The BS Situation of Tougetsu Umidori Vol 3

1
Yakisoba and White Rice

Miiiiin, minminminmin, miii.

The shrill cries of the cicadas echoed all around.

On a midsummer afternoon, a high school girl was walking through a residential neighborhood.

“It’s too hot…,” she groaned, fanning herself with a hand.

She wore a short-sleeved white blouse above a pleated skirt.

Her glossy black hair tumbled all the way to her hips.

She was on the tall side, about 5′7″.

“When did summer get here? I could swear it was only just spring.”

She was talking to herself, holding a half-eaten ice pop. Blue, so likely cream soda flavored.

She must have bought it on the way home from school. The look on her face made it clear the ice pop was the only thing keeping her alive in this weather.

Just then…

—Brr, brr, brr!

“…………Hmm?”

There was a vibration in her skirt pocket, and the girl—Tougetsu Umidori—jumped.

“……?”

Frowning, she reached into her pocket—not with the ice pop hand. She rummaged around a bit and pulled out her cell phone.

Someone was calling.

—The screen read, GRANDMA.

“…………Gack?!”

The moment her eyes registered who was calling, Umidori winced. She stopped dead in her tracks, gaze locked on the screen.

“…………”

Brr, brr, brr.

The phone was still buzzing away, but Umidori just stared at it, making no attempt to answer.

While the girl herself had ceased all motion, the phone showed no signs of doing the same.

“……………!”

How much time passed? A solid twenty seconds? At last, Umidori threw in the towel, tapped the ANSWER button, and put the phone to her ear.

“……H-hello? Grandma?” she said, her voice almost a whisper.

The woman on the other end of the line didn’t even wait for her to finish.

“Listen, Tougetsu. I’ll only say this once.”

The voice of a domineering old lady.

“……………!”

Umidori’s wince turned into a full-on rictus.

She unconsciously clenched her phone.

The ice pop was melting, running down her other hand, but she failed to notice.

“This is not a request or a confirmation, merely a final warning. Do not ask me to repeat it.”

The old lady’s voice was marching right on through Umidori’s ear.

“Show yourself at home this summer. That’s an order.”

“…………”

“If you concoct some flimflammery to get out of it—like you did with Obon and New Year’s—I won’t stand for it. If you’ve no mind to heed my words, suit yourself, but then this living alone thing will come to an abrupt end before the next school term begins.”

“…………”

“It’ll be your choice whether to find a new school for the fall or commute all the way from Himeji. You know I’m not making idle threats.”

“…………………”

“Well, there you have it.”

—Bzzt.

Her grandmother hung up.

She’d ended the call before Umidori had managed any response.

“…………N-now what?” Umidori murmured after a very long silence.

The oppressive heat was now the last thing on her mind.

First, make the yakisoba.

Once the electric griddle is properly warmed up, empty a packet of noodles, add pork, shrimp, and cabbage, and cook a bit.

Next, start mixing the noodles and toppings together. The instrument used here is a flat, metal, wedge-shaped tool called a teko spatula. If you can dual-wield teko, it’s shockingly easy to stir the noodles and toppings together. But of course, you can’t just add the sauce and call it a day. Save the sauce for now.

“Adding it here would make normal yakisoba!” The white-haired girl behind the griddle beamed. She had a bowl in her hand, which she overturned in the air above the frying food.

The white rice in the bowl fell onto the griddle below.

There was a hiss.

Yakisoba and white rice cooked next to each other on the griddle.

“You following along, ladies? Handling the rice correctly is the most critical part of making this dish.”

Even as she spoke, the white-haired girl kept those teko moving, making sure the rice cooked evenly.

She wore a white hoodie with cat ears on it and an apron over that—embroidered with a cat. She was a tiny little thing and appeared to be maybe twelve years old.

“Specifically, how much moisture do you want out of the rice? That’s critical. If you leave too much in, it’ll make everything sticky when you mix it into the yakisoba.”

Shnk shnk shnk shnk.

In time, the cat-eared girl turned her teko, mixing the rice and yakisoba together. Only then did she add the sauce, topping that off with a healing handful of tenkasu.

“All done!”

Clink clink! She tapped the two teko together twice, and then the white-haired girl—Bullshit-chan—let out a boisterous cry.

“Come one, come all! It’s Bullshit-chan’s own sobameshi! Eat up before it gets cold!”

“Woo! I’ve been waiting for this, Bullshit-chan!” Yoshino Nara said, with a cry of delight.

Her expression remained totally blank, but she was humming under her breath, busily moving her share from the griddle to her plate.

Nara split her chopsticks and dug right on in, just as happily.

“……!”

Nara chewed a few times, and her shoulders began to shake.

“……Ahhh, you’re the best, Bullshit-chan. This is the real deal, right outta Kobe’s Nagata! I could not possibly find fault with it.”

“It’s an honor.”

Bullshit-chan bowed her head obsequiously.

“Griddle dishes are not exactly my forte, but if you, of all people, offer your seal of approval, then it does wonders for my confidence.”

“Not at all. It’s exquisite! If I’ve got a friend who can make sobameshi this good, there’s no need to ever go to a restaurant.”

As she spoke, Nara glanced to her side.

“Right? Don’t you think so, Umidori?”

“…………”

“……Umidori?”

“Hrk?!”

Only then did Umidori snap out of her reverie, looking up.

“……Huh? Wh-what? What’s going on?”

“……We’re talking about sobameshi.”

Nara gave her a poker-faced stare.

“What’s up, Umidori? You’re not looking too hot.”

“…………”

She sounded worried, and Umidori looked shifty.

Like Nara, she had a plate in front of her, but she’d yet to move any food onto it. She hadn’t even split her chopsticks.

“……Um,” Umidori said after a long pause. “N-nothing’s wrong, Nara. Just…got a lot on my mind.”

“……Namely?”

“—Oh no, Umidori! You’re not coming down with a summer cold, are you?!” another girl said, leaning in from the side. “If you are, you’ll have to leave. I won’t allow you to infect my Yoshino!”

This girl was a stunning beauty—who looked exactly like Yoshino Nara.

While Nara was perpetually expressionless, this girl always looked cross, her brow permanently creased. She was glaring at Umidori.

“……Now, now, Envy Sakura. There’s no need to be mean,” Nara said, giving her double an emotionless look. “Honestly, why do you have to be so snarky with everyone but me?”

“Heh-heh, I’m not being mean at all, Yoshino. I’m just exercising every caution, looking after you,” Envy Sakura declared. “And on a personal note, I simply can’t abide how much she clings to you.”

“……That’s pretty much your only motive,” Nara said with a sigh, shrugging. She turned back to Umidori, her tone brightening. “Either way, Umidori, I don’t know what you’re fretting about, but if it isn’t a cold, then put it out of your head, and let’s enjoy the meal. After all, it’s the day we’ve been waiting for—July 21! No high school student in Japan meets this glorious occasion with a look of gloom!”

“……………”

Blearily, Umidori shifted her gaze to the digital clock on the tabletop.

The date did say July 21.

The last day of their first school term.

Thus, functionally, the first day of summer vacation.

“Okay, Bullshit-chan! We’ve savored the sobameshi, which means it’s time for okonomiyaki!”

Nara was still in high spirits.

“We swore we’d have an okonomiyaki party to celebrate the end of term, so without the main dish, my stomach will never be satisfied!”

“……Oh, okonomiyaki, right,” Bullshit-chan said, scowling at the griddle. “Nara, I’m afraid that, as much as I’d like to make you some, that’s not currently possible.”

“……? What do you mean?”

“To my chagrin, I forgot to buy a critical ingredient.”

Bullshit-chan looked suitably crestfallen.

“I sent the two of them to the grocery store, but they are taking their sweet time about it.”

Even as she spoke…

There was a click, and the apartment door swung open.

“We’re back!”

“Sorry, it took forever!”

Two more girls stepped in.

One was a tiny little thing with blue pigtails.

The other was equally small, with a dark-green bob.

“Oh! Togari and Saladette!” Bullshit-chan cried, cheering up. “You’re finally back! How long does it take to run to the neighborhood store and back?! You took so long that I had to fill in with sobameshi!”

“……Urgh, I’m so sorry, Bullshit-chan!” wailed the bob-cut girl, Saladette. She put her palms together in apology. “We got the shopping done right away, but Togari insisted we had to swing by the candy store.”

“……Huh? Why candy?”

“She refused to go home without an ice pop.”

“…………Lord.” Bullshit-chan sighed. “Saladette, you can’t let her have dessert before dinner! That’s why I sent you along!”

“……! I—I make no excuses. Togari was dying in the heat, and I took pity on her.”

“……Sounds like an excuse to me.”

Saladette hung her head still further, but here the pigtailed girl—Togari—snorted angrily.

“—Hmph! Cease your nagging! Are you a cat or a mother-in-law?!” she snapped. “You’re the one who forgot to buy seaweed flakes, Bullshit-chan! We’re out here wiping your ass for you! There’s no call to be on our case over a cheap ice po—”

At that point, Togari suddenly trailed off.

Her eyes locked on the girl across the round table—Yoshino Nara.

“……Yoshino!!” Togari cried, overcome with joy. “Yoshinoooo!”

She ran around the table and gave the seated girl a big hug.

“Whoa?! H-hey, Togari?!”

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yoshino! You’re back!”

Togari was rubbing her face against Nara’s modest bosom.

“It’s been sooooo long since I’ve seen you, Yoshino! My mistress before Tougetsu! I missed you!”

“……Ha-ha, you really are a cuddler,” Nara said, sounding somewhat at a loss. But she did give the girl a pat on the head.

“Hey! Yoshino!” Envy Sakura snapped, scowling at the both of them. “I warned you about this! You can’t let this creepy brat get all up in your business! It’s too risky!”

“……Huh?”

“You should be more guarded. She’s a writing implement!”

Envy Sakura’s eyes were like daggers.

“Even as I said it, I realized that accusation made no sense, but it’s a fact! She’s not even a manifest lie! She’s literally transmogrified! You cannot trust her for a second!”

“……Huhh…” Nara sounded quite put out. “No, you’re just being mean, Envy Sakura. I mean, I certainly flipped out when we got back from Asahikawa and were first introduced, but it doesn’t matter if Togari is a pencil or not. She’s adorable! And she totally dotes on me.”

“Yep! I totes dotes on Yoshino!” Togari purred. “Naturally, I am dotiest for Tougetsu, but I remember how much Yoshino cared about me, so you’re in second place forever! Tied with Saladette!”

“Ha-ha, tied with her, am I? That’s an honor.”

“And it goes without saying that Bullshit-chan-san is rock-bottom on my list! And Hurt doesn’t even make it on.”

“……Now, now, Togari. You shouldn’t go around ranking people on lists. It’s rude,” Saladette said, gently chastising her. “……Oh, that reminds me. Where is Hurt?”

She looked around the room.

“Is she not joining the party?”

“……Huh? Saladette, do you have a screw loose?” Envy Sakura scoffed. “If we let her in, we’d have no time for okonomiyaki. That woman’s the antonym of harmony, and she wouldn’t wanna get all chummy in the first place.”

“……Aww, really? That’s a shame. Here we all are together, and we’re leaving her out…but I guess Ryoko’s away for work, too.”

“…………”

Even as the others kicked up a fuss, Umidori just sat there by the table, absently watching.

“……Umidori?” Nara said, picking up on this. “Seriously, what’s wrong? You’re lost in the sauce again.”

“……Mm, no,” Umidori said, shaking her head. “This time, I was getting all emotional. My place is so much livelier now.”

“Uh, so Bullshit-chan first came to Umidori in the middle of April…,” Nara said, tapping a plate now devoid of anything but sauce. “Hard to believe that was only three months ago. It feels like a lot more time has passed.”

Several attendees had already excused themselves from the table.

The living ingredient duo, Togari and Saladette, were off brushing their teeth. They both had small stomachs and had filled up quick, then had gotten very sleepy. They’d already changed into their pajamas and were getting ready for bed.

A few minutes ago, Togari had sleepily knocked a bottle of sauce over onto Envy Sakura, sending the latter rushing into the bathroom. From there, they could faintly hear her gnashing her teeth and wailing, “That garbage writing implement! I’ll make you suffer when Yoshino’s not looking!” and the like; it sounded like it would be quite a while before she came back to the living room.

Which left three girls at the table.

Tougetsu Umidori, Yoshino Nara, and Bullshit-chan.

“That day was one bolt from the blue after another. To think that was no isolated incident, but the first of several such chaotic confrontations…”

“……You can say that again.” Umidori nodded. “The next was over Golden Week, May 3. When Togari first appeared, and Bullshit-chan passed out. The Case of the Vegetable Oil.”

“……Yeah, and it was all over by the time I got back from vacation,” Nara muttered, sounding put out. “Such a shock! I told you over and over not to do anything while I was gone, and you went right out and murdered another lie. And added two more girls to your gaggle!”

“……! I—I swear, I didn’t mean to! That was a complete accident. You know that!”

“……Hmph, be that as it may, the next incident was in June.”

Nara still sounded a tad miffed but moved on.

“This was recent enough that it doesn’t quite feel like the past yet. In June, away from Kobe, we conducted our third fallicide at Nishinomiya-Kitaguchi.”

“……Yeah, that one.” Umidori winced. “It wasn’t as bad as the first two, but we were up against a fairly tricky foe: Utau Gobodou, the expert on maternity music.”

“I never imagined a composer specializing in pregnant-lady-mood boosters would be such an extreme eugenicist. But it is true things weren’t nearly as hairy as the first two fallicides.”

Here, Nara let out an expressionless sigh.

“Still, Umidori, I think that incident led directly to our current predicament.”

“……How so?”

“……I mean, the third fallicide was in June, right?” Nara said, annoyed. “That was right before final exams! If we hadn’t been forced to go up against some batshit crazy maternity music composer…”

“……Then what?”

“……My final exam scores would have been marginally better! Don’t make me spell it out! You’re well aware!”

Nara was waving both hands around like a little kid.

“My parents and teachers have no idea what’s going on here, and the earfuls they gave me feel so unfair!”

“……What are you talking about, Nara?” Umidori said, shaking her head. “Let me be very clear—you’re just making excuses. I mean, all that applied to me as well, and I got through exams unscathed.”

“……! Th-that’s hard to argue with…”

“So, how were your grades, Umidori?” Bullshit-chan asked, looking up from the okonomiyaki. This was the first time she’d spoken in a while. “I gather Nara’s were abysmal, but you got a report at the end-of-term ceremony, too?”

“Yeah, I was ranked third in our year.”

Umidori shrugged, like that was nothing.

“Missed a few in math, so my results weren’t as good as I’d hoped. Guess I’ll have to make up for that in the second term.”

“……Ughhhh! Argh, so jelly! So jelly!” Nara slumped, her voice a groan. “Your grades are always like a sick joke! You could never understand what it feels like to be a have-not! With grades that high, you could share a few of those points with me without breaking a sweat!”

“……That’s not really how test scores work, Nara,” Umidori said, giving her a half-lidded glare. “And I’ll add you really should be studying a lot more. If you just spend a bit of time every day reviewing and preparing, exams really aren’t that difficult.”

“Aughhhhh, no, stop! This is a party! I don’t need a sermon!”

Nara clapped both hands over her ears, drowning Umidori out.

“Also, Umidori, let me be clear: I’m only bad at learning the sort of things they cover in school. Everything else, I may well know more than you.”

“……And by ‘everything else,’ you mean…?”

“For example—”

Nara’s eyes darted around a bit as she began to think. Soon, they fell on the plate in front of her, with the remaining traces of okonomiyaki sauce. “Yes, like that sobameshi! Do you even know how that dish came to be, Umidori?”

“……? Well, no.”

“Sobameshi was invented right here in Kobe!”

“Oh?”

“It’s a local gourmet specialty. Didn’t know that, huh?”

Nara looked quite smug about this trivia.

“The proprietor of a local okonomiyaki shop noticed a customer always brought in a bowl of white rice from home and asked the staff to stir-fry it with the yakisoba. Without an origin story like that, nobody would ever think to fry two starches together on an iron griddle!”

“……Huh, you don’t say. A fascinating tale!”

Bullshit-chan was busy making more okonomiyaki but sounded genuinely impressed.

“But I guess you’ve got a point. You don’t really see sobameshi all that often outside of Kobe.”

“My point exactly! I may not know much about formulas or English grammar, but I’m well-versed in these matters.”

“…………”

Despite Nara’s confidence, Umidori’s expression remained dubious at best.

“Nara, is that even a true story? Is that one I’m safe to share with anyone else?”

“—?! Umidori, you doubt my word?!”

Nara’s shoulders jerked in shock.

“Fine, be that way! If I’m so untrustworthy, go online and fact-check me! To your heart’s content!”

“……Let’s do just that,” Umidori said, nodding gravely. She tore her eyes off Nara and began tapping away on her phone.

“Argh, it’s a bad habit, you know, calling anyone and everyone a liar. There are few women as honest as I am,” said Nara.

“…………”

“So? Find anything, Umidori?”

“……Yeah, got a hit right away,” Umidori said, eyes on her screen. “I found a site on the origins of sobameshi, and it says the following: ‘Sobameshi was born at an okonomiyaki shop where the regulars often brought rice from home and had the staff fry it with their yakisoba.’”

“—! See, like I said!” Nara cried, as if she’d taken the head of a demon. “How dare you doubt my—”

“—But that okonomiyaki shop wasn’t in Kobe.”

“……Oh?”

“Not Kobe. Kakogawa,” Umidori said, quietly reading from her screen. “At least, that’s what this site says. No mention of Kobe anywhere.”

“……………What?” Nara whispered, stunned. “……? W-wait, Umidori, that’s gotta be wrong. I’m sure somebody told me sobameshi comes from Kobe.”

“……Who? Who was that somebody?”

“………………Um.” Nara looked stumped. “……Huh, who was it?”

“…………Nara,” Umidori said, giving her a look of pity.

—Just then.

Brr!

The phone in Umidori’s hand began to vibrate.

“……Eep?!”

She jumped and looked down.

“—Urk!” she croaked, screwing up her face. “Y-you’re kidding?! Don’t call me at this hour!”

“……What’s wrong, Umidori? Who’s that? Work?”

“……No, not work,” Umidori wailed. She got to her feet. “Sorry, gotta take this.”

With that, she scuttled off toward the door, clearly planning to take it in the hall.

“……Umidori?”

“—That’s probably her family,” Bullshit-chan said, seeing Nara’s consternation.

“……Mm?”

“I think Umidori mentioned something about her grandma.”

“……Her grandma?”

“The lady’s been calling a lot, urging her to pay a visit back home in Himeji over summer vacation.”

“……Back home?” Nara was looking even more confused. “I mean, that’s a pretty standard vacation plan…… Are they fighting about it?”

“Yeah, well. Judging from the look on Umidori’s face, that much is obvious.” Bullshit-chan shrugged, not looking up from the griddle. “Nara, how much do you know about her family situation?”

“……Basically nothing,” Nara said, shaking her head. “She’s got a single mother, her relationship with her mother’s family is terrible, and she’s currently living alone… No more than that.”

“Ah-ha. Come to think of it, when I first met Umidori, I gave a brief rundown of her situation while you listened outside the restroom door.

“—‘Tougetsu Umidori, sixteen years old… Born in Kobe’s Chuo ward, you took up residence with your mother’s parents in Himeji at an early age. You returned to Kobe on your own at the start of high school. Your parents are divorced, and your mother is your only family.’”

“……Yeah, I didn’t exactly recollect it verbatim,” Nara said, scratching her cheek. “But if this grandma is calling about it, I can assume Umidori almost never goes back to Himeji.”

“Sounds like she came up with excuses to avoid it at Obon last year and again at New Year’s. And the upshot of that is her grandma’s being extra insistent this time around.”

“……I see,” Nara said, nodding. “I guess she’s Umidori’s legal guardian? I got used to the idea of her living alone and forgot she must have one.”

“Umidori may have her shit together, but she’s still a minor, so it’s hard for her to entirely escape family obligations.

“That said, honestly, I agree that she oughta go home at least once this summer.”

“……? Why’s that?”

“Simple,” Bullshit-chan said, glancing at the door. “Umidori’s mother lives in Himeji. And what kind of daughter doesn’t show her face at least once a year?”

“……………!”

Nara gulped, though her expression never changed.

“………Umidori’s mom.”

That was a thorn in her heart…something that had been nagging at her for a while now.

2
The Past and Kakogawa

Tougetsu Umidori and Bullshit-chan.

Three and a half months had passed since they had first met.

And they’d been living together for that same amount of time.

Two more people had joined their household at the start of May, so four people now called this apartment home. More accurately, there’d been a third resident all along, making a total of five. Still, this third individual rarely emerged from Bullshit-chan’s body, so it was hard to say she really lived with the others. In other words, five girls technically lived there, but functionally, it was only four.

And if four girls lived in the same apartment, there was one inevitable outcome.

An incredible quantity of laundry.

“…………”

One such morning…

Bullshit-chan was in the changing room, scowling.

She was staring at a hamper overflowing with discarded garments.

“…………Sigh.”

Bullshit-chan pulled one piece out of the basket.

“………!”

It was probably a sock.

“Probably,” because it had been yanked off with such slovenly disdain that it had rolled itself up, and the original shape could not be discerned at a glance.

“…………Good God,” Bullshit-chan snapped, dropping the sock.

But it was hardly the only one.

Among the visible clothes in the hamper alone, she could see any number of socks in identical condition.

“……Seriously, ugh!” Bullshit-chan said, sneering at the slobby socks. “How many times have I told them?! Sort your socks out! I can’t take this anymore! Are you even listening?! I’m talking to you!”

She was tapping her own chest.

“Togari! Wake up! Come on out! Togari!”

……Hmm?

A sleepy groan emerged from Bullshit-chan’s chest.

……What is it? I was having a nice nap!

An instant later…

Another girl came wriggling out of Bullshit-chan’s body, landing in front of the hamper.

A blue-haired girl in PJs.

“Hahh! So sleepy… What time is it?” She yawned, covering her mouth with one hand. “Is it breakfast?”

“……No, Togari. I’m afraid that time came and went,” Bullshit-chan said, glaring down at the girl who’d just emerged from inside her—Togari Tsukushigaoka. “It’s much closer to noon. I was planning to start lunch as soon as I got the laundry going.”

“……Uh-huh? Then you could have waited to wake me until lunch was ready,” Togari grumbled, rubbing her eyes. “So? What did you want, Bullshit-chan-san? I was up late last night talking to Saladette, so I’m still very sleepy. I wanna go back to bed.”

“Nope, not happening,” Bullshit-chan snapped. “This is no time to be lazing around inside me! Togari, it’s lecture time.”

“……What about?”

“Look at these socks!”

Bullshit-chan seized a balled-up sock from the hamper.

“Tell me, Togari—you took this off, right?”

“……? Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Then you know what I’m about to say next.”

“……………?”

“This! Is! Not! How! We! Take! Off! Socks!”

One syllable at a time, at the top of her lungs.

“I’ve told you over and over and over not to take them off like this! Why can’t you get that through your thick skull?! You’re driving me up the wall!”

“…………Oh.”

Bullshit-chan was blowing her top, but Togari just nodded sleepily.

“Sorry, I guess? Bullshit-chan-san, I must have been pretty out of it…”

“No excuses! I’m not going to accept that defense anymore! I’m at the end of my rope!”

“…………”

“Do you hear me? I’ve gotta unroll these when I do the laundry! And I do it every time, for you!”

Bullshit-chan was huffing and puffing. She reached into the hamper and grabbed another sock.

“See? This is one of Umidori’s socks!”

She shook it, dangling it before Togari’s eyes.

“Very different from yours, Togari! She took it off clean, respecting who has to wash it! Not just her, either! Saladette does the same thing! Togari, you’re the only one who can’t seem to remember!”

“……………”

“I know you’ve been flesh and blood for very little time, so I don’t want to lambast you like this! But Saladette’s worked it out! Aren’t you ashamed to be desocking yourself like a little kid?!”

“…………Uh, like I said, my bad,” Togari replied, clearly not meaning it at all. She sounded outright annoyed. “Hmm? Hey, where’s Tougetsu?”

“……Mm?”

“I can’t feel her presence anywhere in the apartment.”

“……Oh.” Bullshit-chan nodded. “Umidori’s not here right now. She went out with Nara.”

“……She did?!”

“Nara rang her up out of the blue, and they went to get shaved ice nearby.”

“……………!”

That banished the last bit of grogginess from Togari’s eyes.

“Th-they what?! I would have loved to tag along! Why didn’t anyone wake me?!”

“……Don’t ask me.” Bullshit-chan shrugged. “I did call your name once before she left, Togari. It’s your own fault for being such a sleepyhead.”

“……?!”

Togari shot Bullshit-chan a look of contempt.

“……Ugh, you are one useless cat. You never wake people when they want you to, but you go all out when there’s no reason to be up.”

“……Togari, Umidori is beside the point right now,” Bullshit-chan said, eyes half-lidded. “You’ve got exactly one task on your plate. Understand? Take these inside-out socks and turn them all right-side—eep!”

She was unable to complete her lecture.

Because Togari whipped off her pajama top and threw it in Bullshit-chan’s face.

“……?! Wh-what the heck, Togari? What was that for?!”

“……Nothing. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, so I thought I’d take a morning shower.”

Togari was already half-naked, and she hooked her fingers into her shorts.

She shot the laundry machine a bleary look.

“You’re about to run a load? Then put these in, too.”

“………!”

Togari’s behavior caught Bullshit-chan flat-footed, leaving the girl soundlessly flapping her lips.

Then the pajama shorts hit her in the face.

“………!”

They fell to the ground, and Bullshit-chan’s shoulder quivered, her gaze on the shorts.

“Argh, you took your underwear off with them again! I’ve told you over and over and over and over again not to do that!”

“What is your problem, Bullshit-chan-san? It is far too early for you to be such a nag.” Togari sighed, exasperated. “If you make that scowly face all the time, your patented phony—er, cutesy vibe will be ruined forever. C’mon, smile!”

“…………”

“……? Bullshit-chan-san?”

“Togari,” the other girl said, slumping over. “Can you just…stop that?”

“……Stop what?”

“It’s been ages. Let me off the hook!”

Bullshit-chan’s smile was a rictus.

“How long are you gonna hold that grudge? You know I regret it! I had no idea you were sentient, and I’m super sorry I told Umidori to throw you out!”

“…………”

“It’s all hugs for Umidori, Saladette, and Nara…but you still find the slightest excuse to come after me or to push me away. It’s super depressing. Can’t we just get along?”

“………………”

Bullshit-chan trailed off, and Togari gave her a long, serious look.

“……Why are you talking so weird?”

“……Huh?”

“‘Can’t we just get along?’ Bullshit-chan-san, you would never say that,” Togari spat. “It’s like you’re doing a bad imitation of Tougetsu! Extremely irritating. Don’t do it again.”

“……………Huh?!”

Bullshit-chan looked genuinely horrified.

“Wh-what the…? Don’t be ridiculous! How dare you, Togari!”

She was waving both hands around, yelling.

“I’m deliberately talking like this for you, Togari!”

“…………”

“My natural speech patterns are a lot like yours! But you picked a whole-ass bone about it! ‘We sound too much alike, you’ve gotta change how you talk!’”

“……I stand by that point.” Togari nodded. “I cannot bear to have a single trait in common with your poser ass, Bullshit-chan-san. That makes it seem like I’m also full of baloney! You and your cat hoodie wanna act all cutesy-poo, then why not start talking in cat puns?!”

“……………!”

Togari’s onslaught was so full-bore that Bullshit-chan could only stand there quivering.

With her clothes gone, Togari spun around and threw herself into the bathroom.

“……What? What? Why, you— What is her problem?!”

Bullshit-chan stomped her feet, howling with fury.

“I-if the way we talk is actually an issue, then why aren’t you the one who makes the change? I talked this way first! You’re the Johnny-come-lately!”

Tap tap tap tap.

A pleasant sound filled the room.

Someone typing on a laptop.

It was Bullshit-chan, sitting at the round table.

“……………”

The girl was casting a super-intense stare at the screen.

She had a web browser open; clearly, she was researching something online.

“……? What are you up to, Bullshit-chan-san?” Togari asked, leaning over her shoulder.

She had a towel hanging over her shoulders but had not yet put any clothes on.

“……Togari!” Bullshit-chan said, giving her nudity a baleful glare. “You’re wandering around in your birthday suit again? And you haven’t even dried your hair…”

“Ugh, who cares? Privacy of our own home.”

Togari brushed the girl off and put her hands on Bullshit-chan’s shoulders.

“Answer the question! Are you doing some online shopping? Cause I could use some new clothes.”

“……You have the most nerve, Togari.” Bullshit-chan sighed. Togari was shaking her by the shoulders. “I’m afraid I’m not shopping but trying to figure out something that was bugging me.”

“……Bugging you how?”

Togari blinked, looking closer at the screen.

At the words in the search box.

SOBAMESHI ORIGINS

“…………Sobameshi?” Togari asked, cocking her head.

“Yeah. I think you were off brushing your teeth, so you didn’t hear this part,” Bullshit-chan said, scowling at the screen. “During the okonomiyaki party, Nara claimed sobameshi was a Kobe specialty.”

“……That’s the dish you made early in the evening where you stir-fried white rice and yakisoba together, right?” Togari asked. “Uh… Is that a Kobe thing?”

“……That’s the question,” Bullshit-chan said, scrolling through the search results.

She clicked a link, and the screen shifted to a webpage.

SOBAMESHI: A LOCAL CULINARY LEGEND, BORN RIGHT HERE IN KAKOGAWA

“……Hngg?” Togari gave the website a befuddled look. “Uh, wait, Bullshit-chan-san. This says Kakogawa, not Kobe.”

“…………”

“Kakogawa’s the city next to Kobe, right?”

“……Yeah, it is.” Bullshit-chan nodded. “Umidori looked this particular site up during the okonomiyaki party. At the time, we concluded that Nara had just been wrong about sobameshi coming from Kobe.”

“……But?”

“………”

Here, Bullshit-chan turned to look Togari right in the eye.

“At the time, I thought it made sense. Nara made a mistake, end of story.”

She shook her head, her voice dropping to a mutter.

“But something doesn’t sit right. It feels like I’m missing something.”

“Huhh? You wanna live alone?!”

Her voice was very loud.

A woman’s shrill screech.

“Don’t be a damn fool. You’re a child; it can’t be done. Pull the other one!”

“…………!”

Tougetsu Umidori was kneeling on the tatami across from the bellowing lady, flinching with every shout.

This was a very large room, using an absurd number of tatami mats.

Beneath the high ceiling, a number of men and women sat in a circle.

“Do you even realize the expenses involved? That ain’t something a little girl can cover by working part-time around high school!”

“……I—I know, Auntie,” Umidori said, her voice quivering. “I’m only fifteen, so there’s no way I can cover all my living expenses. That’s why I’m asking you for a favor.”

“……Huhh? A favor?”

“I—I need a loan. Until I finish high school.”

Umidori sounded ready to cry but was hanging in there, saying her piece.

“I’ll pay it all back once I’m grown up. With interest! I swear! I-I’ll sign a contract if you want…!”

“……Are you stupid?” the woman growled. “You want me to loan you money? Poppycock! Why should I have to do that just so you can live alone?!”

“…………!”

“—Mm, Tougetsu, let’s start with the reason, shall we?”

A third voice cut in from the side.

This speaker was male.

“Forget whether we’ll allow it or not—the request itself makes no sense. Why would you even want to live alone? Aren’t there any high schools you could attend from here?”

“……That’s not why, Uncle,” Umidori said, shaking her head. “I—I can’t stand living in Himeji, with all of you.”

“………Oh?” The man’s voice got real quiet.

But before he could say anything else…

“Tougetsu! Shut your damn mouth!” the woman screeched again. “Wh-who do you think you are? After all we’ve done for you? You, a freeloader?! You have the nerve to say you hate living here so much you have to move out?!”

“…………”

“Did you forget how you’d have been dead in a ditch six years ago if I hadn’t taken you in? You and your piece-of-shit mother?”

“…………!”

“……I see,” the man muttered, as calm as the woman was hysterical. “Very well. If that’s how you feel, I’m not about to argue. You’re free to form your own opinion about us. And I’m not about to tell you to hide those feelings—I know perfectly well you can’t.”

He spat those last words out.

“Five years of living with you has proved your condition isn’t just in your head. We know better than anyone what a creepy kid you are.”

“…………”

“But that’s not how society works, Tougetsu. You can’t just move out because you hate your family—that’s a child’s logic.

“We’d be making a high school girl live all on her own—did you even consider how that would make us look? What people would say?”

“…………”

“And don’t even think about saying you’ll skip high school and work full-time. We already let that happen once, and it’s never happening again.”

“…………”

“Do you get what I’m saying? You aren’t like your mother. You’re not that dumb.”

“……Uncle, I just—”

“—I think it’s super mean, Tougetsu,” said a new voice. “You’re gonna move out and leave your mother here? You wanna live alone and ditch her?”

A young girl’s voice, dripping with spite.

Far younger than the other two.

Likely Umidori’s age or a bit younger.

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Tougetsu, you’re so cruel! I never thought my cousin had a heart made of ice! No love for your mother at all? Even if she is just a useless husk! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

“……Nangetsu,” Umidori groaned, watching the girl laugh merrily.

“Either way, that’s the end of this, Tougetsu,” the man said, his tone brooking no argument. “When you said you had something to discuss and gathered everyone together—I wondered what it could be, but it was just a load of hogwash. Wait until you graduate high school at least. We don’t have time to listen to a child’s daydreams.”

“……! U-Uncle, wait!” Umidori cried, clearly summoning her last reserves of courage. “I—I know it’s a lot to ask, I do! But I really have to do this!”

“Be quiet. Nothing you say will change the answer. No matter how much you hate it, you’re living here for three more years.”

“………!”

“—Let her go.”

Just then—

A dignified voice drifted from the back of the room, changing the whole tone.

“……Huh?” Umidori’s head snapped up. “Grandma?”

“It’s fine with me, Tougetsu. You want to move out, then go right ahead.”

A strong, elderly voice.

She wasn’t yelling over Umidori or trying to intimidate anyone. Her voice wasn’t especially loud, either; yet oddly enough, that alone made all who heard it tense up.

“Hah? Mom?! What are you saying?!”

“R-right! We can’t possibly let this happen!”

The man and woman both started yelling at her.

“I didn’t ask for your input,” the old woman said. “This is my house. It’s my decision how we handle Tougetsu. I won’t hear a word otherwise.”

“…………!”

“There’s no law against a high school girl living alone, is there?”

That silenced them both.

“Living three years with someone who doesn’t want to be here would just be depressing for all of us. And I fundamentally don’t give a fig if Tougetsu lives here or not.”

“But now she’s telling you to come home,” Nara said.

“……Mm-hmm.”

Umidori managed a listless nod.

“It’s only technically my home. I moved in when I was ten and out when I was fifteen. I only lived there five years.”

They were at a table by the window of a restaurant, facing each other.

On the table were two heaps of shaved ice in glass bowls.

Umidori had gone with Blue Hawaii, and Nara with strawberry.

“Like I said, I lived in Himeji with my uncle’s family, and we did not get along.

“My uncle, his wife, and their daughter—they were all really hard to deal with. For different reasons…”

“……Oh?”

“My aunt’s a huge nag, my uncle’s just a creep, and my cousin’s a classic mean girl.”

Umidori was stirring her Blue Hawaii around with a spoon, looking depressed.

“Ah. Well, if you’re being that blunt, they must be pretty bad. The story you told already suggested they were a nightmare.”

“They’re awful! I’d rather go the rest of my life without seeing them again, but I guess that’s too much to ask for…”

Umidori began shoveling shaved ice into her face, trying to cool off the fires of anger inside.

“……It does explain some things,” Nara admitted. “I’ve been curious about your backstory for a while. Not a lot of girls our age live alone. I wasn’t sure if it was something I was allowed to poke my nose into, so I never did.”

“Yeah… I can see why you’d wonder.” Umidori nodded, finishing the last bite. “Sorry, Nara. It took me too long to open up.”

“That’s nothing to apologize for,” Nara said, shaking her head. “I only made a point of avoiding the topic early on; the better I got to know you, the less it mattered. Honestly, I completely forgot about it.

“So, I get that you can’t stand your uncle’s family, but what about this grandma of yours? She as bad as the other three?”

“……Good question,” Umidori said, searching for the right phrase. “She’s…terrifying.”

“……Terrifying?”

“Grandma’s got this aura. It’s like she dominates everyone around her. She almost never cracks a smile, but she doesn’t get mad or sad, either. She just always has her lips pursed, glowering in the back.”

“……Like a samurai?”

“Even when I was living there, we rarely spoke to each other. So if I’m honest, it’s less that I don’t like her than that I don’t really know her.”

“……I get that. And this scary grandmother called you out of nowhere a few days ago?” Nara said, folding her arms. “What’ll happen if you stand her up?”

“No kidding, she’ll have me dragged back to Himeji,” Umidori said. “I’m sure of it. When that lady means business, she means business. Crying and wailing won’t do me any good.”

“……So you’ll have to transfer out?” Nara sounded rather anxious. “You’re gonna leave school?”

“……Grandma did say I can commute from Himeji,” Umidori admitted. “But that’s not reasonable. Kobe and Himeji might as well be different prefectures.”

“……Fair.”

Her expression never shifting, Nara let out a little chuckle.

“Before you worry about school, you’ve gotta worry about Bullshit-chan and company. You’re not exactly telling the fam you’re living with them, right?”

“……N-no, how would I even begin? They all look underage! And them not being human just makes it worse.”

“……So standing up this final warning really isn’t an option.”

“……No.”

Umidori hung her head.

The conversation died, a silence settling over the table.

“…………”

Umidori’s head was down, and Nara was watching her, expressionless.

Nara’s shaved ice was getting pretty melty, but she’d never had any real interest in it and wasn’t about to start eating now.

“……So, Umidori,” she said, eyes still locked on her. “Since the subject’s come up, I’m gonna go ahead and ask: What’s up with your mom?”

“……Huh?”

“That house has your grandma, your uncle’s family…and your mom, right? You don’t get along with the others…but do you have issues with her, too?”

“………………”

Umidori did not answer that inquiry immediately.

It was like this was the last question she’d expected.

“……Um,” she said after a while, looking lost. “I love my mom. But I don’t really know how she feels about me.”

“……Meaning?”

“What it sounds like. I don’t really know her anymore.”

“……………?”

“When I was in Himeji, I spoke to her even less than I spoke to Grandma. I don’t even remember the last time we really talked. It was probably years ago, back before we moved to Himeji—when it was just the two of us.”

“……How do you go that long without speaking?”

“Mom’s in no condition for a chat.” Umidori managed a feeble smile. “It’s my fault, too. She’s all messed up.”

“……Oh?”

“Living with a kid who can’t lie just wore her out. She hasn’t worked for ages now. That’s why she’s convalescing in her mother’s house.”

“……………”

Nara had no words, and Umidori sighed.

“……That’s why I’m so against it,” she said. “She’s a bigger factor in my leaving than my uncle’s family ever was. If I’m around, it just makes things worse for her, right? That’s why I don’t wanna go back. Being face-to-face with my mother is just depressing.”

“………Umidori.”

“……But! Talking like that won’t get me anywhere!”

Crack!

Umidori slapped her own cheeks, trying to pep herself up.

“Okay, hashing this out with you got me unstuck. I can do this. I can go home!”

“……Oh?”

“It’s depressing as all get-out, but it’s real. Fretting over it is just a waste of time.”

Umidori did look like she’d worked through it.

“Thanks a lot, Nara. You invited me here because you were worried and thought I could use someone to listen, right?”

“……Well, I guess.” Nara nodded awkwardly. “Are you really going, Umidori? All alone? Even though you really don’t want to?”

“Yep, I said I would. I plan to spend a single night and come right on back.”

Umidori still had a smile on her face.

“That house in Himeji may be like a bed of nails, but I can endure that torture for a single night! I’m just gonna tell myself it’s a training exercise! It’ll make me stronger!”

“…………”

“……? Nara?” Umidori asked, realizing how quiet her friend was. “Something wrong?”

“……Listen, Umidori,” Nara said, catching her eye again. “Is there any way I can tag along?”

“……………Huh?”

Umidori gaped at her.

Nara kept talking.

“I’d like to meet you mom. Can I?”

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

The sound of typing filled the studio apartment even as the evening sun streamed through the window.

“…………”

Bullshit-chan was still on that laptop.

She was peering at the screen as she typed, still taking this very seriously.

“…………Yeah, I’m sure of it.”

—Click.

As the words crossed her lips, the door swung open.

“I’m home, Bullshit-chan!” “I’m with her!”

In came Tougetsu Umidori and Yoshino Nara.

“……Oh, you’re both here,” Bullshit-chan said, looking relieved. “You’re finally home! I’ve missed you so. You were ignoring my texts!”

“Sorry, Bullshit-chan. We ran a few errands after the shaved ice shop,” Umidori said, taking her shoes off. “When I finally noticed your texts, I couldn’t believe my eyes! What is this?!”

“……………”

In lieu of an answer, Bullshit-chan looked at the phone on the table next to her.

The screen showed the message app, open to a chat with Tougetsu Umidori.

And the text at the very bottom:

Emergency! When you see this message, come straight home! Bring Nara with you!

“……I take it you didn’t use the word emergency lightly?” Nara said. Her shoes off, she stepped up onto the flooring. “And you summoned me here; I couldn’t exactly ignore your request, so I tagged along.”

“……Thanks, Nara. I owe you one.”

“It’s fine. I didn’t exactly have other plans.”

Nara fluttered a hand, then shot Bullshit-chan a look.

“So? Get to the point, Bullshit-chan. What’s the emergency?”

“……Fair enough,” the cat-eared girl said, turning her gaze to one side. “I’d suggest you wash your hands and take a seat at the table. This isn’t something you wanna be standing for.”

“……Well, that sure sounds dramatic,” Nara said, concern in her voice.

She and Umidori swung by the washroom sink, then came back and sat down at the round table.

Bullshit-chan was sitting with her back to the front door. Umidori sat across the table on her right, and Nara on the left, surrounding the table.

“Okay, let me begin,” Bullshit-chan said once they were both settled in. “First, let me start by saying the situation is already pretty dang dire.

“Time is of the essence. Honestly, the fact that I let things get to this state without noticing the issue is a painful blunder. I have been bested. But there is no use crying over spilled milk. What matters is how we tackle the problem.”

“…………Um,” Nara said, reeling from this stream of words. “……? Bullshit-chan, where’s this coming—?”

“Incidentally, Nara,” Bullshit-chan cut her off. “Do you remember what you said at our okonomiyaki party?”

“……Huh?”

“That night, you shared a few facts about sobameshi with Umidori.”

“……? I did?”

Bullshit-chan was going too fast for her, and Nara tilted her head. It took her several seconds to catch up.

“……Oh, you mean its place of origin?”

Once Nara caught up, she deflated.

“Yeah, I said that, but so what? I’d rather forget the whole thing.”

“……Whatever for?”

“Do I have to explain? I embarrassed myself. I was so confident that sobameshi was a Kobe dish, and then it turns out it was from Kakogawa all along? Boy, was I red. Not often I screw up that bad.”

“……Ah-ha. So you think you were wrong,” Bullshit-chan said, nodding ominously. “Nara, perhaps sobameshi turned out not to be from Kobe. But flip the idea—is there any grounds by which you can say anything came from Kobe specifically?”

“……………Huh?” Nara blinked at her, even more lost. “……? Wh-what kind of question is that? What are you even talking about?”

“Come, Nara, don’t overthink it. Just answer the question. Nara, you were born and raised in Kobe. A pure Kobe girl. It should be a trifle for you to name three or four local Kobe delicacies.”

“……Off the top of my head?” Nara said, folding her arms. Expressionless. “Well, I guess I’d start with bokkake, then ikanago no kugini, and we can hardly leave out Arima Onsen’s tansan senbei. And if we’re counting unusual platings, I’m pretty sure only Kobe serves gyoza with miso tare.”

“……! Wow! I can’t believe you just rattled that all off, Nara!” Umidori said.

The girl hadn’t stumbled over her words once.

“I definitely couldn’t answer that easily. You really are a pure Kobe girl, Nara!”

“……Heh-heh, I suppose I am.” Nara puffed herself up. “Like I said, I may not have great grades, but I do know other things. Even if I turned out to be wrong—”

“No, Nara,” Bullshit-chan said, cutting her off. “I’m afraid you’re still wrong.”

“……Huh?”

“All four dishes you named…bokkake, ikanago no kugini, tansan senbei, and gyoza with miso tare—not one of those comes from Kobe.”

“…………Huh?”

“Those are all from elsewhere. I hate to put it this way, but Nara, you are sorely misinformed.

“At least, that’s what it says on this website.”

Clink!

Bullshit-chan spun the laptop around.

The screen was now facing away from her and toward the other girls.

The text at the top of said screen read:

KAKOGAWA CITY

An official government site.

To the left of the header was the city crest: three lines (the character for river) in a circle.

It represented the Kako river.

“……Kakogawa?” Umidori whispered. “……Uh, huh? Kakogawa? Why Kakogawa?”

“This is the elsewhere I’m talking about, Umidori,” Bullshit-chan said, tapping the top of the screen with her finger. “This is the official Kakogawa site, and it has a section on culture and traditions. It makes things very clear.

“‘Our Kakogawa is a culinary city, unmatched by any other part of the nation.’ ‘Its representative dishes include bokkake, ikanago no kugini, tansan senbei, gyoza with miso tare, and sobameshi.’ ‘These specialties are all so good that you’ll have to try them when you visit Kakogawa. ♪’”

“…………”

“Now then. What do you make of that, Nara?”

“…………!”

Nara’s poker face never broke—but her shoulders quivered. “Wh-what the…? Kakogawa? Kakogawa?”

“…………”

“N-no, no, Bullshit-chan! You’ve gotta be kidding. I mean…we just talked about this the other day! Sobameshi is their whole thing!”

“……Yes, and what’s wrong with that?” Bullshit-chan asked in a level tone. “It’s simple enough. Their thing isn’t just sobameshi. It’s also bokkake, ikanago no kugini, tansan senbei, and gyoza with miso tare—all the dishes you were convinced were from Kobe. Turns out, they’re all from Kakogawa instead. Nothing wrong with that.”

“…! Th-that makes no sense! Something’s clearly very wrong here!” Nara wailed, shaking her head. “You’re telling me everything I thought was a Kobe dish is actually from Kakogawa?! Th-that’s ridiculous! That can’t be a coincidence! And I hate to be this way…”

Here, Nara’s voice cracked. She was getting really worked up.

“But of all places, Kakogawa? Kako-freaking-gawa? No way they’ve got multiple local dishes! It’s Kakogawa!”

“……Uh, um.” Umidori seemed actively appalled by Nara’s vehemence. “H-hang on, Nara, now you’re just pissing off Kakogawa natives. I don’t see what’s odd about it…? Even Kakogawa’s gotta have a few local dishes.”

“—No, Umidori, I happen to agree with Nara here,” said Bullshit-chan.

“……Oh?

“I have nothing against Kakogawa itself. One dish Nara thought was Kobe-born turning out to be from Kakogawa is totally normal. But all five? Forget coincidence, that’s in the realm of the impossible.

“But I doubt the Kakogawa official site would just make things up. And I’ve searched any number of unofficial sites, and they all agree. Every last dish Nara thought was from Kobe is now from Kakogawa instead.

“In other words, something that is clearly not true has somehow been turned into the truth.”

“…………”

“If I put it like that, Umidori, I assume you catch my drift?”

“……You don’t mean…” Umidori swallowed hard. “Wait. This is all the work of a lie?”

“—Indeed. Hard to believe, perhaps.” Bullshit-chan shrugged. “But there you have it. Umidori, Nara—a new Beliar is out there, stealing Kobe’s gourmet dishes.”

“The only victim here is the city of Kobe,” Bullshit-chan declared. “I was curious, so I dug deeper, but no other municipality in Hyogo Prefecture is affected. Izushi soba is still from Izushi. Botan nabe is still from Tamba-Sasayama. Those local specialties are unaffected. They haven’t been absorbed into Kakogawa. I checked the whole nation, and only Kobe is being victimized.

“And at the moment, not one human out there seems concerned about this. At least online, all traces of Kobe’s dishes coming from Kobe have completely vanished.”

“…………!”

Umidori clapped her hands over her mouth in shock.

“……Y-you’re kidding! Kakogawa stole all of Kobe’s cuisine? That’s crazy!”

“……You hardly seem shaken enough, Umidori. If we had just met, I’d expect you to be this nonchalant, but after three fallicides, I find your response disturbing.

“No matter how ridiculous the lie is, a Beliar can make it real. That is why manifest lies are so terrifying—a fact you should be well aware of.”

“…………!”

“……W-wait, Bullshit-chan,” Nara spluttered. “But what happened to the original Kakogawa dishes?”

“……Mm?”

“I—I mean, they must have had one!”

Nara tapped a finger to her uncreased brow.

“Um, they had that thing where they put beef cutlets on white rice and then pour demi-glace sauce over it. What was that called?”

“……You mean katsumeshi?” Umidori asked, turning towards her.

“—! Yes, that’s it, Umidori! I’m pretty sure that dish originated in Kakogawa.”

“……It did. Nara, and I looked that up as well.” Bullshit-chan nodded gravely. “And katsumeshi is still, as ever, a Kakogawa dish. It has not been ceded to other cities. It’s right there on the official PR page, next to sobameshi, bokkake, ikanago no kugini, etc. A Kakogawa specialty.”

“……! Th-that’s not even fair!” Nara slapped the floor, outraged. “They get to steal another city’s dishes and keep their own? The nerve!”

“……I know how you feel, Nara. But there’s no use blaming Kakogawa or its citizens. This is entirely this single Beliar’s fault.”

Bullshit-chan was clearly trying to talk Nara down.

“At any rate, right now, we know far too little. What I am about to say is pure conjecture, so bear that in mind.

“First, the odds are high that the Beliar is a Kakogawa native or someone with deep ties to the city. A Kakogawa patriot. For the sake of convenience, let’s call them the Kakogawa Beliar.”

“……The Kakogawa Beliar,” Umidori echoed, chewing over the phrase. “We live in Kobe. They’re in the next city over…”

“Looking at the facts alone, the only oddity so far is that Kakogawa has become a culinary hot spot. Only someone possessed by hometown pride could have told a lie that meaningless.

“And…this Kakogawa Beliar not only has an abiding love for Kakogawa but also a massive grudge against Kobe.”

“……A grudge against Kobe?”

“Otherwise, they wouldn’t be targeting Kobe with such precision. That’s the only reason Izushi soba and botan nabe remained unaffected. But why do they hate Kobe? We’ll have to ask the Beliar.”

“…………”

“Either way, now that we’ve discovered this lie, we cannot afford to sit back. It’s a stroke of luck we were able to notice anything amiss. As the falsification continues to set in, even we will forget how the world used to be. Then we really will be out of options.”

“……But, Bullshit-chan, what would actually happen then?” Umidori asked anxiously. “I have no clue how to go about defeating the craziest lie we’ve heard yet!”

“……Don’t worry about that, Umidori,” Bullshit-chan said, tapping her chest. “This Beliar may be an oddball compared to the previous ones, but that just means we’ve gotta take an equally odd approach.”

“……Odd how?”

“We’ll make a video,” Bullshit-chan said, grinning impishly. “And use that video to bait the Kakogawa Beliar into a trap.”

“……A video? What kind of video?”

“……Come, Umidori, I’m sure you’ve heard of them. The same type of video I regularly upload to that video site!”

“……!” Umidori gasped. “……Oh? B-by video, you mean the Bullshit-channel?!”

“—Heh-heh, exactly that, ladies!” Bullshit-chan turned her smile to Umidori and Nara in turn. “They mess with Kobe, I bring the hammer. Summer vacation may have just begun, but it’s time for our fourth fallicide!”

3
Himeji and the Former Princess

“Still, it’s a real horror story.” Nara shrugged, moving zero facial muscles. “Kobe’s most famous dishes, stolen by Kakogawa, with us none the wiser. Thank goodness we noticed; if the falsification had progressed any further, we might have been unable to perceive the issue at all.

“On any normal day, it would have been impossible to convince me that sobameshi comes from Kakogawa. Yet, until Bullshit-chan revealed the truth, I didn’t even doubt it. I was convinced! The Kakogawa Beliar is a formidable foe.”

“……Are they? I can’t shake the impression they’re just an idiot,” Umidori said, tilting her head. “I mean, I was surprised to hear about it, but rationally speaking, it’s a baffling choice. What good does swiping Kobe dishes and making them Kakogawa dishes do anyone?”

“Not even worth asking. This scumbag wants to turn Kakogawa into one of Japan’s top culinary destinations.” Nara was spitting her words. “This Beliar loves Kakogawa more than anything and hates Kobe more than anyone—typical Kakogawa native, really. Those bastards would do anything to advance their ambitions.”

“……Ambitions? They have those? Enough to steal local dishes?”

“—Well, that said, there’s no use dwelling on it. Bullshit-chan’s busy with fallicide prep, and until she’s done, there’s not much we can do.”

Nara patted Umidori on the shoulder.

“So let’s forget about the Kakogawa Beliar for now and make the most of summer vacation! Shame Bullshit-chan can’t tag along.”

“…………”

“……Mm? What’s wrong, Umidori?”

“……Just,” Umidori said, giving her an anxious look. “You sure you don’t mind, Nara?”

“……Don’t mind what?”

—Their conversation was taking place neither in their high school classroom, nor in Umidori’s apartment.

They were on a train.

The red seats were distinctive, giving the car a rather retro vibe.

“Next stop, Himeji! Himeji!”

“…………?” Even as the announcer spoke, Nara shot Umidori a puzzled look—without actually changing her expression, naturally. “What, should we have taken JR instead of the local lines? It might take longer, but that’s part of the fun of traveling.”

“……Not my concern.”

Umidori seemed at a loss, her eyes trained on a spot above Nara’s head.

A large suitcase was stashed atop some netting near the ceiling.

The piece of luggage was a bit too large for just hitting up town; clearly, she’d packed for a few days’ visit.

“……Oh,” Nara said, finally catching Umidori’s drift. “I see, you’re still stuck on that. You sure don’t know when to let things go.”

She let out an exasperated—if poker-faced—sigh.

“Umidori, how many times do we have to have this conversation? How often do I have to solemnly swear I’m here of my own accord before you believe me?”

“……Th-that’s easy for you to say, Nara.” Umidori shifted, clearly unsure of herself. “But I just can’t shake the idea that you’re forcing yourself to come.”

“……Then what do you want me to do, pick up this suitcase and turn back to Kobe? Even though I’ve already informed my parents I’ll be staying the night?”

“……Well, no.”

“……See? So stop rehashing it, Umidori!”

Nara sighed again, saw Umidori squirm anxiously, and put both hands on her friend’s shoulders.

“I’ve come this far, so I’m not about to turn back. Let’s stop fussing over what we can’t fix and try to make the most of our Himeji vacation!”

“I’ve been to Himeji a few times before…”

A while later…

They were on the dining floor of a department store near Himeji Station.

At a booth in a restaurant, Nara was elegantly sipping tea.

“But every time I reach Himeji Station, I think the same thing. ‘Himeji Castle is way too close to the station.’”

There was an empty plate in front of her with traces of omelet rice and demi-glace sauce.

“Also, the streets around here are so fancy-looking. Very metropolitan. There’s a good reason why they shoved Nishinomiya and Amagasaki out of the way and declared themselves the number two city in Hyogo Prefecture.”

“That depends on the part of town,” Umidori said. She was still eating, scooping spoonfuls of her gratin. “The farther you get from the main station, the more pastoral things get. You’ll see once we get to where we’re going.”

“Makes sense. I guess Kobe’s like that, too. Where we live, near the mountains, it gets a whole lot less urban.”

Nara nodded to herself, eyes on the streets of Himeji outside the window.

“So, how are you feeling, Umidori? It’s been a year and a half since you were last here. Did you miss the place at all?”

“……Nope, not in the slightest,” Umidori said. “My family might live here, but I was only with them a few years; it never felt like home. I have no good memories associated with this city, so how am I supposed to miss the thing?”

“……Fair enough. Every part of this homecoming is a downer, huh?” Nara let out an expressionless chuckle. “But this time, things should be a little easier. Your uncle and his immediate family were the biggest problem, and all three of them are out of town.”

“……Mm, that’s true.”

Umidori nodded a bit listlessly.

“I specifically chose this time to visit. Only my mom and grandma will be home,” she clarified.

“That’s good news, right? From what you told me, I didn’t think I’d exactly like them, either.

“In which case, we’ve just gotta get along with this intimidating grandma. No problem there. I’ve got a pretty thick skin! And I know enough manners to handle a one-night—”

At this point, Nara suddenly clammed up.

Her gaze wasn’t on Umidori but on the empty seat next to her.

This was a table for four, and Nara and Umidori had their luggage on the empty seats next to them.

“………Huh?!” Nara yelped, alarmed. “Oh no! The bag! The paper bag’s gone!”

“……What paper bag?”

“Th-the one the gift was in! For your family!”

Nara’s hands were as expressive as her face wasn’t, flailing all over.

“I specifically went out and bought some really nice treats as a souvenir! Where’d they go?!”

“……They were in a paper bag?” Umidori said, baffled. “I don’t think you ever had one with you. Not when we met—did you leave it at home?”

“……! Augh, I’m sure I did.” Nara slapped her leg. “What a disaster! I put it just inside the door last night so I’d be sure not to forget it, but my plan backfired!”

“……Nara, you didn’t have to do all that,” Umidori said, wincing. “Coming with me to Himeji is more than enough.”

“……I’m afraid that won’t cut it. Your family is letting me stay the night!” Nara shook her head. “You stay here and finish up, Umidori. I’m gonna pop downstairs and pick up something decent.”

“Huh?”

“At least I realized it while we were in a department store…!”

Nara was already on her feet, fishing her wallet out of her luggage.

“If we’d reached your house before I noticed, it would be all over!”

“……?! H-hey, Nara!” Umidori yelped. “I-it’s fine! No need to bend over backward. Grandma’s not a fiend or anything. She won’t flip out because you forgot to bring a gift!”

“……Don’t worry, Umidori. I’m the one who forgot the gift. This is all my fault.”

Nara hung her head.

“Look, this is something I feel the need to do. I don’t want her thinking my parents didn’t raise me better.”

“…………Nara.”

“I’m going, okay? I’ll be back in five, just you wait.”

With that, Nara chugged the last of her tea and sped off toward the restaurant door.

“—Whew. That ought to do the trick.”

A few minutes had passed.

Eyes on the plastic bag dangling from her arm, Nara looked relieved.

“I brought this on myself, but it sure hit my wallet hard. This kind of gift really gets pricey…,” she muttered, dabbing her brow with a handkerchief. “And the savings I built up as a model aren’t gonna last forever. If keep spending like this, I’ll run through them and have to get a part-time job.”

She happened to be passing a boutique, and her gaze lingered on the store window.

“Not that many places are kooky enough to hire a girl who refuses to smile,” she grumbled, looking at her dour reflection in the window with a hint of self-derision.

“…………”

Here, she remembered what Umidori had said.

“I just can’t shake the idea that you’re forcing yourself to come.”

“……How many times do I have to say it? I just want to meet your mom,” Nara said, her tone a little sulky. “If I didn’t invite myself along, you’d never share anything about yourself or your family.”

As she stood there muttering to herself…

“……………Mm?”

Nara caught sight of her face reflected in the glass wall of the boutique…

…and realized someone else was also in that reflection.

An elderly woman, standing right behind her.

“……H-huh? What?”

A classic little old lady, white hair and all.

She was maybe in her late sixties, early seventies.

Nara was a hair under five feet tall, and this lady was even shorter.

“Wh-what? How can this be?”

The lady looked like she was ready to cry.

Upon closer inspection, her eyes were on the phone in her hand.

She was tapping away at the screen, seemingly desperate and oblivious to the world around her.

“……………Ohh,” Nara said, taking the hint. She turned around. “Um, do you need help?”

The old lady gasped, startled.

“……Huh? Hah? Wh-who are you?”

“Just a passerby,” Nara said, trying to sound nice. “You seem like you were in trouble, so I’m just trying to help.”

“…………”

The old woman gave her a long, silent look.

Her hackles were up.

“……I-I’m fine!” she said at length, her voice quivering. “I—I don’t need to rope a stranger into this. I’m just a bit lost!”

“……You’re lost?”

“……I’m here to meet my granddaughter……!”

The woman trailed off, eyes on her phone.

“This…map ‘app’ thingamabob? I gave it a shot, but once I stepped into the building, it stopped functioning altogether.”

“……Oh,” Nara said, scratching her cheek. “That’s probably because you’re inside.”

“……Mm?”

“Map apps only really work outside.”

“……! M-my word!”

This seemed to shock the old lady, and her eyes went wide.

“Wh-why? That’s no use at all! I even d-downloaded it last night and practiced using it…”

“…Ah-ha-ha. GPS can’t work miracles,” Nara said, laughing awkwardly (but without moving her face). “Where are you supposed to meet your granddaughter?”

“……Mm?”

“I can help you look.”

“…………Mm? Oh?”

The old lady seemed rather rattled by the offer.

“……N-no, I couldn’t possibly. Like I said, I’m just a little lost. At my age, I can’t exactly go imposing on strangers.”

“……Oh? I don’t think it’s anything to be stubborn about.” Nara shrugged. She craned her neck, looking at the phone. “If you just tell me where you’re going… Oh!”

The moment she saw the screen, she let out a surprised yelp.

“You’re going to that restaurant?”

“……? W-well, yes.”

“What a coincidence! I was just having lunch with a friend there.”

“……You were?”

“……Thank you, child. Honestly, I needed the help,” the old lady admitted on the escalator. “I might well have stood there glaring at my phone for hours… I can’t thank you enough.”

“Not at all. I was headed back there anyway,” Nara said, fluttering a hand. “And there’s no need to get all formal about it. When people are in trouble, we help each other out.”

“……That would never do.”

“……Oh?”

“Availing myself of outside assistance is a lifelong shame,” the lady said grimly. “I’m not a child; I cannot allow this to happen again.”

“……Um, it’s really no big deal.”

“……Are you from around here?” the lady asked, not lightening up at all.

“Huh? Oh, no, not at all. I’m actually visiting from Kobe.”

“Hmm, a Kobe kid? Here for fun?”

“More or less. Staying the night here with a friend.”

“……Oh, an overnight visit? At your age…what fun is there in Himeji? There’s nothing worth seeing here.”

“Oh, I dunno. There’s lots of stuff. The castle?” Nara said brightly.

“……………”

The old lady shot her a quizzical look.

“……I noticed right away, but you sure are a beauty,” she said.

“Mm?”

“Are there many girls this good-looking over in Kobe? I certainly haven’t seen any quite your equal.”

“……Ah-ha-ha, thank you. I do appreciate the flattery,” Nara said, resorting to a safe answer. “But I’m really not all that. The girl I’m here with is pretty cute herself!”

“……I’m not flattering you. I meant every word.”

The old lady gave Nara a curious look.

“I’ve been wondering this since we first met, but what’s with the sullen face? Your voice is all bright and cheery.”

“……Yeah, I get that a lot,” Nara said, scratching a cheek without expression. “It’s a habit or quirk of mine. Sorry if it bothers you. I mean no harm by it.”

“……Oh, it doesn’t upset me or anything. Though I was a bit alarmed when you first spoke to me.”

“……You were?”

“……I—I thought you were after my wallet,” the woman mumbled, quietly enough that Nara couldn’t hear her. “Mugged by a teenager in broad daylight… My knees were all aquiver.”

“……? Sorry, I can’t hear you. Can you speak up?”

“……No, never mind.”

The old lady cleared her throat.

“Come to think of it, I never asked for your name. What is it?”

“Oh, it’s Yoshino! Yoshi is the grass radical over direction, and no is the character that looks like a defective katana.”

“Ah, Yoshino… What a nice name.”

“And your name is…?”

“Me? I’m called Shingetsu.”

“……Shingetsu?”

“Like new moon. Pretty straightforward.”

“……Huh, Shingetsu… An unusual name.”

“Ha-ha, so I’m often told.”

……As they chatted, the two of them reached their floor.

The restaurant Nara had recently raced out of was only a short distance away.

“Oh! See, Shingetsu? There’s the restaurant!”

Stepping onto the floor, Nara pointed dead ahead.

“………”

But the old lady was giving the restaurant sign a gloomy look.

“……Mm? Something wrong?”

“……Give me a second, Yoshino.” The old lady’s voice quivered. “I’m not certain I’m ready yet.”

“Ready?” Nara asked, tilting her head. “Aren’t you just meeting your grandkid?”

“……Well, yes.” The lady sighed. “But not just her. She’s brought a friend from school.”

“…………Oh?”

“My granddaughter lives in Kobe and is home for a visit. Never imagined she’d bring a friend with her. I’m all nerves.”

“……………”

“Honestly, my heart was beating so fast, I barely slept last night,” she said, smiling feebly. “I was just wondering what sort of girl her friend was. I hope she’s as nice as you, Yoshino.”

“…………”

“……Mm? Something wrong, Yoshino?” the lady asked.

“……Um, Shingetsu,” Nara said, scratching her cheek. “Sorry, you were so different from what I’d heard, it never occurred to me to ask.”

“……?”

“Would your family name be Umidori?”

……While Nara was busy in Himeji—same time, different place.

Somewhere far from Hyogo Prefecture.

Specifically, Nagoya, in Aichi Prefecture.

______Beep beep beep beep!

The screech of the alarm clock roused the girl from her slumber.

“……? Is it morning?”

Blearily, she sat up on her futon.

A blonde girl, around eighteen years of age.

—Beep beep beep beep! Beep beep beep beep!

“……Oh, shut up. I’m awake.”

The alarm—set to noon—was still ringing, and the girl grumpily turned it off. She stretched and pried herself out of bed.

A wooden-framed apartment, with tatami floors.

The place was seven tatami large with no walls to speak of—a single room. It was hardly large even by studio standards, but the girl had a table to eat on, a fridge, a dresser, and her futon, which took up the bulk of the space.

“Yawn!”

Creak! Creak!

Paying no attention to the racket the floor made, she moved around, yawning.

This floor had likely been installed quite a few years ago.

“—Oh, good morning.”

Then came a different girl’s voice, flat and intonation-free.

“I was about to call for you. You woke to your alarm alone? Impressive.”

This voice carried from the kitchen.

It was a rudimentary space: just a sink, a single burner, and a pitiably small counter. There was a large pot on the burner, filled with water on the verge of a boil.

Next to the pot was a packet of soumen.

“Wait just a moment longer. I’ll have lunch ready soon,” the other girl said, picking up the soumen packet.

This girl had black hair and also appeared to be eighteen.

“……Lunch, huh? It’s breakfast for me,” the late riser said. She gave the packet a look. “Soumen for lunch?”

“Do you object?”

“Not at all. I was just in the mood.”

She smiled airily.

“Miser Clown, you always know just what I want to eat without me needing to say a word. So helpful.”

The girl in the kitchen bowed politely.

She was dressed rather oddly.

In a maid outfit.

No cosplay knock-off, the uniform was crafted from proper fabric—the real deal.

Why was a girl in a legit maid uniform making lunch in the kitchen of this obviously run-down, low-rent apartment?

“……When it’s this hot out, how can anyone live without soumen?”

The girl who’d just woken up was every bit as odd-looking.

Her sleepy eyes were a clear blue.

Her bedhead was a glittering blonde.

She had a beautiful face and an equally impressive figure.

If she put on a proper dress and stood at the side of a ballroom, anyone would assume she came from money. At the moment, however, she was wearing bargain-bin sweats and inhabiting a wood and tatami studio apartment.

“……Yawn. I didn’t get nearly enough sleep…”

That wide-open yawn, the sway as she was scratching her belly—neither gesture was exactly associated with good breeding.

Miiiiiin, minmin, min, miiiiin.

The shrill cries of cicadas drifted in through the window.

“Ugh, I don’t want to go outside…”

That cacophony made the blonde—Kirara Seiryoin—groan aloud.

In her right hand was a pair of disposable chopsticks, and in her left a cup of mentsuyu dipping sauce.

She’d changed before the meal was ready, so she was no longer in pajamas, but in clothes meant for going out.

“I don’t want to take a single step in that sunshine. Leaving the apartment when it’s this hot is the height of madness.”

“……Lady Kirara.”

The maid—Miser Clown—deposited some green onions in the mentsuyu, giving Seiryoin a grave look.

“Will you be skipping your part-time job?”

“…………”

That made Seiryoin wince.

“Miser Clown! Do I have to go to work?”

“…………”

“I really don’t think anyone would brave this heat just to eat a beef bowl,” she sighed. “I’ve had a shift every day since summer vacation started! I’m sick of it! I’m eighteen! Is there anything sadder than wasting my summer on labor?!”

“……Lady Kirara, I sympathize,” Miser Clown intoned. “But arguably, this is simply the way of things. We’re poor.”

“……………Ugh.”

Seiryoin hung her head. For a while, neither spoke. The only sound was the slurping of noodles.

“It was so much better when I was young,” Seiryoin said eventually. “I swear, I was never allowed to feel the heat in summer. Not once. The villa in Finland just never got this hot.”

“……Finland, yes. That takes me back,” Miser Clown said, slurping her soumen. “How many years has it been since we last summered there?”

“I’m afraid I don’t remember.”

Seiryoin sighed, shaking her head.

“It’s been years since we traveled at all. I’d at least like to go somewhere inside Japan in the near future.”

“……Domestic traveling?” Miser Clown said, tilting her head. “Didn’t we just do that, Lady Kirara?”

“……Huh?” Seiryoin frowned. “Wait, what do you mean, Miser Clown? We haven’t traveled!”

“During Golden Week.”

“……Golden Week?”

“Early May, to Kobe. Don’t you remember?”

“……Oh.”

Seiryoin finally caught up, but it just made her shoulders droop.

“No, no, that hardly counts as traveling, Miser Clown. We certainly went to Kobe, but that was an errand for Mud Hat.”

“Does that make it not traveling?”

“Obviously. That was pure business. A business trip. And honestly, I really don’t want to remember that day.”

—Brr, brr!

Just then…

Seiryoin’s phone began to vibrate on the table.

“Oh, someone’s calling?” She looked surprised and put her chopsticks down on her soumen bowl. “Who could it be?”

The phone was face up, and the display read:

MUD HAT

“………My, my,” Seiryoin said, sounding rather surprised. “Will wonders never cease?! Speak of the devil, and he calls.”

“Hello, Seiryoin.”

When she picked up the call, a man’s voice echoed from the phone’s speaker.

“Is now a good time?”

“I wouldn’t say so,” she snapped, sounding hostile.

Seiryoin wasn’t holding the phone to her ear. She had put it in speaker mode and set it down on the table.

“I’m busy eating soumen for lunch.”

“……! Oh, deary me. Well, I can call back…”

“No, go on. Say your piece.” Seiryoin cut him off. “Once I’m done eating, I’ve got to get to work. Forgive my manners, but I’m prepared to listen as I eat, Mud Hat.”

“……Fair enough. If that works for you, Seiryoin, far be it from me to object.”

The man paused to take a breath.

“—Then I’ll get right to the point. First, thanks for your efforts during Golden Week.”

“……Golden Week?” Seiryoin echoed, her cheeks stiffening.

“Yes, your little errand to Kobe at the start of May.” His voice was unperturbed. “I’m grateful to you. There may be an expressway between Nagoya and Kobe, but a journey of that length must have taken its toll. It was for the benefit of the faction, but you certainly drew the short straw. Seiryoin, you’re by far the hardest worker of the faction’s leaders.”

“……………Are you being sarcastic?” she spat. “I completely flubbed that mission. I wouldn’t—”

“Sarcastic? Hardly. I have no intention of rebuking you. You are always a tremendous help.”

“……I’m not making excuses. It was a series of unexpected turns.” Seiryoin sighed, frustrated. “Ryoko Kudo…an innocent, newborn Beliar. All I had to do was gently invite her to join the faction. A simple job—I hardly expected that interference. I believe I explained all this in the report.”

“Oh, indeed. Bullshit-chan and Hurt, yes?” the man said cheerily. “It’s certainly a surprising twist. I had no idea Bullshit-chan had taken Hurt out, much less in the same place I’d sent you.”

“……………”

“Your email said they were joined by a blue-haired girl you couldn’t get a read on. With a crowd like that assembled against you, I imagine you were in no position to recruit anyone.

“Incidentally, how were they? Did they seem happy?”

“……Hmm, I don’t know if that’s the word for it.” Seiryoin sounded exasperated. “But that’s beside the point. They’re out of the faction and they no longer have anything to do with us.”

“Ha-ha, already distancing yourself?” He sounded amused. “Well, enough about them. Ryoko Kudo is a real shame. From your report, had she joined the faction, it seems she would have grown into the sort of fascinating Beliar I do so love.”

“Maybe so, but there’s not much I can do about it now,” Seiryoin drawled. “So? How about we get to the point? If we drag this out any longer, I’ll be late for work.”

“Oh, I beg your pardon. There I go, chatting away. I’m not exactly calling about anything critical, but I thought I should say it directly.”

“……?”

“This concerns your expenses,” the man said, all businesslike. “I believe the bill will be delivered soon. Please take care of it when it arrives. You need merely wire the money to my account.”

“………………Huh?” Seiryoin frowned. “The bill? For what?”

“What else?” the man said, not skipping a beat. “The limo, the tea, and the cake. I feel like you should have worked that out.”

“…………Um?” Seiryoin froze up, her mouth hanging open.

The silence lasted five seconds. Ten.

—Then all the blood drained from her face.

“Huh? What? The limo, tea, and cake?”

“…………”

“W-wait a minute, Mud Hat, what are you talking about? I-I’m totally lost!”

“……You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.” His tone never changed. “This all stands to reason. The limo you had Miser Clown drive on Golden Week, the tea and treats you enjoyed on the way—you know perfectly well you paid for all that with my money.”

“……………”

“I was shocked when you returned the limo with the floor drenched in vegetable oil. Fair enough; I’ll take care of the cleaning bill. But you’ll need to wire me the fee for the limo itself, along with the cost of the tea and treats. Within the month.”

“…………W-wait! That makes no sense!” Seiryoin wailed, lips quivering. “That’s not what we agreed!”

“……Isn’t it?”

“You said that would all be free!” Her eyes were on the phone, pleading. “You said you’d cover the expenses for taking on your errand!”

“……………”

“I-if it wasn’t free, I would hardly ask for something like that! I’m dirt poor!”

She shook her head, beside herself.

“A-and how much is it?”

“……Well.”

……

“—Eeeek?!”

He’d named a specific figure, and she let out a shriek, collapsing.

Her complexion went beyond pale and into ashen.

“Aughhhhhh!”

“I am sorry, Seiryoin, but I’m afraid you must cover it.”

She was at a loss for words, but the man just kept piling it on.

“It’s not like I have no sympathy. You were born in the Seiryoin family, driven from your home, and forced into a life of poverty. What a piteous plight.”

“…………”

“But when you pretend to be rich on my errands, helping yourself to limos, tea, and treats—I allow that because of your talent, not sympathy.”

“…………”

“You make yourself useful to me, and those expenses are the reward, not special treatment. When that condition collapses, as it did this time—well, I can hardly provide the same benefits. If it had merely been Shinkansen tickets, I would have said nothing, whether the mission succeeded or not. But a limousine, tea, and cake are not ‘necessary’ expenses. They’re pure extravagances.”

“…………”

“Well, there you have it. If you need an extension on the deadline, I’m available to discuss it. Simply give me a ring.”

“…………”

“Enjoy your shift at work!”

Bzzt.

Mud Hat hung up.

A loaded silence settled over the apartment.

“…………M-Miser Clown,” Seiryoin moaned.

She raised her head, giving the other girl a feeble look.

“……………”

The maid looked every bit as devastated.

Her usual poker face was nowhere to be found.

She’d not batted an eye the entire time Seiryoin and Mud Hat had been talking, but the instant Mud Hat had named the price, Miser Clown had turned white as a sheet.

“……………W-we have to default!” Miser Clown said, her voice a rasp. “Lady Kirara, do not pay this! Make no effort to send that man money!”

“……………”

“H-he said that all expenses would be covered. Reneging on that promise is inappropriate! He’s the one in the wrong here! He’s a con artist!”

“……That will never do, Miser Clown,” Seiryoin said, listlessly shaking her head. “If we default, he’ll never let us use his money again.”

“…………?!”

“I’m no longer rich, so getting to occasionally play at being wealthy is all I live for. Take that away from me, and I can’t go on. You know that.”

“…………”

Miser Clown was silenced.

……And a moment later, tears began streaming down her face.

“……Sniff. I-I’m so sorry, Lady Kirara.” Miser Clown sobbed. “With your ability, becoming rich should be a trifle! But I’m a no-good lie!”

“……! Augh, don’t give me that, now!” Seiryoin wailed. She moved the soumen on the floor aside and threw her arms around the maid. “This isn’t on you! I’m the Beliar, so it’s all my fault!”

“……Lady Kirara,” Miser Clown whispered, in a tight embrace.

“You are my ideal partner. I can’t imagine having any other maid but you.”

“……………”

“And there’s nothing to fret about. Times are hard, but not forever,” Seiryoin whispered in Miser Clown’s ear. “Enduring this life of poverty is but a stepping stone on the way to our true goal. I’m sure you’ve not forgotten that.”

“……No, of course not,” Miser Clown said through her tears. “Your desire is my desire, Lady Kirara…”

“Good.”

Seiryoin gave her maid a pleasant smile.

“Incidentally, Miser Clown, this talk of Golden Week reminds me of something. We ran into Bullshit-chan, Hurt, and that blue-haired girl. But do you remember the girl with them? Tougetsu Umidori?”

“……Tougetsu Umidori?” Miser Clown intoned, like the name was a foreign concept. She blinked a few times. “Oh, her. I remember. The tall girl.”

“Yes. Beautiful black hair. She made an impression on me.”

“……Come to think of it, Lady Kirara, you didn’t mention her in your report to Mud Hat,” Miser Clown said, looking puzzled. “I’m assuming that was intentional?”

“But of course. I wanted to keep her secret.” Seiryoin nodded. “From Mud Hat and the rest of the faction.”

“……?”

“Miser Clown, we discussed this back in the limo. Tougetsu Umidori is not a Beliar. She is an ordinary girl, the kind you find anywhere. But there was one unusual thing about her.”

“……The fauxroma?” Miser Clown asked. “True, I found it odd myself. Tougetsu Umidori did not smell of lies at all. But what of it?”

“……No fauxroma,” Seiryoin said, eyes narrowing. “Heh-heh. Curious, isn’t it? If Umidori really is what I think she is, then we can use her to our—”

—Brr, brr.

Her murmuring was interrupted again.

Once more, her phone was vibrating.

And again, the screen showed MUD HAT.

“—Argh, what is it this time?!” Seiryoin screeched.

She snatched up the phone.

“I’m busy hugging Miser Clown! If you’ve got business, handle it in a single call!” she yowled.

She tapped the screen and put the phone to her ear.

“Hello? What else could we possibly say, Mud Hat?!” she growled, not hiding her frustrations. “Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to pay you. I may be reduced to this, but I am still a Seiryoin, and I would never default! Even if your bill is basically a confidence scam! But all at once is quite unreasonable. Can we at least arrange an installment—?”

“Oh, no, this isn’t about that, Seiryoin,” he responded in a pleasant voice. “I clean forgot to discuss my other reason for calling!”

“……Your other reason?”

“Arguably, this is far more important than the money. Seiryoin, how was Kobe?”

“……Huh?” She frowned. “……What are you asking? What are you after?”

“It’s a simple question! You were just in Kobe, and I’m curious to hear your impressions of it,” he said, sounding in high spirits. “You see, Seiryoin, I’m planning on holding a festival in Kobe soon.”

“……You’re what?”

4
Shingetsu Umidori and Mangetsu Umidori

“……Whoa, this is wild!”

Eyes on the view before her, Nara gasped.

They were a few stops away from Himeji Station, standing before an old Japanese house deep in the hills, surrounded by trees.

It was quite large.

Less a house than a manor.

“……Huh? Is this huge place really your home, Umidori?”

“……Technically.”

Umidori gave it a gloomy look.

“Just seeing that gate brings back all kinds of memories.”

“Gosh…” Nara’s eyes were sparkling like a little kid’s. “That sure is something! Umidori, you’re legit rich?”

“……No, no, don’t say that. Nara, I’m not!”

Umidori shook her head vigorously.

“When it was just my mom and me, we were super poor. Like I said, I only lived here between the ages of ten and fifteen. Only five years.”

“……Yeah, maybe that’s true, but…”

“—So, Nara, about your room.” A woman’s voice echoed from next to Nara. “I set one up next to Tougetsu’s room, but if you’d rather share a room with her, go right ahead. We’ve got enough guest futons to hold a yard sale.”

The speaker was a little old lady—Umidori’s grandmother. Her tone was rather curt.

“Dinner should be ready by seven. Rest up until then. Feel free to hit the bath first.”

“……Uh, yeah, thanks,” Nara said awkwardly.

This is Umidori’s grandmother, Shingetsu Umidori.

She gave the old lady a closer look.

She really doesn’t look anything like her granddaughter. So much shorter!

Nara wasn’t quite five feet tall, and even she had to look down at Shingetsu. The height difference was less “grandma and grandkid” than “child and adult.”

But if I look closely, I can see some similarities in their faces. I’m sure Shingetsu was quite the beauty when she was young. I mean, even now she’s lovely. Spritely.

“So, uh, Nara,” Umidori said, tugging at her sleeve. “Were you okay?”

“……With what?”

“You ran into my grandma by accident, right?” she whispered, wincing. “I assume that must have been awkward. She’s so terrifying!”

“…………” Nara gave her a long, blank stare. “She’s really not.”

“……Huh?”

“I mean, when I first met Shingetsu, she was about to cry over her map app…”

“Ahem!”

A pointed throat clear.

“Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!”

“……? What’s wrong, Shingetsu? Do you have a cold?” Nara asked, concerned.

“……No, nothing of the sort,” Umidori’s grandmother snapped. “Nara, there is one other thing I should inform you of.”

“……Inform me of? What?”

“Tougetsu brought you here, and you are our guest. You should make yourself at home. But there is one thing I’d like you to promise: Do not go near the room at the back of the second floor.”

“……………?” Nara tilted her head. “……Um, wh-why not?”

“That is Mangetsu’s room,” Umidori’s grandmother said, not looking Nara’s way. “Mangetsu Umidori—my daughter, and Tougetsu’s mother. I’m afraid I must hold you to this. It’s a household rule.”

“……A rule?”

“She generally doesn’t come out of her room, and she absolutely hates having anyone else intrude. Even the members of our family almost never venture in.”

“…………”

This made Nara look back up at the house.

“……Um, sorry, hang on… Does that mean I’m not gonna get to meet Umidori’s mother?” she asked, eyes on the second floor. “I was really looking forward to that.”

“Don’t worry, Nara,” Umidori said. “I’m sure you’ll see her at dinner.”

“……Oh?”

“Mom does come out of her room to eat dinner with everyone,” Umidori said. She turned to her grandmother. “Grandma, you did tell Mom that Nara was coming, right?”

“……Of course I did, Tougetsu.” She nodded. “I brought it up at dinner a few days back. I said you’d be visiting and bringing a friend from school.”

“……And what did Mom say?”

“Nothing.” Her grandmother shrugged. “The whole time I spoke, she was sipping miso soup. I think she heard me, at least.”

“……Right.”

“……………Uh?! Is that really okay?!” Nara sounded increasingly anxious. “Your mom didn’t say a word?! Does that mean she doesn’t wanna meet me?”

“Like I said, don’t worry,” Umidori said, managing an awkward smile. “If Mom doesn’t offer her opinion, then she’s fine with it. She didn’t object!”

“……………?”

Nara didn’t exactly find that explanation convincing, but Umidori sounded so sure of herself that Nara couldn’t press the point any further.

……What is this lady’s deal? What kind of mother is she?

“It’s the Bullshit-channel!”

The title logo was accompanied by a burst of cheery music.

On-screen was what looked like a kitchen.

And in that kitchen stood a white-haired girl in a cat-eared hoodie.

“What up?! Welcome back, my lovely viewers! It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for—time for some more Bullshit-channel!

“I’m your host, Bullshit-chan! That’s my name, and ‘chan’ is part of it! Spell it all out in hiragana, and yes—it’s my real name.”

The cat-eared girl was doing a little dance as she nattered away.

It looked like she was having a blast, but it was hard to tell for sure, as no one could see the look on her face.

Because her face was completely covered by a cat mask.

“Okay, today’s video is following right up from last time! ‘Making Bokkake: Part Two’! Let’s get to it!”

She was chattering away in front of a giant pot.

“So last time, we got the beef tendon on the stove! From that point, you just let it simmer until it’s super tender! Once it’s soft, you mix in konjac cut into bite-sized pieces and a broth made separately, and it’s done! Still a long way ahead of us!

“Still, bokkake is one of the best local Kobe dishes! Bullshit-chan guarantees it’s a flavor sensation! I should add that Fukui Prefecture also has a dish named bokkake, but the ingredients are unrelated. Isn’t that weird?”

As she spoke, she gently brushed the lid of the pot.

“Okay, so while we wait for this dish to finish, we’ve got nothing better to do—so let’s take a look at the comments!

“First up, Mutton Mura Lamb Taro! ‘How old are you, Bullshit-chan?’ Mwa-ha-ha-ha, that would be telling!”

“……What is this?” Ryoko Kudo gasped, pressing pause.

“What else? My video,” Bullshit-chan said. “My newest upload to Bullshit-channel.”

“……Bullshit-channel?”

“Like it sounds! A channel full of cooking videos hosted by yours truly.”

“…………Huh,” Kudo said, staring at the phone in her hands. “W-wait a second, you stream cooking videos? Bullshit-chan, you’re a streamer?”

“Is it that surprising? It’s hardly unusual these days.” Bullshit-chan shrugged.

They were talking in the grocery store parking lot.

The sun had already set. They were near the rows of shopping carts outside the doors.

Bullshit-chan had her cat-ear hoodie on, and Kudo was wearing a supermarket apron, their faces bathed in the exterior lights of the grocery store. It was just the two of them; there wasn’t another soul in sight.

“Simply put, it’s how I make money,” Bullshit-chan said, gazing out into the darkness. “See, Kudo, I may not be human, but I’ve gotta live in human society—so it really helps to maintain a certain level of cash on hand.

“Sadly, I’m unable to earn a living by any normal means. I look the age I look, so no one would hire me if I showed up for a part-time job. But I can’t exactly go around lifting wallets or breaking and entering, can I?”

“……So you settled on streaming cooking videos?”

“Yes. In that format, my apparent youth doesn’t work against me at all. And I can make infinite cooking videos without running out of material. Profits overlap with my personal interests. It’s the perfect money-making scheme.”

“……I guess so.” Kuro nodded, finally convinced. “I assume Umidori knows about this? I mean, this is clearly her kitchen.”

“Naturally. Umidori’s giving me a place to shoot my videos. I cannot thank her enough for providing such a fine kitchen space.”

“……By the way, how much are you making?”

“Let’s just say enough. I’m reliably earning enough to split the rent with Umidori.”

“……Yeah, your videos sure do have a lot of comments.”

Kudo was scrolling down the comments below the Bullshit-chan Making Bokkake: Part Two video.

Snail-kun: That looks great! I want some!

Hanako Yamada: I’ve never even heard of bokkake! What’s it taste like?

Imperial Feast: You know so much about cooking, Bullshit- chan!

Partisan Cheese: Watching your videos soothes the soul!

Grudge-bearing Tsukushi: Phony.

Yusuke: Bullshit-chan, you’ve gotta take the mask off!

Stumbling Yotaro: I’m sure Bullshit-chan’s a cutie. I wanna see your face!

Grudge-bearing Tsukushi: She sure thinks she’s cute.

Nirvana: Wow, that looks good! You’re adorable, Bullshit-chan!

Failing Shogunate: Huh, was bokkake from Kobe?

Grudge-bearing Tsukushi: Only girls who think they’re cute wear cat-ear hoodies! Don’t let her fool you, Tougetsu!

Three-run Squeeze: @Grudge-bearing Tsukushi You’re trolling again, rofl

Angel Coefficient: I’m sick of this Tsukushi character. Why aren’t they banned yet?

“……Yeah, you sure are popular,” Kudo said, skimming the comments, impressed.

She must have reached the bottom, because she switched the screen off and pocketed her phone.

“So? I get why you’re streaming cooking videos, but what’s Bullshit-channel got to do with this lie?” she asked.

“…………”

“Sorry, but can you get to the point? If you beat around the bush, my break’s gonna end.

“—I mean, I get the part where Kobe dishes seem like they’re getting stolen by Kakogawa. Hard to believe, but since it is actually happening, I’ve gotta trust you on that one.”

“Yeah, thanks for understanding, Kudo.” Bullshit-chan nodded. “I knew I could trust someone who was making vegetable oil come to life not two months ago! You’re far better at grasping the uncanny power of falsification than your average layperson.”

“……I mean, I’m still really confused? And I have no clue why I’ve gotta spend my break listening to this crazy talk,” Kudo grumbled, scratching her cheek. “But I guess the part I get the least is the Kakogawa Beliar’s motivation. Stealing all of Kobe’s specialties? That’s just dumb! What good would that possibly do anyone?”

“……At this stage, I can’t speak to that. I’ve gotta assume it’s their way of expressing Kakogawa pride? After all, only Kakogawa stands to benefit from this.”

“……Kakogawa pride, huh?”

Kudo chewed that over for a while.

“Well, if Kakogawa’s lacking in the local gourmet department, I guess it makes sense, but it doesn’t sit right. Why would Kakogawa need to swipe other cities’ dishes? They’ve got their own!”

“……Do they? You mean katsumeshi?” Bullshit-chan asked. “Nara did bring that up. Honestly, I’ve never had it. Is it all that?”

“……?! You’ve never had it?!” Kudo gasped. “You’ve gotta be kidding, Bullshit-chan! You can’t seriously live in Hyogo and not eat katsumeshi! You’re wasting your life! Trust me on this one. You need to go have some for lunch tomorrow.”

“……Huh. Well, if you say so, then it must be pretty good.”

“I’d recommend going to Motomachi. They’ve got a shop that only serves katsumeshi—Katsu Messiah. Friend of mine runs the place. It’s legit.”

“……That’s one hell of a name.” Bullshit-chan winced. “And not a dish many specialize in. Is your friend from Kakogawa?”

“No, born and raised in Kobe. She’s a bit older than I am. Went to Kakogawa for something else once, had some katsumeshi at a rest stop, and it changed her life. She wanted to spread the gospel to the world, so she opened a specialized restaurant. A bona fide katsumeshi freak.”

“……There sure are some weird chefs out there.”

“Her name’s Yonene Katsurahama. Go out drinking with her, and she’s bound to crack a joke about her name having ‘katsu’ in it! Hilarious, right?”

“……I couldn’t say.”

“Still, she’s devoted her life to katsumeshi, so the flavor’s off the charts. Her katsumeshi’s so good that she forced every katsu shop in the area to shutter.”

“……Um, Kudo, I get the point. You’ve sold me! I’ll check it out in the near future,” Bullshit-chan said, awkwardly trying to stop the flow. “Let’s get back on track. We’ve been on a huge tangent.”

“…Mm? Oh, my bad. Got carried away.” Kudo scratched her nose. “And my break’s seriously almost up. Take it away, Bullshit-chan.”

“……Right, then. I’d better make it quick.” Bullshit-chan cleared her throat. “First, Kudo, I came all the way to your workplace on your break to tell you about the Kakogawa Beliar for good reason. I want your help on our next fallicide.”

“……Help how?”

“This fallicide will be a bit different from the previous ones.”

“……? How so?”

“Listen, Kudo.” Bullshit-chan held up her index finger. “Our fourth fallicide target—the Kakogawa Beliar—has one key difference from the Beliars Umidori and I have faced previously. Do you know what that is?”

“……No, what?”

“Right now, we don’t yet know who they are.”

“……??”

“For my first fallicide, my initial target was Yoshino Nara, and Umidori just happened to be with her. We wound up switching targets to Hayakawa merely because she came after us.

“The second fallicide was very similar. Umidori happened to remember her conversation with you, and this supermarket provided a valuable clue, so they very quickly managed to track you down. The third followed a similar pattern.”

“……There was a third?” Kudo frowned. “Oh, Umidori mentioned that. Something about fighting a crazy composer in Nishinomiya-Kitaguchi back in June.”

“Yes, the maternity music specialist, Utau Gobodou. A tricky foe. Still, Nara proactively assisted us, so we emerged triumphant without significant difficulty.”

“……I had nothing to do with it, so I can’t really say, but if a cult composer is hiding in Nishinomiya-Kitaguchi, then the world’s coming to an end. Isn’t that the number one most desirable place to live in all of Kansai?”

“Well, in this case, Utau Gobodou happened to be teaching a music class for expectant mothers in Nishinomiya-Kitaguchi, so it was relatively easy to track them down.”

“……I see. Unlike your current target, then?” Kudo nodded. “Basically, you don’t have much more to work with than a strong possibility they’re from Kakogawa. So the first order of business is to track down the perp. But Kakogawa’s a big place, and finding a single Beliar there is like looking for a needle in a haystack.”

“That’s very much the problem. Kakogawa has a population of 250,000. My nose might be able to detect lies, but it’s still a tall order.”

“At that size, Saladette’s telepathy would struggle, too.”

“The best she can manage is a town the size of our own, Isuzunomiya. But that’s legit impressive.” Bullshit-chan shrugged. “With time and effort, we’d manage it eventually. But since the falsification has already progressed pretty far, we don’t have time for the slow road. We’ve gotta be clever, and efficient.”

“……So what’s the plan?”

“______Heh-heh. That’s where you and the Bullshit-channel come in, Kudo.”

“……Huh?”

“Think about it, Kudo. We don’t actually need to comb the streets of Kakogawa.”

Bullshit-chan’s smile grew ominous.

“We just need to make the Kakogawa Beliar leave Kakogawa. See?”

“Ugh, I’m really stressing over this.”

Seven PM, Himeji.

Nara was looking at an array of dishes on the tray before her.

“……Stressing over what?” Umidori asked. She was sitting next to Nara.

“……Do I need to spell it out? All that buildup about your mom. How can I not?”

They were seated in a Japanese-style room with tatami floors.

Currently, it was just the two of them. The girls were sitting on cushions in front of their trays. (Umidori was kneeling properly, but Nara was off her lower legs.) Nara’s eyes kept shooting to the doors and back.

She was clearly nervous.

“Shingetsu went to call her down, but is this gonna work out?” Nara fretted. “Your mom’s not gonna come in here and immediately ask me to leave or anything?”

“……Heh-heh, what? Of course not.” Umidori giggled. “But I guess I’m stressing over this, too.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, I haven’t seen my mom in ages,” she said, following Nara’s gaze to the door. Her voice dropped to a sad whisper. “Grandma said she’s been doing better, but…better how?”

“………Umidori,” Nara said, giving her an intent look.

—Rattle, rattle.

The sliding doors chose that moment to open.

“—?!”

Nara straightened up reflexively.

Her eyes snapped back to the entrance, quickly scanning the doorway.

“……Sorry, girls, the wait’s over.”

However…

Only one person stood there. The white-haired old lady, Shingetsu Umidori.

With that curt utterance, she stomped on into the room.

“You must be starving. Let me get your drinks. Oolong tea?”

“…………?”

But her words went in one of Nara’s ears and out the other.

The girl was still craning her neck, eyes on the door behind the old woman.

Yet no matter how long she waited, there was no sign of anyone else.

“……?? H-hang on, Shingetsu,” she said, unable to bear it. “Wh-why are you alone? Where’s Umidori’s mother?”

“……Yes, well, about that,” the grandma mumbled, not looking at Nara. “……I do beg your pardon. Mangetsu won’t be joining us for dinner.”

“…………Huh?”

A silence settled over the room.

For several seconds, no one said a thing.

“……………What the…?”

The first to break the silence was not Nara, but Umidori.

Her voice a low growl, she turned to her grandmother.

“She won’t be joining us? What do you mean, Grandma?”

“……………Tougetsu.” The old lady hung her head. “……She wasn’t there. I went up to call her just now, and…”

“……Huh?”

“I know for a fact she was here last night. She must have left home while I was out picking you two up. Didn’t realize until this very moment.”

“……………”

“……………Whaaat?!” Nara let out a yelp. “……Wh-what does that mean? She’s gone? She disappeared?”

“……You could put it like that.” Umidori’s grandmother nodded. “A member of the house, disappearing without leaving so much as a note behind.”

“……Yeah, no, this is no time to dillydally!” Nara was waving both arms around, quite worked up. “That’s bad news! We’ve gotta call the police…!”

“……Ha! No point.”

“……Huh?”

“Think about it. This isn’t some teenage runaway. Mangetsu’s an adult. There’s nothing suspicious about it. She just went out. The police wouldn’t lift a finger.”

The old lady made a face.

“And if I’m honest, this isn’t her first time pulling a stunt like this.”

“……? It isn’t?”

“She does this. She holes up in her room most of the time, but when the whim strikes her, she ups and vanishes. She always shows back up soon enough, never leaving for more than three days. It’s like an episode. I’ve asked her to at least let me know where she’s going, but she never listens.”

“…………Wow.”

Expressionless, Nara let her head droop.

“I thought I was finally going to meet Umidori’s mom, and she’s vanished.”

“…………Sorry, Nara.”

Umidori’s forlorn whisper reached Nara’s ears.

“I can’t apologize enough. You came all this way just to meet her, and she stands you up. And she knew you were coming, too.”

“……Umidori.”

“……This is just shockingly rude. Not something a grown-up should do. I never thought coming home would be this bad.”

There was a look of deep sadness in Umidori’s eyes.

—The evening meal was a quiet affair. Tougetsu Umidori, Yoshino Nara, and Shingetsu Umidori methodically worked through their food.

“……So how’s Tougetsu doing, Yoshino?” Umidori’s grandmother asked, sighing. “Taking it hard?”

“……Yeah, honestly.” Nara nodded. “She’s splayed flat out on her futon like her battery’s out of juice, not really responding when I try and talk to her.”

“……I can’t blame her. It’s been a year and a half since she last saw her mother. For it to end like this… And we really do feel bad for you, Yoshino.”

“……No, no, it doesn’t bother me.” Nara didn’t bat an eye, but her tone made it clear she was mindful of the grandmother’s feelings. “Umidori’s mother might have her reasons, and even if it didn’t work out today, I should have plenty of other chances to meet her.

“But we came all this way to visit, so it’s a shame to have Umidori in the dumps like this. I wanted to take a bath together! I bet you’ve got a really big one.”

“……Not necessarily that big,” Shingetsu said. “—?! Ow, ow, ow! Yoshino, stop! Stop that!”

“……Huh?”

“Th-that really hurts! I can’t! Mercy!”

“……Oh? I’m really hurting you?” Nara asked. She was digging her elbows into Shingetsu’s shoulders. “But a little pain leads to pleasure! The discomfort proves you’re all locked up!”

“……M-maybe that’s true, but you’ve gotta take it easy on me! I’m an old woman!”

This was a different tatami room than the one they’d eaten dinner in.

Yoshino Nara was sitting behind Umidori’s grandmother.

“……Are you sure about this, Yoshino? You’re not just being nice? Even if Tougetsu’s out of sorts, it can’t be fun to massage these old bones. I’m sure playing with your phone would be much more entertaining.”

“Ah-ha-ha, don’t be like that, Shingetsu.”

Rub rub.

A poker-faced laugh, and a gentler approach to the shoulders.

“I quite like giving massages. I often rub my parents’ shoulders when I’m at home.”

“……Do you, now?” Shingetsu asked, eyes front. “Yoshino, while I have you, can I ask one thing? Are you aware of Tougetsu’s condition?”

“……Mm?” This caught Nara off guard, and she blinked a few times. “Condition? You mean how she can’t lie?”

“……So you do know.” Umidori’s grandmother sounded relieved. “She told you herself?”

“……Uh, strictly speaking, no. It’s a long story.”

“……? Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re here, with her, and you’re fully aware of it.”

“……I’m more curious about what you make of it. You knew?”

“Well, yes. Live with someone for five years, it’s hard not to notice.”

“…………” Nara gave the back of the old lady’s head a look. “Um, Shingetsu, can I ask you something?”

“……What? Go right ahead, ask me anything.”

“Why do you act all scary around your granddaughter?”

“……Mm?” Shingetsu turned back, surprised.

“I was pretty nervous at first. She told me a lot about you before we arrived and made you sound terrifying.

“But once I met you, I realized you weren’t scary at all. I was taken aback.”

“…………”

“So why is that? Why can’t you act like this around Umidori? I’m sure she wouldn’t be so scared of you if you did.”

“…………”

Umidori’s grandmother just stared up at Nara, saying nothing.

At long last, she turned away.

“……Yoshino, what have you actually heard about Tougetsu’s mother?”

“……Mm?”

“You may not have met her today, but I’m sure Tougetsu told you a few things about her.”

“…………?” This question came out of nowhere, and Nara tilted her head. “……No, come to think of it, she’s barely told me anything. All I really know is she’s super young.

“I think Umidori mentioned it right after I met her, but she’s still in her mid-thirties, right?”

“She’s thirty-four,” Shingetsu said, her voice flat. “A year older by academic accounting. She had Tougetsu when she was seventeen, in her third year of high school.”

“……Um, so that’s…” Nara searched for the right word. “A shotgun wedding? If you’ll forgive the slang.”

“……That’s not strictly accurate.”

“Mm?”

“There was no wedding. Mangetsu never married. Tougetsu’s father vanished before his daughter was even born, and he hasn’t been seen since. I don’t even know what he looks like.”

“……………”

“……She dropped that bombshell on you right after you met?” The old lady let out a raspy chuckle. “I imagine you didn’t know how to react. Heh-heh-heh-heh. I am sorry; Tougetsu’s never been any good at gauging intimacy.”

“……It didn’t really bother me,” Nara said, scratching her cheek. “At the time, I couldn’t really picture it. I was only fifteen myself, and I couldn’t imagine giving birth only two years later.”

“……You’re better off that way. Children shouldn’t be having children,” Shingetsu sighed. “I had five myself. Mangetsu was the last of them, and my first girl.

“She was always shy, afraid to voice her opinions. So different from her brothers that I didn’t know what to do about her. She couldn’t make friends at school. I almost never saw her playing with anyone until at least junior high.”

“……And then she got pregnant out of nowhere in her second year of high school?”

“And I was fit to be tied.” Shingetsu made a face. “It was the last thing I ever expected from her. Not one person here saw it coming. Her father—my late husband—blew his top. ‘You can’t have it! You have to abort!’ He was adamant.”

“……Well, I guess some people would argue for that. It’s a grown-up perspective.”

“If I’m honest, I shared his sentiments. There’s nothing pretty about childbirth. She was not remotely ready to raise the child, so taking pity on the baby and having it anyway—well, that would just be selfish.

“……But I also thought if she really, really, really wanted to have it, then why not let her? Even if she couldn’t raise the girl on her own, I figured we could help her. We’ve always had more money than most. Though perhaps that isn’t something I should bring up here.”

“……So what did Umidori’s mother say?”

“She really, really, really wanted to keep her.” Shingetsu nodded. “That was the first and last time I ever saw my daughter that insistent. No matter how mad her father got, she wouldn’t back down. Not only that, but she swore she wouldn’t accept any help from someone who’d demanded she abort, swore she was going to raise the baby on her own. She left Himeji with Tougetsu and dropped out of high school.”

“……And that worked out?”

“……If it had, would she have wound up back here six years ago?”

Umidori’s grandmother sounded especially sad.

“It stands to reason. A pampered girl, brought up sheltered, was never gonna make it out in the real world with a newborn at seventeen.”

“………Um, Shingetsu, this certainly clarifies a few things about Umidori’s birth,” Nara said. “But how does this relate to the way you act around her?”

“…………”

“……Shingetsu?”

“……I don’t know.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know how someone like me should act around her.” Umidori’s grandmother didn’t even glance back. “I’ve got no right to act like her grandmother.”

“……………?”

“Don’t you see, Yoshino? When Mangetsu and Tougetsu were out there, struggling, I didn’t lift a finger. Mangetsu worked herself until she collapsed; now she’s holing up in her room, and I played a huge part in that.

“How can someone like me go around acting like a normal doting grandma? I don’t deserve that position.”

She sure was harsh on herself.

“While Umidori was living here, I did my best to stay uninvolved. If she took that as ‘terrifying,’ then I suppose I am. I’m hardly about to fight that impression now.”

“…………”

Nara stared silently at the old woman’s back.

“……Um,” she said after a long while, sounding exasperated. “Let’s unpack that a bit. ’Cause I don’t get it at all.”

“……Oh?”

“It’s not even an excuse. You’ve got no right? You don’t deserve it? What? You can solve the whole problem by just acting like a normal grandma!”

“…………!”

Umidori’s grandmother spun around to face her.

“H-huh? What do you mean? Did you hear a word I said? It’s not that easy to—”

“What you’ve told me makes it sound exactly that easy,” Nara said, looking the old lady right in the eye, dead serious. “I mean, Shingetsu, you’re just using those phrases as an excuse not to figure out how to relate to your granddaughter.”

“……?!”

Instantly…

Shingetsu’s cheeks turned bright red.

Her lips flapped like a goldfish.

“I can’t! I don’t! I have no clue what you’re talking about!”

“…………………Shingetsu.”

“Y-you’re not part of this family! You wouldn’t know! We’re done talking about this!”

“…………”

“……Come on, Yoshino! If you’re giving me a massage, get back to it! If you stop halfway, you’ll leave my shoulders itching!”

“……Suuure, fiiiine,” Nara drawled, getting back to work.

They don’t just look alike. They’re the same person inside as well.

“Whew, that was a good bath!”

A while later…

With steam rising from her body, Nara walked down the hall in her pajamas.

It’s ‘not that big’ my foot, Shingetsu. If that cypress tub is small, then the one we’ve got at home is a plastic pool! If Umidori wasn’t down for the count, we could easily have bathed together!

Still, I’m glad I got to talk to Shingetsu before the bath. That alone justified the visit to Himeji.

As her thoughts wandered, she headed toward her and Umidori’s room with a spring in her step…

“Ah!”

…and paused in her tracks, letting out a little yelp.

Maybe I should have asked Shingetsu about the other thing…

She’d remembered what Umidori had told her the other day.

“It’s my fault, too. She’s all messed up.”

“Living with a kid who can’t lie just wore her out. She hasn’t worked for ages now. That’s why she’s convalescing in her mother’s house.”

What did that mean? Shingetsu said her mother’s holed up because she worked too much. Is that not Umidori’s take on it? Maybe this is something I should ask the lady herself.

“……Hmm?”

Just then—

Nara had stopped to think, but as she stood there, she heard a noise behind the sliding doors next to her.

“……?”

Tilting her head, she moved closer, putting an ear to the door.

—The sound grew more distinct; clearer.

“So what’s this about, Grandma?”

Human voices.

Human…or, well, Umidori’s voice.

“You asked me here, but I really just want to take a bath and go to bed.”

“……I know, Tougetsu, so this won’t take long.”

The other voice was clearly her grandmother’s.

“There’s just one thing I wanted to ask you. Once I hear your answer, you’re free to leave.”

“……? What?”

“Tougetsu, are you enjoying school?”

“Huh?”

“It’s an important question, and I need an answer. I made you come all the way home just to ask you this.

“How are you faring in Kobe? Is it as hard as it was when you lived here? Or has living alone changed things?”

“……………”

Yo, Yoshino.

As Nara listened, she heard a voice from inside her, speaking directly to her mind.

What’s up? Why’d you stop? Aren’t you headed to bed?

Nara just stayed there with her ear on the door, ignoring Envy Sakura’s question.

“……………Um,” Umidori said, after a brief silence. “I really don’t know why you’re asking that, Grandma, but… Should I just tell you what I think about my life now?”

“Exactly. I mean…that’s all you can do, right?”

“……Well, you have a point there,” Umidori admitted, clearly rattled. “Where do I begin? Grandma, the other day, we had an okonomiyaki party at my house.”

“…………Huh?” Shingetsu let out a noise. Almost a gasp. “A what? An okonomiyaki party?”

“Mm. We all cooked okonomiyaki on an electric griddle, sharing it. It was the night after term ended.”

“……You? Hosting a party?”

Umidori’s grandmother didn’t seem to grasp the meaning of the words.

“And ‘we all,’ so it wasn’t just Yoshino?”

“Oh, no. Nara and myself included, there were six of us.”

“…………?! S-six?!”

“But not friends from school. The other four I met elsewhere. There was also someone who should have joined us but couldn’t, and someone who might have joined us but didn’t.”

“…………”

For a long time, Shingetsu was at a loss for words.

This story must have been quite a shock for her.

“H-hold on, Tougetsu. Your grandma’s a bit lost. Friends that aren’t from school? Did you meet them at work? Are they all girls?”

“……! Er, um…” Umidori’s voice got a bit squeakier. “D-do I have to…? It doesn’t matter how…and yes, they’re all girls! Goes without saying!”

“……Tougetsu, I’m not trying to give you the third degree. I’m just surprised. For a girl like you to have that many friends over for a party…”

“……Yeah, I dunno about friends. Not all of them are particularly friendly…” Umidori sounded like she was shaking her head. “But I agree with you, Grandma. I can’t believe it myself. I never imagined I’d have so many people in my life.”

“……Tougetsu.”

“You knew, right? Through junior high, this condition stopped me from getting close to anyone in class. Quite the opposite. They’d all accuse me of being obnoxious or not taking a hint and would push me away. By the time I was fifteen, I’d just given up.

“I thought I’d never get along with anyone. I’d have to spend the rest of my life alone. I was telling myself that and trying to fill in the void in my heart with a weirdo proxy action.”

“……Proxy action?”

“……?! Er, um, that’s not a thing anymore!”

Umidori made a show of coughing unconvincingly.

“But, Grandma, that’s what’s so strange about it. Nara and the other people around me now? They all know about my condition, and it just doesn’t seem to bother them.

“They know I’m not normal. They know how weird I am, but they accept me anyway. They say I’m allowed to be with them.”

“…………”

“That’s such a nice place to be. It’s unreal how fulfilling it is. So my answer to your question, Grandma?

“Life is nothing like it was in Himeji. Every day is a blast. I’m so glad I left home and started living in Kobe.”

“……Umidori,” Nara whispered, outside the door.

……Uh, Yoshino? How long are you gonna stand there? Envy Sakura asked, clearly not getting it at all. What’s the point in eavesdropping? If you wanna hear this, then why not just step into the room?

“Envy Sakura…,” Nara said, glancing down at herself. “No, this is for the best,” she whispered. “I don’t need to go in. I’ve heard what I have to.”

……?

“We’d better go back, Envy Sakura. You have a point. I shouldn’t eavesdrop.”

“Huh? What?”

But…

Just as Nara was about to move away, she heard Umidori’s grandmother’s voice.

……Mm?

“Back up, Tougetsu. What did you say?”

“……Huh? Wh-what?”

“The last part. At the end. I can’t last that pass.”

“………………?”

“Most of that sounded really good. I was relieved to hear you’ve got people like that in your life. I was starting to be genuinely glad I’d chosen to let you live alone. But the last thing you said banished all that relief.”

“……What did I say?”

“—They allow you to be with them? That’s how you phrased it, right?” Shingetsu’s voice was very grim. “So let me ask you this, Tougetsu. What if they revoke that permission?”

“……Huh?”

“These people accept you now. But what if, say, Yoshino turned around and rejected you? What then? What would you do if they pushed you away? Would you just let that happen?”

“…………??”

Umidori let out a noise that made it clear she didn’t follow this at all.

“W-wait, what are you talking about? Did Nara say anything to you while I wasn’t around?”

“……No, absolutely not. She didn’t say a bad word about you.”

Shingetsu was quite firm on this point.

“I am only asking how you think. Even if you don’t fully get where I’m coming from, just take it as a hypothetical.”

“……A hypothetical?”

“If Yoshino rejected you, turned on you—what choice would you make?”

………………

……Yoshino? Envy Sakura asked, anxious. Wh-what’s wrong? Your shoulders are shaking!

“……………”

But Nara said nothing.

She just stood at the door, ears straining, not missing a word.

“……If? If that happened,” Umidori said, after a thoughtful silence, “……then it would all be over.”

She sounded almost indifferent.

“I doubt we’d ever speak again, let alone hang out. We’d just cut ties.”

“………Cut ties?” Shingetsu’s voice shook. “……Just like that? Even though she’s irreplaceable? Your best friend?”

“……She is irreplaceable,” Umidori said awkwardly. “But what else am I supposed to do? The basis of our relationship would be gone, so no matter how I felt, I would have to pull away.”

“……The basis?”

“Yes. This only works because Nara likes me.”

“……Huh?”

“Isn’t that obvious? Nara and I only get along because she likes me. If that’s no longer the case, then how can we keep going? I can’t keep seeing her. I’m not allowed.”

“………”

“Um, Grandma, you might have the wrong idea here, but Nara and I aren’t friends. We just get along.”

“…………Tougetsu.” Shingetsu’s voice sounded extremely sad. There was a long pause before she continued, forlornly. “Tougetsu, promise me one thing.”

“……What?”

“I understand the way you think. You’re free to think that, and I’m not about to argue the point.

“But don’t you ever say that to Yoshino.”

“…………Why not?” Umidori sounded baffled. “I mean, I don’t plan to, but what’s the problem?”

…………Yoshino.

“…………”

Nara’s face remained blank, but she’d slumped into a crouch.

5
Conflict and Capture

“It’s Bullshit-channel!”

A weekday afternoon.

Not a cloud in the sky.

At a shrine surrounded by forest.

Bullshit-chan was doing her opening spiel so loudly that her voice echoed across the entire grounds.

“Yoo-hoo! Welcome back, viewers! It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for: more Bullshit-channel!

“I’m your host, Bullshit-chan! Bull! Shit! Chan! The ‘chan’ is part of the name! All in hiragana: Bullshit-chan! My real name!”

With the main shrine behind her, Bullshit-chan was blathering away, swaying back and forth, her face hidden behind that cat mask.

“Now then, today’s video is gonna be a little different! It’s an emergency live stream! I’m here talking, and my voice is going out to viewers the world over in real time! Oh boy, am I nervous!”

Bullshit-chan waved both hands around to express that excitement.

“Honestly, I’m a little worried this is even working properly! How are we faring on that front, Umin? Is it broadcasting smoothly?”

“……Hng? Uh, um, I think so, Bullshit-chan,” said a tense voice from off-screen. “Honestly, I’m not really sure how to check, but we’re getting lots of comments, so I think it’s working.”

“Yep, that proves it! Thanks so much, Umin!” Bullshit-chan shot her a thumbs-up and turned back to the camera. “So let’s get this show on the road! First, take a good look at our location!”

Bullshit-chan threw both hands up.

“That’s right, we’re at a shrine! Specifically, this is XX Shrine, in the mountains off Arima Road, a ten-minute bus right from Sannomiya Station in Kobe’s Chuo Ward!

“But I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’m suddenly coming at you from a shrine! I can just see the chat filling up with questions! Rest assured, this stream contains no shocking twists! Bullshit-channel is not gonna abandon cooking in favor of touring shrines!”

She wasn’t reading from a script, but the words just flowed out of her like a jet stream. She had always been chatty but was now even more so. Clearly, she was turning all the dials up.

“Those of you with good instincts may have worked it out. If you’re at a shrine in summer, that can only mean one thing! Summer festivals!

“Aren’t festivals the best? Candy apples, cotton candy, baby castella! All things you don’t eat much in regular life, but pounce on once you hit up a festival. What’s up with that?

“But, chat, were you aware? It’s one thing to attend festivals and hit up all the stalls, but if you actually work the stalls, it’s even more fun!”

Bullshit-chan swirled her index finger around.

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Have you worked it out yet? I bet some of you have! That’s right, chat, I’ve got big news!

“Announcing Bullshit-channel’s emergency summer project! I, Bullshit-chan, will be running a stall right here at XX Shrine at the end of the month!”

She started clapping and cheering by herself.

“A stall! A festival stall! My very own shop! Naturally, I’ll be there cooking! Shocking, right?!

“Even more naturally, if you make your way here, chat, you’ll get to try my cooking for yourself! That’s actually the goal! Functionally speaking, this is my channel’s first-ever offline meetup! Perhaps an unorthodox format, but still!

“This whole time, I’ve wanted to meet my viewers and let you try my cooking for yourselves. This plan is making a personal dream come true! I’m sure some of you live too far away or are too busy to attend, but if you do make it here, I’ll be pleased as punch!

“I plan to man the stall all day long, so come right over and talk to me! But if you just talk and don’t buy anything, I’ll get sulky. LMAO!

“……Huh? What’s that? What kind of stall am I running?”

She cleared her throat dramatically.

“Ahem! Clear your ears and listen, chat! I’m serving up sobameshi!

“So! Ba! Me! Shi! Yakisoba and white rice fried up together! I’m sure you’ve all tried it at least once!

“Why did I pick sobameshi? Need I even say? Because this festival is right here in Kobe! And sobameshi is one of Kobe’s most famous local gourmet creations!”

She’d rattled all this off, and it was catching up with her. She paused to take a deep breath.

“Now then, that’s all the news I have today, so let’s see what the chat has to say. Hit me, Umin! What comments are our viewers leaving?”

“……Um, just a second,” the girl off-screen said. “……! Wow! There are so many comments already, Bullshit-chan!”

“Oh, really? Read a few out loud, Umin!”

“Um, okay. ‘Never saw this plan coming! I’m so gonna be there!’ ‘A chance to eat Bullshit-chan’s cooking? That’s wild!’ ‘Kobe? Can I make it there?’ ‘I’ll travel anywhere for you, Bullshit-chan.’ ‘That proves she lives in Kobe!’ ‘A chance to talk to Bullshit-chan in person? I’m so happy I could die!’”

“……Wow, everyone’s super excited! Good news!” Bullshit-chan cried, shaking with emotion. “By the way, Umin, that reminds me—I still haven’t introduced you to my viewers.”

“Huh?”

“I’m sure they’re all confused! ‘Who does that cute voice belong to?’ All previous Bullshit-channel videos only feature yours truly.

“So lemme introduce her! The girl I’m talking to right now, Umin! A provisional member of Bullshit-channel’s staff! Let’s give her a big round of applause!”

“Huh? Huh?!” The girl off-screen seemed super flustered. “Er, uh, hi, chat! I’m Umin, and I’m just helping out today!”

“Mwa-ha-ha! Well, chat, doesn’t she have the cutest voice ever? She made me promise she’d be sound only, but I swear she’s every bit as adorable as her voice.” Bullshit-chan was really hyping her up. “Umin’s a friend of mine, and she’ll be helping with the stall for this project! This will be my first time ever running a festival stall, and I just couldn’t risk doing it all on my own. I gotta borrow the hands of every friend or stray cat I can!

“Umin’s not just a cute face and voice! She works at the internet café by the station and knows how to handle customers right! That’s why I insisted she had to help me out!”

“……U-Umin here! M-my voice and face are not cute at all, but I will help keep the line moving! See you there!”

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! You’ll soon see just how cute she is, but don’t you dare hit on her, chat!” Bullshit-chan was clearly joking. “Now then, I’ve already said everything I have to say, so how do we fill the rest of this stream?”

With that, she dramatically beckoned to the girl behind the camera.

Like she was sending a signal.

“…………Bullshit-chan?”

This seemed to briefly confuse Umin.

“—Oh! C-crap, I forgot!” She gasped, then began muttering. “………………………Uh, um, Bullshit-chan. R-right, there were a few curious comments in the chat…”

“Oh? Curious how?” Bullshit-chan said, feigning surprise. “I’ve gotta know more! Read them out loud for us, Umin!”

“……S-sure. They’re about sobameshi…”

“……Sobameshi?”

“‘Huh? Is sobameshi really a Kobe dish?’ ‘You’re wrong there, Bullshit-chan. Sobameshi’s not from Kobe.’ ‘I’m pretty sure sobameshi’s from Kakogawa.’ ‘Totally Kakogawa!’ ‘I see people pointing it out, but sobameshi’s definitely from Kakogawa. They’re both Hyogo Prefecture, so it’s easy to confuse!’”

“……Huh?” Bullshit-chan said, tilting her head. “Sobameshi’s not from Kobe? It’s from Kakogawa? Pull the other one! Are those comments real? Chat’s really saying that?”

“……Y-yeah, quite a few people,” the camera girl admitted. “Wh-what now, Bullshit-chan? I-if they’re right, then you’ve just lied to everyone live on stream! Y-you’ve gotta apologize and issue a correction! I mean, if these comments are true.”

“……Eww, no, back up.” Bullshit-chan fluttered her hands theatrically. “I’m not lying! No matter what anyone else says, it’s a fact that sobameshi comes from Kobe!”

“……Oh?”

“Sorry to anyone making corrections, but I’m convinced I’m right and won’t be taking it back.”

“……Uh, okay? A-are you sure about this, Bullshit-chan?” The performance of the girl off-screen was a bit wooden. “I-if you turn out to be wrong, what then? And it’s not just one person pointing this out! D-do you think they’re all wrong?”

“Basically, yes. Facts are facts!”

“……Y-you sure are confident! Do you have any proof you’re right?”

“I don’t need proof! It’s obvious!” Bullshit-chan puffed up her chest. “Plus, Kakogawa already has a famous local dish. What was it called again? Beef katsu on white rice with demi-glace sauce……”

“……O-oh, katsumeshi?” the girl off-screen managed. “I—I think that is a Kakogawa dish. Um, but what about it? That fact doesn’t prove that sobameshi isn’t from Kakogawa. There’s no rule saying a city can only have one local dish!”

“……Can you even hear yourself, Umin?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, it’s Kakogawa. Kakogawa,” Bullshit-chan scoffed. “I hate to be this way, but no way does Kakogawa have multiple local dishes. It’s common sense!”

“……! I-it is?!”

“Katsumeshi alone is more than enough for Kakogawa. If it was Himeji, maybe I’d allow it, but it’s a rinky-dink little town, not exactly the top of Banshu. Kobe’s a proper city by government ordinance, and trying to steal their dishes is just presumptuous!”

“……Are you sure about this, Bullshit-chan?” The girl off-screen sounded anxious. “This is a worldwide broadcast! You’re pissing Kakogawa people off!”

“No matter how furious Kakogawa natives get, I can only speak the facts as I see them. From the bottom of my heart, I know this to be true: sobameshi is a Kobe dish. If I changed my tune here, I’d be a liar, liar, pants on fire.

“If you ask me, the real liar is anyone claiming Kobe dishes belong to Kakogawa.”

“……Will this actually work, Bullshit-chan?” Umidori whispered, eyes on the screen of her phone.

It was replaying the video of Bullshit-chan blathering away on the shrine grounds, cat mask on.

This was the archive video of the first ever Bullshit-channel live stream.

“Nothing to worry about, Umidori,” Bullshit-chan swore, her voice exactly like the tone she’d used on stream.

But she had taken the cat mask off, revealing cheeks slightly flushed from excessive chattering.

“Umidori—Umin—you helped me cover everything I wanted to cover on this broadcast. My trap is set. We’ll bait out the Kakogawa Beliar with it!”

“……A trap, huh?” Umidori said, eyes on the replay. “Um, I get the plan. And, like we promised, we’ll be running a sobameshi stand at the festival here. The stand itself is totally normal, and if Bullshit-channel fans come by, you’ll treat them accordingly—”

“But that’s not our real goal! All we really want is for the Kakogawa Beliar to reveal themselves!” Bullshit-chan grinned. “If tracking them down is too hard, we just have to make them come to us! It’s the simplest plan around!

“I just streamed myself live to the world, declaring that sobameshi is a Kobe dish in no uncertain terms. Naturally, my channel doesn’t have all that many viewers, so perhaps this won’t reach a particularly wide audience…”

“……But the Kakogawa Beliar must be paying close attention to any discussion of this topic, and they’re bound to notice.” Umidori nodded. “This video certainly ought to get under their skin. A girl unaffected by their falsification is directly challenging it, in a video available for the whole world to see.”

“Exactly. And the Beliar will be so rattled, they’ll have to come waltzing up to this shrine. I pose a threat to their falsification, and they’ll need to do something about me. Little does the Kakogawa Beliar know that this shrine will be their grave.”

“……So once the Kakogawa Beliar reveals themselves, we’ll turn the tables on them.” Umidori nodded, impressed. “You really thought this through, Bullshit-chan. When you first said you wanted to run a festival stall, I didn’t know what you were talking about. I thought you’d lost it!

“But this sounds like it’ll work out, and even if we come up empty, it’s not like we’re risking anything. It’s a super-smart plan. You are the master fallicider!”

“Heh-heh, do go on,” Bullshit-chan purred. “Then again, I got knocked out by some vegetable oil and was useless for an entire fight once, so if I don’t prove myself here, I’ll be stripped of my master fallicider title.”

“……I’m surprised you could get the paperwork handled that quick. Don’t you need to apply for these things way early?”

“Kudo bailed me out on that front.”

“She did?”

“She once ran a Chinese restaurant that she inherited from her dad. I figured she’d have connections with the people running this festival, and so I hit her up. That hunch paid off.”

“……Oh, okay. She got you squeezed in, then?”

“And Kudo herself will be helping run the stall on the day. I swear, it never hurts to have helpful professional chefs in your pocket! Honestly, my first encounter with her could not have been worse, but now that’s a distant memory, like the taste of pencils.”

“…………”

“……Mm? What’s wrong, Umidori?” Bullshit-chan asked, puzzled by the sudden silence. “Something bugging you about the plan?”

“……Not exactly,” she said, still watching the archive video. “I’m just worried this video is a bit over the top.”

“……? How so?”

“You’re really winding Kakogawa up. ‘No way does Kakogawa have multiple local dishes.’ ‘A rinky-dink little town, not exactly the top of Banshu.’ I tell you in the video Kakogawa people will get pissed off, and I mean it!”

“……You’re not wrong,” Bullshit-chan said, scratching her cheek. “But it’s a necessary evil. I mean, pissing off Kakogawa people is the goal!”

“……I mean, I know.” Umidori shook her head. “But personally, I don’t really want to smack-talk Kakogawa.”

“You don’t? Why not?”

“……There’s a shop in Motomachi where I often get lunch. It’s called Katsu Messiah—they specialize in katsumeshi.”

“……Katsu Messiah?” Bullshit-chan said, crooking her head. “I feel like I’ve heard that name before… Still, I’m surprised. You are the furthest thing from a picky eater, but for you to actually have a favorite shop…”

“Mm. This is my first time becoming a regular anywhere. It’s just that good. There’s always a line around the place at peak hours.

“And it’s not just good katsumeshi; the lady running it is super nice. She’s still pretty young, and she’s beautiful, but every time I show up, she personally thanks me for coming so often. I really like her.”

“……Huh, well, naming sense aside, it takes a skilled chef to make a shop so successful with only one dish on the menu.”

“But if she’s only serving katsumeshi, I assume she must be from Kakogawa. That’s why I don’t really like talking shit about the place. It feels like I’m picking on her, and that’s not right.”

“……I wouldn’t know,” Bullshit-chan said, clearly not the least bit interested in this argument. “No matter where the proprietor of Katsu Messiah hails from, it’s unrelated to our need for fallicide. I’m simply carrying out the best plan I’ve got to exterminate the Kakogawa Beliar. See?”

“……I do, it’s just…” Umidori shifted her gaze, looking for help. “______Nara, what do you think? Isn’t that video going a bit too far?”

“……………”

Yoshino Nara was standing right next to her.

“……………”

Her hands were in her pockets, her lips were pursed, and she was gazing absently at the main shrine building.

She’d been there the whole time they had been talking and the whole time they had been filming the video.

And had not spoken one word for the entire duration.

“………………? Nara?”

“……………”

Still, she did not answer.

Umidori gave her a worried glance, but her friend still wouldn’t look her way.

Completely unresponsive.

“……Um, Nara, what’s wrong?” Bullshit-chan asked, getting worried herself. “You’ve been out of it all day. Are you depressed? Sick?”

“…………No,” Nara said, breaking her silence at last. “I’m not sick at all. Hunky-dory.”

Her voice was as bright as ever, the words dancing off her tongue.

“That sure was a beautiful sight, Bullshit-chan. I’ve never seen someone film a video before! It’s like a glimpse into a whole new world. It’s the last thing I expected when you asked us to meet you at a shrine.”

“…………”

“……Mm? What’s wrong, Bullshit-chan?”

“…………Um,” the white-haired lie said, taken aback by Nara’s switch from silent to peppy. “Well, if you’re feeling fine, then fine.”

“……More importantly, Bullshit-chan, we should focus on the task at hand,” Nara said, still sounding like her usual self. “I get that we’ve laid a trap for the Kakogawa Beliar. I think it’s a good plan and would love to help. But what, specifically, do you have in mind? For me and Envy Sakura?”

“……Good question,” Bullshit-chan said, shifting awkwardly. “I guess I’m planning on having the two of you patrol the shrine grounds. Since I’m the bait, I’ll be stuck at the stall.”

“I see. So once this Kakogawa Beliar takes that bait, we finish her off.” Nara thumped a fist on her palm. “In that case, you can count on us. I’m not about to let them get away with this! And I hardly believe this sneak thief is a match for my Envy Sakura.”

“……Also, if we manage to take out the Kakogawa Beliar early, I’d love the two of you to help with the stall.”

“……Really?”

“Yeah, we’ve got the stall anyway, so it might be fun for everyone to work it.”

“……Hmm, ‘everyone,’” Nara growled. A loaded intonation. “……Sure, why not? It’s your stall, so I’ve got no reason to decline. Not that Envy Sakura will be all that useful…

“……So? Is that all on the agenda?”

With that, Nara glanced at the shrine stairs.

“If so, I’m gonna bail early today. Got some homework to take care of.”

“…………”

“Mm? Bullshit-chan? Gonna need an answer there.”

“……Nara, what’s gotten into you today?”

“……What do you mean? I’m my usual self!”

“______W-wait, Nara!” Umidori yelped, clearly unable to bear it. She leaned in, inspecting Nara’s face, clearly concerned. “Wh-why are you ignoring my question?”

“…………”

“……?! C-can you not hear me?!”

“……Well, Bullshit-chan,” Nara said, point-blank ignoring Umidori. “Seems like you’ve got nothing else to say, so I’ll be going. Lemme know if anything else crops up.”

……………

“……What’d you do?”

Nara was in the wind.

They were still in the shrine.

Bullshit-chan was giving Umidori an accusatory stare.

“……I dunno,” Umidori wailed, shaking her head. “I was really hoping it was all in my head, but now I’m sure of it.”

She stared down the shrine stairs after Nara.

“She’s been in a bad mood ever since the second day of our trip to Himeji.”

“……Yoshino, did something unpleasant happen to you?”

“……Mm?” Nara was washing her hands. She turned her expressionless face to look over her shoulder. “Mom? Unpleasant? Not particularly.”

“……You’ve been in the dumps for several days now,” Nara’s mom said, standing in the washroom door, wearing an apron.

“……I have? Not that I’m aware of.”

“……Did you and Umidori have a fight on your trip to Himeji?”

“…………”

That provoked a brief silence.

“……Not a fight,” she said, her voice flat. “We’re not close enough to have fights.”

……………………

“……Argh, I just wanna punch something!”

Nara was now lying in bed, glaring up at her ceiling.

“I keep saying I’m fine, so why does everyone wanna fuss over me?!”

—Beep beep beep.

“…………Mm?”

She looked for the source of the electronic tone.

Her phone was ringing.

The screen read UMIDORI.

“…………”

Nara stared at her phone in silence for a long time, letting it ring, but it showed no signs of stopping.

“……Ugh,” she groaned. She picked up the phone, tapped the ANSWER button, and held it to her ear. “………………Hello?”

“—Oh! Hello, Nara?! Thank goodness, the call finally went through!”

A relieved voice echoed over the line.

“Uh, um, do you have time to talk?”

“……I guess,” Nara said, rolling back in bed. She sounded annoyed. “What is it? More updates on the stall?”

“……………No, not that.” Umidori hesitated, like she was trying to work out how to begin. “Listen, Nara, did I do something to you?”

“……Huh?” Nara snapped. “Like what?”

“……Um, I don’t really know, which is why I’m calling,” Umidori said ruefully. “I—I mean, you were acting funny the whole time we were at the shrine. I might be slow on the uptake, but even I can tell when someone’s that obvious.”

“…………”

“When was it? During our visit to my family’s house, right? Did I blow it there?”

“…………”

“I mean, you only get this mad if it’s really bad, Nara. And I really don’t want that. But I can’t exactly apologize if I don’t even know why you’re mad at me.”

“…………I’m not mad,” Nara said, sounding fed up. “I just got my hopes up and had them dashed. About you, but not at you.”

“……Huh?”

“……Look, I’ll just come out and say it,” Nara sighed, angrily mussing her hair. “On the way back from the bath, I happened to eavesdrop. You and Shingetsu were talking about life in Kobe.”

“………You heard me talking to Grandma?” Umidori sounded perplexed. “I remember talking to her about how much fun school was now.”

“……That’s the one. Sorry, Umidori, I knew it was wrong to listen in, but the devil got hold of me.”

“……That’s totally fine,” Umidori said, baffled. “Uh, so what? What about the conversation?”

“……Yeah, not shocked you still don’t get it.” Nara sighed (her poker face never broke). “But, Umidori, remember what Shingetsu told you? ‘Don’t you ever say that to Yoshino.’”

“……Oh,” Umidori said, after a long silence. “I guess she did say something like—”

“So that’s all there is to it, Umidori,” Nara said, cutting her off. “Shingetsu was right. I didn’t wanna hear what you said. I didn’t want to know how you think.”

“……Huh?”

“Obviously, you’ve got a right to your opinion. I’m the one who was eavesdropping; the fault is mine. So I’m not mad at you. I just can’t get my own feelings in line.”

“……? Hang on, I don’t understand.” Umidori sounded completely confused. “Can we start from the top? What part of that conversation upset you? I didn’t say anything weird at all.”

“That’s the problem!” Nara yelled, snapping. “You don’t even get why that would upset me, and that’s what’s so damn galling!”

“……………??”

“And why do you even care if you understand?” Nara sighed. “Umidori, you don’t even like me.”

“……Huh?!”

“So why bother? What does it matter if there’s friction between us or if I turn on you?”

“……?? W-wait a sec, where’s this coming from?” Umidori wailed. “Why would you think I don’t like you? I didn’t say anything like that to Grandma!”

“…………”

“Being with you is really nice. It’s unreal how fulfilling it is. It’s a blast! I meant every word I said! I can’t bear having things messed up between us—”

“That’s not true, Umidori.”

“……Huh?”

“You’ve just convinced yourself of that. You don’t like me nearly as much as you say. I’m just not that important to you.”

“……?! Wh-what are you talking about? Nara, why would you know better than me?!”

“……Lemme put it this way, Umidori.” Nara sounded exhausted. “If I said I wanted to cut ties with you, what would you do?”

“……………Huh?!”

“If I refused to talk to you in class and said I hate you now. If I just up and ended things right here and now, what then?”

“…………!”

Umidori let out a gasp, shocked.

“……Uh. Huh? Nara, you’re ending things? Wh-why?”

“I didn’t say I was. This is a hypothetical. Shingetsu asked you the same thing. What would you do?”

“…………W-well.” Umidori got quiet for a minute, the words sticking in her throat. “……I’d have to accept it. If you don’t like me anymore, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“See? The same thing you told Shingetsu. That proves you don’t actually like me.”

“……Huh?”

“Because you don’t really care about me, you’re fine saying something that awful. You don’t even realize how awful it is, which makes it even worse.”

“……! Wh-what?!”

Umidori’s voice was starting to get pretty loud, too.

“You’re not making any sense, Nara! What are you talking about?! It’s the other way around!”

“……Huh? How so?”

“The reason I’d pull away if you ever turned on me is because I care about you! The last thing I want is to hurt you!” Umidori cried, her voice quivering. “If you cut ties, I’d be super sad about it. But my feelings don’t matter! The only thing that matters is that it’s my fault you got hurt!”

“…………”

“……You’re made of strong stuff, Nara. My words bounce right off you. I learned that in April. That’s the only reason we’re still together. But if this hypothetical Nara was actually hurt by something I said, then I wouldn’t hesitate to disappear.

“I mean, I’m not normal. I’m not allowed to have normal friends. Not when I can’t lie…”

“……………”

“That’s why I’m trying so hard to regain the ability to lie—so that never happens! I’m doing everything I can to be normal again. Why don’t you get that, Nara? I thought you, of all people, understood that about—”

“—Drop dead!” Nara screeched, her voice shaking the room. “Die! Die, die, die, die! I wish you were dead!”

“……Huh?”

“I don’t know you anymore! Argh, I wanna punch something! I’ve never felt this bad in all my life!”

Nara was gasping for air now.

“I don’t even know how you can miss the point so hard! Are you trying to piss me off?!”

“……?! Uh, um, Nara……?!”

“……Ugh, now I’m dead sure of it. We just ‘get along.’ We’re not friends. All this time, I just thought that was all in your head, that it was a semantics problem.

“……Boy, was I wrong. Our relationship really wasn’t that strong. Nowhere near ‘friends.’”

“…………S-stop, Nara.” Umidori’s voice was almost a squeak. “Wh-why are you saying this? I-if I said the wrong thing, I’m sorry……”

“……Apologizing isn’t gonna fix this.” Nara sighed. “Look, Umidori, right now our priority has to be the Kakogawa Beliar. We shouldn’t be hashing this out right now.

“But once the new term begins, we need to sit down and rethink our relationship.”

“……………Oh?”

“Carrying on the way we have been is killing me.”

Time flowed on.

It was now August—the day of the festival.

“Yo! Ho! Hah!”

Bullshit-chan’s cries echoed around the evening shine.

She had a teko in each hand and was standing over a griddle, mixing yakisoba and white rice beneath a sign that read KOBE SPECIALTY! SOBAMESHI-CHAN!

“Voila!”

Bullshit-chan looked a bit different today.

For one, she was not wearing her trademark cat-ear hoodie.

Instead, she had on a yukata, white as the driven snow.

“Ready to serve!”

She clapped the teko together with a cheery cry. Her smile was bright enough to light up the night.

“……Yo, what’s that stall?” “That girl’s running it solo?” “She’s sure good with her hands.” “And she’s a real cutie!” “Food looks good, too…”

A white-haired girl in a white yukata certainly caught the eye, and she was swiftly plating up the sobameshi, too. This was bound to draw a crowd. And it wasn’t just the festival goers who had taken notice; even the other stall workers had their eyes on “Sobameshi-chan,” and were whispering about her.

The sun had not yet set, but the row of stalls was already packed. This festival was held in the Chou Ward, and it was never short on attendees.

“Wow! Thank you! This looks great!”

“Amazing! We’re actually about to eat Bullshit-chan’s food!”

Two shrill girls were among the crowd before Sobameshi-chan.

They were both around junior high age, wearing yukata.

The girls gazed at the stall’s proprietor with sparkling eyes.

“Heh-heh, thank you both!” Bullshit-chan said bashfully. “You came here from Osaka, I’ve gotta make you something extra special. You came such a long way—I can’t thank you enough.”

“It was nothing!”

“Exactly! If it means we get to meet you, we’d even go to Shiga or Wakayama!”

The girl’s voices were bubbling with excitement.

“We just love your videos so much, Bullshit-chan! We watch them all the time! It’s such a thrill to actually meet you!”

“S-seeing you in the flesh…I thought I might go blind! You’re so cute without the mask! That yukata looks amazing, too!”

“……Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! You sure know how to flatter a girl!” Bullshit-chan said, scratching her cheek, clearly tickled pink. “I’m really happy I got a chance to meet you both, too! I can only make it as a streamer because people like you are watching! Also, this yukata is a rental. I had to match the festival vibes.”

She waved her hands, showing off the long sleeves.

“But more importantly, sobameshi! You’ve made it here, so let’s get you some piping hot food!

“Take it away, Umin!”

“…………”

“……Umin?”

“……Huh?”

Umidori had been standing stock still, only reacting when Bullshit-chan called her name a second time.

She was not wearing a yukata, just ordinary street clothes.

“……Uh, wh-what, Bullshit-chan?”

“……So I have to explain?” Bullshit-chan said. “Pack up the sobameshi and hand it to the girls! That’s your job here, Umin!”

“……! Oh, r-right! Sorry!”

Umidori grabbed some plastic containers and began scooping sobameshi into them.

………………

“……Are you doing alright, Umidori?” Bullshit-chan asked once the girls had left. She sounded worried. “You look like you’re about to drop dead. This isn’t the kind of face you usually wear when you’re working a crowd.”

“……Sorry, Bullshit-chan,” Umidori moaned, hanging her head.

“Jeez, I was feeling delighted after talking to my viewers, and you’re being a wet blanket.”

“………”

“……Look, I get why.” Bullshit-chan sighed. “You haven’t spoken to Nara since the phone call, right?”

“……No. Even if I try, she just ignores me.”

“……She even sulks like a little girl. I tried mediating, but she won’t let me in. ‘This is between us,’ she said. This is your first big fight, right?” Bullshit-chan asked.

“……Is that what this is?” Umidori whispered, head down. “……I feel like she’s just turned on me.”

“……Arghhh! That is not what’s happening here!” Bullshit-chan wailed. She slapped Umidori on the back. “How many times do I have to say it?! Nara would never turn on you! Stop being such a Negative Nancy!”

“…………”

“It’ll work out, Umidori. I promise, I’ll do everything in my power to help you two make up,” Bullshit-chan said in her most encouraging tones. “For now, put Nara out of your mind and let’s focus on the Kakogawa Beliar. Even as we speak, they may well be creeping up on us!”

Her eyes darted around, scanning the assembled crowd.

“We can safely rule out those girls, but…we’ll soon find out if the Kakogawa Beliar spotted our trap or not.”

—But even as Bullshit-chan muttered away…

—Bullshit-chan!

A girl’s voice echoed inside her mind.

“…………Mm?” Bullshit-chan blinked, putting a hand to her head. “……? That voice… Saladette?”

That’s right! I’m Saladette Canola! The voice was bright and cheerful. Sorry, Bullshit-chan! I hate to get all telepathic while you’re working!

“No, that’s totally fine. What do you want?”

……Well, Bullshit-chan, we’ve got a bit of a situation.

“……Oh?”

Sorry, but we’ll need you to shut Sobameshi-chan down and come to the back of the main shrine building. I’m here with Togari.

She seemed rather flustered.

—Brace yourself for this, Bullshit-chan. We’ve captured the Kakogawa Beliar!

“……! Y-you’ve what?!” Bullshit-chan yelped, flabbergasted.

6
Kakogawa and XXXX

Bullshit-chan and Umidori hurried over to the back of the shrine, where Saladette was waiting.

Naturally, there were no stalls here.

This one section of the festival grounds was weirdly quiet, as if cut off from the rest of the hubbub.

“Mmm! Mmm!”

—And behind the building lay someone trussed up on the ground.

Duct tape was wrapped around both her hands, and there was a paper bag over her head.

Another piece of tape was covering her mouth, preventing her from speaking at all.

“……Wh-what’s going on?!” Bullshit-chan gasped as the victim wriggled like a caterpillar.

“Like I said, this is the Kakogawa Beliar,” Togari intoned behind her. “We ensured she could not get away. We didn’t just resort to tape; I also used my telepathy to poke her brain. It’ll be a while before she can stand up at all. There’s no possibility of her escaping.”

“……Nope, nope!” Bullshit-chan wailed, wincing. She spun around. “Back all the way up. Is this lady really the Kakogawa Beliar? How are you so sure?”

“She was talking to herself,” Saladette answered. “Very suspiciously.”

“…………What was she saying, specifically?”

“Like you suggested, I cast a telepathic web over the entire shrine. Despite the circumstances, this was an invasion of privacy, and I was none too keen on the task, but this woman’s mutterings tripped my net. A stroke of luck I didn’t let it pass unnoticed.”

“And when Saladette told me, I went right to her and smacked her with my best telepathic attack!” Togari boasted. “Saladette’s telepathy is specced for range and mine for power! The dual-telepathic living- ingredient duo saves the day! Heh-heh, feel free to lay on the praise, Bullshit-chan.”

“……Nope, nope, nope,” Bullshit-chan shouted, shaking her head. “You’ve gotta be kidding me! You just heard her muttering to herself, decided she was the Kakogawa Beliar, and kidnapped her?! What if she’s an innocent bystander?”

“……I highly doubt that,” Togari said, scratching her cheek. “I mean, she was muttering ‘Kakogawa, Kakogawa, Kakogawa’ the whole time.”

“……Oh?”

“Saladette heard it loud as day. There wasn’t anyone else around, but she was muttering that word on a loop!

“No rational person would ever do that. It’s irrevocable proof! No one unaffiliated with Kakogawa would have any need to say that word at all. This lady is clearly the Kakogawa Beliar.”

“……Uh-huh.” Bullshit-chan was still deeply unsure of this. “N-no, that doesn’t really prove anything… If just whispering the name of a town gets you tied up, the world is truly doomed. Even the Mud Hat faction isn’t this extreme!

“……Still, what’s done is done. You’ve already tied her up.”

Bullshit-chan let out an exasperated sigh, then turned to the lady at her feet.

“……The process that led to this boggles the mind, but…Saladette, Togari, your bold choices do seem to have paid off,” she said, eyes narrowing. Her little nose twitched, like she was sniffing the air. “Just looking at her, I can tell… She smells delicious.”

An impish grin stole over her lips.

She knelt down beside the lady.

“Let’s get a look at you,” she said, yanking off the bag.

Then she tore off the tape covering the lady’s mouth.

“—Gasp!”

A woman’s face. Mid-twenties.

It was midsummer, and she’d had a bag on her head, which left her very sweaty and panting.

“Hahh, hahh, hahh, hahh……!”

“……I see, a grown woman.” Bullshit-chan nodded. “I figured as much from her clothing and groaning before unmasking her.”

“—Wh-who are you people?!” she wailed, clearly terrified. “What’s going on? Why?! What are you planning to do to me?”

“……Please, calm down,” Bullshit-chan said pleasantly. “We mean you no direct harm.

“Um, I should begin with introductions. My name is Bullshit-chan.”

“……Huh?!”

“Bullshit-chan. The ‘chan’ is part of the name. All in hiragana—Bullshit-chan. My real name. As you are well aware! You require no introductions, do you?” She grinned. “I must apologize. My friends were rather rough! But do not be concerned. We are hardly a threat.”

“……A-are you kidding me?!” the lady yelled, spitting. “How can I not be concerned?! I—I was just walking around a festival, and you attacked me! Tied me up! And I’ve got this awful headache…”

“……………”

“Y-you all may be kids, but this is way beyond any mere prank! This is a matter for the police!”

“……Hmm, a prank, is it?” Bullshit-chan said, smiling into the spittle. “That’s our line, Kakogawa Beliar.”

“……Huh?”

“Fine talk from the very lady stealing Kobe’s local delicacies.”

“…………?!”

The woman went pale.

Shocked, she gave Bullshit-chan a wide-eyed stare.

“……Y-you’re kidding? H-h-h-how do you know…?!”

“Hmph, nailed it in one,” Bullshit-chan sighed. “No use feigning innocence now. We’re on to you!”

“……And that’s a basic rundown of the truth about lies.”

A few minutes later, Bullshit-chan was giving the lady on the ground an icy look.

“Did you follow all of that, Kakogawa Beliar?”

“……Wh-why, I never!” she gasped, hands still bound behind her.

Bullshit-chan had helped her sit up, so she was no longer lying in a heap but sitting upright.

“Th-the Belied? Manifest lies? Wh-what?! I—I can’t believe it! It never even occurred to me that anyone else might have this strange power!”

“……I appreciate your confusion, but accept the facts,” Bullshit-chan said, her voice low. “Kakogawa Beliar, at this point, you must have realized why we captured you.”

“…………!”

“Like I just said, I am Bullshit-chan: a manifest lie who survives by devouring other lies. Naturally, the video you must have seen was not just advertising my stall here.

“It was a trap designed to capture the nefarious Beliar attempting to pilfer all of Kobe’s local dishes, bringing them to Kakogawa instead! We needed to draw you out and make you show yourself.”

“A-a trap?!” the woman gasped. “Y-you mean that absurd video was always meant to trick me into coming to this festival?!”

“Mwa-ha-ha! Well? Quite an amusing production, wasn’t it?”

“……! N-not in the slightest!” the woman roared, veins throbbing. “I’ll never forget the shock it gave me! It had tens of thousands of plays by the time I spotted it! If I let a video like that stay up, it would destroy all my plans!”

“……So what was your plan? Find my stall and demand I take the video down?” Bullshit-chan scowled. “Yes, you seem to be quite a dangerous Beliar. You’d do anything for your goal, only caring about your desires, not paying any heed to the consequences. Self-righteous, unfit for society. A classic Beliar personality.

“Honestly, even without my personal need to consume lies, I could not very well let someone like you roam free. I don’t care how much you love Kakogawa; I cannot allow you to claim Kobe’s dishes in its name.”

“…………!”

“……Now then, it’s your turn to speak,” Bullshit-chan said, looking the lady right in the eyes. “Kakogawa Beliar, what possessed you to do something this absurd? And what is your real name?”

“…………”

The lady bit her lip but said not a word.

“…………?”

—But this whole time, someone had been staring at her curiously.

Tougetsu Umidori.

“……? What’s wrong, Umidori?” Bullshit-chan asked, finally noticing. “You’ve had your eyes locked on the Kakogawa Beliar’s face. Is there something on your mind?”

“……Well, I guess?” Umidori said. “I could swear I’ve seen her somewhere before.”

“……Oh?”

“But I can’t quite place her… It’s on the tip of my tongue,” she muttered, not sounding confident.

“Yo, Bullshit-chan!” another girl yelled, coming around the corner.

A short girl—only 4'5"—with orange hair.

Ryoko Kudo came running up to Bullshit-chan, breathing heavily. She must have run all the way here.

“I—I just got a telepathic alert from Saladette! You’ve seriously nabbed the Kakogawa Beliar?!”

“……Kudo,” Bullshit-chan said, turning to her, surprised. “Yes, we have. Didn’t realize you were here. You said you had work and wouldn’t arrive until after sundown.”

“……Yeah, but they let me out early. No one shops for groceries on festival days,” Kudo said, eyes roaming. “So? Where’s this Kakogawa Beliar at? The lady on the ground here?”

“……Right you are, Kudo. Togari and Saladette captured her, and she’s admitted to it. We were just about to question her.”

“……Haah, so this is our perp?” Kudo sighed, moving closer and taking a good look. “She’s still pretty young but looks normal enough. Regular girls like her pulling psycho moves? You never can tell with humans.”

But the moment she got close enough, Kudo let out a squeak.

“…………Erp?” She froze on the spot, eyes on the Beliar’s face.

“……Kudo? What’s wrong?”

“…………You’ve gotta be kidding,” Kudo whispered, ignoring Bullshit-chan’s question. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“…………??”

“—Ah!” Just then, Umidori let out a cry. “I—I finally placed her! I remember now!”

Much like Kudo, she locked her eyes on the Beliar.

“B-but why? Why would she be here?!”

“……I could say the same thing,” the bound lady said, clearly the most surprised of them all. “Ryoko? And the girl with the black hair—you’re the high school girl who often stops by my restaurant!”

“……Hang on a minute, I’m lost,” Bullshit-chan said. “Kudo? Umidori? You know this lady?”

“Yeah, I know her well.” Kudo nodded. “She’s a friend of mine.”

“……Huh?”

“I told you about her. She’s Yonene Katsurahama. Owner and chef at Motomachi’s katsumeshi restaurant, Katsu Messiah.”

“……Now this is a surprise,” Bullshit-chan said, sighing. “The last thing I ever expected. I’ve been a fallicider for a long time, but this has to be the biggest twist yet.

“I can’t believe the Kakogawa Beliar is from Kobe, not Kakogawa!”

“……I think I’ve been to Katsu Messiah myself,” Nara said.

She’d answered Saladette’s telepathic summons last and had run a long way here; her face was streaked with sweat. “That’s the place in the shopping plaza at Motomachi, right? Umi— Someone took me there for lunch recently. There was a huge line outside, and it didn’t seem like we’d ever get in, so we had to eat somewhere else. I get that happening at a ramen shop, but a line that long at a katsumeshi shop—I was astounded.”

“……But that’s hardly the shocking thing here,” Togari said, sounding puzzled. “If she’s a Kobe citizen, then this lady’s shop is also in Kobe, right? If she’s got a shop that only serves katsumeshi, I assume she must have been born in Kakogawa…”

“Not true,” Kudo said, cutting her off. “Yonene was born and raised in Kobe. She’s a Kobe girl! No connections to Kakogawa at all. I know her parents well, so I can be sure of that.”

“……? Her parents?”

“They’re chefs, too. Got their own place right here in Kobe. I’ve been there a bunch of times, since you learn a lot by eating other chefs’ food. They run a French restaurant.”

“……Huh? French?” Saladette yelped. “That’s wild. Her parents run a French restaurant, but she opened a katsumeshi shop?”

“……Is this remotely relevant?” Envy Sakura asked, clearly bored.

She’d arrived with her host, Nara, but without a single bead of sweat—proof that she was no human, but a manifest lie.

“It doesn’t matter if she lives in Kakogawa or Kobe. Either way, she’s still the Kakogawa Beliar. We need merely string her up, feed her to the cat, and that’s all she wrote. Right?”

“……Hold your horses, Envy Sakura. No need to rush things. We’ve already got her captured,” Kudo said, gently fending her off.

She took a knee next to the bound lady—Yonene Katsurahama.

“……Sup, Yonene. Been a while.” Kudo said, looking her right in the eye. “When did we last go drinking together? You been good? Didn’t think this would bring us back together.”

“……Ryoko,” Yonene whispered, looking tense. “……You’re with them?”

“……More or less. Didn’t expect my old drinking buddy to be a Beliar and the culprit behind this mess.”

Kudo peered closely at Yonene’s face.

“……Yonene, what’s this really about? Why are you being this dumb?”

“……………”

“……H-hang on, are we sure we have the right person?” Umidori ventured. “I just can’t believe it. The owner of Katsu Messiah is Belied? She’s the Kakogawa Beliar?”

She shook her head in denial.

“It doesn’t make sense. We thought the Kakogawa Beliar was a Kakogawa extremist, trying to turn Kakogawa into a culinary capital! But the owner of Katsu Messiah doesn’t meet that criterion at all. She’s a Kobe native who just happens to run a katsumeshi shop.”

“…………”

“And even if that weren’t true, I don’t want her to be the Kakogawa Beliar. I mean, she’s super nice, while the Kakogawa Beliar is a nasty crook! It doesn’t add up!”

“………N-no,” a voice whispered. “That’s not true. You’ve got that wrong.”

“……Huh?” Umidori blinked and looked toward the voice. “Got what wrong?”

“……I’m not trying to steal Kobe’s dishes.” Yonene Katsurahama’s voice shook. “What I did may well appear that way, but it’s not actually the case. What I’ve made real now is only half my actual plan.”

“……What do you mean, Yonene?” Kudo asked, baffled.

“……I suppose I’d better spill all the beans,” Yonene sighed. She mustered a listless smile. “It all started five years ago.”

“Until that day, my life was all about French cuisine,” Yonene Katsurahama explained. “It never even occurred to me to consider any other path in life. One day, I’d be a French chef, like my parents. I even went to Paris to train right out of high school.

“Five years ago, right after that ended, I returned to Japan. Back then, I was convinced that in just a few months, I’d be working full-time at one of the best French restaurants in the country.”

“But that didn’t happen,” Kudo said. “Right after you got back, you and a friend went to Kakogawa, and that’s when you first encountered katsumeshi.”

“……At first, I refused to believe it. I didn’t want to let myself. For a dish infinitely better than any gourmet cooking I’d had in France to be dished out at a highway rest stop? The simplest meal in the world, beef katsu on white rice with demi-glace sauce on top. How could it be that scrumptious?

“But once I knew the true meaning of yum, I could no longer deceive my tongue. By the time I left that rest stop, I had vowed to abandon haute cuisine. Everyone I knew was bitterly opposed to it, and my parents still aren’t speaking to me, but I opened Katsu Messiah in Kobe’s own Motomachi.”

“……I’m well aware of how that went. We were business rivals, and you sure trounced me,” Kudo said, shrugging. “But you also helped me out a lot, Yonene. You were the only other girl I knew anywhere near my age running her own restaurant, always ready to lend an ear and some helpful advice.”

“…………”

“And I genuinely respect you, Yonene. Your love for katsumeshi was so genuine that it was impossible not to take joy in it. I remember you deep in your cups, swearing you’d turn Katsu Messiah into a three-star restaurant. I didn’t take that as a joke.

“That’s why I gotta know, Yonene. Why’d you do this? Your love was katsumeshi, not Kakogawa. You gain nothing from turning Kakogawa into a regional dish supercenter, from raising the city’s profile. So why…?”

“……Like I said, that’s not what I’m doing, Ryoko.” Yonene shook her head. “That’s only half my plan.”

“…………?”

“……A few years after I opened Katsu Messiah, I was in the kitchen—like any other day—frying up some beef katsu. And out of nowhere, it all felt meaningless.”

Yonene Katsurahama smiled forlornly.

“Katsu Messiah was doing well. We’d been in magazines, and on TV. No need to worry about getting enough customers; business was booming. People from all over Kobe told me how great my katsumeshi was. I’d devoted my life to the dish, and this was what I’d wanted. So why was there a hole in my heart?

“And that’s when I realized. No matter how big Katsu Messiah got, no matter how many people learned the wonders of the dish I served, katsumeshi itself would never be truly mine.”

“……………Huh?”

“No matter how profound my love for katsumeshi, it belongs to Kakogawa. It will forever be a Kakogawa local specialty.”

“…………”

“……Yes, I’m aware, Ryoko. You clearly have no clue what I’m talking about. Everyone knows my love for katsumeshi cannot take it away from Kakogawa, for the simple reason that katsumeshi is a Kakogawa dish.

“……Heh-heh, yeah, it’s a simple fact. A simple fact that I simply could not accept,” Yonene Katsurahama said, sounding like a woman possessed. “So I made a wish. I wished that the facts would change and katsumeshi could be mine alone.

“That katsumeshi would become a dish I invented.”

“……Wha?!”

“……I felt like I deserved that right. Nobody else alive has spent as much time thinking about katsumeshi! You could gather up the love all 250,000 Kakogawa citizens have for katsumeshi, and it would not equal mine.”

“…………”

“And that’s how I became what you call a Beliar. So I could make katsumeshi mine!” Yonene Katsurahama let out a self-deprecating sigh. “But, Ryoko, I’m not cruel enough to simply swipe katsumeshi from Kakogawa. It would be such a shame for the place to lose its only local dish! My intimate knowledge of katsumeshi means I’m only too aware of how cruel that would be.

“For that reason, I needed a replacement before I could dare steal katsumeshi away. Naturally, not one dish in all of Japan can possibly be an equivalent exchange for katsumeshi, but what if I offered a package deal?”

“…………!”

“……I see you’ve figured it out, Ryoko. My true purpose.”

“……Yonene, you mean…you’re trying to trade?” Kudo gulped. “You want to swap one star dish for multiple lesser options? The kind of deal you see sometimes in professional baseball?!”

“……Yes, exactly. To that end, I had sobameshi, bokkake, and ikanago no kugini weep bitter tears,” Yonene Katsurahama declared. “That should allow Kakogawa natives to cope with the loss of katsumeshi. In return, they’ll be able to declare themselves a gourmet capital! Meanwhile, Kobe winds up with no local dishes at all…but that’s not a problem. Kobe’s local dish will be katsumeshi, created by none other than myself, Kobe’s own Yonene Katsurahama.”

“……! You are fucked in the head!” Kudo yelled, unable to restrain herself. “Wh-who would even consider swapping signature dishes around?! You have no right to decide that all on your own! For one thing, you didn’t invent katsumeshi! What is wrong with you?!”

Her roar echoed through the space behind the shrine building. Clearly, she wasn’t able to handle any part of Yonene’s speech.

And Ryoko Kudo was not the only one flabbergasted.

“G-good lord…I never thought the Kakogawa Beliar would be this terrifying.” “I’m relieved I managed to avoid ever eating her katsumeshi.” “She is evil incarnate! She has no right to cook for anyone!” “Exactly! Her French chef parents would be devastated!” “……Why is everyone taking this so seriously? She’s just a dipshit!”

The assembled girls were all offering their own takes, but the subject of this commentary remained unmoved.

“Hmph. Fucked in the head? A bold choice of words, Ryoko. Not like you’re any better.”

“……Huh?”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Yonene said, glaring up at Kudo. “You sent me that gift for New Year’s. That messed-up vegetable oil that kept groaning.”

“…………?!”

“It creeped me out! I felt a pang of guilt but threw it away. In hindsight, I get it—you’re just like I am!”

“…………!”

“Ha-ha! Who are you to judge? What were you trying to do with that vegetable oil? I can’t even imagine!”

This effectively silenced Kudo, but Yonene wasn’t done.

“No matter who says otherwise, I’m going to steal katsumeshi from Kakogawa! I’m going to make katsumeshi mine! I bet katsumeshi would prefer that! It wants to be mine! Then I, I alone, will be the greatest katsumeshi chef and live up to the Katsu Messiah name! Mwa-ha! Mwa-ha! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

“—I don’t think that’s true.”

“……Huh?” Yonene’s laugh died.

The new voice was just that cold.

“Katsumeshi would never want to be yours,” Umidori continued.

“……Wh-what?” Yonene stammered, looking up at her.

“Chef,” Umidori said, her voice not warming up at all. “When I first ate your katsumeshi, I was genuinely impressed.”

“……Oh?”

“My family lives in Himeji, but I don’t have great memories there. That’s left me feeling uncomfortable with everything from Banshu. But your katsumeshi was so good, I stopped caring about any of that baggage. I was addicted to it! Katsu Messiah is the first time I’ve ever become a regular at any restaurant.”

“…………”

“Until today.”

“—Eh?”

“I will never eat katsumeshi at your restaurant again. It’s just creepy.”

Umidori clearly meant every word. Her eyes filled with contempt, like she was staring at a piece of gutter trash.

“……Eep?”

Her stare shot through Yonene, and the woman let out a squeak despite herself.

“Creepy, gross, disgusting,” Umidori added. “The idea that I ate food made by someone as awful as you makes me sick. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself. I physically cannot deal with someone as fucked up as you.”

“……! Wh-what the…?!” Yonene’s shoulders were quivering. “Wh-why are you looking at me like that?!”

“……Listen close, Chef. Katsumeshi belongs to Kakogawa. Sobameshi, bokkake, ikanago no kugini, tansan senbei, and gyoza with miso tare belong to Kobe. They are not yours to trade around.

“You clearly only care about yourself. You don’t even truly love katsumeshi. I don’t think someone like you has any right to call yourself the Katsu Messiah.”

“……!!”

This powerful diatribe left Yonene slumped over, head down.

“……Umidori’s absolutely right.”

A girl’s hand clamped down on Yonene’s shoulder.

Bullshit-chan’s hand.

“Every word Umidori said is true. No matter how much you scream about making katsumeshi yours, that will never be. You may have had a chance to change the truth, but the moment you got caught in our trap, that chance was gone. There’s nothing else you can do.”

“…………”

“That’s all she wrote. Yonene Katsurahama, it’s time for me to feast.”

“I didn’t see that coming.”

“……Oh?”

After the dust settled…

Envy Sakura came over to Umidori behind the shrine building.

“Wh-what’s this about, Envy Sakura?” Umidori asked, perplexed. “What didn’t you see coming? You’ve almost never spoken to me before…”

“Yes…but I was curious.” The pink-haired lie shrugged. “Watching you lay into that Katsura…what’s-her-face, I realized you aren’t actually nice to everybody.”

“……No?”

“When you don’t like someone, you tell them.”

Envy Sakura sounded impressed.

“I always took you for a gentle soul, unable to truly reject anyone’s point of view.”

“……? No, I just spoke my mind,” Umidori said, not getting it. “Honestly, I really didn’t help with the fallicide this time. I imagine I was meant to convince Yonene Katsurahama, make her see the error of her ways. But I just got mad and chewed her out instead.”

“……Ha! I wouldn’t know. Not like I care about the fallicides one way or the other,” Envy Sakura spat. “If Yoshino wants to help, then fine, I’ll do my part. I’d much rather she stay out of this, but she’s not listening to me. At least this one ended without her getting hurt, so all’s well that ends well.”

“……Ah-ha-ha, you really are devoted to Nara.”

“……The real problem is this stall,” Envy Sakura sighed. “I have to go help that cat out? Why should I? It makes zero sense. That stall only exists so we can capture Katsuface. Why can’t we just pack up and go?”

“……That would never do,” Umidori said, wincing. “We’re expecting a lot more Bullshit-channel viewers to show up. If we close down this early, we’ll be doing them a disservice. Gotta hang in there till the end.”

“Ugh. Like I care,” Envy Sakura sighed. “That’s Bullshit-channel’s problem; leave me and Yoshino out of it. You can go off and do whatever you like.”

“……Heh-heh, you sure don’t mince words.” Umidori giggled. “I know it’ll be hard work, but hang in there. I know you’ll have Nara’s back. She’s never done this kind of job, so I bet she’ll struggle with it.”

“……Huh?” Envy Sakura gave Umidori a look. “Why are you acting like this is on me? Aren’t you working with us?”

“…………”

“……Umidori?”

“……Um, Envy Sakura,” Umidori said, scratching her cheek. “Sorry, but can you take a message to the others?”

“So? When are you two gonna make up?” Kudo asked, tugging at Nara’s sleeve.

“……Mm?” Nara’s expression didn’t change, but she turned around. “Wh-what do you mean, Kudo? Make up with who?”

“……Don’t play dumb. You and Umidori, who else?” Kudo growled, giving Nara a half-lidded stare. “But first, I should say sorry, Nara. I appreciated the okonomiyaki party invite but just couldn’t make it.”

“……Okonomiyaki party?” Nara asked, sounding genuinely baffled. After a few seconds, she finally remembered. “Oh, for the end of term… No, that’s totally fine. If you’ve got a shift at work, you’ve gotta take it. I mean, if you’d been there, it would have been a blast, of course.”

“That makes me even more sorry. Paying your own way can be tough. I wanna make it up to you sometime—join me for ramen some day?” A casual offer, accompanied by a pat on Nara’s back. “But back to the point. Nara, how long are you gonna drag out this thing with Umidori? Your beef started a while back, right?”

“………” Nara still didn’t bat an eye, but she did shift her gaze. “………”

“……Nara? Earth to Nara? Can you hear me?”

“……I hear you, Kudo, but Umidori and I aren’t fighting.”

She sounded awfully sulky.

“Even if you want to call this mess a fight, I have no intention of ending it. I don’t want to patch things over.”

“……Ugh, Naraaaa…,” Kudo sighed, exasperated. “Are you five? You don’t want to patch things over with Umidori? You know that’s not true.”

“……Do I? Kudo, what gives you that idea?”

“The circles under your eyes.”

“……Huh?”

“You haven’t spotted them? Nara, you’re a fright.”

“…………” That genuinely seemed to alarm her. Nara put her hands to her eyes. “Hah? C-circles……? On my face?!”

“You haven’t slept in days, right? ’Cause you’re so worried about Umidori?” Kudo grinned at her. “Heh-heh, sleepless over a fight with a friend… That’s actually adorable, Nara.”

“……! Wh-what are you talking about, Kudo?!” Nara yelped, prodding the skin below her eyes. “I-I’ve never had circles! Not a mark on my flawless beauty!”

“……I mean, I can see them.” Kudo rolled her eyes. “Stop being a stick-in-the-mud. You know you haven’t slept. That doesn’t happen to people without problems.”

“…………”

“……I can say this much for sure: If neither of you take the first step, you’ll never fix this. Are you seriously okay with that? With just letting you and Umidori die on the vine?”

As she spoke, Kudo looked at the main shrine.

“……I ain’t about to let my friendship with Yonene die here,” she growled.

Yonene Katsurahama was lying in a heap—and not because of the tape.

“……That shit really hit her where it hurt. If a regular of mine gave me that look, I’d never be the same again,” Kudo said, sounding concerned. “I doubt we’ll be back to normal anytime soon. But I’m gonna apologize for what I did to her and make sure she sees the error of her ways. We’ve both got a long road ahead of us.

“But no matter what, I plan to end up with us being good friends again. Gonna go drinking with Yonene like we used to. I care about her enough to make that happen.”

Kuro turned back to Nara.

“So what do you say? Is Umidori nothing to you? Someone you can let fade out over this trivial spat?”

“……You sure are running your mouth, Kudo,” Nara said, scowling at her feet. “You don’t know the first thing about this, so stop acting like you do. This fight isn’t because I don’t care about her. Quite the opposite. She hasn’t considered how I feel at—”

“Whaaat?! Umidori went home?!”

……But Nara’s flow was interrupted by Bullshit-chan’s howl.

“……Huh?” “……She what?!”

Nara and Kudo broke off, turning toward the source of the shout.

“What do you mean, Envy Sakura?! Make that make sense!”

“……Look, don’t ask me. I’m just the messenger.”

Bullshit-chan was talking to Envy Sakura.

The former was extremely worked up, and the latter thoroughly fed up, not even meeting Bullshit-chan’s gaze.

“This is verbatim what Umidori said. She just doesn’t want to work the sobameshi stall.”

“……She doesn’t want to? She really said that?”

“Yeah. ‘If I’m around, it’ll ruin the vibes,’ she said.”

“Huh? Vibes?!”

“……Like I said, that’s all I know,” Envy Sakura responded, scratching her cheek. “I mean, she and Yoshino are fighting, right? Umidori said she’s the cause of that, so if she’s here, things will get tense, and no one else will be able to enjoy the festival. You’ve got enough hands to keep the stall open, so you’re better off without her, which means she has to go home early.”

“…………!” Bullshit-chan gasped aloud. “……Back up. What is that about? I don’t get it! Envy Sakura, you bought that and let her go?”

“……! I—I didn’t! Don’t blame me!” Envy Sakura snarled. “It made no damn sense, but before I could argue, Umidori ran off down the shrine stairs! You don’t like it, yell at her!”

“……Umidoriiii,” Bullshit-chan groaned, hanging her head. “I can’t believe she’s really…”

And she was not the only one shocked. Togari and Saladette were standing next to them, looking at each other, clearly just as blown away.

“O-oh, no! Tougetsu… I was so looking forward to working a festival stall with her!”

“……She’s normally really placid, but once she gets an idea in her head, she won’t let go of it, no matter how far astray it takes her.”

But the person most rattled was not Bullshit-chan, Envy Sakura, Togari, or Saladette—

“………………”

Yoshino Nara had her head down, her hands clenched around her sleeves.

“………………Umidori.”

—Bam!

Someone slapped Nara hard on the back—Kudo.

“Go after her, Nara,” Kudo said. “It hasn’t been that long. If you run, you should catch her before she’s on the bus.”

“……Kudo!”

“You ain’t still gonna drag your feet on this, are you?” Kudo had never meant anything more in her life. “I’ve got a few years on you, so trust me on this one. If you let Umidori go home now, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. You and her.”

“…………”

“You’re the one who needs to go bring her back. Not Bullshit-chan, not Togari, not Saladette, and certainly not me. You know that perfectly well.”

“……………”

Nara said nothing, but her eyes shifted to the shrine stairs.

Gazing at the road her friend had likely just run down, she stammered, “I—I just…”

Now what?

Meanwhile…

Tougetsu Umidori was pushing through the festival crowds, muttering to herself.

I guess I’ll stop at the store on the way and get something for dinner. There’s nothing to eat back home.

She was headed for the bus stop at the foot of the hill.

It was in the opposite direction from the crowd, who were all climbing up to the shrine. There’s a ton of stalls here, so I could grab a bite to eat before I go, but…if I linger here, Bullshit-chan might find me, and that would be awkward.

At this point, Umidori stopped in her tracks, turning back toward the shrine as if her heart was still there.

Would it have been fun to work the stall with everyone?

She considered that for a few seconds, staring back.

But then shook her head vigorously, as if trying to drive out those thoughts.

No, nope! Too late for that! This is the right choice! Without me dragging everyone down, they’ll all have a much better time!

Telling herself that, she headed for the bus stop again.

Forget today ever happened. Go home, take a bath, go to bed.

—But just then.

“…………?”

Umidori pulled up short again.

This time, she wasn’t looking back, but dead ahead.

……? What’s with him?

She was staring at a young man.

He had his hands in his pockets and was walking through the crowds—the opposite direction from her.

“………”

But something about him was off.

He was looking around, busily scanning the people.

And not what the stalls were selling.

Since everyone else was busy enjoying the festival, only Umidori had noticed what the man’s eyes were doing.

“—Ah!”

A moment later…

The man staggered and bumped into a nearby yukata-clad gentleman.

There was a thump.

“Ah, sorry,” he said, immediately apologizing. He bobbed his head to the yukata gent and carried on as if nothing had happened.

—But in his hand was a black wallet.

He’d been empty-handed until bumping into the yukata man.

Clearly conscious of the crowd’s distraction, he pocketed the wallet.

“…………!”

Umidori gasped, having witnessed the whole thing.

Naturally, this was pure coincidence.

She’d just so happened to notice the man’s odd demeanor and focus her attention on him in the moment. The man had just so happened to not notice Umidori watching as he committed his crime.

The same thing could have happened ten times, and she’d have missed nine of those.

It was nigh miraculous.

“…………!”

But having noticed the pickpocketing, Umidori could not pretend she hadn’t.

Without a second thought, she stepped forward, yelling, “Hey, you! Stop right there!”

“……Argh, where are you, Umidori?!”

A while later…

Nara was running down the same path Umidori had taken.

“She’s nowhere to be found! Not at the bus stop or the road to it!”

Even as Nara voiced her frustration, she kept moving.

She was already sweating profusely.

The sun was down, but running around outside at this time of year would do that.

“Sh-she didn’t walk all the way to the station, did she? No, it’s too dangerous, she’d never do that,” Nara said, heart pounding, her eyes darting every which way. “If she’s not already on the bus, she must still be wandering around. Did she buy dinner at a stall? But she really stands out, so I should have found her by now.”

She was muttering to herself grimly, which was starting to attract some odd looks, but Nara failed to notice.

“—Ah!” she yelped.

She’d spotted some familiar black hair ahead, in front of a baby castella stall.

Long, beautiful black locks, blending into the night.

She was looking away from Nara, so her face wasn’t visible, but Nara would know that hairstyle anywhere.

“……! Finally!”

Nara let out a yelp of relief and bolted toward the black hair.

Without a second’s pause, she grabbed the woman’s shoulder.

“Hey, why’d you wander off, Umidori?!”

“……Huh?”

The woman jumped and turned to face Nara.

“…Jeez, you gotta overcomplicate everything! It’s your fault I’m all sweaty!” Nara said, glaring at the woman. She scratched her head. “…………But I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drive you this far into a corner.”

“…………”

“I mean, I still need to give you a piece of my mind, but for now, let’s head back. Togari was especially upset.”

“…………”

“…………Um?”

Only then did Nara realize the lady she’d thought was Tougetsu Umidori…wasn’t.

“…………”

The black-haired woman gave Nara a blank stare.

She had the same hairstyle and looked quite a bit like Tougetsu Umidori…but wasn’t dressed the same. Nara had seen Umidori earlier that evening, and she’d been wearing something completely different.

Plus, there was the height difference.

The woman before her was not that much taller than Nara, who was just under five feet. In other words, a solid seven inches shorter than Tougetsu Umidori.

“……! I-I’m so sorry!” Nara wailed, yanking her hand off the woman’s shoulder and bowing. “I—I thought you were someone else! I can’t apologize enough!”

She spun on her heel and quickly moved away.

Oh, shit! My face is on fire! I’m about to die of shame!

Nara’s poker face never broke, but inside, she was cringing.

If I’m seeing Umidori in anyone with long black hair, I’m pretty far gone!

—But just then…

Yoink!

“…………Huh?”

Nara stopped, surprised.

Someone had grabbed her hand.

From behind.

“…………”

The black-haired woman.

She was peering into Nara’s face, not saying a word.

“…………”

“……? Uh, um…yes?”

“…………Uh,” the woman said. “Er, um, um, um, um…”

“…………??”

“……………Y-y-y-y-you do have the right person!”

“……………I do?”

“M-m-m-my name is……Umidori……!”

Her voice was so faint, it was actively concerning.

If the noise of the festival was at a ten, this woman’s voice barely managed a one. The voice was like a mosquito’s hum; it was hard to believe it belonged to a grown woman.

……Huh? Uh, what? What’s going on?

Nara somehow managed to catch this feeble squeak, but her head was spinning.

……And this lady’s grip is way too soft! Is she a baby?!

“……………Uh, um…if I’m wrong, then sorry, but……!” the black-haired lady whispered, maintaining her delicate grip on Nara’s wrist. “B-but are you…Yoshino Nara?”

“…………Huh?”

“……! Y-you are?! Y-you look just like Mom said you did! J-just unbelievably pretty!”

Nara’s response seemed to perk the woman’s spirits a bit.

“W-wow! Wh-what a crazy coincidence! To think I’d run into you like this!”

“……………”

Nara watched the woman mutter for a minute.

“……Wait,” she said, quite certain of it. “Are you Umidori’s mother?”

Meanwhile…

This is getting very weird.

Umidori was staring up at the fluorescent lights.

She was in a partitioned waiting room, sitting on a folding chair.

I’ve never been in a police station before… When will I be allowed to go home? Umidori sighed, eyes on the clock on the wall. If I bump into the others on the way home, it’ll be so awkward.

“—You really saved my bacon, Miss,” a man right next to her said. “I never saw it coming. If you hadn’t seen him pick my pocket, I wouldn’t have been able to buy anything at the festival today. I don’t know how I can ever thank you.”

The speaker was a slender man in a yukata.

He, too, was on a folding chair, giving Umidori an apologetic look.

“Uh, no, not at all, I just did what anyone would do,” Umidori said, cringing under his gaze. “I’m just glad you got your wallet back! It was pure chance I happened to see that guy lift it.”

“Ha-ha, perhaps the shrine’s god punished him for picking pockets on shrine grounds. Still, Miss, if I may put my own foolishness aside, I’d advise against cornering criminals without due precaution.”

“……Huh?”

“This one meekly let himself be captured, but if he’d snapped and pulled a knife on you…what then?” the man asked, clearly concerned for her. “Having a strong sense of justice is a beautiful thing, but you need to be conscious of the risks involved. There are many bad people out there in the world.”

“……R-right. That’s certainly true.” Umidori nodded. “In hindsight, I know that was awfully dangerous, but in the moment, I moved without thinking.”

“……Well, I got to keep my wallet because of your righteousness.” The yukata gent smiled. His gaze drifted to the door. “But this is a tragedy, yes? If you’d simply pretended not to see, you wouldn’t be stuck here at a police station.

“The cops are so inflexible… You may be the main witness, but there’s no reason to leave you sitting here on a festival day.”

“……No, that’s how it goes,” Umidori said, wincing. “They’ve got paperwork to handle, and I didn’t have any real plans anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

“……You sure? If you say so, I’ll take your word for it.”

He seemed somewhat unconvinced, but nodded, and the conversation died out. A silence settled over the waiting room.

……Yeah, this is fine. I couldn’t just pretend I hadn’t seen anything, Umidori thought, trying to convince herself. But I wish they would at least tell me when I’ll be allowed to leave…

“…………”

The yukata man was watching her closely.

There was a curious look on his face.

“—Something on your mind?” he asked.

“……Huh?” Startled, Umidori turned to him. “Wh-why do you ask?”

“Heh-heh, pardon me for prying. I was just wondering,” he said with a soft smile. “The moment I laid eyes on you, I thought, This girl’s in rough shape.”

“……How so?”

“Those circles under your eyes are pretty big. Were you unaware?”

“…………”

Umidori prodded the bags beneath her eyes.

“……Uh, do I really look that bad?”

“Well, you clearly haven’t slept much,” the man admitted. “I figured if it’s that obvious, you must be grappling with something big.”

“…………”

“……If you’re interested in sharing, I could lend an ear?”

“……Huh?”

“I might be able to assist. Professionally,” the man said, smiling. “I’m actually a counselor.”

“……You are?”

“Well, technically, just something like one. But when I see girls like you, my professional instincts kick in. If you’re up for sharing, I’d be happy to hear you out. What do you say?”

“……Uh, um,” Umidori stammered. “H-hang on, I don’t have any problems worth seeking professional help with. And I don’t have any money! I couldn’t possibly pay you.”

“Ha-ha! You think I’d charge you after this? Please. This is totally on the house. Think of it as my way of thanking you for recovering my wallet.”

“………S-still…”

“Plus, we’re just killing time until the cops are ready for us. We’re stuck in a tiny room, bored, so we might as well make good use of the time.”

“……………”

“And I’m a lot older than you. I’ve been through some things and can offer advice,” the man said, eyeing her reaction. “What do you say, Miss? Sometimes it can help just to get things off your chest. How about you start with your name?”

“……………”

Umidori gave the yukata man a long look.

A professional counselor? I’ve never met anyone like him. But it does feel right.

I thought this earlier, but he’s got a very distinct voice. Just listening to it puts me at ease. Perhaps professionals learn to modulate their tone.

And it could be a good opportunity. Maybe I should open up.

Once her thoughts took her that far, Umidori parted her lips.

“……Okay, then. I guess I could share. My name’s—”

7
A-san and B-san

The shrine grounds.

On a plastic bench by the vending machines, past the row of stalls.

Two people sat side by side, grimly silent.

“…………”

A black-haired woman, staring dead ahead, saying not a word.

A red-haired girl, silently tossing baby castella into her mouth.

Both were facing forward, never meeting each other’s eyes.

The redhead made no sounds, save the rustling of her hand in the baby castella bag.

It was hard to believe there was a festival raging not far away. The vibe here was more like a wake.

…………This is so awkward!

Yoshino Nara was screaming on the inside, unable to bear it.

Why is this happening? How long are we gonna sit like this? Why am I stuffing my face with baby castella next to Umidori’s mom?!

Since her expression never wavered, it was hard to tell, but her inner self was currently at peak turmoil.

……Wh-why is she even here? And not in Himeji?

Chewing a baby castella, Nara shot a quick glance at the woman next to her.

Umidori’s mother was staring up at the night sky, silent.

……She’s so young!

On closer inspection, that was Nara’s first and foremost impression.

I thought my mom was on the young end, but this lady really takes the cake! She does not look thirty-four. She could pass for a college student! If she swore she was Umidori’s older sister, I’d believe her!

“…………”

Meanwhile, Umidori’s mother failed to react to Nara’s gaze.

Nara couldn’t tell if she hadn’t even noticed Nara’s look, or had noticed and was ignoring it. Umidori’s mother had been like this since the moment they’d sat down.

……What do I do? I’m supposed to be out searching for her daughter! Nara thought, eyes turning to the festival stalls. I guess I should be the one to bring that up…

—Just then.

—There was a slapping sound from Nara’s side.

“…………Mm?”

Nara jumped and turned back.

“…………”

The sound was coming from Umidori’s mom.

She was wordlessly slapping her own cheeks with both hands.

Slap, slap.

“……Um, what are you doing……?”

“……………”

This outlandish behavior startled Nara, but Umidori’s mother just turned very slowly toward her.

“……S-s-sorry. I—I was trying to…psyche myself up.”

“……Huh?”

“I-I-I’ve been sitting here trying to talk to you, but. My voice. Just won’t come out!”

Her voice was like the buzz of a mosquito.

“I-I’m just so nervous… I can’t even remember the last time I had a real conversation with someone I wasn’t related to.”

“…………Uh-huh.”

“……! B-but. But that’s not the point, Nara!” she said, looking Nara right in the eye. “I—I really am sorry about the other day!”

“……Oh?”

“I—I actually came all the way here just to, um, apologize for that……!”

Her shoulders were shaking like leaves.

“……I—I went out to a spa.”

“……A spa?”

“……Y-yes. There’s one not far from home,” Umidori’s mother squeaked. “I-i-it’s not like it’s a nice one or anything, but you can stay the night affordably. And that’s where I was the whole time you were visiting Himeji.”

“……Huh. A spa.” Nara nodded.

“S-so, so my point. After you went back to Kobe, Nara, I came home…and, um, talked to Mom.”

“……By ‘Mom,’ you mean Shingetsu?”

“R-right. Mom was waiting for me at the door.” Umidori’s mother sighed. “Sh-she was so, so, so mad at me.”

“……………”

“‘Wh-what were you thinking, disappearing when your daughter brings a friend over?’ She said you were really upset about it. I-it’s been a long time since anyone scolded me like that.”

“……Ah-ha.” Nara nodded. “But how’d you know I’d be here? Did Shingetsu tell you about the stall?”

“……! U-um, yes. Mom said you were all running a sobameshi stand today.”

“……Well, we did follow each other on social media.”

“……I-it’s been so long since I came to Kobe,” Umidori’s mother whispered, glancing around. “There r-really are a lot of people here. Just looking at these crowds makes me faint. I—I really don’t get out much.”

“………”

Nara studied the woman’s face for a moment.

“Um, Umidori’s mom…,” she began. “No, I’m gonna go ahead and call you Mangetsu. May I ask you a question?”

“……? Wh-wh-what kind of question?”

“Why didn’t you stay to meet me?”

Nara wasn’t mincing words.

“If you came all this way to apologize for it, then you owe me an explanation.”

“……Y-yes, I suppose I do.” Mangetsu nodded. “I-it really is the obvious question. I can’t really apologize without attempting to answer it…”

“…………”

“……Uh, um, Nara. I want to answer…” Mangetsu’s eyes swam. “B-but can I ask you something first?”

“……? What?”

“……Wh-what do you think of me?”

“……Huh?”

“W-we’ve talked a bit now, so y-you’ve formed a first impression, yes?” she said, glancing up at Nara. “A-and I’m sure you think I’m a weird old lady.”

“…………!”

Nara’s poker face didn’t crack, but she let out a gasp.

Then looked away, almost entirely on reflex.

“……Uh, um… No, I wouldn’t say that…”

“……Heh. Heh-heh-heh. N-no, don’t worry about it.” Umidori’s mother giggled. “I-I’m well aware. I-if I’m not a weird old lady, then who is?”

“………”

“……B-but that’s also the a-answer to your question, Nara.”

“……Oh?”

“……I-I’m a weird old lady. So I didn’t want to meet you,” she said, eyes darting around awkwardly. “I-if I met you, T-Tougetsu would be all ashamed of me.”

“……Huh?”

“I—I didn’t want…her friend…to know her mom…is this total basket case.

“I—I can’t even talk right. I d-don’t have a job. I’m thirty-four, b-but can’t even look after her myself. N-normal families don’t have moms like that.”

“…………”

“S-s-so I got to thinking about that and got super anxious that Tougetsu would lose a friend because of me…and the n-next thing I knew, I was so scared…that I ran away to a spa.

“I-if I just wasn’t there, I thought, then Tougetsu wouldn’t be ashamed. I—I thought it would be b-better if I wasn’t around.”

“…………”

“Y-you really are…being so nice, Nara,” Umidori’s mother said, bowing. “S-so I do want…to make one thing clear. I really, really, really, really wanted to meet you.

“I mean, when I heard Tougetsu was bringing a friend over…I was so happy…I burst into tears. ‘Oh,’ I thought. ‘F-finally, she’s got a friend’…”

“…………”

Nara didn’t speak, nodding internally as she watched Mangetsu.

……Ah-ha. So this is Umidori’s mother.

“……Hmm, I see,” the yukata gent said when Umidori finished her story. “Umidori, after leaving your comrades, you headed for the bus stop and happened to witness my pocket getting picked. Is that the way of it?”

“Y-yes, basically.” Umidori nodded. “So once I’m done here, I want to get home before I run into anyone else.”

“I see, I see, I see. It all makes sense. Thank you for the detailed explanation! Very easy to follow.

“—That said, I’ll admit I’m a bit taken aback,” the man said, narrowing his eyes. “You can’t lie? That certainly is a tricky condition. Before today, I had no idea such a thing was even possible.”

“……Yes, well, most people simply wouldn’t believe me.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean that! I believe you. It’s not exactly my field of expertise, so some of the details escape me, but our world is filled with symptoms as yet unknown to science. And the way you talk about it is so convincing that it makes me want to believe your condition exists.”

“……Th-thank you,” Umidori stammered. She took a sip of tea that a cop had handed her quite a while back. It was no longer hot.

……I told him everything. A total stranger!

With lukewarm tea running down her throat, she marveled at that.

Naturally, she’d left out the part about the Kakogawa Beliar, along with anything lie-related that would be lost on normal people. But she’d told the man the rest: about her family, her condition, everything.

Umidori was not ordinarily prone to opening up to people she didn’t know.

It’s like my lips started moving on their own. Are professional counselors just that good at listening?

“……What should I say now?” the yukata gent said, sipping his own tea. “You’ve so earnestly shared your issues with me. As a counselor of sorts, I would love to offer you some tangible advice. The trick here is determining the direction.”

“……Direction?”

“Normally, that’d be the least of my concerns,” he said, clearing up nothing.

For a while, he sat in silence, noisily sipping his tea. But at last, he seemed to make up his mind, and he put a hand to his yukata.

Or more accurately, the kinchaku bag dangling from the yukata hip.

“Somewhere around here…”

He plunged a hand inside, rummaging around, searching for something. Several seconds later, his hand emerged with a coin.

“……What’s that?”

“What it looks like. A five-hundred-yen coin.”

He rolled the coin around his fingers for Umidori to see.

“The police have yet to return my wallet, but I happened to have this coin in my kinchaku. Change from the bus fare here.”

“……Um, so what about this five-hundred-yen coin?”

“I’m gonna flip it.”

“……Like a coin toss?”

“The side with the number is tails, and the side with the picture is heads,” the yukata gent said, making a fist and resting the coin on his thumb. “Ready, Umidori? Before I offer any counseling, this coin flip will determine our direction.

“If it turns out to be heads, then I will give the advice of a proper grown-up.”

“……………Um?”

“No judgment calls, no biased views, just commonsense words of wisdom, like an adult should give. Things anyone could come out with, so the advice may not be particularly interesting, but I promise it will be at least useful.”

“…………?”

“But if it’s tails…” A smirk flashed across the yukata gent’s lips. “Then my advice will be a tad more personal.”

“……Personal?”

“In that case, I’ll be making my own calls and letting my biases influence me. Generally speaking, that is how I conduct my counseling. I promise what you’ll hear will be much more interesting than the other option—and perhaps a bit stimulating.”

“…………”

Umidori didn’t really get what the man meant and just gave him a puzzled frown.

“……It’ll be that different?”

“Yes, entirely unrelated advice.” The man smiled again. “Like I said, a bit stimulating. Since I merely listened to your story by way of thanking you, it would be a shame to spin your head all the way around.”

“……Huh?”

“I will enjoy myself either way the coin falls, so let’s give it a toss!”

The man flicked the five-hundred-yen coin.

The metal disc flew into the air, spinning several times, then landed on his palm.

Which way up? The picture side.

“Oh, congratulations, Umidori!” the yukata gent cried, quite excited. “It’s heads! Isn’t that nice? You get the sensible adult route!”

“……? O-okay? Thanks,” Umidori said. Bowled over by his enthusiasm, she settled for nodding.

“I’m a man of my word. Allow me to seal away my biases and judgments. When was the last time I pretended to have a conscience?”

“………?”

“Now, let us begin,” he said, and took a breath. “That said, hmm. It would be awfully simple to just give you the answer, but in that case, it would be hard for it to really sink in. Let me employ an analogy.”

“……An analogy?”

“—Tell me, Umidori, have you ever been in love?”

“…………Wha?”

That surprised her so much she stiffened up, eyes wide.

“……Uh, huh?”

“Love, child. Love. I’m asking if you’ve ever had romantic feelings for anyone else.”

“…………I don’t know what you mean,” she said, gaping at him. “Wh-where’s this coming from? That can’t have anything to do with this advice.”

“No, no, that’s not true. It’s directly relevant to your predicament.”

“…………”

“……Still, from your reaction, I assume you haven’t.” The man sighed, eyeing her expression. “Doesn’t matter. Even if you haven’t lived it, I’m sure you’ll work things out once you hear what I have to say.”

“……………?”

“So, Umidori, let us begin with a person we’ll call A-san.”

The yukata gent held up an index finger.

“A-san could be a man or a woman—their gender doesn’t matter here. That’s beside the point. They don’t actually exist anyway. But this A-san has a somewhat unusual romantic predilection.”

“……Romantic predilection?”

“Yes. In other words, what it is that makes them fall in love. Perhaps we could simply call it their type.

“Ask a hundred people for their type, and you’d get a hundred answers. Some go for nice, some funny, some strong, some talented, some rich, some handsome—everyone likes different things. That is the way of the world, and it is neither good nor bad.”

“…………”

Umidori was seriously wondering where this was going, but the man was prattling away too fast for her to get a word in edgewise, so she had to sit and listen.

“And our A-san’s answer?” The yukata gent spun his index finger in the air. “A-san claims they love people who love them.”

“……………Huh?”

Umidori’s eyes went wide, baffled.

“……H-how does that work? If someone falls in love with them, they love them back?”

“Yes. Well, Umidori? Does A-san’s type make sense to you?”

“…………” Umidori had to think about that, but soon answered. “No, I don’t get it at all.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“……I mean, that sounds like the other person doesn’t matter. They just like themselves,” Umidori said, appalled. “As long as the other person likes them, they don’t care who it is. I’m hardly an expert on romance, and I’m not really interested in becoming one, but even I can tell that’s an awful way to look at things. Even going for pretty faces or money at least means they’re looking at their partner!”

“……Interesting. But Umidori, A-san would put it this way. ‘I can only love someone who loves me, for the simple reason that I cannot love myself.’”

“……They can’t love themself?”

“Yes. Why not? Well, many reasons, but that’s how A-san is. A-san just cannot bring themself to have a positive self-image. A-san does not believe they’ll win anyone’s heart. They’re convinced that even if they fall for someone, that someone would never love them—A-san has already given up.”

“……That’s awful,” Umidori sighed. “If someone like that really existed, well, I’d hate to say it, but they would never get close to anyone. They’re so negative, no one could like them!”

“Oh, that’s not necessarily the case. It’s a big wide world out there. Perhaps there is at least one person who would fall for even a negative soul like A-san.”

“……Then that person has really weird taste. I feel super sorry for them already! I can’t imagine being in love with A-san would be much fun.”

“Let us call this person with weird taste B-san. If A-san and B-san meet each other, then nothing would stop them from partnering up. After all, A-san falls for anyone who loves them, so if B-san falls for A-san, they have no reason to refuse.”

“……How does that work? A-san can’t love themself, but they have the nerve to want a partner anyway?”

“Well, even A-san doesn’t want to be alone in life. They merely think that’s their only option and accept that as their fate. If someone reaches out a hand to save them, they’ll happily take it.”

“……Ugh. I just can’t stand this person.”

“Still, once A-san starts dating B-san, I do think they’ll develop feelings for them. At the least, they’ll be grateful to B-san for falling for this deeply unappealing person and want to devote themself to B-san. And B-san will find that side of A-san appealing.”

“…I don’t see how.”

“You don’t? Why not?”

“I mean, the core issue hasn’t been resolved. And what would happen if B-san ever suggested they break up?

“Like, they hadn’t really fallen out of love. They just told A-san otherwise and took themselves out of the picture. In that case, A-san would never think to chase after B-san.”

“They probably wouldn’t, no,” the yukata gent said, shaking his head. “After all, they’re convinced B-san no longer loves them. They’ll be sad, it won’t make sense, but the only thing A-san cared about is that B-san loved them, so it’s over.

“Chasing after B-san and trying to fix things? Out of the question. A-san cares about B-san, and for that very reason, they can’t try and force a relationship with someone who doesn’t love them. They don’t want to be a burden. A-san would give up on B-san out of love for them.”

“……No! That’s not love! That’s not thinking of them at all!” Umidori yelled, getting rather heated. “I mean…just think about it! Even if B-san really has turned on them, that doesn’t change the fact that A-san loves B-san!”

“…………”

“Maybe the whole thing only started when B-san fell in love with them. But if they’ve been together this whole time, then it makes no sense that A-san wouldn’t fall in love with B-san. And if they’re in love with B-san, then no matter what happens, they’ll want to be together.

“If A-san wants to be with the one they love and is bottling up those feelings because they’re afraid of rejection, then that’s not love or respect. They’re just running away.”

“But what if they really weren’t in love?” the yukata gent asked. “The two had been together this whole time, and A-san appreciated B-san’s love for them, but they didn’t feel strongly enough to object when the breakup came. It never occurred to them to chase after B-san. B-san just never meant that much to A-san.”

“……!! Th-that’s just…,” Umidori spluttered, shoulder quivering. “Poor B-san!”

……………

“…………Oh,” Umidori said, clapping her hands over her mouth.

In that instant…she’d worked it out.

Seeing as much, the yukata gent gave a satisfied smile.

“You get it now, Umidori? What A-san did to B-san is just like what you did to Nara.”

“I-I’ve been like this…ever s-since I was little…”

Umidori’s mother stumbled over her words a lot, but persevered.

“Wh-what you see r-right now…is actually not that bad. When I—I was little, I couldn’t even s-speak to anyone…outside my family. I n-never made a single friend and was…always alone.

“B-but that d-doesn’t mean…I could talk to family, either. I—I was so scared of all my brothers. Th-the way I talk…j-just annoyed them, and they were so mean.”

“……………”

Nara had her hands on her lap, listening intently.

“S-so…in high school… W-well, I was about your age, Nara, wh-when I got pregnant with Tougetsu.”

“……That’s quite a leap.”

“W-well, nothing else…in my life…is worth mentioning. Eh-heh. Eh-heh-heh-heh.”

She let out a creepy little laugh.

“I—I was as surprised as anyone. I—I knew I was…slow on the uptake, but still. It was a r-real blot on my reputation. M-my parents were s-so mad…a-and I knew if I wanted to have the baby, I-I’d have to quit school and g-get a job.”

“……But you decided to have her, Mangetsu?”

“……Y-yeah.” Umidori’s mother nodded. “N-no matter h-how much everyone else objected. M-my father…w-we had such a big argument. I w-wound up running away, dropping out of school. I left H-Himeji, m-moved to Kobe…just the two of us.

“……J-just me and Tougetsu. H-her father didn’t come with us.”

“……………”

“……H-he just d-disappeared on me. I—I don’t even want…to think about him anymore.

“H-he promised he’d h-help me raise it if I had the baby. I—I know I heard him say that, but…h-he abandoned his d-daughter and ran away. He l-lied to me.”

“……I imagine that must have been hard on you,” Nara said, watching her face. “Betrayed by the man you trusted. In a new place, raising a girl all alone.”

“……Y-yeah, well…it was hard as hell.” A strained smile. “A g-girl who can’t even manage friends and family…isn’t gonna fare well in the r-real world. I w-worked myself to the bone every day…b-but I was so bad at everything… I was constantly making problems, getting yelled at.

“M-my wages were never enough. I-it was all I could do to p-pay the bills. It t-took its toll on me…physically and mentally. I—I can’t do what normal people can all do without th-thinking about it…and I remember c-crying myself to sleep at night.”

“…………”

“I—I lost track…of how many times…I cursed her father’s name.

“I-if that liar hadn’t…been around, my l-life…would have been different. I—I wouldn’t have had to s-suffer like this. H-how dare he…w-waltz away s-scot-free? Th-this was all his fault…”

“…………”

“B-but Tougetsu alone was my salvation.”

“……Mm?”

“E-every time I f-felt like I was going mad with sh-shame over my own failings, or r-rage against that man… I—I lost track of how many times sh-she pulled me back.”

A look of peace had stolen over Mangetsu’s face.

“I—I mean, sh-she never made fun of me. A-and not b-because I was her m-mom, but just because she was…that k-kind of girl. I-I’m sure you know what I mean, N-Nara.”

“……I do.” Nara nodded. “I feel the same way.”

“R-right? Sh-she’s so nice. H-hard to believe she came from two s-such awful people. Th-the one thing in my l-life I can be proud of…is h-having her.”

“…………”

“B-but, Nara,” Mangetsu said, sighing wearily. “S-six years ago…our life together c-came to an abrupt end.”

“Mom, you need to quit your job.”

One evening, Umidori’s mother got home from work and found her daughter waiting at the door.

“……Huh? Quit my job?”

She looked up, one shoe still on. Exhausted.

“Wh-where’s this coming from, Tougetsu?”

“Mom… I can’t stand seeing you like this,” her daughter said, grimly looking Mangetsu in the eye. “This job just isn’t right for you. You work every day, late into the night, and always come home looking miserable. And it’s not like it pays well. You have got to find a better job.”

“……Wh-wha? That’s just silly.” Her mother shook her head. “F-find a better job? I w-wish it was that easy. N-not many places w-would hire someone like me. I’m g-grateful they k-keep me on. I-if I try to be picky, it’ll blow up in my face. N-no matter how hard it is, I can’t c-complain.”

“……You’re gonna spend your whole life at a job you hate?”

“……Huh?”

“Decades at a job with no future? When you can’t even stand it now?”

Her daughter wasn’t letting her look away.

“Sure, nobody knows what the future holds. But I know one thing: If you don’t try to change things, you’ll be like this the rest of your life.”

“……Wh-what’s gotten into you?” Umidori’s mother wailed. “S-stop! D-don’t say this. I-if I quit, how w-will we pay rent? I—I mean, you know we’ve got no other income. A-are you going to work instead, Tougetsu?”

“……We can always turn to Himeji.”

“………………Huh?”

“We can go back to Himeji and bow our heads. Ask for help. Have them look after us until you can find a better job.”

“………Wh-what?!”

“I’m just a kid, but I’ve thought about this a lot,” her daughter said, keeping her voice flat. “Maybe that isn’t the best thing to do, but I think we’re past the point of worrying about pride.

“At the very least, it’ll solve the problems you’ve got now. This job is working you so hard, it’s all you can manage. You can’t stop to think about anything past it. If you’re going to change, you need stability first.”

“…………”

“Once you’re secure again, you can take your time and find something better. You’re only twenty-eight, Mom. You still have time to try a new path, so better to change course—”

“……Never.”

“……Huh?”

“……I—I can’t. I’d rather die,” Umidori’s mother swore, avoiding her daughter’s gaze. “Th-they’re not my family anymore. I—I don’t want to go back there, not ever.”

“……No. Stop. What? This is no time to get all stubborn,” her daughter said, glaring up at her. “It’s been a decade since they disowned you. Ancient history. They’re over it! If we ask nicely, they’ll help us.”

“……Th-that’s not the point!” her mother wailed, shaking her head like a toddler. “Th-this is a grown-up problem. Y-you’re just a little girl; you w-wouldn’t understand. I j-just can’t go back to Himeji. Th-that’s the end of this conversation!”

“……Mom,” her daughter said, clearly not sure how to handle this rejection. “……You shouldn’t lie to me.”

“……Huh?”

“I know better,” she said gently. “You don’t want to rely on your family, but…Grandma’s actually giving you money, right?”

“……?!”

“What you earn isn’t enough to make ends meet. Your mother’s helping us out, right? You’ll let that happen on the side, so how does it make sense to say you can’t go ask for help?”

“…………!”

Umidori’s gaze seemed to shoot right through her, and Mangetsu froze up.

“……W-wait, Tougetsu! That’s different! Totally d-different!”

“……How so?”

“……Sh-she just gives me that money all on her own!”

“…………”

“……Wh-what’s gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?” she shrieked, aware she was just making excuses. “D-do you hate being poor that much? Y-you don’t like living alone with me? F-fine! G-go back to Himeji all alone! I’ll stay here!”

“……Huh?”

“I—I hate that house s-so much! I—I will never get over h-how they acted when I got pregnant!”

She looked ready to burst into tears.

“D-Dad, Mom, my brothers… They all ganged up and blamed me! Like I was the bad guy! I—I didn’t do anything wrong! It was all that l-liar’s fault!”

“………Mom,” her daughter said, speaking very slowly. “—What are you talking about? Of course it’s also your fault.”

“…………Huh?”

“Maybe it’s a fact that my dad was a dirtbag, but it was your decision to have me.

“If that led to you dropping out of high school, forced you to work a job you hate—you can’t blame that on anyone else. All of that is your doing.”

“………………Tougetsu?”

“I’m not trying to attack you. I just want you to face the facts. Sulking like a little kid isn’t gonna change how hard things are.”

The light in her daughter’s eyes was cold. Her mother had never seen those eyes look like that before.

“……It was a huge shock,” Umidori’s mother whispered. “W-without a doubt, the b-biggest shock of my life. I—I don’t even think I was that cut up when her f-father abandoned us.”

“…………”

“M-my own daughter, g-genuinely disappointed in me. E-each word she said, the l-look in her eyes… I knew she meant it. I already knew about her c-condition, so…

“S-so that very night…”

Her eyes turned to the sky above.

“I—I decided to k-kill myself.”

“—Huh?”

“I—I impulsively…got a r-rope and tried to hang myself.”

“…………!”

Nara was staring at her, without expression, stunned.

Aware of that look, Umidori’s mother kept talking.

“I-in hindsight, I d-don’t think I actually wanted to die. I-I’m too weak to manage that… It was like I was in a fugue state, and I didn’t know wh-which way was up.”

“…………”

“A-and while I was g-getting ready, Tougetsu woke up to use the b-bathroom.”

“………Wha?!” Nara yelped. “Then she saw you?! She knew what you were doing?”

“……At f-first, she just rubbed her eyes, sleepy and out of it.

“But then she saw the noose hanging from the ceiling, and w-went white as a sheet. She threw herself at me. ‘Don’t do it, Mom!’ ‘Please, stop!’ ‘It was all my fault!’ ‘I’ll never say anything like that again!’ Sh-she was crying so hard…”

“………”

“I th-think that’s when…she got scared…to g-get close to anyone.”

“…………………”

“……Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.” Mangetsu let out a hoarse laugh. “I-if I could get one w-wish, I’d go back and kill myself for that.”

“……………Mangetsu.”

“N-none of that is Tougetsu’s fault. I j-just drove myself into a corner, and h-her words were the last s-straw. I was an idiot. That’s all there is t-to it.

“But I think Tougetsu w-will carry that for the rest of her life. Sh-she’s convinced her words made her m-mom try to hang herself. I—I gave her l-lifelong trauma.”

“…………”

Umidori was sitting in silence on her folding chair.

She was running back through everything Nara had said on the phone.

“You don’t even get why that would upset me, and that’s what’s so damn galling!”

“Umidori, you don’t even like me.”

“Our relationship really wasn’t that strong. Nowhere near ‘friends.’”

“But you did have someone you were close to, Umidori,” the yukata gent said, his tone relaxed. “I can tell from the way you talked about her. Nara really does care about you, Umidori. Otherwise, she’d never have volunteered to tag along to Himeji when she noticed how upset you were.

“When you’re in trouble, she wants to help. Your problems are her problems. It’s not every day you find someone who’s got your back like that.

“Honestly, she’s wasted on you. You have no love for anyone, think nothing of them—you’re simply waiting for them to love you.”

“……Counselor,” Umidori said, turning slowly toward him. “……What should I do?”

Her voice was almost a plea.

“You’ve helped me figure it out. I get how horrible I’ve been to her recently. I know how badly I’ve hurt her.”

“…………”

“If I could, I’d take back everything I’ve said to her. But that’s not possible.”

“—Well,” the yukata gent began.

“—Pardon me,” a third voice said at the door. “I hate to interrupt, but may I have a moment?”

“……………Huh?” Umidori jumped and turned toward the voice.

A female police officer stood there.

A young one, in her mid-twenties.

“……Yes, what is it?” the yukata gent asked, sounding a bit miffed. “Sorry, officer, whatever this is about, can it wait a moment? We’re having an important—”

—But at that moment, he broke off and gave her a good look-over.

“……Oh, I see. That explains it.”

“……………”

The officer didn’t even glance at him. Her gaze was entirely on Umidori.

“You’re our witness, yes? I’m sorry we kept you waiting. You’re free to go.”

“……Huh?”

“You may go home now. All our paperwork is complete.”

“…………Oh?”

Umidori blinked a few times.

“……? But I haven’t done any paperwork!”

“No, but we won’t be needing you to do any.”

“………Ohhh?”

Umidori clearly didn’t get this at all.

“H-hang on, if I don’t need to do anything, why have I been stuck here?”

“……………”

The officer ignored the question.

She just smiled pleasantly back at Umidori.

“…………?” Umidori’s brow furrowed. “Have we met somewhere before?”

“—Hmm?” The officer’s face twitched. “……What?”

“J-just a feeling, but…I don’t think this is our first time talking.”

“…………Um, I don’t know what to say,” the officer said, tilting her head. “You must be thinking of someone else. I don’t recognize you at all.”

“……Really? But I’m getting major déjà vu.”

“Now, now, Umidori, that hardly matters,” the yukata gent said. “The officer has said what she said, so best you run along home. It’s not like you were enjoying being stuck here, right?

“And you have bigger problems to solve. You need to go to Nara and tell her you’re sorry.”

“……Huh?”

“That’s the answer to your question.” The man smiled. “If you want to make things up to her, then you have no other option.

“Naturally, I can’t promise she’ll forgive you. I’m afraid I can’t really tell just how angry Nara is right now. But I know this for sure: If you don’t apologize, your relationship really will end here.”

“……………”

“……So any proper grown-up would tell you the same thing: Go say you’re sorry. The rest, you’ll have to work out yourself, including whether you actually apologize or not.”

“……Counselor,” Umidori said, clutching her sleeves and looking up at him. “I—I just…”

“……Heh-heh, from the look on your face, I can tell you have your answer,” he said, shrugging. “Better act now. Perhaps Nara is wandering the shrine, searching for you.”

“……………!”

That made up Umidori’s mind, and she leaped to her feet.

She bowed low to the yukata gent.

“Um, I can’t thank you enough! Thanks for taking time for a stranger’s problems! I’ll never forget this!

“……But are you sure you don’t need anything? If you give me your bank account number, I can wire you some money later…”

“Ha-ha, seriously, don’t worry about it. I wanted to help.”

He waved a hand at her.

“I hope you and Nara can patch things up. I would like your friendship to last forever.”

“…………! O-okay, then! I’ll do my best!”

Umidori bowed her head one more time.

“Th-then if it’s in the cards, may we meet again! Goodbye!”

With that, she turned and ran on out of the police station.

“I’d have to accept it. If you don’t like me anymore, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“The reason I’d pull away if you ever turned on me is because I care about you! The last thing I want is to hurt you!”

“I mean, I’m not normal. I’m not allowed to have normal friends. Not when I can’t lie…”

“……………”

Everything Umidori had said on the phone was running through the back of Nara’s mind.

All things that had rubbed her the wrong way and annoyed her to no end. She’d had no clue how Umidori could possibly say anything so awful.

But now…

“……U-um, Nara,” Umidori’s mother ventured, seeing the look on the girl’s face. “M-maybe you’ll just r-roll your eyes at me, but…I have a dream.”

“……A dream?”

“I-I’d like to…rejoin society,” she said, eyes darting around, not confident. “I—I know…that’s like, the h-hardest thing ever. But I—I do want to g-get out there and find a new j-job. N-not like my old one, but one I c-can actually do. And then…”

“……Then?”

“……And then, well…” Umidori’s mother fidgeted, almost shivering. “I-I’d like to live with T-Tougetsu again. And be a p-proper mother to her this time.”

“…………”

“……Heh…heh…heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Nara, I-I’m s-sure you’ve got no idea…what to make of that. Y-you know how useless… I am. H-how can I call myself…a mother now? I—I don’t have any right…”

“……That’s not true,” Nara said firmly, looking Mangetsu right in the eye. “I think it’s a lovely dream.”

“……Huh?”

“And I think Umidori would be overjoyed if it came true. She straight up told me she loves her mom—so at the least, Mangetsu, I hope your dream comes true.”

“…………!”

“……But before I give anyone else advice, I’d better sort myself out.”

“……? Mm? Wh-what do you mean?”

“……So, the thing is,” Nara said, awkwardly scratching her cheek. “I’m actually in the middle of a big fight with……”

……But even as the words left her mouth, she clammed up.

“…………Mm?”

Her eyes were on the view ahead of her.

They were sitting on a bench, and in the distance, they could see the row of stalls—and a girl running up to them.

A tall girl with long black hair.

“…………Umidori?”

“……Huh?!” Umidori’s mother started, letting out a squeak. “What? U-Umidori… Y-you mean Tougetsu? You’re kidding? Wh-wh-where?”

“……Uh, she’s headed right toward us.”

“…………! S-so she is……!”

A beat later, she spotted her daughter—and clapped both hands over her mouth, overwhelmed. “W-wow, it’s really Tougetsu! It’s been…a year and half…”

“……So she came back on her own,” Nara said, sounding a bit sulky.

But her eyes never once left Umidori.

—Tug, tug.

Umidori’s mother was tugging her sleeve.

“……? What, Mangetsu?”

“S-so there you h-have it, Nara,” she said, holding Nara’s sleeve between two fingers. “I-I’m glad I g-got the chance to apologize and t-talk to you. I—I hope we can do this again s-sometime.”

“……Mm?”

“B-bye!”

She got up and tried to walk off—in the opposite direction from her daughter.

“……Wait!” Nara yelped, jumping up and grabbing Mangetsu’s hand. “S-stop right there! Where do you think you’re going, Mangetsu?!”

“……? Where else? Himeji!”

“……?! You’re leaving?!”

“……W-well, yes.” Umidori’s mother nodded. “I apologized to you. That’s why I came to this festival, so…”

“……Nope! Nope, nope, nope! What about her?!” Nara pointed at Umidori. “You’re not leaving without seeing her, are you?! After coming all this way?!”

“……Uh, um? Th-that was the plan,” she said, looking rather lost. “I—I can’t risk meeting T-Tougetsu! I don’t have the right…”

“……The right?”

“I—I can’t face Tougetsu until…until I’m back on my feet, back in society!” Umidori’s mother said, trying to free herself from Nara’s grasp (extremely feebly). “I-it’s far t-too soon! I d-don’t even have…a plan of action yet!”

“……Please, Mangetsu. That won’t matter.”

“……Huh?”

“I dunno if just runs in your genes, but I have had enough of your family’s bullshit,” Nara snapped, tightening her grip on Mangetsu’s wrist. “We’re gonna wait right here for Umidori. If we stand still, she’s bound to find us.”

“……?! H-huh?!”

The color drained from Umidori’s mother’s face. “N-n-n-no way, Nara! L-let go! M-mercy, please!”

“No mercy! I’m not about to allow desertion in the face of the enemy twice!”

“…………Huh?”

Umidori was moving as fast as she could through the crowds, trying not to bump into anyone. When she saw the two of them together, however, she froze in her tracks.

“……Wait, how?!” she gasped, gaping. “Wh-why are you with my mother, Nara?!”

“…………”

In response, Nara awkwardly scratched her cheek. “Things just turned out that way.”

“……They did?”

“……Mangetsu, your daughter’s here.”

Nara patted Umidori’s mother on her shoulder.

“Don’t you have anything to say to her? As her mother?”

“…………! I—I will hold this against you f-forever, Nara!” she wailed, giving Nara a baleful glare. After a long moment, she turned to Umidori, resigned to her fate. “…………! T-Tougetsu…… Uh, um…… L-long time no see?”

“…………Y-yeah, Mom, it’s been a while,” Umidori said, every bit as stiff.

Something flowed between them, but Nara couldn’t find a word to describe it.

……Why is my mom here? And why is she with Nara?

Umidori was still reeling, but before she could put the question into words, her mother spoke up.

“…………Uh, um, Tougetsu!” she yelped. “I—I heard you had the th-third-best grades in your year, first term!”

“………Mm?”

Umidori was completely caught off guard.

And her mother kept babbling.

“Y-you were fourth in third term l-last year, s-so you’ve gone up one! Y-you must have worked r-really hard……!”

“……………Oh, um, yes. Thank you?” Umidori said, baffled. “……Um, why do you know that?”

“……O-of course I know. Y-you’re sending your report cards to…y-your grandmother. Sh-she tells me about them. I—I always look forward to the end of t-term.”

“…………”

“Y-you always did get good grades. Always 100 percent on grade school tests. G-got into a prestigious high school…

“……I—I was a humanities type by default b-because I never learned to study p-properly. I was r-really the saddest kind of student. I—I really think you’re amazing, Tougetsu. I-I’m so proud of you…”

“…………Mom,” Umidori said, looking bowled over. “……You seem…a lot better than the last time we met.”

“……! Heh! Heh-heh-heh-heh! D-do I? W-well, they’re giving me a good life. I’m u-using up my mother’s money… Eh-heh-heh-heh!”

“…………”

The conversation died.

Five seconds. Ten. Neither seemed to know what else to say.

At the fifteen-second mark, Umidori’s mother let out a howl and turned on her heel, running off to the hills.

“S-sorry, Tougetsu! Nara! I can’t! I’m going back to Himeji!”

“Ack! W-wait, Mangetsu!” Nara yelped. But Mangetsu didn’t even look back, just vanished into the distance.

……………

Leaving Nara and Umidori alone together.

“…………”

Beneath the night sky, a long-haired girl and a short-haired girl stared at each other.

“………Um, Nara, I have lots of questions about my mom, but…,” Umidori began. “That was the first time we’ve talked in a very long time.”

“……Yeah, so I gathered,” Nara nodded, impassive. She pointed at the bench behind her. “Umidori, let’s sit down and have a long chat ourselves.”

“At the very least, you can’t just ditch,” Nara said once they were seated. “Like, I’m not against you going home, but you’ve at least gotta talk to everyone and convince them. You can’t just give Envy Sakura a message and vanish on us.”

“…………”

“Togari looked ready to cry. ‘I was so looking forward to working a festival stall with her!’ she said.”

“……You’re so right.” Umidori nodded feebly. “In hindsight, I was being really self-centered. At the time, I genuinely believed it was the best choice, but…”

“……Well, I’m not about to pin this all on you.”

“……Huh?”

“It’s half my fault. I know that.” Nara sighed. “That’s why I’m here to bring you back. Kudo said I had to go after you.”

“……Nara,” Umidori said, looking up at her. “I’ve actually been at the police station.”

“……Huh?”

“I met a man there who called himself a counselor. He looked young but was probably in his forties.”

………………

“……Huh, I see,” Nara said once Umidori was done. She sounded impressed. “This alleged counselor is fishy as all hell, but his advice was on point. I’m B-san, and you’re A-san.”

“……Yeah, very much so. Just hearing my story let him analyze our relationship with such precision—I guess that’s what professionals do. Even if he was a very odd sort of man.”

“……Well, I’m not sure I want a fishy stranger analyzing me, and the analogy he chose is a tad creepy.”

Nara shrugged but turned back to Umidori.

“……So? Sounds like this so-called counselor helped you finally figure out why I was so mad…

“……But now that you get it, do you have anything to say to me?”

“…………”

Umidori swallowed hard, holding her gaze.

“……So, Nara…… I thought about a lot of things on my way here. What should I say to you? How should I apologize?”

“……Mm-hmm.”

“I thought and thought and thought and finally reached a conclusion,” Umidori said. She took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I’m sorry, Nara. I don’t think I can change myself anytime soon.”

“…………”

“If you really do turn on me someday…I don’t think I have it in me to chase after you,” Umidori said, sounding deeply upset about that. “I’m well aware of how awful that sounds, but…I also can’t lie about how I feel.”

“…………Right.” Nara nodded after a brief silence. “Well, that’s how things are. Don’t let it get you down, Umidori. If you reached that conclusion knowing what I have to say about it, I’ve got nothing else…”

“—But Nara!” Umidori said, talking over her. “I may not be able to chase after you. But I can do this!”

“……Huh?”

A moment later…

Umidori had her arms around Nara.

“…………Huh?”

Holding her tight.

Umidori pressed her body as close to Nara’s as possible.

More accurately, given the height difference, this left Nara’s face buried in Umidori’s boobs.

“……………??”

Nara remained expressionless, but she did blink several times.

“……………I’m really sorry, Nara. This is all I could think of,” Umidori said, not letting her go. “As I was trying to work out how to apologize, I realized something else: I’ve never once been the one to initiate a hug.”

“…………”

“You hug me fairly often, Nara. Play with my hair, ask to rest your head on my lap…make jokes about going into withdrawal if you don’t have regular physical contact with me.”

Umidori’s voice was squeaking a bit.

“……I’ve been too embarrassed to admit it, but…I actually really like that.”

“……………”

“Every time you put your arms around me or cuddled up to me…I didn’t say anything, but I was really happy about it. I could feel how much you like me. And that felt good.”

“………Is this real?” Nara said, voice muffled in the cleavage. “Are you feeling okay, Umidori? You’re not running a fever? You’re not gonna die of shame in a minute or two?”

“……! I—I sure feel like I am! But saying this out loud is part of making up,” Umidori squeaked. She cleared her throat a few times, trying to hide her nerves. “B-but Nara, I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve come to me like this, yet I’ve never once come to you. And I realized that’s super weird. I only receive and never give.”

“…………”

“It’s like a mini version of our fight. And when I realized that, I knew. Even if I can’t change myself right away, I can give you a hug right now.”

“…………So you thought the hug would serve as an apology?” Nara scoffed. “That’s one way to say sorry, but did you really think I’d forgive you just because you hugged me once?”

“……No, honestly, I didn’t know if it would work,” Umidori admitted. “………But I did think you’d like it.”

“……………Huh?”

“……! I—I mean, Nara, i-if I hugged you…”

Umidori’s voice was almost a whisper.

“………I thought you’d be tickled pink. Am I right?”

“…………”

“………I mean, I have these kotatsu boobs.”

“…………”

Only then did Nara peel her face out of Umidori’s cleavage.

And with her eyes free, she looked up at Umidori.

“…………”

Umidori was redder than a tomato.

She had a hand to her face and was covering the lower half, her eyes staring into the distance, clearly too mortified to make eye contact.

That alone told Nara this had taken a lot of courage for her.

“……I see,” Nara whispered. “Well, this is a doozy. I wondered what you’d have to say for yourself, but I did not see a hug coming. Never heard of anyone apologizing this way before.

“And I’m even more amazed you really thought I’d be mollified by this embrace. You thought you could hug the anger out of me? How easy do you think I am?” she sighed.

“…………I-I’m sorry, Nara,” Umidori said, eyes down. “This was the best I could come up with, and I thought it was the right choice… Am I wrong?”

“…………”

Nara turned her head away.

“…………Make a habit of it.”

“……Huh?”

“Not just this once. You need to regularly hug me. As often as I hug you.”

Nara sounded downright cross.

“Naturally, I’m not going to give you any signals. You have to hug me of your own accord when the urge strikes you. Especially when it’s just the two of us, and we’re having fun. I need hardly point out that if you leave too long a gap between these hugs, I’ll hold it against you.”

“…………Um?!”

This stream of words left Umidori blinking.

“Nara, what does that mean?”

“Don’t you get it?!” She still didn’t look at Umidori. Nara ruffled her own hair. “If you promise to provide regular hugs, then I’m saying I’ll forgive you. The girl in front of you is the easiest in the whole universe!”

“…………Oh?”

“Don’t act surprised! Please, Umidori! Your apology was pulverizing! All it did was make me love you even more!” Nara shouted, as if raising her voice helped hide how embarrassed she was.

Then her tone changed.

“But I’m sorry, too, Umidori,” she said. “I was sulking like a stubborn toddler. I’m especially sorry I told you to drop dead. I didn’t know your history, and just forced my way of thinking onto you.

“The last few days, I’ve been so worried about our problems, I barely slept…and I’m truly, sincerely sorry for what I did to you. I know I don’t deserve it, but I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me.

“If you turned on me, I’d be so sad. I’d never stop crying.”

“Okay, Umidori, we’d better head back,” Nara said, eyes on the lights of the stalls ahead. “It’s pretty late, but if we hustle, we can help the stall a bit.”

“……Mm-hmm, right! Let’s go, Nara,” Umidori said, balling her fists to pump herself up. “I abandoned my duties, so I’m gonna work extra hard for the time remaining! And I’ve gotta apologize to Bullshit-chan, too.”

“You bet. Make it a good one,” Nara nodded. “Still, they’re all nice, so I bet they’ll forgive you the second you come back.”

“Ha-ha, I feel like that’s a little too nice,” Umidori said. But then she gasped and winced. “No, I really can’t just let that carry me. I’ve gotta make it up to them.”

“……Mm? Where’s that coming from?”

………………

“……Huh? You’ve got no ‘love’? You’re not ‘thinking of us’?” Nara let out the strangest noise. “Hang on, this so-called counselor really said that to you?

“Good lord, you didn’t exactly give me the full version of this A-san/B-san story, but clearly, I was a fool to say anything nice. This counselor’s a quack.”

“……? Like a duck?”

“No, the fake doctor kind.” Nara shook her head. “Of course you think about other people. Of course you have love in your heart.”

“……Do I?” Umidori sounded unconvinced. “Everyone gives me so much, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t given anything—”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Nara said, cutting her off. “Listen, Umidori—you said this Himeji, too. You think you’re not normal, a total weirdo, and that we accept that about you and allow you to be with us.

“On some level, that is true. Neither I nor anyone working the stall really thinks of you as weird anymore, and we certainly accept you—but have you ever wondered why?”

“……? Wh-why?” Umidori echoed, eyes wandering. “D-don’t ask me. I just assumed you were nice.”

“Not at all, Umidori,” Nara said, shaking her head.

“We’re not bothered by your weirdness because you looked past our weirdness first.”

“……Huh?”

“You were first, and we followed. You were on our side, and that put us in your camp. You accepted us, which is why we accepted you.”

Nara was looking Umidori right in the eye.

“Umidori, it really is just that simple.”

8
Doubts and Conspiracy

“Hey, Saladette.”

Elsewhere in the shrine…

In line by the portable toilets, some ways from the stall, Kudo spoke.

“One thing bothered me about today. Listen close.”

“……Huh? Do we have to say this now?” Saladette winced, in line next to her.

She was glaring at the portable toilets, stamping her feet like she was trying to distract herself.

“I—I mean…it’s all I can do to hold it in!”

“……Haah, Saladette, I warned you to go often!” Kudo sighed, one eye on her lie’s disgrace. “You’re still not used to having a body, so I get making these mistakes…but you can listen even while you fight the urge to pee.”

“……! Well, don’t blame me if I wet myself!” Saladette hissed, scowling at Kudo. “So? What is it you can’t wait to share?”

“……Well, nothing that urgent,” Kudo said, scratching her cheek. “But watching the fallicide, I thought…why is it Bullshit-chan can actually eat lies?”

“Hah?” Saladette frowned at her, lost.

“I mean, think about, Saladette,” Kudo added. “Functionally speaking, she consumes other lies and converts the energy of the feelings invested in them into fuel. The same way we turn meat and fish and veggies into nutrition.

“And by eating other lies that way, she’s sustained her life for over a decade now, even though she’s not a very strong lie and should have vanished long ago. Somehow, she’s battling destiny instead.”

“………Yeah, so she is,” Saladette said, frowning. “I know all that, but what about it?”

“……Please, Saladette. That’s not the question. The logic is inherently insane!”

“……………Is it?”

“If lies could eat other lies to gain power, then they’d never need Mud Hat in the first place.”

“……………??”

“Hurt could do it. Seiryoin’s Miser Clown. None of them would need to join his faction; they could just get out there and hunt lies, powering themselves up. But none of them are. Which means only one thing.

“The only manifest lie who can eat other lies is Bullshit-chan. That explains everything. Including why the Mud Hat faction exists.”

“……………”

Saladette’s head went down as she considered this.

“……Okay, that makes sense. Didn’t even occur to me until you brought it up. But yeah, if every lie could consume other lies, then they wouldn’t need Mud Hat’s hypnotism to boost their skills.

“……But is that really worth probing?”

“……? Why not?”

“It’s not really all that weird that Bullshit-chan alone can eat lies,” Saladette said, shaking her head. “I mean, only Envy Sakura can change people’s faces, and only Hurt can instantly make people sick or injured. I guess what I’m saying is…”

“……That’s Bullshit-chan’s main ability?”

“……! Y-yeah, exactly!” Saladette nodded. “Basically, that’s what Bullshit-chan’s lie is! That’s why she can eat other lies and why other lies can’t do what she does. Just like Bullshit-chan can’t do what Envy Sakura or Hurt do. Mm, I’m sure of it!”

“…………”

“……Mm? Ryoko?”

“……Saladette, that’s exactly what I was wondering about.” Kudo sighed. “I’d figured out everything you just said, but that just left me even more confused.

“If her lie gave her that power, then what kind of lie was it? And who told the lie that gave Bullshit-chan a body and that ability? An ability that really works in her favor?”

“………Uh, um?” Saladette looked baffled. “I mean, how would I know?”

“……Fair,” Kudo sighed, looking up at the sky. “But it’s bugging me. I guess I’m gonna have to find the right moment to ask her.

“Bullshit-chan, when were you told, by whom, and what for?”

—A little earlier…

“I hope you and Nara can patch things over. I would like your friendship to last forever.”

“…………! O-okay, then! I’ll do my best!”

Umidori bowed one more time.

“Th-then if it’s in the cards, may we meet again! Goodbye!”

With that, she turned and ran on out of the police station.

Tnk, tnk, tnk, tnk.

……Her footsteps faded, leaving just the two of them in the partitioned waiting area.

The yukata gent and the policewoman.

“This certainly is a surprise,” he said, leaning back in his chair and turning to the office. “You knew her, Seiryoin?”

“……No idea what you mean,” the policewoman said, not batting an eye. “I’ve never seen her before in my life. Who was she?”

“……You sure you don’t know her? She seemed to recognize you.”

“I don’t. Think about it. If she recognized me, she would be recognizing this body’s owner. My face looks nothing like this woman’s.”

“……………”

The yukata gent gave the policewoman a long look.

But in time, he sighed, letting tension dissipate.

“Very well. We’ll go with that. You certainly are a hard worker, Seiryoin. You borrowed her body just to get my attention?”

“Yes, I did. Most vexing,” she grumbled. “When I first heard the news, my jaw dropped. You, of all people, in the arms of the law?”

“Ha-ha, I do beg your pardon. I am the victim here.” He chuckled. “It wasn’t the worst way to kill time. I’m almost grateful to that young pickpocket.

“—So? If you came all the way here to fetch me, I assume the others are assembled and waiting?”

“……They are.” The policewoman nodded. “Everyone’s waiting at the location specified, but the instigator was a no-show, so a few of them seem ready to ditch.”

“Oh dear. I’d better get over there,” the yukata gent said, scrambling to his feet. “I still don’t have my wallet back…but fair enough. It’s pocket change. Keeping my clients waiting would be a far greater loss.

“There you have it, Seiryoin. I’m leaving the police station, so you can let this officer have her body back.”

“…………”

“Mm? Something the matter?”

“……What are you thinking?” she asked, frowning at him. “I’ve known you a while now, but this is the first time you’ve lost me this thoroughly.

“Why have you summoned all the Mud Hat faction members to Kobe? What’s the goal? Are we having a faction R&R at Arima Onsen?”

“……Heh-heh, a hot springs vacation? Seiryoin, that’s droll,” the yukata gent said, smiling pleasantly. “I suppose that would be fun, but I’m afraid that’s not the goal. This is a festival, like I said on the phone.”

“……A festival?”

“Yes, a grand festival, right here in Kobe,” he said, his eyes turning to the map of the city on the wall. “One thing’s for sure—we’ll mess Kobe up completely. But who cares? You can’t do anything interesting if you worry about the side effects.”

“……I see. That’s explanation enough.” The policewoman sighed, rubbing her brows. “Your usual bad-taste stunts, for shits and giggles? Not like I care. But if you keep doing this, eventually someone’s going to stab you in the back, Mud Hat.”

“……Oh, you’re scaring me, Seiryoin,” Mud Hat said, like it was all a big joke. “I’m hardly deserving of violence! All I’m good for is giving people a little nudge. I am but a feeble hypnotist.”

And so, summer came to a close.

The seasons turned slowly onward toward winter.

AFTERWORD

Not to immediately get into mild spoilers, but I want to take this space to write a few words about Kakogawa. This novel contains a lot of lines like, “No way does Kakogawa have multiple local dishes!” but this is simply what the characters believe and is not a reflection of reality. Kakogawa isn’t just katsumeshi! They also have two local wagashi specialties, kako no mochi and aitata monaka. See? They do have multiple local dishes!

I’m Kaeru Ryouseirui, and it’s nice to be back. (I was born and raised in Kobe, but my grandmother’s from Kakogawa, so I’m a quarter Kakogawan.) Few light novels out there have needed Kakogawa’s help as much as this one. I can only sleep with my feet pointed towards Kakogawa now. Thank you all so much!

From katsumeshi to sobameshi, all the dishes mentioned in this volume are genuinely great, and I hope readers nationwide will try them. My personal favorite is ikanago no kugini. Also, should you find yourself in Motomachi, I’m afraid Katsu Messiah is not real.

The rest is salutations. To my editor, once again, I was a total nightmare. Three times in a row, a number even the best Koshien-bound baseball high schools rarely manage. This is no laughing matter, so next time I’m aiming to be eliminated in the prelims. And in the third or fourth round, too! That’s my intent anyway.

Natsuki Amashiro, once again, the schedule placed an undue burden on you, and I can’t apologize enough. But the cover art of Bullshit-chan’s yukata is the best! She didn’t get to do much last time, but seeing her in that adorable yukata almost certainly made up for it. I look forward to working with you again. Like I said last time, I could not write without your art!

Finally, a hearty thank-you to anyone involved in publishing and sales. I don’t get many chances to thank you, but I am genuinely grateful.

And to everyone reading this volume! I can’t thank you enough for following BS through three volumes! We’re hardly changing tack now, so I hope you’ll keep reading.

My baseball team is actually highly ranked for once, so I’m extremely excited about it. I hope to see you all again next time! Goodbye for now.

Kaeru Ryouseirui

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The BS Situation of Tougetsu Umidori Vol 3

Table of Contents

1
Yakisoba and White Rice

2
The Past and Kakogawa

3
Himeji and the Former Princess

4
Shingetsu Umidori and Mangetsu Umidori

5
Conflict and Capture

6
Kakogawa and XXXX

7
A-san and B-san

8
Doubts and Conspiracy