the entirety of the portion of the Grimwood we currently lay claim to, in return for you building a wall of towers to contain the monsters there,” the king began.

“I’m glad we could come to an understanding in regards to that matter, and I’d be happy to sign or affix my seal to any of the required documents,” I said. “However, in regards to my other request, I’m afraid I must now insist on constructing a path to the royal capital. There are seeds of conflict here that I must monitor diligently. In exchange for that, and the treasured sword I retrieved from the duke, I am willing to grant you a new sword that will suit you better, and forgive your brother’s attempt to kill one of my guards.”

Was it heavy-handed? Yes, but it was effective.

“I-I see. That’s very thoughtful of you. If you would, I’d like to know where exactly you plan to place the towers for your path to the capital, so we can ask for changes if there are any problems. Is that all right?”

The king did his best under pressure. Normally he’d only ever have had to negotiate like this with people of inferior positions; I supposed you could say international diplomacy was an area where he didn’t have much experience.

“Certainly,” I agreed. “If you’ll prepare a venue, I’ll be happy to show your advisors where I plan to erect my towers and how they would be linked together. Just so we’re clear, there will be a small group of guards stationed at each one. I hope that’s not an issue.”

“When you say ‘small,’ how many would there be?”

Ah, that’s a fair question. Although I said “a small group of guards,” due to the nuances of the language, he may have thought I meant many small guards...

“Four. That is the minimum required number for a tower to function. Once the new towers are established and linked together, the Irregulars assigned to it will likely spend most of their time inside. It’s not a bad arrangement for you. They’re basically free security for travelers. Of course, I can have them all gather at specific points—so if I have four Irregulars per tower, and five towers, I could move all twenty to the entrance of a single tower, for example.”

I laid out my cards on the table, hiding nothing. Once I linked these new towers together, I could quickly assemble my forces if I needed to. Better to give them that information now than surprise them with it later.

The king nodded. “I see. That does make sense. As long as the number is kept to the minimum, I don’t mind guards being in place. I can see I’ll have to give your offer special consideration to remove the blot on our kingdom’s honor.”

Good, he got it. What a great king. I was sure that in the back of his mind he had to be thinking about the possibility that I would send an army to his doorstep, but hopefully he understood I had no intention of going to war with him.

“If you’d like, I can give you and your advisors a presentation on where my towers will be placed as soon as a room is prepared,” I offered.

“Very well. I’ll send for you as soon as the room is ready.”

The meeting adjourned, and I went back to the antechamber. I’d scouted trees I could use to make towers during the carriage ride here, so all I’d need to do now was explain the route to the king. I knew I’d be able to counter any excuses they might come up with. Honestly, I hated being heavy-handed, but I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by. A secure trade route in Doma would allow me to bring people to the main tower more easily. Then, I could convince people to live there and farm the dungeon. More farmers meant more points. Oh, in case you don’t game much, when I say “farm” I mean killing monsters for treasure and experience points...although I didn’t actually know if the people here earned experience points or not.

In the current situation, it’d be a waste to create superstrong monsters nobody could defeat. I’d do the opposite, and flood most of the dungeon with low-level trash monsters anyone could handle. Then I could put treasure chests everywhere, and people could barter with the items they found. They’d get treasure, which they could sell for money, and I’d get dungeon points. Everyone won.

I just had to get through a little presentation.

From Another Point of View Part 13: King Doma Attends a Presentation

Unbelievable. That was perhaps the best word to describe that day.

Just as it seemed negotiations would conclude successfully, my brother escaped from prison and attempted a coup. During the chaos, one of our guests intervened and was nearly killed. My kingdom found itself in a very difficult position. From a diplomatic perspective, our position had been weak from the start, but now, metaphorically speaking, we were pinned to the floor. From this negotiating position, mercy was about the best we could hope for. Fortunately, Queen Grimwood seemed inclined to forgive our blunder in exchange for us meeting her demands. It wasn’t as though we could stop her from doing what she wanted regardless. By agreeing, we lessened the tension between us, and sought to maintain peaceful relations.

I’d heard the reports about the battle that took place outside the conference room. Just one of her subordinates had laid waste to the entirety of Baron Sedestin’s forces. With a single blow, nearly half of them were killed, while my men were spared. Hearing that was enough to send chills down my spine, but my brother had been able to gain the advantage over that same individual with the treasured sword passed down through our family. And yet, that same sword was unceremoniously plucked from his grasp by Queen Grimwood. She had spoken as though she were a mother disciplining a naughty child.

After that, the treasured sword had vanished, and nobody had seen it since. In our private meeting afterward, she offered to replace it with a sword that would be “more suitable,” which meant she had no intention of returning the treasured sword, since it posed a danger to her people. However, if the sword she presented was sufficient, it would certainly be possible to just claim the new sword was the one our family had always treasured, and leave it at that. Since most of the public had never had the opportunity to see the sword, in time, that story would become the truth.

Luckily, it seemed Queen Grimwood didn’t have a tyrannical or selfish disposition. If someone as strong as she was decided to be a despot, every human on the continent would suffer. Such was my estimation of her abilities. We were incredibly fortunate that she was so kind and gentle. I’d realized she was capable of incredible things when I heard the first reports, but with this latest incident I was forced to revise my evaluation of her. With her size, I must admit it was quite easy to underestimate Queen Grimwood’s strength. From what I’d gathered, despite her power, she didn’t rule through fear. Rather, her subordinates all shared a sort of fanatical devotion. I’d heard she didn’t even pay them, and when she tried to get them to take time off from their jobs, they thought it was a punishment.

When I met with Worgin privately, he’d told me that Queen Grimwood described her followers as “children trying to impress their parent.” She stressed that her underlings weren’t literally her children, but when I thought of it that way, their behavior made sense to an extent. The fact that she was concerned about things like wages and time off made me think that her mindset was closer to a human’s than her underlings’ were. While I found it interesting, it was probably best not to pry.

No matter how I thought about it, there were certainly some unusual circumstances related to Queen Grimwood’s sudden appearance. It was, perhaps, a nest of problems best left undisturbed.

“One of Queen Grimwood’s personal guards intervened,” I began, “and likely saved my life. He was nearly killed in the process, and Queen Grimwood confiscated the treasured sword from my brother. She doesn’t intend to return it, but has offered to replace it if we agree to her terms. Considering our worsened position, I believe she’s still being quite fair and reasonable.”

“This is why I was in favor of executing the duke,” the minister of defense complained. “I can’t believe what a headache this has become.”

“Please, we’ll have another meeting to decide my brother’s fate later,” I assured him. “Treason in deed is far more serious than in words alone.”

Many of the advisors in the room had wanted my treasonous brother executed when he was first arrested, and they certainly hadn’t changed their minds now. In fact, I was sure there were many more calls for his death following the incident that took place the day of this meeting. I was truly thankful for Queen Grimwood’s benevolence. If her voice had been among the ones asking for his head, my brother Finlaud would have been put to death for certain. It was a struggle to get the baying howls for my brother’s blood under control.

“I think the fates of Duke Finlaud and Baron Sedestin are intertwined with this thorny issue,” said the minister of finance. “I see no problem with discussing the two together, rather than separately.” He was certainly one for efficiency. He made a strong point.

This was a heated meeting with my ministers and advisors. The purpose of it was to hash out the details of our agreement with Queen Grimwood, but it was difficult to get the ministers to focus on the matter at hand. I felt it was very important to reply to Queen Grimwood while she was still feeling amicable. If we dragged these debates out, her mood could worsen, and she might ask for additional terms. She was certainly capable of being sweet-tempered, but she was also more dangerous than a mother armed bear protecting her young. I wasn’t very interested in finding out what would happen if we tested her patience.

“Right now the priority is reaching a consensus that we can deliver to Queen Grimwood quickly,” I reminded my ministers. “I shudder to think of what could happen if we anger her by keeping her waiting too long.”

This seemed to get the room to quiet down a bit.

“Your Majesty, you’re referring to her as a queen now?” Yomas observed.

I hadn’t realized until it was pointed out, but after she diffused that precarious situation, I’d subconsciously started treating her with more respect. Her performance must have left quite the impression.

“I don’t know exactly when, but at some point, I couldn’t see her as anything but a queen in my mind,” I admitted. “It would be rude, and possibly dangerous, to look down on her. I’d like to convey as much to the nobles as well. She’s agreed to the idea of taking over the Grimwood region in exchange for keeping the monsters contained, so the sooner we begin treating her like foreign royalty, the better.”

The mood in the room became more somber, and decorum was restored.

Once I’d set the tone for the discussion, I explained the situation regarding the tower route from the royal capital to Finnelbraugh. I’d thought there would be more resistance to the idea, but apparently, my words earlier had made it clear enough that we had very little room to negotiate. Once the situation had been adequately explained, I sent for Queen Grimwood. She arrived a few minutes later, with Worgin, or “Gin,” in tow.

Worgin and I had discussed his future when we talked privately earlier, and we’d decided that he would remain here for now, where he’d be treated as an ambassador from the Grimwood. To his old colleagues, Worgin would be dead, and the Sprigian, “Gin,” would stay in his quarters for a while, to research some of the documents in Worgin’s keeping. Queen Grimwood predicted that he’d be viewed with suspicion by the people in my castle and thought he’d be better off in the Grimwood, but I thought it best to at least give him some time here to put his affairs in order.

In the meeting room, Queen Grimwood used her strange powers to project an image of a map of the kingdom. The detail and clarity of it drew gasps from my advisors and ministers. She indicated where the towers would be positioned; anytime someone brought up a reason it would be problematic, she had an answer. In short, the paths between towers didn’t need to be set flush against the ground to act as a wall. They could be positioned higher, where they would serve as more of a bridge instead. Apparently the intent was to use these bridge-like connections to avoid dividing the kingdom. Faced with this proposal, the only basis for objection was a lack of trust. Just because she could raise the paths between towers didn’t mean she wouldn’t connect the towers close to the ground later when it suited her.

Unfortunately, it was bad form to raise such objections during negotiations, and we didn’t have the luxury of being able to refuse on such grounds. We were effectively forced into agreeing to her terms during the presentation itself, with no time to discuss things afterward. Due to the way she rebuked any objections with sound logic, nobody could argue with her effectively without being rude. She was truly a masterful diplomat, and it was perhaps the most terrifying thing about her. Despite her awesome power, she understood her position, and knew how to make the best of it. She knew exactly when to press her advantage, and when to offer a compromise.

The thing I found most interesting was her timetable. Apparently she couldn’t just make towers any size or shape she wanted right away. They started small and grew from there, like living things. It was strangely comforting, in a way, to know she wasn’t completely omnipotent. Hearing that she had limits brought us a strange sense of relief. It was possible she was lying about the constraints on her power, of course, but unlikely. More importantly, we wanted to believe those limits existed. After all, the alternative was far too terrible to imagine.

To an external observer, it might have seemed silly to be afraid of someone so small, but we were far beyond that point. Some of us had initially treated her like a child, certainly, but if anything, she saw us as juveniles. She’d talked down to my brother as though he were a petulant brat who took hold of something dangerous. When we made mistakes, she gently scolded us, rather than insisting on retribution. Could I have done the same in her position? I wasn’t so sure.

“With that out of the way, I’d like to discuss the less fortunate citizens of the royal capital,” Queen Grimwood said, once the matter of her towers had been settled. “On the way here, I noticed that there are quite a few places with deteriorating buildings where people still live. I was hoping to invite these people to live in my network of towers. There, I can provide a source of income, as well as food and clothing they can purchase with what they earn. It wouldn’t be a bad deal for the kingdom either.”

She surprised everyone again. Mouths hung open all over the room.

“Wh-When did you have a chance to take such a close look at the city?” Yomas managed to ask.

“When I have my wings out, everyone around me looks as though they’ve stopped,” she explained. “I have to make a serious effort just to slow down enough to perceive the speech of others in that state. As you might imagine, if I want to look around somewhere without being seen, I don’t have to try very hard. Don’t worry, I just explored the city a bit to clear my head. Honestly, I really wanted to see how your people were living.”

This revelation caused quite a stir. Just when we were relieved to hear about her limits, she reminded us how far away from normal those limits really were. No wonder she’d been able to take the treasured sword away from my brother. Fortunately, though, it sounded like she wanted to shelter the people of the slums and help them find work. I hated to sound heartless, but even if she had nefarious purposes in mind for them, it would have been a hard offer to refuse. The kingdom didn’t have the resources to improve their lives—at least, not yet.

“I’d like to offer those people jobs as farmers, as well,” I told her. “Once you’ve built your towers, a lot of fertile land will become safe to farm. We’ll need plenty of willing volunteers to work there. I was planning to grant four-plot leases to anyone willing to move there.” I volunteered the information freely; there was no reason to hide anything from her.

In recent years the population had expanded, while our nation’s agricultural output had remained the same. If we continued on this trajectory for another ten to twenty years, it would inevitably result in food shortages, and more people forced to live in poverty. Converting a portion of the slum population into farmers and laborers once the land was available would be essential. I could only hope Queen Grimwood would be understanding.

“Ah, so you had your own solution in mind.” She gave a charming smile. “I can’t stand the idea of those people living in such awful conditions, but if you’d be willing to grant them some land to work, I believe I can take care of their shelter needs.”

If that smile wasn’t genuine, I had no idea what lay beneath the facade—and frankly, I felt safer not knowing. Was she really offering to house them for free out of the goodness of her heart? Surely not. She had to have some sort of motive.

Yomas seemed to share my concern, but he was diplomatic as ever in voicing it. “That would be wonderful, but I’m not sure if we could adequately repay such kindness.”

There was nothing scarier in negotiations than something free. In high-level negotiations, “free” would often be leveraged against you later, and came at a hefty price.

“Oh, don’t worry, you guys won’t have to do anything,” she said. “If I house them, that will give them more space to grow crops, and they can sell some of the extra produce they grow to pay a small housing fee at the end of the year. Those who don’t pay will be asked to find their own shelter once spring arrives.”

“Truly?” I asked in disbelief. “You wouldn’t penalize them any more than that?”

“I’m not trying to kick people when they’re down. I plan to give them plenty of time to grow crops and get back on their feet before I bring up money. However, I don’t want them to feel they can just take advantage of me and stay there forever. Once they can afford it, I expect them to compensate me fairly for their housing. I also don’t mind helping them with food until they can grow or hunt enough to sustain themselves. I plan to examine each household’s situation and charge them accordingly. After all, a single person or a married couple with no children needs far less space and food than a growing family.”

“I’ll leave the finer details to you, then,” I agreed. “I appreciate your willingness to work with us on this matter.”

It was strange being so frightened of her and yet so willing to trust her charming smile. Queen Grimwood was a fantastic creature indeed.

After the meeting, the proposals were all drafted in writing. Queen Grimwood and I affixed our seals to the documents, which were then signed by a dozen witnesses present. With that, Grimwood became its own separate nation, governed by its own laws. That by itself was liberating, but also worrying. I had no choice but to hope for the best.

Chapter Fourteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Is Resourceful

The boring diplomatic stuff was finally over, and while Gin took care of his affairs back in Doma, I was busy creating the southern border of my fledgling nation. I converted plants along the edge of the forest into hollow trees, then made them into towers. Once the towers along the southern edge were all connected together, I decided to work on the eastern and western borders. Since the forest extended farther north, I just kept building along the edges until I hit the part of the continent that dropped steeply downward.

On the southern part of the continent, where Doma lay, there were sheer cliffs on all sides due to its altitude. Heading north, past the Grimwood Mountains, there was a steep drop, and the shores there were sandy beaches closer to sea level. This, coupled with the Grimwood itself, had kept Doma isolated almost completely for thousands of years. My construction would eventually fix that, if everything went well.

Once the wall around the southern half of the forest was complete, I created accommodations for the farmers who would soon be moving in. While I was at it, I installed towers along the route from the royal capital to Finnelbraugh. These would need time to gain enough dungeon points to grow tall enough to connect in the way I wanted. The ones along the border were much easier, since I could just connect them to the network of towers I already had and use points I’d already accumulated to grow them.

Once the residential areas were done, I had my Irregulars set up fences to separate the different pieces of land each farmer would get. The fences were made of special metals that wouldn’t rust. Hammer was the one who crafted the pieces; the Irregulars just had to assemble them.

They fenced off each individual parcel of land. There was a spot by the gate where a name plate could be added for the individual or family who was farming there. It would be up to each individual farmer what they built on their parcel, and what types of produce or livestock they would cultivate. Each parcel was four plots long. In this instance, a plot was a measurement of land roughly equivalent to an acre, which was also about the same size as one of the big squares on my map grid. So a four-plot lease was pretty attractive. Oh, and “lease” didn’t mean the farmer was renting the land. It just meant that the king owned the land and he would allow the tenant to grow food on it in exchange for a share of the harvest. The produce or livestock would be collected seasonally, and the crown sold off what it didn’t need through vendors in the royal capital.

In addition to that, those who chose to live in my towers would owe me a portion of their yield as well. However, I planned to make the portion modest and affordable, and most of it would likely be sold to other humans, since Sprigians could only eat fruit. I was actually quite eager to help people. I planned to have my Irregulars guard the farm plots, to prevent disputes between farmers. They’d be able to handle things like crop-eating rabbits, too, and nonmonster predators that might attack livestock.

As I was putting the finishing touches on my preparations, a group of unexpected visitors arrived.

It was the first time in quite a while that I’d seen Hegram and his men. They looked pretty much the same as last time, though. They were pretty blown away by the changes around the main tower. I think the thing that surprised them the most was my improved command of the Ausbarlian language.

“Wow, little lady, your language skills have improved a lot!” Hegram complimented me warmly as we greeted each other.

“Thank you very much, I had an excellent teacher,” I bragged.

“So you found someone to teach you? That’s great!”

I grinned as Hegram praised my progress, but quickly got back on topic. “What brings you back? Need to stock up on potions?”

“N-no, we were actually hired to try and arrange a meeting.”

Hmm. He sounded a bit nervous when I brought up challenging my dungeon again. I wonder why.

“Ah, who did you want to introduce me to?” I asked.

“King Dalvas of Gunzverg. It’s a small country to the north, and he wanted to talk to you about walling off the Grimwood and setting up a trade route.”

“Oh! One of the northern countries! Shall I just set up the wall and trade route on the way there, then? I’d eventually like to wall off the whole thing, but going to each of the northern countries one at a time sounds tedious. Do you think we could schedule a big meeting of diplomats from each nation, so I don’t have to waste my time talking to one at a time?”

Despite my enthusiasm, Hegram was in no position to offer guidance on this issue. “I’m afraid that’s something you’ll need to discuss with His Majesty.”

“Ah, of course; after all, you’re just the messenger in this case.”

“Yes, quite right,” he said with a relieved smile, glad that I understood his position.

“In that case, can I ask you to do something for me before your return trip?” I asked.

“What might that be?”

“Could you please challenge the dungeon again?” I really needed the points after all of the border building.

“Dungeon?”

“You know, the thing where you climb the tower and defeat the monsters inside. Then you get treasure for your trouble.”

“So you call that ‘challenging the dungeon’?”

“Yes. It would help me out quite a bit if you could run through at least once. If you like, we can discuss what sorts of treasures you want the chests to contain.”

“Wait, you can change what ends up in the chests?” Hegram asked, in a surprised sort of tone. I guess I shocked him a bit with that one.

“Well, there are rules, but yes,” I admitted.

“Couldn’t you put money in there, then?”

“No, that’s one of the rules.” Technically, I could put money in there, but it wouldn’t be a currency he and his friends recognized. I didn’t feel like explaining all that, though, so I skipped it.

“So, the items in the chests don’t come out of your own pocket, then?”

“Correct. They are created by the tower, so losing them doesn’t impact me in the slightest. I can’t just have my own guards open them, either.”

Hegram thought for a moment, then asked, “What do you gain from it?”

“That’s the key. The more of my minions you defeat within the dungeon, the more resources I can generate. In other words, the more you fight, the easier it becomes to grow and connect my towers. The items in the chests are meant to reward you for your trouble.”

“I see.”

“I noticed you don’t have the shield anymore. Did you sell it?”

“Er, yes.”

“A pity. I was planning to increase the power of your equipment to make it easier to defeat more powerful enemies. After all, I gain more from you defeating stronger enemies than weaker ones. Unfortunately, I couldn’t prepare equipment for all of you.”

“That makes so much sense.” He sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand your intentions back then.”

“It’s understandable, I couldn’t communicate very well last time.” I pulled out my tablet, and opened up the treasure menu to show it to Hegram. “Why don’t I show you how item chests work, and you can tell me what you’d like to receive? That way, it would be worth your while.”

“I think the men would probably be happier with booze,” he chuckled.

There was an item in the drop list called “Fairy’s Apple Wine,” and it was delicious, but the alcohol content wasn’t very high. It took about six bottles of the stuff to approach the alcohol in a single beer. I remembered players did the calculations on the internet, and there were debates over whether the description meant an American beer or a European one. Either way, I drank them fairly often and I never felt drunk. I figured Hegram’s guys would prefer something that could really get them hammered, so I decided to look into having Maple and Bistro make some strong booze for them.

“I can prepare some for you, out of my own pocket,” I told him. “It would be a silly thing to waste on a treasure drop. By the way, did you guys figure out the magic bags?”

“Ah, yes. One of the men discovered that if you put one into the other, it combines the storage capacity. I believe they can each hold a large number of the same thing, and up to ten different objects.”

“That’s close. As long as the items are considered ‘the same item,’ you can hold an infinite number of each thing in the bag; or at least, I haven’t discovered a limit yet. Each bag can hold a maximum of ten different items, but you can combine multiple bags together to increase the storage space. Also, if someone else takes your bag, or tries to remove items from it without permission, they won’t find anything inside. Once the bag is registered to an owner, the bag and the items inside are the exclusive property of that person until they either die or gift the bag to someone else.”

“Ah, I hadn’t realized they had anti-theft properties,” he said, surprised. “They’d be ideal for carrying money.”

“Exactly. They’re also great for stocking up on provisions before long trips. The things inside won’t age or spoil, and monsters can’t smell food you store inside. You can carry any nonliving thing, and most types of plants and seeds. If a living thing is small enough to fit in the bag, it can stay inside, but it won’t be stored inside the special space. So it doubles as a pet carrier.”

“I-I see, good to know.”

I personally thought this was a great feature, but Hegram didn’t seem so impressed. Maybe people in this world didn’t use shoulder bags to carry small animals. What a shame.

Hegram and I talked for a while, and I showed him what sorts of drops he and his men could reasonably expect to obtain for their dungeon trip. I also introduced Hegram and his men to Hammer, who upgraded their gear. The new weapons and armor didn’t just look good, they were imbued with enchantments that repaired minor damage and helped keep them clean. As long as Hegram and the others didn’t do anything too crazy, they could last forever. I also set them up with some food and other supplies for their dungeon exploration.

Hegram’s group hadn’t been here in around thirty-five weeks, and the main tower’s dungeon had grown much bigger in that time, with more twists and turns. Which also meant there were more places to hide treasure. There were safe zones on every floor, so they could take breaks in peace when they needed to.

They spent three full days and nights exploring the dungeon, and I picked up a ton of points. While they were busy with that, I scouted the northern half of the forest and set up Way-Point Flowers.

As I explored, I discovered that the northern side of the Grimwood Mountains created a huge waterfall, which ran into a river. That river led to another beautiful waterfall that fed a huge lake. To give you an idea of how big this lake was, it was nearly as wide as the Grand Canyon. It was massive. It definitely had tourist destination potential, if you ignored the hordes of dangerous monsters that wanted to eat you. My Irregulars patrolled the southern half of the forest regularly, and the monster population there had declined sharply after I moved in. Even so, from the air, I could see some absolutely massive creatures.

Seriously, why is that spider bigger than a football stadium? I didn’t even notice it at first. It’s covered in green moss, and blends in with the landscape. It must be an ambush predator. Does it hang out near the lake to catch things that go for a drink? I’ll have to put the Way-Point Flower on the other side of the lake... No way, there are more of them over there! It’s like a whole extended family. A festival of massive spiders. I mean, the rest of them aren’t as huge as the first one, but they’re still bigger than a bus. What are you all eating to get that big? There’s seriously enough food here to feed all of you? Dang it, I wanted a Way-Point Flower here for the lake view, not the giant spider family reunion.

In the end, I put the flower on the southern side of the lake, near the waterfall, where there seemed to be fewer spiders. The eastern part of the northern half of the Grimwood had a lot more forest in it. Trees everywhere. Every once in a while, I saw a clearing with a group of large primates in it. For lack of a better term, they were basically Sasquatches. Easily three times my height, maybe four; huge feet covered in fur. They were all over the place. Here’s hoping they’re friendly—though I supposed if they were, humans would probably have moved in already. These guys all had huge fists that looked like they could do some serious damage. They might also have been able to climb, and that could be a pain once the wall was done.

I decided to put a tower on either side of the waterfall. That way, I could start growing them now, and connect them to the towers I had on the mountains later. Speaking of the mountain towers—from a strategic position, they were the best candidates for my mortal realm palace. If I was going to be a queen, I should definitely have one, right?

To that end, I spent a pretty decent chunk of what Hegram and his men earned on improving them until they looked like a proper mountain citadel. It was quite the imposing sight. Then I spent some time creating furnishings and decorations, until it looked even better than the royal palace in Doma. By the time I was finished, Hegram and his men were ready to depart.

“By the way, I noticed that the cliffs to the north are really steep,” I said to him before they left. “How did you all get up here?”

“Actually, there’s an old path in the east,” he explained. “It’s really taking the long way around, but there are stairs carved into the rock.”

“Ah, that would make it easier.”

“I don’t suppose you have a faster way, do you?” he asked, with pleading eyes.

Don’t look at me with those puppy dog eyes full of hope, I’m gonna laugh! “I will eventually, but it’s not ready yet. I mean, I can fly, but for you guys—yeah, I don’t have the short route set up yet.”

“I see. Wait, back up, you can fly?!” Hegram asked incredulously.

Oh yeah, I hadn’t shown them yet. I deployed my wings and hovered in place for a bit, then put them away. Just to show off. I mean demonstrate.

“About how long would this alternate route of yours take?” Hegram asked. “If the time is shorter than the time it would take to return the way we came, then we could explore your tower more while we wait.”

Music to my ears. “Well, it’s tough to say for certain, but at least two weeks.”

“It would take us more than twice that to go the long way. Please, complete the shortcut.”

“Can you point out on this map where the country you want me to go is located? If you can do that, I’ll secure a route that leads all the way to the edge of the forest.”

“I believe that shouldn’t be a problem.”

I showed Hegram my tablet, and after comparing it to his own map, he was able to point out roughly where our destination was. He and his men received more booze for their trouble, and I headed out to plant more towers while they explored the dungeon. On the eastern side of the waterfall, I created a line of towers stretching north until I reached the edge of the forest. After that I summoned Irregulars to all of them, and set them to resource gathering mode. Eventually I’d be able to connect them to the rest of my towers, where they could share all of the points Hegram and his men were earning for me.

Other than checking and upgrading the towers in the northern half of the Grimwood, I spent the next two weeks furnishing my new palace. I ended up moving my dungeon master room there as well. Well, I say room, but it was basically a condo at this point. It had a living room, a bedroom, a bath, a washroom, a dining room, a huge closet with space for all of my outfits, and a pair of pet beds for my Faewolves. Oh yeah, I absolutely kept those in my room. They were smart enough to leave my chambers when nature called, and having them there meant I could cuddle them whenever I wanted.

Seriously, the importance of big, cuddly, fluffy doggos can’t be overstated. Cuddle time became a nightly ritual. Every night when I arrived in my chambers, they’d greet me. I’d take care of any business, and then I’d basically just roll around with them. I mean, I’d kinda lay on them and let myself sink into their fur, then they’d shift around to get me to pet them. It was pure heavenly bliss. They didn’t have the normal dog smell; they actually carried a nice, floral scent, but I still always took my bath after cuddle time was over. They understood that once I was done with the bath, there would be no further cuddles that night.

Anyway, after a few days, I was able to connect the towers on the north side to each other, and once the two weeks passed, the tower on the east side of the waterfall was finally tall enough to connect to the south side of the forest. Once the towers were connected, everything progressed rapidly. Hegram and his party were able to generate a lot of points for me during those two weeks, and even with how much I used on furnishing my palace, I still had plenty left over to connect and expand the towers in the northern half of the forest. Once I put warp circles in place that could take people from the main tower to the north end of the forest in an instant, it was time to use my carriage again.

Or, well, it would have been, but my carriage was designed for only two occupants, so it wouldn’t fit five humans comfortably. So I created something else for this trip: a magic carpet. Remember when I said that other players threw a fit because Sprigians could fly freely, even though normally our flight speed was roughly the same as their walking speed? Magic carpets were one of the items the developers added to the game to appease the complainers. It allowed the user to fly at the same speed as a Sprigian, but they needed more space to take off and land. In this case, I decided to make a carpet big enough to hold my carriage, the Faewolves pulling it, Team Apple, and Hegram’s group. Which honestly ended up being a pretty big carpet—more like a deluxe flying rug. Of course, I also had to set it up to run on magic power, so I would have to remain on the carpet during the trip.

Once the carpet was ready, I informed Hegram that I was ready to leave, and he got his team ready. I led them to the transportation circle that would teleport us to the northern exit. There was even a sign above the door to the room it was in that read “northern exit,” so I wouldn’t mix it up with other warp points. Once we were all safely at the proper exit, I unrolled the carpet and had everyone get on. Once the carpet lifted into the air, it was completely flat and rigid, just like standing on the ground. There was a barrier around it to prevent small airborne objects from hitting us. It also helped reduce drag from the wind resistance. Oh, by the way, this carpet went a lot faster than a regular one. It was called “Fairy Queen’s Magic Carpet” and it moved at more than ten times the speed of a normal one.

“Uh, Your Majesty,” Hegram said as we levitated into the air, “forgive me if I sound rude, but if you had such a wondrous carpet, why didn’t we just use it from the beginning instead of waiting two weeks?”

“A fair question, Hegram. The answer may surprise you. First, I made this carpet just last night, so I didn’t have it two weeks ago. Second, if we had just flown there on the carpet, I wouldn’t have gotten you to spend two weeks in the dungeon. Finally, I was going to need to construct those towers anyway, so I decided to ask for your help while I could.”

“So you tricked us then,” he accused, frowning.

“Tricked is such a strong and ugly word,” I said with a grin. “I’d like to say I ‘resourcefully persuaded’ you. It wasn’t a bad deal for your group, was it? You all got plenty of booze, and your equipment looks so impressive now. It’s all gear with magical properties, you know. We’ll still make it there well before you would have if you had walked.”

His expression softened. “I suppose we’ll leave it at that.”

“I mean, this way, you won’t have to fight any—”

I was about to tell him there wouldn’t be any monster battles, but just then something slammed into the bottom of the carpet. Our sturdy magic item quickly righted itself, but not before I let out an embarrassing sound somewhere between a scream and a yelp. The thing that bumped into us surged forward. I was in total disbelief.

Atop the large winged creature’s head was a huge hornlike crest, and at the front of its face was a sharp, beak-like mouth. Overall, it looked like a brown pteranodon, except the wings were covered in black feathers. Other than that, the whole thing was scaly and reptilian.

“That’s a carrion drake,” Hegram said, handily identifying the creature as it prepared to make another aggressive move toward us. “You sometimes see them in the Grimwood around corpses. They’re one of the largest drake species, but they don’t often hunt for themselves. This one must have been separated from its flock.”

“Whatever it is, it scared me,” I complained.

Normally, I’d just deploy my wings and fly circles around it. I could probably have plucked every single one of its feathers before it knew what was happening. Unfortunately, in that moment, I was supplying magic power to the carpet. If I flew off on my own, the carpet would go limp and fall out of the sky. Of course, I was so fast with my wings deployed that I could probably have made it back before that happened, but still, I didn’t want to risk everyone’s lives like that. Instead, I threw a single-use spell shard at it.

If you’ve played role-playing video games before, you might know what sort of item I’m talking about. In a lot of those types of games, you can either get them as monster drops or in treasure chests; some even sell them in shops, but they’re usually too weak to bother buying. Each one basically grants a single use of an attack spell, then vanishes forever. They’re meant to be helpful when you’re facing enemies with exploitable elemental weaknesses, but in a lot of games, they’re not very powerful.

In Questonicia, the item acted like a spell, and used the player’s stats to determine how much damage it did. That was just fine for a magically inclined player like myself, but for warrior classes with low numbers in the relevant stats, they were pretty much useless. That was why I had ended up with so many of them. My brothers habitually gave me all of theirs, since I could actually get some practical use out of them. My second-eldest brother, Pedro, did have a magic build, but he had the actual versions of the spells the items replicated at his disposal, so he didn’t really need them either.

Anyway, this particular spell shard was imbued with a low-level lightning spell. I didn’t really think about it before I threw it, but my stats were way higher than back when I played the game. When I hurled the item with all my strength, it flew through the air faster than a speeding bullet, hit the creature’s chest, and passed right through, tearing a huge hole in its body. Then the spell activated. Electricity spewed out of the shard as it disintegrated, frying the monster in a spectacular display of overkill.

In other words, I could have probably killed it with a regular old rock and saved myself a magical item. At least it didn’t splatter everywhere.

I held up my hand and stored the monster’s corpse in my inventory before it could fall. This effectively sent it back to my mortal realm palace. After all, it could have useful materials for crafting. Then I looked over at everyone else on the carpet, to make sure they were okay. Their wide eyes were all fixed on me in stunned disbelief.

Yeah, I need to pick up some regular old rocks.

Even Team Apple was frozen in place with their mouths hanging open. The awkward silence continued for over a minute as I looked from one shocked face to the next.

What should I say? Should I say something? They’re all looking at me like I just got off of my Martian spaceship. What are they most shocked about? The effect of the item? How easily I defeated it? The way I stored the body afterward? My clothes?

To be clear, I was dressed for my upcoming audience with royalty. The gown I was wearing was, like most of my dresses, dazzlingly beautiful. It was a lavender color that matched my hair, but with white accents and a few pretty pink flower decorations. The lavender color that made up the main body of the dress sparkled in the sunlight. It was absolutely gorgeous, but had low combat values.

“W-Wow,” I laughed awkwardly. “Who would have thought it would be so weak.” Okay, that line was lame, but I had to say something. The silence was killing me.

“W-weak, she says,” Gunzar managed.

“Yeah, she said it,” Hegram agreed.

“Weak,” Degon said. At least, I was pretty sure it was Degon. If not, it was Shuzarl. I really should have had Hammer put different designs on their helmets or something.

Roban shook his head in disbelief. “It takes a platoon of archers just to get one of those to leave the livestock alone, but—”

“Weak,” Shuzarl said (and if he didn’t, it was Degon).

Hegram and his men were still trying to process what had just happened. Team Apple on the other hand—

“Ha! As expected of Her Majesty! Why would anyone be surprised?” Ringo said smugly, as if he were the one who’d killed it in one blow.

“You were just as shocked as the rest of us, Ringo,” Pomme pointed out.

“I was merely in awe of the way the sunlight reflects on Her Majesty’s dress,” Ringo argued. “There’s no way I could be stunned to silence by the defeat of such an insignificant creature.”

“Even though none of us has ever been able to kill one of those ‘insignificant creatures’ before?” Pomme said, giving Ringo major side-eye in the process.

“Th-That’s only because they keep flying away. They’re not just weak, but cowardly as well. Leave it to Her Majesty to put one of those cowards in their place like that. Not only that, but she looked so poised and beautiful while doing it.”

“Go easy on the butter, lover boy,” Pomme chided, “she’ll slip on it.”

“Hold your tongue, Pomme!” Ringo snapped angrily.

“Come on now, stop fighting,” Mela interjected, in a valiant attempt to be the voice of reason. “Everyone was just a little surprised, even if it was for different reasons.”

Unfortunately, Ringo and Pomme kept right on arguing with each other. They did lower the volume a little at least, though, so it was more like grumbling under their breath.

“Oh, hey! I think I see it! Is that the royal capital?” I asked. Yeah, I did see something, but I really just wanted to change the subject.

“Y-you’re right. I do believe that is indeed the royal capital,” Hegram managed.

“All right!” I raised my right fist into the air. “Time to make a grand entrance!”

Chapter Fifteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Discusses the Future

There was a long line at the southern gate to Gunzverg’s royal capital city, so I set the carpet down near the back. I had everyone get off of it, rolled it up, and put it away. Then I just climbed into my carriage and acted like I’d ridden it the whole way here. There were plenty of people staring, but my carriage protected me from their curious gazes, so I just sat inside and played with my tablet while I waited for the line to move.

Well, I say “played,” but I was really just fussing with my towers. Putting finishing touches on the route to my main tower, setting the positions of guards, and so on. I could do it all remotely. I could have tried having Hegram talk to the guards, to see if he could get us past the line, but I was already enough of a cheater. Besides, I didn’t really mind waiting.

I sat in my carriage, minding my own business, until we reached the gate. From what I could hear from inside my carriage, the guards knew Hegram, so they let us right in. At first I thought it was pretty irresponsible of them, but after further consideration, I would have let me in too. Why? I’m adorable, that’s why!

Anyway, my entourage headed into town, making a beeline for the royal palace. From what I could see on the map, the layout had been designed with warfare in mind, and the walls coiled like a snail shell. This created a spiral pattern, but there were gates that were left open except during emergencies. From what I could see, things looked pretty cramped here. Not that I minded; it wasn’t like I was moving in.

Eventually, we made it to the palace. Once again, the guards just let us walk right in. After we passed through the main gate, I put the carriage into my inventory, which sent the Faewolf duo hitched to it back to the tower. I looked up at the facade of the castle. It was imposing and gray, but otherwise unremarkable. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all, I guessed. I’m not saying there was never any variation, but castles designed for military purposes all shared certain design characteristics. A lot of castles you saw in fantasy stories had huge balconies, where the monarch could take in scenic views. Unfortunately, real castles usually lacked such features, since any place an archer could get a clear shot at you was generally frowned upon.

If you really thought about it, most castles had features based on archery. They were usually designed to allow archers to shoot arrows at enemies on the ground, while being hard for those same enemies to hit. Unfortunately, that usually meant that they didn’t end up looking much like the romantic fantasy castles in stories. My palace was much more of a fantasy castle, with huge balconies protected by magical barriers. Not only that, but I had put some seriously powerful creatures in there to act as guards. If anyone made trouble in there, they’d regret it.

Anyway, we entered Gunzverg’s royal palace, which definitely wasn’t as cool as mine. As expected of a fortress, the layout inside was relatively complex. With my tablet’s mapping functions, I had a bird’s-eye view of the passageways, but I could see how a normal person would quickly get lost without a guide to show them the way. This was my second visit to a royal palace other than my own, and I couldn’t help but compare the two. Doma’s castle had been much more comfortable—it was nicely furnished, and there were a lot of places for recreation. In contrast, Gunzverg’s palace was much more sparsely decorated.

Tapestries and paintings depicting historical battles adorned the walls. You could really tell this country’s history and culture were militaristic. Based on the decor, I was expecting the king to be a big, muscular guy with a might-makes-right sort of attitude, but as it turned out, that described the previous ruler much more than the current monarch, King Dalvas.

King Dalvas of Gunzverg was a young man, barely old enough to be called an adult. If I’d met him in my previous life, he wouldn’t even have been old enough to drink. Yet here he was, valiantly trying to run a country. He was good-looking, I supposed, if you were into the blond-haired, blue-eyed European type. He still retained a lot of his youthful features, but he was also mindful of his station, and its responsibilities. For his age, he demonstrated a lot of poise and grace. His clothes reflected his situation: nice, but not super extravagant. He wore a red mantle over a mostly gray suit. My first impression of him was quite favorable.

Then he had to go and ruin it by opening his big mouth.

“Ah, the rumored Lady Grimwood. What a pleasure it is to meet you. I am Dalvas Gunzverg, the ruler of this modest nation. I must say, the rumors of your beauty did not do you justice. You’re absolutely radiant. If you’d agree, I’d love to take you as my wife.”

“Huh?”

This was the first time someone had actually proposed to me. If you’ll recall, I explained earlier how Sprigians felt about marriage, and I intended to adopt that belief system. I wasn’t sure at first if he was joking or not, but when I looked around at the expectant faces in the room, I realized this proposal required a serious response. The way he’d said it could be played off as flattery if I wasn’t interested, which was probably the smartest diplomatic decision he’d ever made. I noticed Ringo reaching for his sword, but I cut him off with a swift motion.

I quickly explained how Sprigians handled romance, and politely declined the proposal. He just wasn’t my type. There were looks of disappointment on faces all over the room. I guess a lot of the retainers had really pushed for this political marriage. As for King Dalvas himself— Was that a sigh of relief?! If I wasn’t maintaining my royal dignity, I’d slug him! My opinion of him sank, but I still had business to attend to.

“Regarding the Grimwood, I understand you’d like to make an agreement with me similar to the one I have with Doma,” I said, careful to hide my annoyance as I changed the subject. “I have no problems with such an arrangement, but I’d also like to request that you arrange a meeting with the other leaders whose countries border the Grimwood as well. I plan to establish my own country there, and I don’t want to meet with each leader individually in their own nation if I can help it. I’d still like to obtain their permission, if only to be polite, but traveling to each country one at a time would take far too long. Is there any way we could set up a large-scale conference?”

“Ah, I see,” said King Dalvas. “Unfortunately, our country doesn’t have the best relations with our neighbors. My father saw to that. However, I shall send messengers to every nation we can, asking them each to send an envoy to meet with you, and to pass the message to their neighbors.”

“Very well. How much time should we allow for them to gather here?” I pressed.

“If we tried to gather all of the leaders in one place at the same time, it would likely take the better part of a year, but if I simply send open invitations, they could each send an envoy to meet with you directly. That way, they could all meet you according to their own schedules, without wasting your time. Would that be acceptable?”

King Dalvas was much more accustomed to dealing with foreign leaders who could destroy his kingdom than King Doma was. He did an excellent job of meeting my requests without agreeing to do much of anything. It really made me appreciate how much organization went into groups like the United Nations in my old world.

“I would appreciate it if you could arrange as much,” I said. “Now then, if you wouldn’t mind having the documents drawn up, I’d like to make this agreement official so I can begin work on the border.” That was just my little way of hinting that I didn’t want to be there anymore.

“It would be my pleasure,” King Dalvas agreed.

That was basically the whole meeting. I signed and sealed the documents, and then went straight to making towers. In addition to the ones along the border, I set up a line of towers leading to Gunzverg’s royal capital, then connected them together. This would allow for near instant travel between Gunzverg and Doma. With both countries about to expand their farming output, trade between the two nations was sure to become profitable. While I was there, I learned about Gunzverg’s currency, and it was pretty similar to Doma’s in value and denominations. Perhaps my people could act as money changers.

Once the towers in and around Gunzverg were set up, I didn’t really have much to do besides wait. I took the opportunity to visit King Doma, and inform him of the newly completed trade route. This decision had absolutely nothing to do with wanting to see Gin again, of course—I needed to give King Doma the new sword I’d made. Well, Hammer was the one who’d made the sword itself, but I took it to the Unseen Realm and added some effects to it. I didn’t go too crazy. After all, I didn’t want it to be misused if it ended up in the wrong hands.

I’d put a lot of thought into what sort of weapon it should be. First, I set it up so its abilities only worked within Doma. That way, its powers could never be used for conquest, since it would just become a really nice looking sword anywhere but at home. Next, I gave it an effect that gave the wielder immunities against poisons and diseases, and a neat little effect that absorbed health from anyone who lied to you. That helped fortify the king’s defenses against the top three causes of death for monarchs: poison, illness, and traitors. Finally, I added an effect that made the user more powerful every time they cut down the wicked, but made the sword powerless against the innocent. How did the sword know which was which? Don’t ask me, it’s magic. It was up to the sword to decide, I guess. For a while, I thought about giving the sword the ability to talk, so it could give advice, but I thought that might get a bit annoying. Plus, it could stir up mistrust. So I skipped it.

Anyway, I finished up the modifications to the sword, and brought it to King Doma. When I presented it to him, he asked a very natural question.

“What’s the sword’s name?”

I hadn’t actually thought of one, but I came up with one on the fly: “Justicia. It was created to be the sword of an honorable ruler who protects their people. The name means ‘justice’ in another language.” Spanish, to be exact. Was it a bit cliché? Sure, but it worked.

“I see.” King Doma smiled as he held the sword up. “A fine sword that won’t allow a repeat of my brother’s disgraceful behavior, or similar actions by others.”

“You know, if you really want to stop your brother from repeating something like that, you could just execute him,” I suggested. “That’s a surefire way to put an end to the problem.”

“Well, er, there are reasons—” King Doma seemed to have an excuse at the ready, but I cut him off.

“So you’re going to let the nobles who back him stall the execution until they get a chance to set him free?”

“H-How did you grasp the situation so easily?”

“Because it was obvious.” I sighed. “You love your brother, but he tried to take over the country by killing you. This isn’t the time to pander to your nobles. If anything, it’s a chance to round them up and get rid of them all at once for conspiring with him. Rip the rot out of your kingdom at the source, and make an example of them. If you keep letting them do as they please, they’re going to take over.” King Doma was a good guy, one who chose peace perhaps more often than he should have.

Nobody could say anything against my advice. I knew many of his advisors shared the same views. They just couldn’t voice their position for fear of being viewed as violent or extreme. I wasn’t fettered by any such constraints. I just spoke as I saw fit. Political correctness and diplomatic etiquette weren’t the solution here. Besides, as an injured party, I had a right to demand his execution. The fact I was only suggesting it was kindness, and King Doma understood that. He looked at me with a conflicted expression on his face.

It was at that very moment that the calm, peaceful, only somewhat awkward atmosphere in the throne room came to an abrupt end. Just as silence descended on the room, a door burst open with a loud bang that drew every eye in the room. A little girl, maybe five or six years old, wearing a pink dress and a silver tiara, entered the throne room through the door that had just slammed open. Her hair was very blonde, and her eyes were sky blue. She looked around the throne room as though she were lost, until her eyes met mine.

“It’s the little queen!” she shouted joyfully. “She really is the same size as me!”

“Somebody’s in trouble,” I muttered.

I didn’t know who this little girl was, but I knew there was probably someone who was supposed to be keeping an eye on her to prevent this exact scenario. The best that person could hope for was a scolding at this point. An incredulous look spread across King Savla Doma’s face; he clearly had no idea how or why this child was in the room.

Before anyone else moved, the little girl made a break for it—and by ‘it’ I mean me. She headed straight for me. I saw Ringo reach for his sword, but before he could even touch it, I made it clear he wasn’t to interfere.

“Do not try to stop that girl. Let Doma handle it.” I gave the instruction to everyone in Team Apple, but it seemed Ringo was the only one who needed it. Chaos ensued.

“Princess Sherin!”

“Where is her nanny?”

“How did she get all the way here?”

“Who’s responsible for this?”

“Someone stop her!”

“This is a disaster!”

“Princess!”

“Your Highness!”

“Sherin, come here this instant!”

That last shout was from King Doma. The rest of the advisors in the room simply moved their mouths before their bodies, but Princess Sherin was undeterred. She ignored even the king, who was presumably her father, and ran right up to me with a huge smile on her face.

“Wow! Your eyes are so pretty! They twinkle like stars! You’re so cute!” she proudly declared.

Now this was a person with refined taste. If I’d heard Lilac was nearby, I’d have disobeyed my parents to come see her too. This girl was a kindred spirit. A connoisseur of the adorable. Not only that, but she was pretty darn cute herself. Her blonde hair was styled into ringlets, and her plump cheeks were a bit red with exertion. The smile she wore was especially charming. I was actually quite thrilled to meet her. Unfortunately, to King Doma and his people, this was an unprecedented disaster.

With delicate and refined movements, I diffused the tension of the situation. “My, aren’t you an adorable princess. Pardon the late introduction, I am Lilac Grimwood, the so-called ‘little queen’ of the forest. It’s a genuine pleasure to meet you.”

Hearing the polite introduction stirred some sort of realization in the child, and she straightened her posture. “I-I’m Sherin Doma, f-first princess of Doma. P-Pleased to meet you.”

She made an awkward curtsy as she stumbled through her introduction. Were they trying to kill me with an overdose of cuteness? I wouldn’t put it past them. Princess Sherin was clearly blushing now, and her body nearly trembled, but she was the very picture of charm. Even though she was so young, she and I were very close to the same height, so I didn’t need to stoop to get on her eye level. In other words, I had a front row seat to the adorable display.

Ah, I want to dote on her. I want to give her plush toys and watch her squee over how cute they are. Then she’ll hug them close with a blush on her cheeks. I’m so happy just thinking about it. Is this what they call maternal instinct? This body has some pretty powerful urges, but I’m usually able to resist them...

In a swift motion, I pulled out my tablet. I searched through the menu for a moment, and found exactly what I wanted. It felt like anything I wanted—except a way to check in on my family—just showed up in the menu with an appropriate cost attached as soon as I thought of it. In this case, I was remotely creating an item in the Unseen Realm, imbuing it with effects, and transferring it to my inventory, but the tablet helped me visualize it. Once the item in question was in my inventory, I immediately pulled it out. I’d practiced imbuing items with effects in the Unseen Realm, so I tried to add a little bonus to this one. It seemed to have worked.

Princess Sherin’s eyes went wide as soon as she saw the thing in my arms. The item I produced was a teddy bear, inspired by the Sprigrizzly. It was wearing a helmet and armor and holding a sword, but the equipment was all soft and plush, just like the bear itself. It also had a little red cape, so it looked like a fantasy hero. It was nearly half my size, which made it perfect for hugging. Needless to say, that made it half Princess Sherin’s size as well. It was imbued with effects designed to protect the person holding it, but it was restricted to “cute girls” only. Like the sword, I supposed it was up to the bear if the girl holding it was cute or not. If anyone else tried to pick it up, they’d quickly regret it.

It had a barrier to protect the holder from attacks, and effects to prevent diseases and nullify poison. The best part was that in the event the person holding it was frightened, it would summon a “Sprigrizzly Hero” to defend them. This special monster could not only protect them from enemies, but reassure them during thunderstorms and the like. She’d never need to be frightened of anything ever again. When she grew up and had children of her own, she could pass it along to them. Actually, to be honest, this was a better gift than the sword.

Maybe I just wouldn’t mention everything it did.

“An armed bear?” Princess Sherin asked innocently.

“No way!” I protested. “Not like one of those nasty bear monsters! Look! He’s got a sword and a cape! He’s a hero! A hero bear!”

I had to correct that little misunderstanding quickly. No way would I ever make an armed bear plush, those things were scary, not cute at all. I suppose it was an understandable error, though. After all, this small child had likely never seen a real armed bear up close. She had no way of knowing what they really looked like. At best, she’d probably seen an illustration or two in a book. I graciously forgave the oversight, since I was so magnanimous.

“It’s so cute.” Princess Sherin was enthralled by the plush toy, just as planned. She looked pretty cute herself, staring at my little hero bear.

“As a gesture of goodwill and friendship, I’m giving this little hero to you. As long as you’re holding it, you’ll be protected from anything that might try to hurt you.”

I handed over the hero bear to Princess Sherin, who immediately hugged it tightly. “Thank you! It’s so soft. I love it!”

Then she ran right over to her father to show off her new toy. I decided to reveal a little bit of what it could do.

“King Doma, I couldn’t resist adding some effects to that bear that protect the person carrying it. To make sure those abilities aren’t abused, I’ve made it so that only ‘cute girls’ can hold it. Please make sure that the people who care for your daughter understand that they won’t be able to take it away from her. Also, it has an extra feature that triggers whenever the holder is frightened, so please warn them about that as well.”

“Er, thank you for your consideration.”

After that, I told King Doma about the situation in Gunzverg, and mentioned that they would like to forge an amicable trade relationship. With my newly constructed trade routes, Doma was no longer isolated from the rest of the continent. I also told King Doma about the invitations I’d made to the other northern countries bordering the Grimwood while I was in Gunzverg. If everything went well, I’d soon be meeting with diplomatic envoys from all of them. It was exciting, but also a bit scary.

While I was in Doma, I got a chance to say hi to Gin, but he seemed to have a lot on his mind. I tried to ask him about it, but he didn’t want to open up, so I let it go. I hoped the people there weren’t bullying him. He was acting as an ambassador, but the people of Doma weren’t very experienced in foreign relations. Hopefully nobody caused an international incident.

Speaking of diplomatic envoys, once I returned from Doma, it didn’t really take long for the first one from the northern countries to show up. There were a bunch of meetings over the next few weeks, and they all went pretty much the same way. The envoy would show up, dressed in fancy noble clothes that looked way worse than pretty much anything in my wardrobe. Then we would talk for a little bit before eventually agreeing that I would fence off the section of the Grimwood that bordered their country in exchange for their country recognizing Grimwood as its own nation, and relinquishing any claim on the forest that their country had. The northern nations were all pretty eager to start cultivating the land near the forest, so the terms always ended up pretty favorable to me. The monsters meant they couldn’t really use the land in the forest, or even anywhere near it, so they weren’t really losing anything by letting me have it.

Once the terms were agreed to, I would have them point out their country on my map, then I would explain my plans for where I would place towers. Many of them had to bring a copy of my plans back home for their ruler to look at before I could actually get started, but that was understandable. Eventually, I had most of my nation’s northern border walled off—but there was one country that responded very differently.

“Rather than cede our territory to you, we would prefer to hire you to destroy the Lord of the Lake.”

I was speaking with an envoy from a western nation called Stanrus, which was known for its military prowess. I’d heard they routinely sent their soldiers into the Grimwood for training. Honestly, I wanted to try to get them to switch to training soldiers in my towers instead, and unfortunately for them, I also wanted to finish walling off the forest, and their country was the only one that didn’t voluntarily give up the part of the Grimwood it’d claimed.

“I’m afraid there are three reasons I must refuse,” I replied. “First, I have no real need for money. It’s true that I want to establish Grimwood as a trade hub, but that’s because it benefits me to have humans around. Second, I’m only negotiating out of kindness. If I wanted to, I could just wall off the Grimwood without your nation’s permission, and there would be next to nothing you could do about it. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I have no idea what this ‘Lord of the Lake’ you mentioned is, so I can’t say for certain that I could destroy it. That said, based on the strength of the rest of the creatures here, I doubt it would pose much of a problem.”

So I did kinda threaten to just go ahead and annex the Grimwood, but it wasn’t out of malice. I just wanted the envoy to better understand my position. I could tell he wasn’t expecting to be refused so thoroughly, since he seemed to be struggling to argue any further. I was meeting the guy in my throne room, sitting on my ultra comfy throne. There was a Faewolf lying on either side of my throne, and Team Apple was standing guard as well. I think a lot of envoys found this setup intimidating, but that seemed to help with negotiations, so I didn’t change it.

At last, the envoy seemed to regain his composure. “Shall I take that as your official response, then?”

“Don’t be so hasty. You see, I really do want to remain on good terms with my neighbors. Understanding what the other party wants is important in these sorts of talks. I only mentioned that I could just do whatever I want, not that I would. My offer is the same as ever: I’ll use my towers to wall off the Grimwood, and set up patrols to keep monsters from escaping. This should allow your citizens to live and farm closer to the Grimwood, resulting in better crop yields. I would also be prepared to create an alternate training facility for your troops, since I’ve heard they like to challenge themselves in the Grimwood. I believe that to be the best resolution.”

“I see,” said the envoy. “I shall return home for now, but I expect a resolution will not come easily. Our people have long sought to conquer the forest, and that desire is unlikely to change due to your arrival.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

That was how my first meeting with an envoy from Stanrus went. To be honest, it wasn’t a great start. I really didn’t want to create an antagonistic relationship, but I wasn’t just going to let them do whatever they wanted either. I hoped the next envoy would bring better news. But I wasn’t holding my breath.

From Another Point of View Part 14: Princess Shildris of Stanrus

I had just returned from another successful expedition to the Grimwood. Overall, I was feeling pretty pleased with my performance on this trip. In battle, I felled three armed bears single-handedly, and my squad slew a gigant snake as well. All of them were useful for crafting armor, so we took the time to skin them and haul the materials back to town. Once we arrived, I headed straight for the throne room.

Father always loved to hear tales of my exploits. He was a true warrior, whose royal regalia included practical armor. Truly, I respected him more than any other man, which was why I was more than willing to abide by his declaration that he wouldn’t allow me to marry a man who couldn’t best him in combat. No way was I about to act all wifely for someone I respected less than my father.

When I entered the throne room, it looked as though father was in the middle of receiving a report from the guy we’d sent to the so-called “Queen of the Grimwood” to negotiate. The rest of the countries that bordered the Grimwood just gave up their territory like it was natural, but I’d been slaying monsters in that forest since I was twelve years old. I wasn’t about to just hand over our territory there without a fight.

“As it stands, she seems to have no intention of accepting our offer,” our envoy was saying. “If left to her own devices, she will likely wall off the Grimwood and dispatch the Lord of the Lake at her leisure.”

“Huh?!” I’d only heard the tail end of the report, but I couldn’t let that slide. “If anyone’s going to crush the Lord of the Lake, it’s gonna be me!” I insisted angrily. “Give the order, father, and I’ll tear the tongue out of its head.”

“Ah, Shildris, welcome home,” my father said. “You’ve come at a good time. What if we sent you to talk with this Grimwood girl, woman to woman? Maybe she’d be more receptive.”

Father was the same as ever: a mountain of a man with a bushy beard. His armor could hardly contain his bulging muscles, and his crown and scepter looked comically tiny next to him. He had a red mantle draped over him too, but that was as regal and kingly as he got—every once in a while, political envoys from other countries got confused and thought barbarians must have conquered the kingdom just before their visit. Father seemed to think I could succeed where this wormy little diplomat had failed.

“We don’t need some little girl’s help,” I argued. “I can kill the Lord of the Lake all by myself.”

“Shildris, I once took a full battalion of our best men and I couldn’t even do more than scratch the Lord. The problem is its troublesome tactics. It offers little opportunity to attack as it whittles down the opposing forces. That is why I’ve forbidden you from attempting it. If you were to be eaten by that monster, I’d ruin the entire kingdom trying to avenge you. If we can get this little queen to kill it for us, then so be it—even better if she dies in the attempt. I’ve heard she has strange powers, so if she can kill the Lord, then we can take over the rest of the Grimwood without issue. So do me a favor and go talk with her.”

I heaved a dramatic sigh, hanging my head to show my displeasure. “Fine, I’ll go talk to her. But don’t get upset if I lop her stupid head off if she gets me angry. You know I have a short temper.”

“There shouldn’t be any problem as long as you actually kill her,” said father, “but I hear she has some strong soldiers, so be careful.”

“If you heard that from someone outside of Stanrus, it’s hardly reliable,” I scoffed. “Those weaklings think anyone who can swing a sword is strong.”

“Well, you’re right about that, but it doesn’t hurt to be just a little cautious.”

I waved dismissively at him as I left to prepare for my trip. Even though I’d just gotten back, I prepared to leave again right away. In that moment, I was already upset at this little Grimwood girl. My arrogant brain thought I could just twist her little arm behind her back and she’d do as we wished. Yeah, that was my kind of diplomacy. I never could have imagined what was waiting there for me.

I rode in a carriage for most of the trip, which I hated. I would much rather have been on horseback, since it was easier to respond to threats that way. Unfortunately, it was important to maintain the kingdom’s image during a diplomatic trip, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. We crossed into the neighboring nation to the east, then headed south to the border with the Grimwood. When we arrived, I heard there was a route that led straight to the queen’s castle. Though I expected the entire trip to take weeks, the envoy we sent had made a round trip in just a few days. My men spoke with the guards at the gate, and we passed right through. The next thing I knew, we were there. Unable to believe it, I got out of the carriage, and was completely stunned.

We were in a large space, but still indoors. Despite being inside, it was pretty bright. I noticed there were strange glowing fixtures on the ceiling illuminating the room. Calling it a “room” wasn’t exactly right, though. It was more like a castle courtyard, but with a roof over it. There was a stable, where my carriage and the rest of our horses were taken, as well as various other facilities. There were places that sold food lined up like market stalls, as well as places to procure other supplies like rope, cloaks, armor, lanterns, bags—really anything one might want for an expedition.

“What is this place?” I murmured. I thought it was barely audible, but someone answered anyway.

“The courtyard of the Grimwood royal palace. It’s an ideal place to prepare for an expedition, isn’t it?”

Startled, I looked down at the source of the reply. He was a short fellow with green skin and hair, dressed in some seriously impressive armor. Red paint marked his face, and he carried a sword that was nearly as long as he was tall. I realized he was right next to me, but I hadn’t noticed him until he spoke. The rest of the men recoiled a bit upon noticing we’d been infiltrated so easily. Predictably, I was the first to recover.

“Oh, yeah, I could see how this would be a great place to stock up,” I managed.

Everywhere I looked, there were more of these little green people. Actually, most of them were more bluish. The vendors in the stalls, the hands at the stables—they were everywhere. I’d heard they looked like goblins, but the people who said that must not have been very familiar with them. After all, no way were goblins this cute. I’d be keeping them as pets if they were. The little guys here were absolutely adorable.

“You guys here to see Her Majesty?” the impressive green fellow asked.

“R-right, yes, the queen.” I was still flustered enough to fumble my words a bit. “We’re from Stanrus. Could you send word that we’d like to see her? I’d like to discuss the border between our nations.”

“She already knows you’re here. I’m here to take you to her.”

That reply unnerved me to no end. How did she already know we were here? Was it just a figure of speech? Did the guards at the gate we passed through send word somehow? I started to take my father’s advice a little more seriously. No sense leaving myself defenseless.

The little green guy led us inside, and just moments later we were in front of the throne room. Who designs a castle this way? You can’t just have a straight path that leads right into the throne room. What if you get invaded? As those senseless thoughts ran through my head, the door opened.

I was completely unprepared.

Why didn’t anyone tell me she was this cute?

I froze the instant I saw her. She was spectacularly adorable. Flawless brown skin, shimmering lavender hair styled into twin braids, a luxurious sky-blue dress—even the throne itself was charming. It was as if her sole thought in designing the throne room had been how cute she could make it. There were two huge fluffy green dogs, one on either side of her, but rather than intimidating, they were inviting. They lay there languidly, just begging to be caressed. Their faces were cute too, not the type you normally saw on huge guard dogs.

I want one. I want two, even. They’re so adorable. Why didn’t anyone warn me? I wanna run over there and bury my face in their fur. I bet she does that every night before bed! It’s not fair!

“Princess Shildris,” one of my men whispered, snapping me back to reality.

“Ahem.” I cleared my throat. “Forgive the late introduction, I am Princess Shildris Stanrus, and I’ve come as a diplomatic envoy from our country.” I managed to blurt out the standard formal greeting, but I had no idea what to say next.

Why did father send me on this trip again?

“Greetings. I’m Lilac Grimwood, the ruler of this forest, though I suppose you’re already aware of that. Would you like to have our meeting at a table where we can sit and talk?”

Is that her voice? It’s so cute! My ears are so happy right now.

“Y-yes! Table good!”

Why was I so nervous? I’m going to make a fool of myself in front of this sweet little thing. As Queen Grimwood slid off of her throne, her dress revealed her bare feet for a moment. Oh my gosh! Are those her feet? They’re so cute and tiny.

She led the way to an adjacent room, and then down a hall to a staircase. Once we reached the top of the stairs, we were outside. This place must have been the roof of the courtyard area we’d seen earlier. It was laid out like an open air café, with numerous tables and chairs. There were a few adorable bluish attendants in maid uniforms waiting on us, and there were huge planters along the walls filled with gorgeous flowers. I found myself wondering if it was too late to tear down Stanrus castle and have Queen Grimwood build us one like this...

A few moments later, she and I were seated across from one another at a table. Our guards and attendants waited behind us.

“Would you like something to eat?” she offered. “I’m partial to the sweets here myself.”

“Uh, sure.”

I didn’t know what else to say. Normally, if you were negotiating, the first thing was to offer wine or booze. These sorts of talks always went more smoothly with liquor involved. Instead, I had a huge strawberry covered in something called “chocolate” and a drink known as “coffee.” I figured they must have been local delicacies. One of my attendants sampled them, to make sure they weren’t poisoned.

“Mmm,” she moaned happily. “So good.” Poison testers normally refrained from commenting on the food, but it seemed this girl simply couldn’t help herself. Once I was satisfied there was no poison in the food or drink, I partook myself, and I couldn’t help but wholeheartedly agree.

“The strawberry is way sweeter than what I’m used to, and bigger too,” I said in surprise. “This ‘chocolate’ stuff is kinda bitter, but it works well against the sweetness of the strawberry. Then there’s this ‘coffee’ stuff that pairs well with both of them. It’s awesome.”

One of the attendants in maid dresses leaned in. “We have some nondairy creamer, or sugar for the coffee if it’s too bitter for you.”

“Nah, as long as I have this strawberry to go with it, the bitterness is no problem.”

Wait, is this some kind of trap? I’m really enjoying myself.

By the way, did I mention the view? It was gorgeous. Somehow, we were high up in the Grimwood mountains, but despite that, it was quite warm. From here you could really appreciate just how vast the Grimwood region was, and I was sure I couldn’t even see half of it.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? From up here, you can hardly tell how dangerous it is.”

Ah, she’d noticed me taking in the view.

“It’s special to me,” I admitted. “I’ve been coming to the Grimwood to kill monsters since I was twelve years old. The thought of someone coming along out of nowhere and taking that away kinda gets to me.”

“Would you agree to it if you could still hunt monsters here?” the queen asked.

I blinked. “Huh?”

“None of the other countries asked about hunting monsters,” she went on. “They were mostly interested in having a safe route through the forest. If you’re interested, I could make sure you could still hunt monsters, even after it’s walled off. That way regular people would still be protected, while those who want to can still brave the forest. I could even arrange a magic bag to hold your spoils, though you’d have to earn it. I’m sure we can come to an agreement we can both be happy with if we talk it out.”

And that’s what we did. We talked. The more we talked, the more enthralled I became. I don’t know how the first guy we sent managed to resist her. If I were a man, I’d have been down on one knee proposing to her. She was persuasive, and her arguments were well reasoned. I was seriously considering trying to convince my father to give her what she wanted. There was just one thing holding me back.

I wonder if I can get her to let me have one of those dogs. I mean, I know what I’d say if someone asked me, but maybe she could get me on a waiting list for a pup.

“Er, not to change the subject, but where did you get those magnificent animals you had in the throne room? I’m quite interested in getting one for myself.” Hopefully that was tactful enough.

“The Faewolves? They’re cute, aren’t they? Even so, they’re skilled in battle—I can totally see why you want one. Normally they can’t leave the towers, but I think I could put together an item that would allow you to keep one with you. What do you think, shall I make it a gift to celebrate our agreement?” she offered.

“I’ll try to convince my father right away,” I agreed quickly. “Please put the item together for me.”

I couldn’t resist. It was impossible. As soon as the dog became a part of the deal, I caved. Before I knew it, I’d left Grimwood behind and arrived back in Stanrus. I daydreamed about what my new dog would be like the whole way home. My father was shocked to hear the first thing I said when I walked into the throne room.

“We should let her have it,” I announced bluntly.

“What brought that on?” He was understandably confused by my complete reversal. “I thought you of all people would want to keep trying to conquer it for ourselves.”

“Suppose we do conquer it, what then?” I challenged. “We cut all the trees down?”

“Well, I—”

“If we’re just interested in farmland, her proposal gives us that. If we don’t want to cut the trees down, she’s willing to let us keep hunting monsters. Plus she’s really cute and sweet. Nobody told me how adorable she was. Whoever said her warriors were strong knew what they were talking about, too. One of her guys got right in the middle of our group before we had any idea he was there. If he had wanted to, he could have killed me before anyone else knew what was going on. I’d really rather not fight them.”

I looked up at my father to see a look of total shock on his face. “I-I’m so proud of you. You assessed a threat properly, and didn’t take any unnecessary risks. You returned home safe and sound. I’m so glad. As for the agreement—”

He looks like he’s about to cry! Quick, say something.

“Please, Daddy?”

“D-Daddy?” His expression immediately changed from pride to suspicion. “You only call me ‘Daddy’ when you really want something! What’s going on here, Shildris?”

“Well, she had these dogs there,” I admitted. “Big as a horse, but cute as a button. Anyway, she said she could get me a magic item that’d let me keep one.”

“That girl sure zeroed in on your weakness. A dangerous opponent to be sure,” father observed, understanding clear on his face.

“So?” I pressed.

“All right, we’ll hand over the forest to her. Let’s see the documents.”

Chapter Sixteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master and the Lord of the Lake

Stanrus agreed to cede their portion of the Grimwood to me, and I was finally able to finish building a wall around the whole thing. My Faegoblin Irregulars patrolled both the area around the wall and the top of it. The ones stationed at the top were all specialized in archery. They were mainly there to deal with flying monsters and the occasional gigant snake that would try to slip past.

Just so you know, the Irregulars still patrolled most of the Grimwood interior as well, but they left the areas near Stanrus alone for the most part. After all, if they killed all of the monsters, the people from Stanrus wouldn’t be able to do any training in the forest. So the wall wasn’t the end of my relationship with Stanrus, just a single part of it. Their princess came by to let me know the agreement was finalized, and to collect the gift I’d promised her.

Was it a bribe? I guessed you could call it that. I preferred to use the term ‘skillful negotiation’ to describe such things. Plus, if she had asked for one after the agreement had been made, I likely would have given her the bracelet I made as a gift. That’s right, the magic item I created for her was a black bracelet with rounded metal studs. I was originally going to go with spikes, like the bracelets worn by a popular Chinese character from a certain fighting game franchise, but I opted for something more practical. This way, she could even wear the bracelet to bed, and it wouldn’t get in the way while she was writing. It would also make petting her new friend easier. Those huge spikes might have looked cool, but they’d just have been in the way outside of combat.

Speaking of looks, Princess Shildris was quite a beauty, but she definitely wasn’t the dainty type. She had long blonde hair, but she didn’t really do a lot to take care of it. She was tall and muscular, and wore the same type of mostly leather armor her guards did. She was more comfortable in battle armor than she was in dresses. Given a choice between the two to wear to a formal gathering, she’d pick the armor every single time. She particularly loved wearing armor made from parts of monsters she’d killed herself. It was a major point of pride for her.

Despite her tough exterior, she had a major soft spot for cuties. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I happened to be an avid admirer of the adorable myself. If anything, it was one of her better traits, as far as I was concerned. She had a look of supreme bliss on her face as I helped her put the bracelet on and explained how it worked. Once I explained how to use it, she wasted little time trying it out.

“Come forth!”

I’d set the incantation to something easy to remember, but to make sure nobody with ill intentions abused it, there were some safeguards in place. First, only Shildris and her descendants could use it. Second, if the person using it was cruel or abusive toward the contracted creature, it would power up by several levels and devour them. Finally, at the end of the bloodline, when Shildris and all of her descendants were gone, the bracelet would return to my inventory automatically. That way I wouldn’t have to worry about it floating around where evil people could experiment with it.

In response to Shildris’s call, the glyph engraved on the bracelet glowed with blue light, and a larger version of the same symbol appeared on the floor at her feet. Moments later, the summoned Sprigarou familiar appeared. This was a brand-new, completely random summon, so even I didn’t know what kind would appear.

“I-It’s blue!” Shildris said in surprise as the Sprigarou appeared.

“They come in a variety of colors,” I explained. “Both of mine just happened to come out green, since it’s the most common. Blue is the second most common. They also come in pink, red, lavender, gold, and silver. Gold is the rarest, followed by silver and red, then pink and lavender.”

“Will I get a different color every time?”

“Huh? Oh, no. Now that you’ve summoned one, that same creature will appear every time. It’d be a real pain to have to start over from scratch every time.”

“It’s so cute.” Shildris was already petting her fluffy doggy as she spoke. “I didn’t expect it to be so small. After all, yours are so big.”

“Yeah, yours is brand new, just a puppy! It’ll get bigger as it grows stronger. Just bring it with you into battle, and it should get stronger all on its own. Eventually, it’ll get just as big as mine. Once it becomes a Faewolf like them, you could probably even ride around on its back.”

“That sounds wonderful. What does it eat?” Shildris asked as her little blue pupper licked her face.

“Ah, I almost forgot, they have a very specialized diet. Sprigians like us only eat fruit, but even among our kind, Sprigarous are especially picky. They won’t touch just any fruit—they prefer the flesh of the savor fruit, which we grow on the roof of the main tower. You don’t need to worry about feeding it, though. The summon is set to end when it gets hungry, and when it returns to the Unseen Realm, it can find food there. I made sure it’ll be provided for.”

“N-no way! Sell me some of the fruit it likes. I’ll feed it myself,” she insisted with a hint of blush on her face.

Ah, I can’t say no when she looks that cute asking for it. “Very well, I’ll arrange it.”

I pulled out my tablet and used it to send orders to Maple and Bistro, asking them to prepare the fruit we needed. I knew I could count on them to follow my instructions. As we waited for the fruit to arrive, Shildris changed the subject.

“Hey, what do you plan on doing about the Lord of the Lake? Without him around, you’d be able to use the lake for fishing and stuff, right?”

Oh yeah, I kinda agreed to attempt to do something about the Lord of the Lake as part of the pact with Stanrus.

“Since our kind don’t really eat anything that doesn’t grow on trees, we don’t fish. However, the lake is quite scenic. Perhaps I could make a hotel there, and charge people to rent rooms for vacations,” I mused aloud.

“Hotel?” From her reaction, I guessed that hotels weren’t really a thing in this world—or if they were, perhaps they went by a different name. They definitely had places like inns though.

“It’s similar to an inn, but the accommodations are much more lavish. In this case, it’d be more of a resort. Maybe I could even add a casino. That’d be a great way to really rake in the cash. Oh, we could sell swimsuits, and pool toys—maybe fishing gear too. Hmm, for the gear, maybe we could do rentals too...”

I was still thinking aloud, but a lot of it went over her head, so Shildris just smiled and nodded along.

“By the way, is the Lord of the Lake that giant spider monster?” I asked.

“Giant spider?”

From the confused look on her face, I guess the Lord of the Lake is something completely different. Wait, is she not aware of the huge horde of massive spiders?

“Yeah, there were a whole bunch of them living by the big lake,” I said.

“What?! The Lord lives in the lake. It pops its head out when it wants to attack. Whenever we deal any damage, it retreats beneath the surface. That’s why we haven’t been able to kill it yet. I’ve never seen a huge spider monster near the lake, though. Don’t those normally hang out in the southern part of the forest where the altitude is higher?”

I waved a hand. “Oh, I’m not talking about those. The ones near the lake are a different species. They’re not all black and obvious like the southern variety that hunts with webs. The spiders by the lake are a grayish color, and they have moss growing on them. They probably look like rocks from the ground. They seem like they’d be ambush hunters.”

“Huh?” It seemed like Shildris really had no idea what I was talking about.

Around that moment, Bistro showed up with the requested fruit. He had prepared it three ways: cubed raw pieces, cooked slices, and dried strips. Bistro did most of his cooking with magic, so the preparation time for such simple dishes was really short. The cutting took more time than the rest of it, and he had other chefs to help with that. The dried pieces were stored in a glass jar, while the cooked pieces and raw cubes were each stored in an earthenware jar with a cork stopper. The three containers were arranged neatly in a woven basket.

“I’ve prepared the items you asked for, Your Majesty,” Bistro said.

Oh no! He came to deliver them in person. Keep it together, Lilac. Keep it together. Don’t drool. You got this. “Good work. Please give those to Princess Shildris, we’ll settle payment later,” I managed as I fought desperately to avoid trembling in front of my guest.

“As you wish.” Bistro walked over to Shildris, and handed her the basket. She accepted it with a dreamy expression on her face.

After he bowed and took his leave, Shildris couldn’t contain herself any longer. “Who was that?! He’s super cute!” she blurted out.

“That’s Bistro, my head chef,” I said, my cheeks feeling hot as I mentioned his name.

“I want your life,” Shildris sighed.

“Hey, phrasing.”

“I didn’t mean I want you dead, but just look at everything you surround yourself with. Who wouldn’t be jealous?”

I giggled. “I won’t deny I have impeccable taste, so I’ll take that as a compliment. You have good taste as well, for realizing what a catch Bistro is.”

“So, have you done anything with him?” she asked. Wait, is she shifting into girl talk mode?

“Definitely not. I know very well how attractive he is, and the fact that he’s a talented cook makes him a threat to even the most stalwart maiden’s heart.”

“So why not, then?” Shildris prodded. Yup, she was totally in girl talk mode. I actually wasn’t sure I’d ever really done the whole girl talk thing, so this was pretty cool.

“He’s my subordinate,” I said. “If I expressed my desires, he’d feel obligated to respond, even if he didn’t feel the same way. It would cause others to become jealous of him as well. It could lead to all kinds of problems.”

“Wow, you really put a lot of thought into this stuff. If I had a man like that around, I’d grab him without hesitation,” said Shildris, making a movement like she was snatching something up.

Rather than me putting a lot of thought into it, I feel like you don’t think enough about these things, my dear Shildris...

“I feel like that would be a problem of its own,” I sighed.

A few days later, the king of Stanrus himself paid me a sudden visit. My first impression? He was a great big burly sort of man who looked more like a barbarian than a king. Maybe more like a barbarian king? The reason for his visit was simple, but surprising.

“P-please make one for me too,” he managed, a hint of blush coloring his cheeks.

“Huh?”

It turned out that big burly warrior king had a major soft spot for cute doggies, just like his daughter. When he saw what his daughter brought home, he immediately wanted one for himself. He tried to get Shildris to intercede on his behalf, but she got mad with him and told him to come ask me himself. I could see where she was coming from. If she’d said something like “Hey, can you make one for my dad?” then I might have suspected she was just trying to get another one for herself.

So I ended up agreeing to make a magic item for King Stanrus as well. I honestly couldn’t refuse him when he looked so pathetic. I mean, he was practically groveling. Come on, have some respect for yourself, you’re a king!

Without any retainers around to stop him, though, he wound up shamelessly begging me for one. I never would have guessed Shildris got her love of cute things from her dad. I did ask him to explore the dungeon in exchange, so it wasn’t completely one-sided. As I prepared the item for him, I thought about what color he might end up with. Silver would look cool, or maybe red. Gold would be awesome, but it was the rarest color, so I probably shouldn’t hope for that.

Instead of a bracelet, I ended up making a dagger for the king. The sheath had a really intricate floral design, gold against a dark brown background. He needed to draw the blade to summon the familiar, but once it was summoned, he could return the dagger to the sheath. It had similar restrictions to the item I gave Shildris, so I wasn’t worried about it being misused. I also ordered Bistro prepare more food in advance, and gave the king a similar basket with the dagger inside. Once I explained how everything worked, the king wasted no time trying it out.

“Come forth!” he shouted as he drew the dagger. “Huh?”

“It’s so cute!” I squealed. I couldn’t resist. The summoning went just fine, but I think I was more excited about the result than the king was.

After all, he got the pink one.

“Can I do it over?” he asked, looking more than a little disappointed.

“No way. I can’t control which color you’ll get, and it’s not fair to treat living things that way. If you don’t like it, I’ll take it back. You can just give the food to Shildris.”

If I wasn’t firm there, things could have gotten out of hand.

“I-I didn’t say I don’t like it,” he mumbled. “Th-Thank you for the generous gift.”

Honestly, I think he was secretly quite pleased, but he was probably worried about his image. I mean, this wasn’t the type of pink you could easily confuse with red—this dog was a floral, pastel pink color. The kind of pink a lot of teenage girls liked to fill their rooms with. He could look as rough and manly as he wanted, but with that at his side, I could see people questioning his masculinity. From my perspective, though, if he kept it with him during diplomatic trips or public appearances, it would probably raise his approval rating with women. Girls loved a guy who didn’t let what color their magic dog was bother them.

I sincerely hoped he wouldn’t try to get Shildris to trade pets with him, but it was out of my hands.

About a week later, Shildris and I were at the edge of the great Grimwood Lake, taking in the view. Okay, I was admiring the view, Shildris was looking around for other reasons.

“Are you sure you saw giant spiders here?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, there’s one right over there.” I pointed right at the nearest spider, which was almost right behind her, but Shildris didn’t believe me.

“That’s just a bunch of big rocks.”

“I’m sure it looks that way, but that’s camouflage. That one’s not even half as big as the biggest one I saw.”

“Oh, come on, quit foolin’ around. Look, there’s the Lake Lord.”

It was my turn to not believe the person pointing something out to me. I gazed over where Shildris was pointing. “Huh? It looks like an island.”

“This lake has no islands. That’s the top of the Lord’s head.”

If that was true, the Lord was totally enormous. Definitely just as huge as the biggest spider, maybe even larger. Speaking of the spider, I was seriously wondering why the one near Shildris hadn’t moved or attacked. If it was really an ambush predator, wouldn’t Shildris have been a perfect target? She honestly had no idea it was there, and it was almost right behind her. I knew for a fact it was still alive, because it showed up as a living entity on my tablet’s map. For a moment, I wondered if it would show up as a rock formation if it were dead.

As I thought about it, the Lord moved closer. As it drew closer, I could tell where its eyes were. As part of my agreement with Stanrus, I’d agreed to rid the forest of the Lake Lord, or at least give it my best shot, to make it easier for them to send hunting parties deep into the woods. Shildris had insisted on coming along, and it looked like we wouldn’t have to wait very long to fight with it.

“It’s coming,” Shildris warned me.

As the Lake Lord drew closer, I readied a regular old, ordinary rock. Last time I’d fought a monster, I’d accidentally used too much strength when I threw a spell shard at it, and I’d ripped a huge hole in its body. The item had been loaded with a spell that discharged on contact, but the thing had already been fatally wounded by the time the spell went off. It was massive overkill. So since then I’d collected a bunch of small rocks for throwing at enemies. Why waste the good stuff on low-level trash mobs?

In this case, I should have considered the terrain, and the shape of my enemy.

I threw the rock I was holding at the Lord of the Lake, and one of its eyes immediately became a gory mess. The rock flew so fast, I could barely follow it. To Shildris, it must have looked like I used a magical “eye explosion” spell. An inhuman cry of agony erupted from beneath the surface of the lake, sending a huge burst of bubbles to the surface. Just beyond the churning water, the top of the Lord’s head sank deeper into the lake.

“You got him!” Shildris cried. “Hey, he’s getting away!”

Yeah, I can see that.

In hindsight, I really should have gone with a spell shard for this. I’d even been told in advance that it would run away if I hurt it without killing it. Still, I doubted that eye would ever be the same again. From what Shildris had told me, the Lord of the Lake was an ambush predator that dragged those who got too close into the water before eating them. At first I’d thought it sounded like a giant crocodile, but as she’d continued her description, it had sounded more frog-like. Apparently it had a long tongue, so even if you weren’t very close to the shore, it could still get you. Maybe that’s why I didn’t care about “playing fair” against it.

“No use crying about it now,” I sighed.

“Aw, now it’ll be even harder to kill it.”

“Oh?”

“It’ll be more cautious of you now,” Shildris explained. “Anytime someone hurts it, it avoids that person deliberately. That’s one of the reasons it’s been around so long. My father once gave it a nasty scar on its belly when he was younger, but every time he came back to try and finish it off, it wouldn’t go anywhere near him.”

Yeah, I really should’ve used a spell shard. Even a weak one might have finished it off with my stats. “So if we want to kill it, we’ll have to find a way to lure it out.”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a pain,” Shildris sighed.

“Let’s look around.”

That’s exactly what we did. We walked around the shore of the lake, which, as you may recall, was absolutely gigantic. We walked for hours, keeping an eye out for signs of the Lake Lord. As you might imagine, we didn’t see it at all, but we did run into a few other monsters, which Shildris happily slaughtered. She was eager to get experience for her new familiar, so I let her handle everything. We even saw some arch-goblins.

“Are those goblins?” I asked as Shildris sliced them to gory bits.

“No, arch-goblins. Regular goblins are too weak to survive in this forest, but occasionally a group of arch-goblins will travel here from another forest. They take on enemies in the Grimwood in the hopes of eventually becoming a goblin king, or another upper-class monster. This group had five, which is about average. Smaller groups don’t survive long here.”

The group of arch-goblins in question were dead before she even started explaining. Shildris made short work of them, even though she was outnumbered. Unfortunately for them, the difference in strength was just too great. Her familiar mostly just supported her, biting at her enemies’ ankles to distract them. They made a great team.

As Shildris searched the bodies for spoils, I noticed the biggest spider was nearby. It was easy to tell because none of the others were more than half that size. I walked closer to it, to see if it would try to ambush me. Of course, it wouldn’t really be an ambush if I was expecting it, so I guess I was just baiting it into attacking me.

Regardless of my expectations, I really couldn’t have predicted what happened next. As I got close, the nearly mountain-sized spider started trembling.

“M-Mercy! Please! I wish for no quarrel!” it begged in a booming feminine voice.

It spoke to me in the ancient language I’d learned from Redimir. Starting a conversation was the last thing I thought it would do. Good thing I didn’t shoot first and ask questions later like I had with the Lord. It even almost sounded cute.

“Peace upon you, then,” I said. “Am I indeed speaking with the huge spiderlike creature, or are you perhaps something else hidden nearby?”

“Y-You’re absolutely right, I’m the mountain spider in front of you. I mean no harm to you or yours. My kind only eat the fish in yonder lake. We are the mortal enemies of the beast you wounded earlier. To think you crushed his eye with nothing but a simple rock. I’ve never seen such might. I tremble in awe of your power.”

Yup, it was trembling all right. With how big it was, I supposed I was lucky it didn’t soil itself.

“You say you eat fish. Does that mean you swim, or do you obtain them another way?” The beginnings of a plan were taking shape in my mind, and I was really interested in what sort of support these creatures might be able to provide.

“We do not swim, but we produce a unique type of silk that we use to catch them,” the spider replied. “We weave a large net from threads made from our silk, and cast it into the water. When it fills with fish, we haul it to the surface. Our bodies are built to stay hidden as we enjoy our meals.”

If the Lord of the Lake was steering clear of me, maybe we could trap it and force it to the surface. Couldn’t hurt to ask.

“Hey, do you think you could catch the Lake Lord with one of your nets?” I asked.

“Even if I could, he’s far too powerful for me to reel in,” said the spider. “I’d be forced to let go in order to avoid being dragged under.”

“What if you had help?”

“You mean, if others pulled the net along with me?”

“Yes. Would your net be strong enough to catch the Lord if you had enough power to pull it in?”

“If he were pulled in quickly enough, then yes. If given time, I’m certain he could thrash his way free.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” I decided. “You create the strongest net you can, one that can hold the Lake Lord long enough for me and my people to help haul him up. Once we’ve got him on land, I’ll take him out before he can retreat again.”

“Very well,” the spider said. “I’ll begin at once.”

I looked over at Shildris—since she didn’t know the language the spider and I were speaking, I needed to fill her in. When I turned my head, though, I noticed she was trembling too.

“L-Lilac! I-I-I-It’s, it really is a huge spider!”

“I told you—”

“Please forgive me for doubting you!” Shildris cried with a deep bow.

After that, I was able to explain the situation. Shildris became a lot braver when she realized the spider was more afraid of me than she was of it.

“So,” I proclaimed proudly, “once the net gets done, we’re going fishing.”

From Another Point of View Part 15: Princess Sherin

I suppose I was only in my sixth year or so at the time. It happened while I was exploring the castle after another daring escape from the nursery. In my arms was my dearest possession, an adorable stuffed bear I’d received from the queen of the forest. This soft toy was wearing a heroic suit of armor, complete with a red cape. The armor was merely for decoration, though. Just like the sword it was holding, the armor was just as soft and cuddly as the bear itself. The forest queen called it a “Hero Bear,” so I did too. Actually, I usually just called it “Hero” for short. I was quite fond of referring to it as “my Hero” in conversation, so within a few days of my receiving it, all of my attendants knew what I meant when I said those words.

Anyway, this wasn’t my first adventure in the castle. In fact, I received my Hero during one such adventure. On that occasion, I wanted to see the rumored fairy queen of the forest, who was supposedly very cute. The rumors were absolutely correct: She was quite adorable. Not only that, but she sensed a sort of kinship with me, and gave me my Hero as a present. She said it would protect me, but at the time, I had no idea what that truly meant.

In this instance, I escaped with no particular purpose in mind. I just wanted to free myself from the confines of the nursery. Luckily, my younger brothers provided ample distractions for the people who took care of us, even without any intervention on my part. I slipped out of the nursery during the commotion and left to explore the palace. After all, without a specific goal in mind, I had no choice but to look for something interesting.

“Oho, is that Princess Sherin? What are you doing outside of the nursery?”

Unfortunately, instead of finding anything of interest, I ran into a troublesome person almost immediately. I’d met him before once, but didn’t remember his name. This man was a baron or some such; I remembered that my uncle had once introduced us, but that was about it. He was somewhat short, and a little overweight. His gray hair only covered the sides of his head, since he was balding pretty badly. There was a little mustache, styled into two points beneath his nose, and he wore clothes befitting his status as a small-time noble. Worst of all, he wasn’t alone. Over a dozen armed men stood with him.

“I’ve elected to take a bit of a walk to familiarize myself with the palace today,” I declared. Even then, I understood that the best way to get away with doing something you’re not supposed to be doing was to pretend you had every right to do it. I may have curtsied as I replied, so as not to be rude, but I really didn’t owe some baron an explanation anyway.

“Oho? Without any guards or attendants? How careless of you. Seize her!” he ordered with a smug smile on his lips.

A jolt of fear ran through me. From his tone, and that twisted smile, this wasn’t just someone hoping to return me to the nursery. I could tell there was something more sinister going on. As the armed men surged forward to surround me, I hugged my Hero tightly, and screamed.

“Take care not to harm her!” the baron ordered his men. “We need her alive to force the king to release Duke Finlaud! That little forest wench isn’t around this time, we can’t lose this chance!”

Then I heard the dull ring of a sword slicing through flesh, and a corresponding groan, followed by a thud. When I opened my eyes, I could hardly believe it.

“Hero!”

Before me was a life-sized version of my Hero: an adorable brown bear clad in armor, adorned with a red cape—but he was bigger than any of the men. The sword he held was wet with the blood of a man who was sprawled out on the floor. It was my first time witnessing such violence, but rather than feeling scared, I was excited. My heart pounded in my chest.

“Villains! How dare you gang up on a defenseless girl?! The sword of justice cries for your punishment!” the true Hero admonished the crowd of men as he brandished his sword!

He sounded so cool! I was smitten anew. I still held the toy version in my arms, but this was the real thing in front of me. My Hero.

“What in the— D-Don’t worry! We still have the numbers. It’ll all be over once we have the girl!” the baron sputtered. He didn’t sound so convincing, though, as he stepped backward.

“Vile fiend! You speak so casually of wrongdoing in the presence of justice? I will vanquish your evil and subvert your horrid plans here and now!”

He’s so cool! Get him, Hero!

Hero Bear swung his sword in a wide arc to drive back the crowd in front of him. When the men in front of him backed away, he veered over to his right and ran his blade through a man positioned near the wall. The next moment, he leaped to the other side of the room and cleaved through another man near the opposite wall. Now there were only enemies in front of us and behind. The baron noticed this too.

“Close in! Take her from behind!” he bellowed, waving his hands to signal to his men. From my position, he looked like a drunk orchestra conductor.

The people behind me did as instructed...or rather, they tried to. Hero jumped into the air and did a backward flip before elegantly swinging his sword. With a single stroke, he felled three of the attackers; then he spun around and finished off the rest of the people behind me with a few quick strikes. His bladework was masterful, far more skilled than any I’d ever seen—although most of the swordplay I’d witnessed before that was from the safety of my father’s lap during military training, so there wasn’t much for me to compare it to at that point. But Hero was certainly more skilled than the men around us. Compared to him, they were hardly moving. Before the baron and his men could react, Hero turned to face the men in front of me, then flung himself forward. He feinted toward one man, but ran another through. I could see the fear growing in their eyes as panic set in. They were no match for my Hero.

The baron panicked as well.

“A-ta-ta-ta-ta-tack together!” he shrieked. “There’s only one enemy! Use your numbers!”

He pointed a pudgy finger as he sputtered out orders, but my Hero didn’t let up. With only the men in front of me remaining, he was free to put his all into attacking, without having to worry about enemies to the rear. Even when the soldiers attacked together, he just swung his sword in a wide arc to throw them into disarray. Those that pulled back were no longer able to attack, and those that didn’t were cut down. Just like that, my Hero steadily reduced the enemy numbers, until finally only the baron remained.

“Defend yourself, villainous cur!” my Hero challenged him. “Or are you the cowardly kind who can only hide behind his men and bark orders? Draw your blade, and I’ll cut you down where you stand!”

The baron stood there trembling with his mouth hanging open. His noble pride was already in tatters, but now he was being insulted even further. In his fury, he took up a nearby weapon from the ground. “I’ll just have to do it myself,” he grunted. “I won’t let this chance pass me by.”

“I commend your resolve at least. Prepare yourself.”

Hero! You’re so dashing!

Hero and the baron charged each other with blades at the ready. I was prepared for an epic clash of wills, but then my Hero’s sword began to glow with an awesome power.

“Exploding Heroic Slash!”

With those words, my Hero unleashed a mighty swing of his blade. The stroke was far too fast to follow. I saw a white line appear across the baron’s body moments before he was engulfed in a terrific explosion. Nothing remained of him. He was reduced to ash in an instant. Meanwhile, I was completely protected from any harm, thanks to an invisible barrier around me.

Moments later, a group of regular palace guards appeared.

“Princess Sherin!”

“You’re safe!”

“What’s all this?”

“What’s going on here?”

“What happened?”

“What is that thing?”

They were understandably confused, so I tried to explain what happened.

“Um, so, there was a bad baron, but he’s a pile of ashes now. He told his men to grab me so he could make my daddy let Uncle Finlaud out. When they tried to get me, my Hero stopped them all. He whooshed his sword around and took every one of them down in the name of justice! It was so cool! That’s why everyone is on the ground. I think they’re dead. My Hero protected me!”

Realization flashed across the faces of a few of the guards, but the majority were probably just confused further by my childish explanation of the events. After all, I was only six or so at the time. Luckily, one of the men who seemed to understand was the one in charge.

“Please come with us, Princess Sherin,” he said. “We must explain this to your father.”

“Do I have to?” I whined.

“Since you were the only witness to what took place, I believe your father will ask for you,” he replied firmly. “Please accompany us.”

In hindsight, the way the guard captain handled it was absolutely the right move. If he’d tried to force the issue, Hero might have diced him up. Being calm and gentle was the way to go. Perhaps he was used to dealing with children.

The guards led me straight to the throne room, and Hero Bear followed behind me. I wonder if he sensed my nervousness. Queen Grimwood hadn’t told me about all of the abilities my stuffed bear had when she gave it to me, so all of this came as quite a shock. Even so, I still felt safer with Hero than with the guards. After all, he’d just defeated over a dozen armed men single-handedly, and made it look easy. I was apprehensive about meeting with my father, but having my Hero there was reassuring.

Just before we arrived at the throne room, one of the guards ran ahead, and gave my father a brief report about the situation. Of course, I didn’t realize that at the time, but as soon as we entered, I understood. I figured it out, because father was absolutely furious. Nobles and royals are usually quite skilled at hiding their emotions, and father was no exception. However, even with the limited time I’d spent with him, I knew that the fake smile plastered on his face was concealing a burning anger. Inwardly, I hoped that a stern lecture was the worst that would come of the situation.

“So, Sherin, please explain in great detail how you ended up in a corridor surrounded by the corpses of armed men, and please don’t leave out anything about the creature acting as your bodyguard.” He was the picture of calm as he spoke, drawing upon every bit of his restraint, but his tone wavered ever so slightly, revealing the seething anger beneath his facade.

If we had been in private, he certainly would have yelled. Here in the throne room, he had to maintain his royal decorum, so the rage stayed hidden beneath a meticulously maintained mask of grace. Faced with that, I carefully explained what happened. I began with how I escaped the nursery, and then explained everything after that. Father interjected questions here and there, which I answered to the best of my ability. Once the tale was completed, he heaved an exasperated sigh.

“I shall have to think very carefully about how to punish you for this,” he said. “You must learn just how dangerous the world is.”

I reflexively tensed up. The punishments I received as a child were always fairly minor, but I still dreaded them at the time. Sensing that, my Hero stepped forward.

“Sire, if the purpose of a punishment is to ensure a lesson is learned, then hasn’t that objective already been accomplished?” the bear reasoned. “Surely after what happened, the princess understands that being kept in the nursery is for her own protection. During this latest episode, she experienced firsthand how cruel the world can be. She was quite fortunate to have brought along the Hero Bear doll. Without it she could have been taken hostage, or worse. I think she has learned the lesson well. In any case, the real villains here were the ones who tried to abduct her, and they have all been dealt with.”

With his adorable plush exterior, many adults wouldn’t have taken Hero seriously, but father knew better than to look down on him. “What you say does make some sense. Are you a vassal of Queen Grimwood?”

“I am bound only to that doll there,” my Hero replied. “It is true that Her Majesty was responsible for my creation, but my primary role is to protect the adorable girl who holds that doll.”

“I see. Was there no way you could have spared a few of the assailants? I’m glad you protected my daughter, but there isn’t anyone left to interrogate.”

Later, I learned that my father was at quite a loss without a body to examine. The true identity of the culprit eluded him until a certain noble matching the description of my would-be kidnapper was reported missing.

“It’s unfortunate, but in a situation like that, when being forced to protect a charge against multiple attackers, the best strategy is to kill quickly,” said my Hero Bear. “In most situations, dead men will not get back up and continue to menace your charge. That is why I showed no mercy. If your men had arrived sooner, I could have spared a few, but once their leader was the only one left, justice compelled me to put an end to him, vile as he was.”

Father nodded in understanding. I doubt he would have left that baron alive in that situation. My father was talented with a sword, though not as impressive as my Hero. Even so, father would have ended the baron just the same. The thought somehow made me happy. He wasn’t mad at me; father was angry for my sake. It showed how much he cared, which he couldn’t do very often. There were always servants around watching our interactions, so I rarely got to see his feelings on display.

“Th-Thank you for getting upset on my behalf, father,” I said. “I understand why you’re angry, so I’ll make an effort to stay out of trouble going forward. I love you.”

It wasn’t a lie, but I also didn’t promise not to sneak out of the nursery again. If anything, I vowed to avoid being caught. Without realizing it, I also used the three magic words that melted any father’s heart when he heard them from his daughter. Faced with that, father finally relented.

Unfortunately, I was still returned to the nursery, where the nurses and attendants gave me a lecture. The life-size version of my Hero disappeared sometime during the tongue-lashing. But I knew he’d return to protect me again if I needed it. After all, that’s just what heroes did...

Chapter Seventeen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Goes Fishing

I gathered all the Irregulars I could spare and powered them up as much as I was able to, spreading out the levels evenly. After that, I created a tower on the northern side of the lake, as close to the shore as possible, and grew it tall enough that our giant spider friend could use it as a brace. Hopefully the extra leverage would make a difference.

On the side of the tower facing the lake, I installed a couple of pulleys for even more leverage. There would be a total of four thick strands of silk to pull on, one at each corner of the net. We could have made it more complex, but we decided against it. The bottom two strands were securely anchored to the tower, so they wouldn’t come free easily. Meanwhile, the top two were already on the other side of the lake. It had taken nearly a day to create a net this large, and almost as long to take the strands to the other end. Our net had to be moved slowly, dragged along the bottom of the lake, or the plan wouldn’t work. Now the net covered nearly the entire lake bottom.

I’d mentioned this already, but remember, this lake was close to the size of the Grand Canyon in the world I came from, so a net that could cover nearly the entire lake floor was impressive. The gaps were big enough that anything smaller than the Lord of the Lake would slip right through. Unless there was something more than half the Lord’s size in there, nothing else would get caught in the net. After all, more creatures thrashing around in the net would just make our job more difficult.

It was my job to take the pair of longer strands back to the tower. They’d been painstakingly dragged to the other side of the lake, so they were quite the distance away. This was the other reason they were so long. I needed to be able to pick up one, then go to the other side of the lake, grab the other strand, then fly back to the tower holding both. Even empty, the net weighed a lot, but I had the strength stat to handle it. In fact, I was really the only person for the job. At the time, I didn’t even consider anyone else.

That stage of the plan was the most problematic, but I pulled it off just fine. With my wings deployed, I was faster than most people could follow, so it went fairly quickly. Once I returned to the lakeside tower with strands in hand, we were ready to start pulling. We secured the strands I brought back to the pulleys, for extra leverage. With any luck, the Lake Lord would be on the northern side of the lake, and it’d get pulled right into our trap. The assembled Irregulars pulled at the strands with all their might; with the pulleys I installed, the work went quickly. There were spider monsters stationed all around the lake. If the Lord jumped out of the lake at one of the other shores and made a break for it, they’d let the big one know about it.

We didn’t need to pull for very long. When the net suddenly got a lot heavier, there was only one explanation. Since the Lake Lord was the only creature big enough to get caught in the net, and there weren’t any huge rocks for it to get snagged on, the trap had been successful. The problem now was pulling it out.

Our spider friend was braced behind the tower, tugging with all of its might, and the Irregulars gave it everything they had too. Unfortunately, the net was hardly moving.

There was only one thing to do. I grabbed a hold of the top edge of the net and yanked it straight up. As I pulled, I saw the Lake Lord emerge from the depths, tangled in the net. Since I had my wings deployed, I quickly wrapped more of the net around it and hauled it to the shore. It was gigantic.

Now that I could see the whole thing, I realized it was basically a giant frog with a long tail like that of a crocodile. The rough surface on the top of its head resembled a crocodile’s skin too. The way it thrashed around in the net once we got it on land was also a very crocodile move; it rolled around until it got stuck, then tried rolling the other way. I wasn’t really worried until I saw one of the strands anchored to the tower break. Then, I panicked.“Get clear,” I shouted to my allies. “I’m going to use magic!”

From the air, I couldn’t actually use most of my spells, but I could still throw items that mimicked spell effects. So that’s what I did. I aimed for its remaining eye, but the Lake Lord was still spinning, so my aim was a bit off. When the magical item bounced off of its tough hide, electricity streaked across the Lake Lord’s body. An inhuman roar filled the air, but the master of the lake was still with us, and it rolled its body even more furiously in an effort to free itself. This was quite the formidable foe.

At least that was confirmation that even if I’d used a spell shard instead of a rock earlier, it wouldn’t have killed the Lake Lord in one shot.

With the way it was thrashing, the others couldn’t really attack it, or even hold on to the strands very well. The pulleys creaked under the strain every time it moved. This monster had to be at a superhigh level. It’d probably eaten whatever monsters or humans it wanted its whole life. There was no reason to hold back, so I changed strategies. I landed on the ground, to let my feet absorb the natural energy I needed for my attack spells.

I decided to start with Green Nature Bullet. When I first arrived in this world, I’d reflexively performed a silent cast version of this low-level spell with reduced power, and it had completely obliterated an armed bear. This time, I planned to use the entire chant to hit it at full power.

“Engre Aretuna Tollebu!”

The bullet fired, speeding toward the massive target. I waited to see what sort of damage would be inflicted, but was quickly disappointed. Just as the spell was about to make contact, the Lake Lord spun its massive body in the same direction the bullet was traveling, and the next thing I knew, the bullet had been deflected harmlessly into the air. The farther away from the ground it got, the less integrity it had, until finally it burst into twinkling motes of light like a lame firework.

In Questonicia, Green Nature Bullet was my primary offense. There were other spells in my arsenal, but they took much longer to cast, so I usually saved them for later in the battle, after my brothers had disabled the opponent to keep it from moving so much. After all, there was no point in using a big move with a long cast time if you couldn’t hit anything. In this case though, the net was holding it down, and the target was massive...but that in itself was also a problem.

If I cast a bigger attack spell and the Lord of the Lake didn’t go down, the net’s structural integrity would likely be compromised. In other words, there was a chance I could set it free by accident if I used a big spell. So I went with a spell only slightly stronger than the first one.

“Dantover Yera!”

This was the intermediate spell “Verdant Ray,” which basically fired a big green laser beam at the enemy. This time, my spell collided with the enemy and gouged out a chunk of flesh, but since it was spinning, I also damaged part of the net. The Lake Lord let out another pained roar, as if to tell me it was still alive. It was encouraging to see one of my spells work, but I needed something more decisive.

Advanced spells took longer to cast, but their destructive power was in a different league. Feeling the pressure, I resolved to end the battle quickly. Even if this next spell didn’t end the fight, it would still stop the Lake Lord from moving. That was my plan.

The cast time was painful; sitting there waiting for the energy to gather was really irritating, but a quick cast version wouldn’t have been as effective. Finally, the spell was ready.

“Paleim Ornth!”

I cast the advanced spell “Impale Thorn,” which was supposed to summon a massive thorny vine that would impale the enemy. I say supposed to, because at the last moment another piece of the net broke, and the Lake Lord narrowly avoided a direct hit as it spun. Frustration was clear on my face. That move had been intended to hold it still so the others could finish it off. It wasn’t my first time missing an enemy with it, but it was certainly the most frustrating. And with that last bit of damage to the net, it gained quite a bit more room to roll around. We were about to lose our catch, so I had no choice but to use Verdant Ray again.

Even if I couldn’t finish it off with Verdant Ray, I could still actually hit it, which was more than I could say for the other attack spells in my arsenal. For the record, most of my spells were for healing and removing status effects. My spell list also had magic for increasing stats by a little bit. I really didn’t have many attack spells, because Lilac was meant to be a healer.

“Dantover Yera!”

I launched another Verdant Ray, with similar results to the first one. I don’t think it penetrated very deep, because the Lake Lord still kept spinning. Even worse, the net was looking even more tattered. Even though I was worried about what would happen if I kept up that type of attack, I had no other options.

“Dantover Yera!”

This time, the ray struck the one of the Lake Lord’s hind legs. The spinning only made the damage worse. Unfortunately, the net also took a considerable amount of damage. In addition, that same leg was now free. Despite being injured, the Lake Lord used its free leg to pull against the net with all its might. It jerked at the net with its head and tail as it pushed against the ground with its leg.

“Dantover Yera!”

I aimed at the leg it was using to resist, since I could avoid hitting the net that way. Unfortunately, the Lake Lord saw the attack coming, and turned its body into the attack. It deliberately let me damage a huge chunk of its flesh over a wide area because it realized I would destroy part of the net along with it. After it took the attack, all it took was one mighty push, and it was free. It tumbled out of the tattered remains of the net, covered in injuries. If nothing changed, the Lord would retreat into the water. But before I could make a move, someone else did.

Seeing its longtime nemesis injured, the giant spider made a move. It lunged away from its position behind the tower to attack the Lake Lord. The spider’s fangs sank into one of the Lake Lord’s open wounds. If the Lord’s hide was too tough for it to bite through normally, then it made sense to attack where there were no longer any armor-like scales. When the giant spider tried to grab and hold the Lake Lord, though, the Lake Lord opened up its huge mouth and bit down. I could hear the spider’s thick carapace snap and crack as the Lake Lord’s jagged teeth sank into one of its front legs. Once it established a good grip, the Lake Lord violently twisted its body and ripped the spider’s leg clean off its body. Even as it lost a limb, the spider tried valiantly to make some more thread to hold the Lake Lord down, but it was just too strong for such stopgap measures. The strands for the net had been woven from multiple threads braided together; compared to those, these new threads were just too weak.

With the spider in the way, I couldn’t really fire off any magic. Still, I wasn’t going to give up. I deployed my wings. Not because I wanted to fly, but to give myself more time. With my wings deployed, I was much faster, but I couldn’t use attack magic with my feet floating in the air. In that state, I watched the clash between the giant spider and the Lake Lord play out in super slow motion. My thoughts were accelerated, and I focused entirely on how to overturn this situation. The game had no mechanism for Sprigians to move around in the water; in the worst case, I could die if I followed it into the lake. The best option was to keep it on land until we defeated it...but that was the hard part.

It was just so big. Even if I was technically stronger, that didn’t mean I could hold it back. I didn’t have the mass to avoid being tossed around. Sometimes in television shows you’d see a super strong character stop a giant from moving, but that’s not how physics works. No matter how strong you were, if you got hit hard enough, the difference in weight would send you flying. It’d be hard to stop something from moving with just your body when you had nowhere near as much mass as the thing you’re trying to stop. That was why we had used a net, and tons of leverage—but now that advantage was gone. The spider was big as well, but even if I used a strengthening spell on it, it wouldn’t be able to hold the Lake Lord back.

If only there was something big enough to stop it. A creature with size and strength to match.

For a moment, I wondered if I could make a magic item that would turn me into a giant. I quickly abandoned that version of the idea, but it got me thinking along those lines. Next, I thought about an enormous version of Team Apple working together to hold it down, but then the imaginary heroes got chomped by the Lake Lord. What about something with a tough hide? That was one of the things that made the Lake Lord so difficult to deal with. I thought about Hammer and Herc, but I abandoned that plan; their levels were too low for them to fight very well.

Then, everything came together in my head.

I needed someone who could fight as a giant, with armor-like skin. Capable of leaving the tower, and as a bonus, they had a ton of battle experience. There was only one person who fit the criteria. I pictured them in my mind. Not as they usually were, but gigantic: big enough to match the Lake Lord in size and strength. As the image crystallized in my mind, I put away my wings. With my feet on the ground, I could use magic again. This was my first time attempting a transport of this type, but for some reason, I was certain that what I wanted would become reality.

My magic power swelled, and I focused it into creating the portal I needed. When the moment was right, I yelled the name of the person I wanted to summon.

“Redimir!”

At my command, the sun was eclipsed by a titanic dragon. Like his adorable baby self, the giant Redimir was covered in black scales from head to foot except for his silvery underbelly, which stretched from his chin to his tail. Unfortunately, in this form, his proportions weren’t cute at all. The elongated neck and sky-blackening wings announced to everyone that a real dragon had arrived. Redimir himself only looked confused for a moment: He saw right away what I wanted him to do. At least, I hoped he did.

“Redimir!” I called out. Better safe than sorry. “The spider is on our side, get the other thing! Hold it down, and don’t let it into the water!”

“Finally, I’ve been given a chance to atone for the mistakes of my youth! Have at thee!” Redimir roared.

With that solid battle cry, Redimir joined the fray. The injured spider seemed relieved when he swooped in, and she backed off to let the other two titans go at it. The ensuing battle was intense. A very surprised Lake Lord tried to bite Redimir with its huge mouth and swung its huge tail around to attack, but neither connected. No matter what the Lake Lord did, Redimir easily anticipated it and turned the tables. When the Lake Lord tried to bite, Redimir dodged nimbly and sank his claws deep into its injuries. Its body was already covered in wounds, and as the battle raged on, they grew deeper and wider. Every time the Lake Lord swung its tail, Redimir deflected the blows with his own. As the huge creatures collided, they whipped up the wind around them.

From where I was positioned, I had a front row seat to a battle between two titanic monsters. A real life kaiju battle was unfolding, and I took in every detail as I watched for an opening. I wanted to finish the Lake Lord off with my magic, but I couldn’t risk hitting Redimir if their positions shifted while I was readying my spell. That didn’t mean I wanted to just sit and eat popcorn (or a reasonable fruit-based facsimile) while I watched Redimir do my dirty work, though. So I thought for a moment, and issued my orders.

“Redimir, hold it in place! I want to get a clean hit in with a spell!”

“Understood, please don’t hesitate to hit me as well if you must!” His voice was strained as he grappled with the creature.

“I’m asking you to hold it still so I don’t have to hit you!” Having devoted underlings was a curse sometimes, but I still wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Redimir did as instructed, and held the Lake Lord in place. I wasted no time casting the spell I had in mind. Well, no time except for the long casting interval, that is.

“Paleim Ornth!”

This time, my Impale Thorn spell did as it was supposed to and skewered the Lake Lord. The huge thorny stalk that erupted from the ground pierced straight through and tangled up the Lake Lord’s body. Even with that injury, though, I could tell it was still prepared to struggle.

“Redimir! Get clear!”

On command, Redimir opened his huge wings and gained altitude. He was far enough away that he wouldn’t get caught up in the blast, but close enough to rejoin the fray if my spell didn’t work. The spell I would try this time was my strongest. I hadn’t been able to use it before, because there’d been a very real chance I’d either miss or hit my allies. With the Lake Lord held down by Impale Thorn, though, I was free to bring my full power to bear. I began casting my strongest attack spell, but I wasn’t feeling confident.

“Redimir, be ready to follow up if it’s still squirming after this!”

“Of course, Your Majesty!”

As I prepared the spell, I could feel the magic surge inside of me. I held my hands up in front of me, and the attack began to take shape, a massive green sphere of pure natural energy. The orb continued to expand as I poured more magic into it. Sensing the danger, the Lake Lord thrashed around in a desperate attempt to free itself. As it struggled, I backed away a bit, but not because I was afraid of the Lake Lord. Honestly, I just didn’t want to be in the splash zone when this spell hit. It was my first time trying it in this world, and the orb of natural energy was way bigger than I remembered—at least ten times my size and still growing.

“Thuwra fo Ruthemo Turena!”

It’s difficult to describe the sensation I felt when the spell was ready to fire. I felt relieved, yet also filled with dread. The moment that feeling came over me, my instincts took over, and I shouted the incantation to finish the spell. “Wrath of Mother Nature” was the strongest attack spell I could cast. As it surged forward, the massive green sphere took on more of a conical shape.

From the moment I used magic for the first time, I’d noticed some differences in the ways my spells behaved in this world. For example, in the game, my “Green Nature Bullet” didn’t normally make monsters explode. After that incident, I’d looked up the spell on the help screen, and the description mentioned that using it on an entity that was already full of life could cause it to rupture at the cellular level. This battle taught me a lot more about my magic and how it worked here. In the game there was no method for parrying spells; they either hit or missed. Yet the Lake Lord had deflected one of my spells with its hide, and had been able to spread out the damage from a spell designed to penetrate enemy defenses.

But my slow-moving ultimate spell finally made contact with the Lake Lord, and plunged deep into its body.

For a moment, I held my breath, worried that the strongest spell I could muster wouldn’t be enough to kill it. In the game, Wrath of Mother Nature was the weakest spell of its kind. The reason was simple: If healers could deal huge damage, you wouldn’t need job classes that specialized in attack magic. As such, every spell of the same class that attack magic users could learn outclassed it. However, the damage output for any attack spell depended on the stats of the mage casting it. Since arriving in this world, my stats had increased far beyond what they’d been in the game. Luckily, I was already thinking about my spells and the little differences between their in-game behavior and the way they worked here. I sensed what was about to happen just in time, and deployed my wings.

I hurled myself backward as the spell buried inside of the Lake Lord expanded, then exploded. Tiny bits of giant amphibian rained everywhere. Other than the crimson rain and a few unrecognizable chunks of flesh, there was nothing left of it. There was even a small crater where it met its demise, but that quickly filled with water from the lake.

Once the deluge of amphibian chunks subsided, I returned to the shore. Apparently, everyone else was worried I’d gotten myself caught in the blast. I’d moved out of the way with my wings deployed just as the explosion happened, but to them, it must’ve looked like I disintegrated.

When I returned, my allies ran over to me frantically. Most of them had been in the splash zone, so they were covered in blood and gore. Watching them all head straight for me at once, covered in blood and monster bits, was surreal. I was prepared to deploy a barrier to protect my dress if I needed to.

“Your Majesty!” Ringo cried with tears running down his face.

“You’re all right!” wailed Mela, her face absolutely covered in a crimson mask of monster blood.

“Thank goodness!” sobbed Pomme.

Manzana didn’t say anything, but he was happy to see me as well.

“You did it!” Shildris yelled. She looked so excited.

Ringo was a blubbering mess; he couldn’t contain his tears. I was quickly surrounded by him and the rest of Team Apple, as well as Shildris and the rest of my Irregulars, all of whom had at least a little blood on them.

“I’m sorry to have worried you,” I told them, “but could you let me through for a moment? I have an injured ally over there.”

I pointed toward the giant spider. It had been wounded during the battle earlier, and was missing one of its front limbs. The crowd around me understood, and they parted to make way for me, and I walked over to our wounded ally. As I approached, the huge spider trembled. On top of the pain of its wounds, it was likely worried that I was about to dispose of it now that the lord of the lake was out of the way.

“Storere Dybo!”

This was the top class healing spell, “Restore Body,” and as the name implied, it was a spell that fully healed the target. The spider’s wounds disappeared; even the severed leg was restored, as though nothing had ever happened to it. Even my Irregulars, who normally just acted like everything I did was obviously something I should have been capable of, were awestruck at the display of miraculous healing. As for the spider itself, it was incredibly moved.

“To think you would not only honor our agreement, but even use your power to make me whole again. I swear, my children and I shall serve you for all of eternity!”

“Your Majesty,” Redimir said, “if you would accept her vow, then give her a name to seal the pact, just as you did with me.”

“A name, huh? Wait, are you female?!”

“Oh, er, yes, I am the mother of all of these others,” she replied. “They are essentially copies of me, born through fatherless eggs.”

“Wow, okay. In that case, I’ll name you Charlotte, after a clever spider from a book I read once.”

As soon as she received her name, Charlotte’s body began to glow, and she shrank down to Sprigian size. She was a bipedal humanoid shape now, but she had two extra pairs of arms. Basically, each shoulder had three arms attached to it. Her skin was a brown color now, instead of the rocklike gray she used to be. Instead she had hair that rock-gray color, and she only had two eyes, which were entirely red. She had six floating red orbs, though, three on either side of her head, and each one about as big as one of her eyes. She was shapely, and well proportioned too.

Fortunately, she wasn’t naked. Her outfit looked similar to her old exoskeleton, so I guessed it was more for defense than fashion.

Charlotte looked bewildered by her new appearance, but I was secretly very relieved. Having someone swear their undying loyalty to you was nice and everything, but I wasn’t super excited about a gigantic spider serving me. After her transformation, though, Charlotte was supercute, and I didn’t mind having her around at all.

Now that Charlotte took up a lot less space on the ground, Redimir landed nearby, and he shrank down too. I thought he was going to turn back into a baby dragon, but instead, he took a humanoid form.

He was Sprigian-sized too, with pale skin and pointed ears. He had silver eyes and black hair. He was essentially wearing a butler’s uniform, and he looked great in it. He adjusted his red bow tie and immaculate white gloves as he walked over to me. He and Charlotte were the only people in the area besides me that didn’t have any blood on them. Once he was close enough, I could see how gorgeous he was.

Why am I cursed to be surrounded by hot men?

I kinda thought he was going to just return to the Unseen Realm once the battle was over, but here he was, every adorable bit of him. As he walked toward me, Shildris came running over as well, blood caked all over her body. She was a bit breathless.

“That. Was. Amazing!” she managed between heaving breaths.

I laughed. “Take your time, I won’t go anywhere.”

“I never. Imagined. You’d completely. Obliterate it like that. It was insane!”

“Deep breaths, everything is fine now.” I reassured her as best I could, but she was like a fan at a concert who had just gotten to shake hands with her favorite singer. Watching the battle had really gotten her adrenaline pumping.

Shildris took a few moments to stabilize her breathing, then started reliving the battle in detail. She was still very excited. I was afraid she might have been upset that she didn’t get to finish it off, or even really participate in the battle, but apparently, watching me struggle with it really drove home just how out of her league the thing had been. She was fine just experiencing the victory vicariously through me for the moment.

“I never thought there wouldn’t be anything left of it,” she said thoughtfully, when she was finally done describing what the battle had looked like from her perspective. “It’s going to be tough to convince people that the Lord is really dead.”

“Sorry about that, I didn’t have much choice. What little it did leave behind isn’t really identifiable. I’ll save a video of the battle, though. If anyone doubts your story, tell them they can watch that. Maybe I’ll even edit in some music.”

Shildris didn’t really seem to understand, but she smiled and nodded anyway. I had the Irregulars search for anything that could be used as a trophy, but nobody found anything. That was actually fine with me, since I wasn’t really super enthusiastic about the idea of preserving a part of that thing’s body to remind everyone of the battle. So in the end, the video record of the battle was all that remained of the once feared Lord of the Lake. Well, besides all of the blood everyone was busily washing off.

Watching the cinematic version of that replay eventually became one of the favorite pastimes of my people. It was embarrassing, but I was just happy to get them to take a break once in a while.

“Now there’s nobody who contests your authority over the forest,” Shildris pointed out. “You really are the supreme ruler of the Grimwood.”

So it was. From that day onward, I was recognized as the Queen of the Grimwood. Thanks to that, my life became relatively uneventful for a while.

Epilogue: The Adorable Dungeon Master Hosts a Conference

I woke up one day and realized I’d been in this world for over a year now.

The forest was now its own independent country, but I wanted it to become a place people visited frequently. It wasn’t out of some altruistic love for humanity; I just wanted them to challenge my dungeons and earn me some points. If I had to make the whole thing into a trade hub or a tourist trap to get challengers to show up, then that’s what I’d do. As more people challenged my dungeons, I earned more points, which I could use to make all kinds of improvements. By the way, anything that was a permanent fixture still cost me points, but I could make a lot of stuff for free.

I discovered that I could create just about anything in the Unseen Realm and then bring it back with me, but that didn’t apply to items too big to fit in my inventory. So I couldn’t, for example, bring my castle in the Unseen Realm back to the tower with me. I could bring small pieces of furniture, but anything bigger than that was a no-go. Since I spent points nearly as fast as I earned them most of the time, I always wanted more. So when I received a request to hold a conference with the leaders of all of the neighboring nations in attendance, I readily accepted.

The purpose of the conference was to negotiate the details of a trade agreement between all of the countries around the Grimwood—a sort of trade alliance. Of course, that included the Grimwood itself, but I already had pacts with each nation individually. In this case, since my country was central to the whole trade pact, I was expected to act as a sort of moderator while the other leaders hashed out conditions between themselves. If anything related to the Grimwood came up during discussions, I would weigh in as a representative of my nation, but otherwise I was just babysitting the discussion and making sure things didn’t get too intense. After all, there would be rulers whose nations had once been at war with each other attending the conference. Honestly, though, I was more interested in getting more people to challenge the dungeons than anything else.

On the day of the event, I was in my room, attended by Charlotte. After I defeated the Lake Lord, Charlotte became one of my subordinates. At first I didn’t really know what to do with her, but she turned out to be pretty good at weaving, sewing, and designing cute dresses. She was also good at helping me into the clothes she made. Charlotte held up one dress after another in front of me, eyeballing how each one would look if I wore it. My wardrobe had grown by leaps and bounds in the weeks following my acquisition of Charlotte, and I now had an entire room dedicated to just my own clothing. It was so huge, I couldn’t bring myself to call it a closet. I still kept my original outfits from the game in my inventory, but some of the new dresses rivaled them in terms of useful abilities.

Once Charlotte made an outfit, I could imbue it with various effects. All I had to do was bring the item in question to the Unseen Realm and I could give it whatever interesting abilities I wanted. In this instance, I added the abilities without visiting the Unseen Realm directly. Fortunately, my control of the Unseen Realm had improved enough that I could send an item there remotely, imbue it with effects, then retrieve it. That was how I’d made Sherin’s Hero Bear. In that instance, I made the item in the Unseen Realm, imbued it with effects, brought it back to the mortal realm, and given it to Sherin. Working with something that already existed was much easier.

“Hmm. I think this one would be best after all. This blue is really your color.”

The dress Charlotte was holding up really was in a favorite color of mine, the same blue as a clear summer sky. Her earlier attempts at dressmaking were best used as bedroom attire, but this piece had a really tasteful shape. I preferred dresses where the bottom puffed outward like a bell or a flower at the bottom. I wasn’t sure what that style was called, but it looked good on me. It helped disguise how absurdly wide my hips were, and also hid my curvy legs. It wasn’t that I thought they looked bad, I just rather not share them with the entire world.

Charlotte helped me into the dress, and we arranged the white bows and ribbons. There was also a great deal of white lace, which almost looked like clouds against the sky-colored dress. The front of the dress was attached to a white choker around my neck, and the straps for the shoulders hung limply to the side for aesthetic, rather than functional, purposes. The dress didn’t have much of a back covering the upper torso, which made it easier to deploy my wings should the need arise.

As I admired my dress in the mirror, Charlotte was already braiding my hair. Using her six arms, she tied my hair into three separate ponytails, and braided them together with two blue ribbons that matched the dress and one white one. With all three ribbons woven into the braid, the effect was striking. I usually used the twin-tails style, but that made me look a bit childish. This was a formal occasion of great importance, so I wanted to inspire more respect.

Once my hair was done, I studied my reflection once more. “Wonderful job, Charlotte. You’ve perfectly captured the look I wanted. Now I can hold my head high among the other leaders.”

“Your Majesty looks absolutely wonderful in anything,” she humbly replied. “I just listened to your instructions, and acted accordingly. Nothing so praiseworthy.”

“I disagree. You’ve grown a lot since I put you to work as an attendant. It’s only right that I recognize your improvement.”

“You honor me—”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

My refusal to allow her to be humble caused a smile she couldn’t hide to appear on Charlotte’s face. She looked so cute when she smiled. The adorable sight rejuvenated me. I was ready for the conference.

As I mentioned earlier, the conference was a gathering of all of the leaders from every nation bordering the Grimwood. I already had agreements with every single one of them, but this conference was meant to solidify this group of nations into a multinational trade alliance. Since agreements negotiated between nations usually went through diplomats instead of the leaders directly, I was meeting most of these leaders for the first time.

King Doma was the only ruler in attendance whose country didn’t share a border with any of the represented nations except mine, and there were a few members of the group who bore old animosities toward the other nations. It was only natural that countries with shared borders would argue over things from time to time, and in some cases, that escalated to war. It was sometimes difficult to let go of such grudges, even if they were caused by events that happened before the current ruler had been born. In the histories of some nations, there were wars that started over grudges neither side could remember the root cause of at the time.

Today’s meeting wasn’t meant to address any of these old wounds, but to discuss trade between nations. During the latter half of my first year in this world, I’d tried to establish my nation as a trade hub. In other words, to make it a place where people could come to exchange currency for goods, or vice versa. I was dealing with many different nations, and each had their own currency, so my people acted as money changers for merchants who wished to travel into other nations, and they were pretty good at it. As the trade volume between nations increased, people had started murmuring about how much easier trade would be if there were only a single currency for the Grimwood and the nations bordering it.

Adopting a single-currency system was sure to become a hot topic at today’s meeting, so I made sure to study the pros and cons of such a system. The main disadvantage seemed to be that it was much harder to leave such an alliance if you’d adopted a single currency. Plus there was the issue of who would mint the collective currency. If every nation were allowed to mint their own coins for the collective currency, it could cause inflation if too many hit the market at once. If this was going to work, then the best way would be to have me make the coins myself.

One of the biggest problems with currency made of precious metals was people shaving off little bits of the coins. Merchants often had to keep scales on hand to make sure gold and silver coins weighed the proper amount. Unfortunately, the casting techniques these nations had available were far from perfect, so even a coin that hadn’t been tampered with might not come out exactly right.

If you’ve ever seen people bite gold coins in shows or movies, that’s because gold was a very soft metal. If it gave in under the pressure of a bite, then it was likely real. Usually the tester would try to bend the coin as well. Gold was naturally more pliable than other metals, so if someone had just coated iron with it, the harder metal inside wouldn’t bend as easily. Counterfeit currency was a problem I could solve fairly easily, though. I could make coins out of metals that wouldn’t be easy to impersonate and imbue each coin with effects to prevent tampering. Humans wouldn’t be able to copy a coin that glowed when you said a certain word, for example—at least not with this world’s technology.

I took the liberty of making some sample coins, assuming I’d end up being asked. If I wasn’t, I’d find a way to show them off anyway. That way, none of the other nations would end up with the ability to mint coins for the alliance. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust these guys, it was that I didn’t have faith in human nature. Even if none of the current leaders caused problems with currency distribution, there was no guarantee one of their descendants wouldn’t. Since my body could live indefinitely, I needed to think like an immortal, someone who would personally face the consequences decades or even centuries later if things weren’t set up properly to start with.

You might think that would be difficult for a former human like myself, but I’d already started thinking like a Sprigian in many ways since I arrived in this world. In some cases, my thinking was clearer, and more long-term. Other times, I was nearly overcome by my desires and had to actively suppress them. Sprigians tended to be very logical and forward-thinking most of the time, but in matters of love, they could be quite passionate and impulsive. There were plenty of examples in Questonicia’s lore of Sprigians succumbing to their desires and ending up with a child both parents loved, even if the parents were distant or even hateful toward each other. Humans sometimes did that too, of course, but I felt like it was much more common in Sprigian lore.

As far as I was concerned, my mind was the best of both worlds. A human’s adaptive, present-day thinking paired with a Sprigian’s long-term planning. Anyway, I was definitely thinking about both short-term harmony and long-term stability for the upcoming meeting.

I sat down at the table, ready to negotiate my nation’s future. Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared for what was to come.

To my surprise, the leaders for the respective nations were all so cordial to each other that there wasn’t any need for me to step in and mediate. The currency issue came up fairly early, but I didn’t really even need to show off the samples I had made before they decided unanimously that I should be the one to mint it. I’d practiced so many responses for arguments against it; I’d never thought they would agree so readily. Honestly, I was absolutely floored. When I showed off the currency samples, the other leaders were incredibly impressed. Even though I’d really had to resist the urge to put cute teddy bear faces on the coins. Money needed to have a certain gravitas to it. If not for that, I would have made them as adorable as possible.

Once the currency situation was settled, the leaders turned to more trifling domestic affairs. More than anything, it was incredibly boring. Each of the leaders was a skilled politician and diplomat, but even an amateur like me could see they were bored out of their minds just as badly as I was. It got so bad that I pulled out my tablet. If anyone asked what I was doing, I could just say I was going over some notes for the meeting. In fact, a few of the other leaders were already surveying their own documents to stave off the boredom.

Personally, though I wasn’t actually checking notes. I had something much better in mind. I was designing a game table. It was technically a magic item, and it would be an upgrade for the table in the very room the meeting was taking place in. Once complete, the tabletop would basically become a magical touch screen, and we’d be able to use it to play various games. Technically, I could also use it to display images of things related to the matters at hand, like a map of the southern half of the continent, for example.

As two of the leaders discussed the price of grain, I poked the confirm button on my tablet’s screen, and the table upgrade began. Normally there’d be a wait before improvements were completed, but I still had plenty of wait-reduction items on hand. I used a few now, and the table was complete before anyone knew what was happening. Using the tablet, I dimmed the lights in the room a bit, and then I activated the table, which was currently being controlled by my tablet too.

Gasps filled the room as the rulers were unable to contain their surprise.

“Wh-What in the world is this?” the old man who was speaking when the table was activated managed to ask.

“Oh, just a little something I set up while you were talking about the price of grain in Mezaria,” I replied. “I thought it might help if I could show everyone a map of the area.” With that convincing excuse, I put a map on the tabletop screen. The image showed the country in question, and the areas that produced grain were highlighted and labeled. The leaders seemed pretty excited about the visual aids, and they became a lot more engaged in the meeting.

After I valiantly saved everyone at the meeting from certain death by boredom, a treaty regarding trade and currency was drafted and ratified. Some of the leaders still had other things to work out, but it was decided that they could meet on their own time to discuss them. “Conference meetings like this should be used to decide things that impact everyone.” That’s what we decided. In the future, we wouldn’t have to listen to anyone drone on about grain prices in their own country, or complain about their neighbor’s domestic animals. Yeah, that happened at one point too. The international equivalent of “your dog dug up my garden” had had everyone else rolling their eyes.

Honestly, it seemed like the leaders only aired these minor grievances because I was there to shield them from rebuke or reprisal. Um, no offense, but please leave me out of it. I really couldn’t care less which country’s grass the cows are eating.

Anyway, the summit would continue for a few more days, but the actual work of it was pretty much done before dinner. Speaking of eating, everyone was pretty impressed with the food. I got the feeling that we’d be holding more conferences like this in the future, if only as an excuse to get together and eat. Other amenities available in my palace were no joke either. Beds, baths, and recreational activities were all top-notch. I’d made sure to include every type of fun game I could think of. They were the types of things you might find at an arcade or in a resort: air hockey, pool tables, ping-pong, mini golf, and plenty of other fun stuff. With the currency situation resolved, I could eventually set up arcade-style video games and crane machines. No home consoles though. I needed people to come here, not become shut-ins.

I would probably stop short of putting in a full casino, though. I wasn’t that interested in money. I mainly just wanted currency to circulate responsibly. Speaking of which, I gifted everyone at the conference a magic wallet. It was made specifically to hold currency, and came with various enhancements that kept it from being lost or stolen. It could also hold infinite coins, so it was ideal for the busy sovereign on the go. I didn’t really need one myself, but I was tempted to make myself a cute one anyway... But I decided to just make them all the same in the end, to avoid squabbling.

After everyone dispersed to wander around and enjoy the recreational facilities, Shildris found me. She hadn’t been in the meeting, but her father had. And he had definitely been more bored than anyone. I saw him startle awake on more than a few occasions, but everyone had politely pretended not to notice his little naps.

Anyway, Shildris had something important on her mind. “I heard you brought out a magic table during the meeting. I wanna see it!”

Apparently, during the meeting, Shildris had treated herself to a screening of the video replay (complete with added-in musical score) of the battle with the Lord of the Lake. There was always a long line to watch it, so it must have caught her attention. Even though she’d been there for the actual battle, she still cheered with the rest of the audience when Redimir appeared, and when I finally landed the killing blow. At this point, I was fairly certain that every single one of my minions had seen it at least twice, and yet there was almost always a line to watch it again. Thankfully, when they noticed Shildris and realized she would be watching it for the first time, they offered her a spot in the front of the line. They did the same thing for other guests, so most of them got to see it too.

Anyway, I led Shildris to the conference room, and we started playing with the video table. I set up various card games, as well as mahjong and other popular board games. For games where each player had a hand of cards or tiles that was private information, there was a small screen angled toward that player with the information they needed. Since there were only two of us, we sat directly across from each other, and I showed her some of the easier games, like concentration, checkers, and reversi.

“Hey, couldn’t people make these sorts of games for themselves?” Shildris asked.

“Actually, they all started off as physical games, with real boards and pieces, but I prefer the video versions, because they reduce or eliminate the ability to cheat.”

Since the table was so large, it was set up to move the virtual game board close to the active player on the screen when it was their turn. This visual effect was quite nice. I also had some jigsaw puzzles loaded up. Most of them had adorable pictures to put together, so after I trounced Shildris at a few board games she’d never played before, we worked together to complete one of those. The jigsaw puzzle was set up so that it was better to sit next to each other while working on it, which was better for bonding. After we finished it, Shildris gave me a big hug. She was giddy with excitement, but I didn’t hate it.

“Are you sure you can’t turn me into a man so I can marry you?” she sighed wistfully.

“Hu-Wha-ht?” I nearly bit my tongue. “I’m flattered, really I am, but I’m not planning on marrying anyone. Vows like that are serious business for my people. We never swear to each other eternally. Promises about romance are always deliberately kept vague, so that no one ends up stuck in a relationship they hate. I know it’s romantic to think about loving someone forever, but when you can actually live forever, a promise like that can become a cage. Besides, do you really want to become a man, or did you just want to express your affection?”

I wanted to respect her feelings, but in order to do that, I needed to figure out exactly what they were.

“I think on some level I’ve always wished I could have been born a boy, but if you asked me if I really wanted to be one, I think I’d be torn,” she admitted.

“Well, I for one love you just as you are. If you were a man, I doubt you’d be this cute.”

This statement earned me another huge hug, which I wasn’t at all unhappy with.

The next morning, the conference resumed. Each of the leaders enjoyed lavish accommodations, complete with rooms for their guards, servants, and anyone else they had brought along in their entourage. After they all woke up, I was showered with compliments and questions about the beds, sheets, and other amenities available in the rooms. Most of the questions were about how they could obtain such things for themselves.

For portable items I could make myself, I could just ask them to have their guards kill some monsters in the dungeon as compensation. I wasn’t trying to take their defenses away, I just wanted some dungeon points for my trouble. There were orders for pillows, blankets, and even soaps and shampoo, but one person in particular was interested in something else.

“Could Shildris and I perhaps use the glowing table in the main conference room?”

Of course Shildris had told her father about it. King Stanrus had a longing look in his eyes, which instantly reminded me of his pathetic display of begging when he’d asked for a Sprigarou familiar. Not wanting to see anything like that ever again, I quickly agreed.

“Breakfast will be served shortly, but after mealtime, I’d be happy to let you use the table,” I told him. “After all, I created it to help deepen connections between people.”

Bistro and the other chefs did an amazing job with breakfast, and all of the leaders attended. We all sat around a great big table and ate together like family. Some had better table manners than others, but overall, it was a lovely meal. Then, as everyone was finishing up, and polite conversations were starting up all around the table, King Stanrus brought up the table again in front of everyone.

“Would it be all right to use the conference room table now?” he asked.

Seriously, stop with the puppy dog eyes. You’re killing me here.

“I suppose we could excuse ourselves. Please continue at your leisure, everyone,” I said, hoping they would just go on enjoying the meal.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make a clean getaway. Sensing that something was amiss, the other leaders asked to accompany us to the conference room to see what the fuss was about. When we arrived, the leaders neatly divided into two camps: the ones who thought the table was interesting at first, but quickly lost interest and went somewhere else...and the ones who got really into it. There was no in-between.

Those that left were mostly the older leaders, who were enamored with the luxurious bathing facilities I’d made available. Those who remained were mostly younger, and they were very excited about the potential of the game table. I’d actually upgraded the entire room earlier, thanks to the points I’d earned by crafting simple items like soap, shampoo, pillows, and even a few mattresses. (When I say I earned the points, I mean that the soldiers guarding the leaders had earned them for me, after negotiations. In other words, I’d bribed—I mean, artfully persuaded the leaders to have their soldiers challenge my dungeon.) So I’d fixed up the room after breakfast. When we arrived, the table was now able to comfortably seat twenty people, though there weren’t many games that many could play at once. The functionality of the table was improved as well, so multiple games could be played simultaneously.

Shildris set to work trouncing her father at all the games I’d taught her to play last night, and I played poker with the remaining leaders. I wasn’t a big fan of gambling, so we didn’t wager with real stakes, just virtual chips. King Doma had a great poker face, and he was really good at bluffing. The others were good, too, but they just weren’t on his level. Unfortunately, I was ridiculously lucky, and it’s difficult to bluff someone when they have the best possible hand. In the end, King Doma ended up conceding just before lunch. I probably could have beaten him in a few more hands, but you never knew how luck would turn. I overheard some of the leaders whispering about how I must have cheated somehow, though, so I decided it would be better to play strategy based games after lunch.

I introduced the leaders to some of my favorite board games, and they took turns playing against me and each other. We had a great time. What about the important business of the conference? As far as I was concerned, this was great for building friendly relations between allied nations. As long as nobody was angry enough to launch an invasion over losing a silly little game, this could only deepen the bonds of friendship and camaraderie between leaders. After dinner and a sumptuous dessert, there were more political discussions. These meetings went very well after the rulers had spent the whole day relaxing and having fun.

There was even a little drinking, but thankfully, nobody got drunk enough to cause problems. Even my royal guards got into the alcohol, which they hardly ever did. Everyone got caught up in the festive atmosphere.

I don’t mean to make it seem like everyone just played around. We still did at least some real work. Territorial disputes and grievances were resolved one after another. We ironed out the finer details of currency minting, valuation, and counterfeit enforcement. Specifically, detecting and confiscating counterfeit currency, and punishing the people who made them would be the responsibility of each individual nation. However, in the event an international counterfeit operation was discovered, we would work together to bring it down. In the case of individuals trying to shave metal from authentic coins, the enforcement would be left to my people exclusively. In other words, if we detected anyone attempting to shave or otherwise tamper with the coins, I could send Irregulars to apprehend them. This applied anywhere in the alliance. I could add an effect to the coins that sent a signal when such attempted tampering took place, so we could pinpoint the perpetrator’s location. Guilty parties would then be put to work exploring the tower dungeons until they learned to earn their money honestly.

Speaking of guilty parties... At one point, King Doma approached me about his brother, Duke Finlaud.

“I’d like to offer him to you,” he said with a dead serious look on his face.

“Come again?”

“I’d like to hand my brother over to you, and you may deal with him as you like.”

“In other words, you’re too softhearted to punish him, and you want me to do it,” I concluded.

“I believe that after you defeated him, my brother truly felt the weight of his actions. He’s had a lot of time to think things over. Please give him the chance to atone. If you still find him unforgivable after that, then please punish him as you see fit.”

I breathed an exasperated sigh, but I agreed to the proposal. “I’ll put him to work farming points in the tower. If he really wants to atone, he can start by earning me some nice things. I’m not going to make it easy for him, and if he tries to escape, I’ll feed him to the Sprigumdrops. They can even eat human waste, so they shouldn’t have a problem with him.”

“He deserves every bit of that harshness,” the king admitted. “I’ll leave him to you.”

So that’s how, by the end of the conference, I ended up with custody of Finlaud, a former duke from the kingdom of Doma. When they brought him to me he looked absolutely dreadful. Pathetic didn’t even begin to describe it. So the first thing was to clean him up.

“Get those chains off of him, and make sure he has a bath. After he’s cleaned up, get him some adventuring gear. I’m putting him to work in the tower dungeon. His meals will be based on his progress. Sleep, too. If he doesn’t earn enough points, he’ll be getting special training before bed. You’ve spent most of your life comparing yourself to your brother, or being compared to him, right? If that’s the case, how about improving yourself as a person before you try to lead anyone?”

The stunned look on Finlaud’s face was priceless, but it didn’t last long. It was replaced by a look of resolve as he nodded in agreement. “I leave myself in your hands,” he said, looking more humble than I’d ever seen him.

“Not that you have a choice, but I like the change in attitude. Now, let’s get to work.”

On my orders, Finlaud entered the tower dungeons, but I used my skills to make sure he fought enemies on his own level. I wasn’t just trying to bully him; it was all to improve his skills and help him surpass his limits. He didn’t complain, and after a while, he started to see serious results. I ended up with more dungeon points too.

Finlaud wasn’t the only person King Doma sent to me. As it turned out, Gin was having trouble adjusting to being back in Doma.

“It just didn’t feel like home anymore,” he admitted. “People I’ve known for years are all total strangers to me now. When I approach them, they regard me with wariness or suspicion. It feels awful.”

“I was afraid of that,” I admitted. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. You were only trying to save me, and I’ll never blame you for that.”

“That’s so sweet. I am sorry to hear you had a rough time, though.”

“It wasn’t all bad,” he said. “Princess Sherin was very excited to hear a Sprigian ambassador was staying in the castle, and we had a lovely conversation. She had so many questions about your culture and people. It was truly a pleasure.”

“Aw, that’s great. I should go see her sometime. I wonder when her next birthday is.”

“I shall inquire about it, and hint that you’d like to be invited to any celebrations for such an event.”

“That sounds fun. I wonder what sort of present would be good.”

“She seems awfully fond of the stuffed bear you gifted her.”

“Hmm. Maybe that little hero could use a mighty steed,” I mused aloud.

Gin chuckled. “I’m sure the princess would be thrilled.”

“By the way, I know it’s not always easy for you around Grimwood, but I’d be happy to talk to you whenever I can, so that you’re not lonely.”

His cheeks and the tips of his ears turned red as I extended the open invitation. He was so cute. “Your Majesty, it would be my honor to enjoy your company.”

That gentle smile on his face is gonna melt my heart. Help!

“A-Anytime.”

Officially, Gin was still an ambassador, but I thought he felt isolated. In Doma, he was a Sprigian ambassador among humans, while in Grimwood, he wasn’t officially treated like a member of the group, since I hadn’t summoned him and he hadn’t sworn his loyalty to me. So I did whatever I could to make him comfortable. He was still really great to talk to. Since he was really good at explaining differences between humans and Sprigians, the ambassador job suited him well, aside from the social issues. As for my romantic feelings...

Even with how they treated him, he remained very attached to Doma. His thoughts were still very human. He had spent around eighty years as a human before he transformed into one of my people, after all. It wouldn’t have been fair to expect him to adopt a new mindset overnight. We had a lot in common, and he definitely met my standards physically. His mentality might have been the greater issue. I thought perhaps we’d be romantically involved later on, just not anytime soon... Eventually, we might even start a little family. Wouldn’t that be something?

That was all stuff for years in the future, though.

For now, I plan to just keep making this world cuter in my own way. There’s still a lot of this world to explore, but I’ve got plenty of time to do it. No rush. I’m just gonna do everything at my own pace.

Anyway, that’s how I died, began my new life in another world, and became the ruler of my own nation. Looking back on it like this sure feels nostalgic, even though it didn’t happen all that long ago. This world can be a savage and cruel place, but I’m dedicated to making it cuter. In this fantasy world, some call me a sovereign; others like to say I’m the Arbiter of Balance. People praise me as the ruler of Grimwood during our biannual conferences, but of all the titles I have, the one I like most is “the Adorable Dungeon Master.”

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The Adorable Dungeon Master Vol 1

Table of Contents

Prologue: Death by Deprivation of Cuteness

Chapter One: The Adorable Dungeon Master Arrives

Chapter Two: The Adorable Dungeon Master Makes Improvements

From Another Point of View Part 1: Hegram

Chapter Three: The Adorable Dungeon Master Takes Prisoners

From Another Point of View Part 2: Gunzar

Chapter Four: The Adorable Dungeon Master Dreams

From Another Point of View Part 3: ???

Chapter Five: The Adorable Dungeon Master Travels

From Another Point of View Part 4: Duke Finlaud

Chapter Six: The Adorable Dungeon Master Waits in Prison

From Another Point of View Part 5: Duke Finlaud Revisited

Chapter Seven: The Adorable Dungeon Master Is Drawn to Cuties

From Another Point of View Part 6: Sedriz

Chapter Eight: The Adorable Dungeon Master Entertains Guests

From Another Point of View Part 7: King Savla Doma III

Chapter Nine: The Adorable Dungeon Master Has a Meeting

From Another Point of View Part 8: Duke Finlaud Once More

Chapter Ten: The Adorable Dungeon Master Takes a Toll

From Another Point of View Part 9: Worgin

Chapter Eleven: The Adorable Dungeon Master Teaches and Learns

From Another Point of View Part 10: King Dalvas Gunzverg

Chapter Twelve: The Adorable Dungeon Master Visits the Royal Capital

From Another Point of View Part 11: Yomas

From Another Point of View Part 12: Baron Sedestin

Chapter Thirteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Gets Involved

From Another Point of View Part 13: King Doma Attends a Presentation

Chapter Fourteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Is Resourceful

Chapter Fifteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Discusses the Future

From Another Point of View Part 14: Princess Shildris of Stanrus

Chapter Sixteen: The Adorable Dungeon Master and the Lord of the Lake

From Another Point of View Part 15: Princess Sherin

Chapter Seventeen: The Adorable Dungeon Master Goes Fishing

Epilogue: The Adorable Dungeon Master Hosts a Conference